Luella’s Longing: Romance on the Oregon Trail Book Two

by Ball, Kathleen

  “Declan, there were rumors about you and Luella for a while. Was there any truth to them?”

  “No, it was just gossip. I wouldn’t show disrespect toward her that way.”

  “It’s been said that if she could marry anyone, it would be you. What do you have to say to that?”

  Declan met her gaze, his expression seemed set in stone. “We are like-minded.”

  “So you plan to marry Luella?”

  “It has crossed my mind, yes.”

  “Thank you, Declan.”

  He didn’t glance at her when he left.

  Next came her father.

  “Auggie Barnes, you have said that your daughter asked the Indian to take her away.”

  “Yes, I did and it’s the truth. She’s always been a bad seed.”

  “Is that bruise on her face from you?”

  “Yes it is, and there is more coming for her.”

  “Mr. Eagle’s Nest—”

  “Captain London, I don’t think that’s his name,” the scout said.

  “Are you sure?”

  The Indian stood. “He’s sure. I want my pelts and silver bracelets back and I will not be bringing that man any horses.” He pointed at Auggie. “I don’t want any part of this game you play. She never asked to be my wife. I can tell.” He sat back down.

  “Luella, you may leave.”

  “Now see here!” her father yelled.

  She stood straight and tall and walked across the tent to the tied man. “I am very sorry for what my father did. I have never seen you before, and I’m sorry he lied. You don’t deserve to be tied up, and I hope you go on and find a wonderful wife.”

  Something flickered in his eyes as he studied her for a long moment. When he spoke, his words sent a wave of shock through her. “You are an honorable woman.”

  Luella walked out of the tent. She didn’t know where to go or who to look for. The whole party was there staring at her and saying hurtful things. She turned and ran in the opposite direction. She found a boulder to sit behind as she cried. She was not a loose or fallen woman. She wasn’t unfit to marry. This wasn’t her fault. But they thought it all to be true. Her father had done something much crueler than throwing her away; he had sold her to an Indian. The Indian had honor, but her father probably didn’t know it or care.

  But Declan had lied for her and humiliation swept through her. There would never be enough time for them to get to know each other or for his heart to heal. She’d just hide in the wagon the rest of the trip and keep to herself. Her leg hurt so much anyway.

  She leaned back against the big rock and studied the blue sky. Big, white, puffy clouds sailed past, pushed by the wind. A nice breeze teased her cheeks, and it didn’t seem as hot for a change. She sighed. Her only crime was jumping out of the wagon while it was moving. Plenty of people did it but they hadn’t been hurt. But the rage her father had shown—had he always hated her? He was never nice, but he hadn’t been this cruel before.

  She supposed she wasn’t good enough to be anyone’s wife. Maybe once she got to Oregon and found a place where no one knew her, she’d make a whole new life and people would like her. She drew in a shaky breath. She needed to calm herself. The captain probably wanted to get on with their journey. He’d cancel their extra day at the fort, and it would be her fault.

  “Luella?” Zander’s soft call startled her.

  “I’m here behind the boulder,” she answered.

  “We’ll be pulling out soon. I was sent to get you.” He shuffled his feet and didn’t quite meet her gaze. He looked so uncomfortable being alone with her.

  She stood and used the rock to get her balance then started walking back to the wagons. She didn’t say a word or ask what happened. It would be best to allow Zander to go his own way.

  She didn’t have to pass many people before she got to her wagon. Zander hadn’t followed her. She would have to climb up herself. Maybe if she climbed up to the bench in the front using the wheel as leverage she could then get over the bench to the back. But just thinking about it was exhausting. She didn’t want to wait for whoever was driving to help her, and she didn’t see a clear way to get in herself. She stared into the back for a moment longer before she turned.

  “We need to talk,” Declan said softly.

  Luella jumped, startled. When had he come up to the wagon? “I’m so sorry. I’m not the one who called you as my witness. I wouldn’t have involved you in my troubles. I’m rather embarrassed about the whole thing.” She couldn’t look at his face, so she stared at a button on his shirt instead.

