Aria the Scarlet Ammo (novel), Volume 2

by Chugaku Akamatsu

  “Aria.”

  “What?”

  “Your crawling speed is pretty fast.”

  “I’m good at it. I’m the fastest girl in Assault.”

  “I figured as much.”

  “Why?”

  “There’s nothing to get in your way, after all.”

  “Like what?”

  “Breasts.”

  Wham!

  From around the corner, Aria’s kangaroo kick found its way to the side of my head. Her foot sank in about ten inches.

  We found Shirayuki. She was in the office of the teacher that summoned her. The two of us peered inside from the thin openings of an air vent. Given its size, we wound up peeking into the office with our faces practically pressed against each other. If Aria were to show disgust or get upset at the, shall I say, “joining of our bodies,” I would start feeling awkward too. So I distanced my face from hers a little and cast her a quick glance. The light seeping in from the vent shone on Aria’s face, which I was seeing at point-blank range.

  Aah, hell.

  She was so cute, I nearly clicked my tongue in resentment. It was infuriating to admit, but Aria really did have an adorable face. It had features as well-formed as that of a doll’s, but it was also rich with expressions. Whether it was a look of happiness, sadness, or even one of concentration like she had on now, they all tugged at your heartstrings. She had the power of a Hollywood child actress. It was so unfair.

  “Hotogi ...”

  The voice that called Shirayuiki’s name was somewhat low for a woman’s. Inside the office was the head teacher for class B of the second year students, Ms. Tsuzuri. Ms. Tsuzuri was a teacher belonging to the Dagula (interrogation) division, and she was sitting in a black, leather chair with her legs crossed, wearing lace-up boots. Shirayuki was sitting in a chair across from Ms. Tsuzuri with her head hanging down.

  “Your grades suddenly started dropping recently ...”

  Despite being indoors, Ms. Tsuzuri was wearing a dark black coat, and she blew out cigarette smoke in the form of a ring. The manner in which she wore her coat reminded me of how slovenly doctors in manga wear their white coats. I could see the black, leather holster around her waist and the deep-black gun that rested inside it—a Glock 18. Among the teachers at our school, Tsuzuri was at the head of the list for dangerous people. First off, she always had glassy eyes. It was like she was on some sort of drug all year round. I mean, the grass-like smell coming from her cigarette was clearly different from the smell that commercial cigarettes gave off. I had to wonder if it was something a person could legally smoke in Japan. Tsuzuri had thin, black leather gloves over her hands and using one of them, put out the “cigarette” in an ashtray.

  “Well, your studies aren’t that important though,” Tsuzuri said with a yawn.

  Hey. A teacher isn’t supposed to say things like that. This is why Butei High students’ average deviation value doesn’t get any higher than fifty.

  “What was it? Uhh. Oh, right. Change. Change gets you wondering.”

  Tsuzuri, with a brain capable of forgetting a simple word like that, and an expression that read as complete apathy, was definitely someone not to be trifled with. But there was one thing at which she was frighteningly adept at as a butei.

  Interrogation.

  With regard to her skill in that field, she is one of the five most talented people in Japan. It was unclear what she did to the people she questioned, but when interrogated by Tsuzuri, even the most tight-lipped criminals had confessed everything. Apparently, by the time the interrogation was over, the criminal went insane and called her “Queen” or “Goddess,” but I wasn’t really sure what that was all about. Tsuzuri shook her head, tossing around her jet-black, bobbed hair.

  “I’m going to get right to the point. Hotogi ... did that person make contact with you by any chance?”

  “You’re referring to Durandal?”

  Aria’s eyebrows twitched upon hearing what Shirayuki said.

  Durandal.

  I’d only seen that name in the notification that was e-mailed to us, but I remembered it as well. If I recall, Durandal was a kidnapper that targeted buteis with supernatural abilities—chouteis.

  But Durandal’s very existence has been considered to be a rumor for some time now. No one has actually seen Durandal. The majority thinks the chouteis, who were said to be abducted, actually went missing while working on an unrelated case. As things stood, Durandal was just an urban legend that nobody took seriously.