  He put his hand under her chin and lifted her head until she was looking at him. Then he cupped the side of her cheek that was bruised. “He will never hurt you again.”

  “Did they make him leave?” Her heart beat faster as it usually did when Declan was near.

  “No, nothing like that. The Indian left. He seemed to admire you and told us that he would bring no one back to exact revenge for your father’s actions. He took back his pelts and things he had used to pay for you.”

  “I’m glad they let him go. He really thought my father had the right to sell me.” Her eyes welled up. “I’m sorry. I’m trying not to cry. Could you just give me a boost into the wagon or ask someone else?”

  He stroked her cheek with the back of his hand. “Your father wants you in his wagon.”

  She froze in place. Her mind refused to comprehend what Declan had just said. It was hard to breathe, and she started to fall.

  Declan caught her and laid her on the ground. “Heath, I need your help!”

  Heath left the oxen and came running. “Oh, boy. I’ll get Cora.”

  “Carry her to my wagon,” her father insisted.

  Her father’s voice drew her out of her stupor and she struggled to sit up. “I can walk.” She got onto her hands and knees and suddenly she was in Declan’s arms. “Thank you.” She stood on her feet and stepped away. “Thank both of you for all you’ve done.” She turned and took a step.

  “You’re not going back to his wagon,” Declan declared.

  “I say she does.”

  “I think I can take care of this.” Minister Paul stepped in front of her. “I’m here to marry Declan to Luella.”

  Her jaw dropped, and before she could protest, Cora and Harrison joined them along with Captain London.

  “I’m not giving her away.”

  “Maybe not this time,” Captain London said. He smiled down at Luella. “It would honor me to do it.”

  Before she knew what was happening, she was married to Declan Leary. As she stood staring at her new husband, he kissed her lips lightly.

  “Let’s get ready to go!” Captain London said. “If we move fast enough, we’ll be able to spend the night dancing and celebrating.

  Everyone scurried. Declan lifted her to the front bench and then he helped Heath with the oxen. After that he jumped up and sat beside her. He took the lines, let off the brake, and yelled “haw.”

  She’d never ridden in the front before. It wasn’t comfortable either, but she couldn’t walk, not for a bit at least. She waited for Declan to say something, but he didn’t say a thing for miles. It took a toll on her nerves.

  Finally she had to break the awful silence. “I never—I didn’t— I’m so sorry. I know you want nothing to do with me, and I don’t blame you and you were made to marry me, and that is horrible for you. You should be able to marry who you want. Marriage shouldn’t be just because everyone knows my father will beat me if he gets me to his wagon. That’s not fair to you. I will give you your freedom as soon as we’re done with this doomed journey.”

  “What does that mean? Give me my freedom?” He kept his gaze straight ahead.

  “If we never, well if we never have relations we can get the marriage annulled or something.”

  * * *

  Didn’t she take the vows they spoke in front of God seriously? It wasn’t a priest that preformed the marriage but it was a man who represented God.
He decided not to say anything. He wasn’t ready for them to have relations anyway. He needed to finish mourning Alana first. He did enjoy Luella’s company; she was witty and smart. She was a fair lass, to be sure, and very pleasing.

  For better or worse, they were now one. A frown pinched his brow. Where was he supposed to sleep? If he slept elsewhere, she might get the idea that was the way it would always be, and he didn’t want that. If he slept next to her, she might be scared. He sighed. He would just talk to her later, try to see what she thought. She was worried about the same thing. He wished there had been time for a veil and flowers and a ring. Many could not afford a dress, but in some families they handed the veil down.

  He’d make the best of it and God willing they would be blessed with children. He didn’t trust her father, so he still needed Zander and Heath to help keep watch on her. Her father might sell her to one of the soldiers at the fort. It had taken all his control to keep from hitting that man. He deserved respect as her father, but there must be exceptions.

  Was Alana looking down from heaven, upset with him? He’d promised her forever, but she was dead. In his heart, her death didn’t change his promise. Poor Luella deserved so much more than he could give her. She was not getting an annulment, though, for he’d promised before the Lord to take care of her, but he wasn’t going to say a word until the time came.

  Indians were camped out on the side of the trail trying to sell beaded moccasins, silver bracelets and items other pioneers must have left behind. Luella grabbed his arm and didn’t let go. He patted her hand quickly not wanting to hold the lines in just one hand with so many people around. He needed to have complete control over the animals.

  “They must be friendly or they wouldn’t be allowed to stay so close to the fort. Look, there are other wagons here. It’ll be nice to see a few new faces.”

  “Are we going to the dance tonight?” she asked almost timidly.

  He glanced at her quickly. “I don’t see why not? We’re celebrating our wedding.”

  I don’t know how… But she didn’t know how to tell him, so instead she said, “I’m Mrs. Leary now.”

  “Yes you are. What a lucky lass.”

  “I am. I’m very lucky.” She scooted closer to him. “Are you sure about the Indians? They don’t look friendly.”

  “Did you expect them to smile at you?”

  “Yes, if they want to sell their things they should smile.”

  “A few of the women are smiling. The young pretty ones are.”

  She stiffened against him. “You think they’re pretty?”

  “Sure they aren’t as fair of face as you, but they are pretty.”

  She was quiet for a bit, and he knew she probably wasn’t thinking anything good. “Was there something you wanted to ask me?”

  “Would you—I mean if there was another woman, would you?” Her face reddened.

  “I’ll not be stepping out on you if that’s what you’re asking.”

  She nodded.

  “I’ll be asking the same of you.”

  Her jaw dropped. “Women don’t—”

  He chuckled. “They most certainly do, and it does nothing but bring shame to all involved. It breaks families involved and somehow the woman is blamed more than the man.”

  “I didn’t know. Declan, there are many things I don’t know about. I can do all the work necessary plus much more. I’ve had to do most of the chores on our farm.” She worried at her lower lip with her teeth. “I… don’t know how to act like a wife. My mother always seemed miserable, yet Cora is very happy. My mother has lost many children—they go to God before they are born, and my father blames her, and I’m afraid she’s with child again.” Tears welled in her eyes. Tears Declan longed to wipe away, yet he found it hard to move. “Do I stand next to you at meetings? Will we be having meals at our wagon for us, Heath, and Zander? I know to wash your clothes, but do I wash theirs too?” She frowned and added quickly, “I don’t mind. Do I still sleep in the wagon, or will we have a tent? I need my father to believe the marriage is real. Do I wait until you want to go to bed or if I’m tired can I turn in earlier? My father forbade my mother to go to bed until he was ready. Harrison suggests Cora turn in when she’s tired. I know we have food supplies under the second floor in the wagon. Is that for us to use or do we ask Harrison? What do I do when someone else is driving? Do I walk instead of thinking about sitting next to a man who isn’t my husband?”

  Stunned by the barrage, Declan managed to hold up a hand, stopping her. “Whoa! Luella you’re stressing me with all your questions. You must be nervous, and you don’t have to be. You do what you want. Many of the questions you have we can answer as they come up. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do, and I won’t demand things of you. How does that sound?”

  “Good but what do married couples do in Ireland?”

  The pain in his heart sharpened. “My mother did her work, my Pa did his, but they helped each other. My mother never argued, she let my father think his word was law but my ma really held the purse strings. It worked for them.” He wanted to touch her, to lay a hand on her arm in reassurance, but he settled for gentling his tone. “We’ll find our way.”

  She smiled and nodded. “Look, there’s the fort. I thought it would be much bigger.”

  “It’s big enough, I suspect. It’s not meant for the wagons to go inside the walls.”

  “People are going to restock?”

  “I would imagine they would. I’ll have to ask Harrison what he wants me to get for him.”