  “Nothing of that sort has happened. Quite frankly, even if Durandal does actually exist, I’m sure he would target more powerful chouteis instead of somebody like me.”

  “Hotogi, have more confidence in yourself. You’re the pride of our school, you know?”

  “T-That’s not true,” said Shirayuki, lowering her gaze in embarrassment and hiding behind her perfectly straight bangs.

  “Hotogi, I’ve told you time and time again. Get a bodyguard. A report came from Lezzad mentioned there’s a high chance Durandal is targeting you. The same thing was predicted at SSR, right?”

  “But ... a bodyguard ...”

  “What’s the problem,” slurred Tsuzuri as she wrapped up some odd grass in what seemed to be a page she ripped out of an English to Japanese dictionary and bound the paper together with a lick of her tongue.

  “There’s a childhood friend of mine I want to look after ... and if someone were to follow me around everywhere, it would be kind of ...”

  “Hotogi, we teachers are worried about you. The Adsiard is taking place soon, so there will be more people on campus than usual. Even if it’s only for the duration of the event, have a capable butei act as your bodyguard. This is an order.”

  “... But Durandal is a criminal that doesn’t even exist.”

  “This is an order. I said it twice because this is important. You will regret it if I have to say it a third time,” said Tsuzuri, lighting her cigarette and blowing smoke in Shirayuki’s face.

  Hey, Tsuzuri. I don’t care what happens to you, but what are you gonna do if Shirayuki loses any more brain cells.

  “*Cough*. Y-yes Ma’am. I understand.”

  Shirayuki squinted her eyes as the smoke came near them and finally nodded her consent.

  ... Taking the conversation we just overheard into account, it made sense why Shirayuki was called to the educational affairs department. Shirayuki, a choutei, had recently been receiving warnings from teachers that Durandal might be targeting her. That was why the educational affairs department wanted her to get a bodyguard. But Shirayuki had persistently refused. You could say I agreed with her regarding the bodyguard. At Butei High, students were often given warnings just like these, but there were rarely any actual instances of said students being attacked. SSR’s predictions couldn’t really be trusted to begin with, and Lezzad was famous for generating rumors. Moreover, the enemy this time was Durandal, whose very existence was doubtful. In other words, the educational affairs department was being overprotective. Being the excellent student that she was, Shirayuki had a lot of expectations placed upon her. If there were even a slight possibility of anything happening to her, the educational affairs department would take no chances. That‘s why they’re overreacting to this unconfirmed information and ordering Shirayuki to have a bodyguard. Shirayuki is the one to empathize with here. It must be really bothersome having your life disrupted for the convenience of adults. Just as I was starting to put a wry expression on my face, I was startled by the noise of Aria punching open the air vent.

  “Wha-? Hey!”

  I grabbed onto the hem of her skirt in an attempt to stop her, but a few kicks in my direction set her free, and she jumped down into the office with her skirt fluttering wildly. Shirayuki, Tsuzuri, and I had a look of shock on our faces. I couldn’t see from up here, but I’m pretty sure her skirt turned up a lot farther than what would be deemed appropriate.

  “I’ll be her bodyguard!”

  Taken aback by Aria
’s words, I couldn’t help but lean forward...

  “Whoaa?!” I screamed as I fell towards Aria.

  “Uaah!”

  “Oof!”

  Aria was as flat as a pancake for a moment, but she threw me off soon enough.

  “K-K-Kinji! Don’t press that idiotic face of yours against me! Especially not there!”

  While Aria was yelling at me with a deep red face, Tsuzuri lifted her off the floor by the back of her collar. As I was getting up, I was suddenly lifted up by the front of my collar as well, and Tsuzuri threw both of us against the wall.

  I can’t believe how insanely strong she is.

  “Hmm? What do we have here?” asked Tsuzuri, squatting down and looking into our faces. “Well I’ll be. It’s the two lovebirds from that hijacking incident the other day.”

  Tsuzuri inhaled deeply on her cigarette and audibly cracked her neck twice with a faint smile on her lips as she looked up diagonally into the air. This gesture of hers was a dangerous sign.

  And don’t call us lovebirds.

  “If it isn’t Aria H. Kanzaki. Dual Government pistols and two short katanas. Alias: Quarda. An S-rank butei who was active in Europe. But it looks like all of your exploits are officially recorded as achievements of the London Bureau of Butei. It’s because you don’t know how to cooperate with others, you dolt.”

  Tsuzuri grabbed one of Aria’s pigtails by its base and continued discussing her profile while getting a good look at her face.

  “T-That hurts. And I’m not a dolt. Noblewomen don’t boast of their exploits. Even if others claim them for their own, we won’t deny it!” answered Aria, unflinching and bearing her cuspid.

  “Is that so? You only wind up losing out with that sort of social status. I’m glad I’m a commoner. There was something else ... Oh, right. You can’t sw-”

  “Aaaaah!”

  Tsuzuri was about to say something, but Aria flung her arms around and cut her off with a loud shriek. Additionally, she had turned bright red and her mouth was rapidly opening and closing.

  Sw? What’s that?

  “T-T-That's not a weakness of mine! I’m fine if I just put a ring buoy on!”

  Oh. Aria, you just gave it away.

  Shirayuki, who was still stunned by the sudden commotion, didn’t seem to pick up on it, but I understood perfectly.

  You can’t swim. Haha. I just learned something useful. Good job, Tsuzuri!

  “And over here ...” Tsuzuri let go of panicky Aria and looked at me, who was imagining Aria drowning in a kiddie pool, “... we have Kinji Tohyama.”

  “Um ... I didn’t want to come here, but Aria went and ...”

  “Unsociable personality. You have a tendency to distance yourself from others.”

  It would seem that Tsuzuri had data on every student here in that head of hers, which she was using to recall information on me.

  “However, there are many students in Assault who regard you quite highly, and it’s believed that you possess some type of latent talent. If I’m not mistaken, the cases you’ve solved are ... searching for a cat in Aomi, the hijacking of ANA flight 600 ... Why is everything you do on such a small or grand scale?”

  “Don’t ask me.”

  “Your weapon is a illegally customized Beretta M92F.”

  Uh-oh.

  “It’s capable of firing in three-round burst or even full automatic. Why don’t we just call it the “Kinji Model”?

  “Uh, the thing is ... it was destroyed during the hijacking incident. Currently, I’m using a cheap model I bought from the U.S. armed forces. It’s in conformation with the law of course.”

  “Oh? I’ll bet you’ve already asked the Armed (Equipment) division to customize it for you, haven’t you?”

  *Sizzle*

  “Ow!”

  Tsuzuri, showing me the feat of being able to laugh while angry, had just pressed the end of her cigarette into my hand! Unbelievable. It was just for an instant so there was no burn mark, but what teacher would dare give her student a cigarette burn?! In any event, this lady seemed to know everything.

  “So? What exactly do you mean by ‘I’ll be her bodyguard’?”

  Aria scrambled to her feet as Tsuzuri turned towards her.

  “I meant just what I said. I’ll be Shirayuki’s bodyguard twenty-four hours a day with no remuneration!”

  “Hey, Aria ...!”

  Why are you volunteering to be Shirayuki’s bodyguard? If anything, you’d be one to assault her.

  That’s what I communicated with me eyes, but Aria had made up her mind.

  “... Hotogi, I’m not sure what’s going on, but it looks like an S-rank butei is willing to guard you for free,” said Tsuzuri, sending the hem of her coat flapping as she turned towards Shirayuki.

  “I ... I refuse! It would be appalling to have Aria next to me all the time!”

  The brows under Shirayuki’s perfectly straight bangs furrowed with anger, showing me the exact reaction I expected.