  Chapter Four

  A pang of jealousy hit Luella as she watched many of the travelers walk to Fort Laramie, but she didn’t have a cent to buy anything with, so there was no point to her making the journey.

  Zander wasn’t happy because they picked him to stay behind with some others to guard the camp. He sat on a crate near the wagon carving a piece of wood into randomly shaped splinters that fell at his feet. Things had grown tense between him and Luella since her wedding to Declan.

  She took her other clean dress out of the sack and examined it, scowling at the wrinkles. She could try to iron it, but using an iron heated by the fire might not be safe. She hung it from one of the wagon ribs that the canvas was pulled over. Then she took a wet cloth and went down the length of the dress with it, hoping the wrinkles would come out as it dried. It was her Sunday best, but some probably would consider the dress ready for the rag bin.

  She took the time to wash her hair and build a fire to dry it. Declan had never answered whether she was to cook, but she enjoyed cooking, so it was a task she wanted to do. A wisp of sadness touched her heart. She had offered him an annulment, best she remembered that.

  She braided her hair and let it fall down her back. Coffee came next; coffee was always a good idea, especially since she couldn’t just sit still. Sitting around just wasn’t for her. She noticed that Zander didn’t glance her way once. Was he upset for his friend? Did everyone feel bad for Declan?

  She glanced at some nearby wagons. Her mother was already washing clothes. Pa wouldn’t allow her to go into Fort Laramie. Luella couldn’t remember the last time her mother had to wash the clothes—that had been one of Luella’s chores. Since she had been kicked out of her parents’ wagon, they’d passed each other once in a while, but her mother never acknowledged her. At first she thought her mother was afraid to go against her pa but every once in a while she’d look around and see her mother glaring at her.

  She’d been a good daughter and couldn’t understand any of it. Much of her sleep had been lost trying to figure it all out.

  After pouring herself a cup of coffee, she sat down and enjoyed the almost cool breeze. The sun would set in about two hours. Would people really dance? Declan had said they would dance to celebrate their wedding. If only she knew even a few dance steps.

  She heard singing in the distance and knew that Heath and Declan were almost back. Heath had his purchases with him. Declan went to the fr
ont of the wagon for a bit and then came back with a new bridle and some cloth.

  He smiled as he sat and she handed him a cup of coffee.

  “Tell me everything! What did they sell? Were there more Indians in the fort? What about the soldiers? Were there women that lived there?”

  Heath laughed. “I didn’t know you were the curious type.”

  Declan chuckled. “Where have you been? Luella always has lots of questions.”

  Confused, she didn’t know what to say or if she should smile. Was he teasing? Or had she just been insulted? She sipped her coffee and stared into the fire. Declan was right, though. She did ask questions. Did he think her a pest?

  Zander came over and poured himself some coffee. “How is this supposed to work? Do we cook our own meals or will Luella have to do it? Did Harrison say anything about her duties?”

  Luella stood, poured out her coffee and put the cup on the tailgate. Then she walked away. Her duties? She didn’t mind doing it, but not because it was assigned to her. She didn’t work for Harrison or Zander. She was sitting right there and Zander hadn’t even asked her about it.

  It had already been a very trying day. Sold to an Indian and then married to Declan. Now she was supposed to go to a dance when she’d never been to one before. She stared out at the Platte River. At least the water would be good for the next few days.

  Maybe she’d go back, put up the tent and hide in it. No one would bother her in a tent would they? She’d spent so much time inside the wagon she knew where the tent was. Then again, maybe she didn’t have cause to be upset. A woman first belonged to her father and then her husband. She was freer than many but not as free as some.

  Cora walked up and stood next to her with Essie in her arms. “Long day. My goodness, we did an awful lot this day, and we still have to celebrate.” She leaned close and peered into Luella’s eyes. “Wool gathering?”

  “Yes, I just don’t know where I fit.” She released a sigh. “The wagon wasn’t intended for me. It belongs to Harrison. I know you’ve been doing all the cooking since I was confined to the wagon. If you like I can cook for us all.”