  “If you don't let me be your bodyguard, I’m going to shoot this guy!” declared Aria, pulling a silver Government out from underneath her dark-red skirt and placing the muzzle against my temple.

  H-Hey! Butei Charter, Article Nine! Article Nine! Buteis aren’t supposed to kill people, Aria!

  “K-Kin-chan!” cried Shirayuki, placing both hands over her mouth.

  Aria had an evil smile on her face that seemed to indicate everything was going according to plan.

  “Hmmm. I see. So that’s the relationship you all have. Well? What are you going to do Hotogi?”

  I don’t know what Tsuzuri found amusing about all of this, but she smiling openly.

  That’s not the issue, is it? Do something about this gun in my face!

  “O-O-On one condition!” Shirayuki exclaimed with clenched fists beside her thighs and her teary eyes closed tight. “Kin-chan has to act as my bodyguard too! Twenty-four hours a day!

  Shirayuki’s tearful voice echoed within the office.

  “I’m ... I’m going to live with Kin-chan too!”

  Something possessing a shape very similar to myself flew out of my body.

  Third Bullet Caged Bird

  Being a bodyguard is one of the most popular jobs for a butei. Normally, it involves guarding VIPs such as politicians, celebrities, company directors, or their children, but occasionally there are times when a butei guards another butei whose life is threatened. For the most part, the bodyguard will live with the person he or she is guarding, but in this case, the client—Shirayuki—has conversely expressed a strong desire to live at my place. Well, I had absolutely no intention of living in a girl’s dormitory, which is essentially a field of hysteria mode landmines, so this was the better option, but ... I didn’t think she’d be moving in the very next day.

  “Muto-kun, is really okay for you to do this for free? I should at least pay for gasoline ...” Shirayuki offered.

  “Don’t sweat it! This is nothing!”

  Muto, who for some reason, spoke so formally to Shirayuki despite being in the same grade, got off Logi’s mini-truck, which he used to bring Shirayuki here. He then began unloading her things in such a robotic fashion that I found it sickening to watch.

  ... Was Muto always the type to enjoy physical labor this much?

  “Um ... if my memory serves me correctly, this is the third boy’s dormitory, isn’t it?” asked Muto

  “Uh ... yeah,” replied Shirayuki.

  “Were you planning on using an empty apartment for storage or something? If that’s the case, feel free to call me when you move everything back to the girl’s dormitory! While we’re at it, when we’re finished here, how about getting some tea or something to eat ...?”

  “Ah, Kin-chan!”

  Shirayuki’s face lit up as she saw me coming out of the lobby.

  Muto, who had started to say something, looked at Shirayuki, then at me, then at Shirayuki again, and a question mark formed over his spikey hair.

  “Kin ... Toh
yama?”

  “Muto-kun, the thing is, as of today I’m going to be living in Kin-cha ... Tohyama-kun’s apartment.”

  “Ki-Kinji’s apartment?”

  “Just so you know, it’s part of my job.” I said. “I was chosen to be Shirayuki’s bodyguard. It’s Aria’s fault. Don’t go around telling people.”

  Having heard my explanation, Muto could do nothing but gape at me speechless.

  What kind of reaction is that?

  I was the one who should be speechless. I have to live with two female beasts that could go on a rampage at the drop of a hat. When I returned to my apartment, which still looked like a battlefield, Aria was in the living room tinkering with the window. Taking a closer look, I could see she was setting up an infrared sensor that they sold at the school store.

  “What are you doing?”

  “Can’t you tell by looking? I’m fortifying this apartment.”

  “Don’t!”

  “You’re a butei. What are you getting all excited about? We have to make sure we’re alert to any enemies who approach our client. So much stuff around here is broken anyway. It makes things easier.”

  “You’re the one who broke everything.”

  “Okay. All that’s left is the skylight.”

  Aria magnificently ignored my protests and proceeded to install an infrared sensor on the window above the desk. Unfortunately for her, at 142 centimeters, she didn’t reach. She stretched out her hand as far as she could, and a metal washtub fell down directly onto her head.