Luella’s Longing: Romance on the Oregon Trail Book Two

by Ball, Kathleen

  They kept the food and half the water and made arrangements for the oxen and wagon to be returned once they got to Oregon. People went through the belongings she left behind while the new owners put their own things into the wagon. She tried not to look, but it was impossible. She gasped when she saw the piano.

  She ran and stood between the wagon and the piano. “No.”

  “Get out of the way, you loose skirt,” the eldest man said.

  She drew herself up straight and tall. “Didn’t you ask yourself why did my oxen die while my wagon broke apart until it was useless?”

  “It’s not your business. Now stand aside,” the man practically growled. “This doesn’t belong to you. It belongs to your husband. You have no say.”

  She felt Declan’s heartening presence next to her.

  “She has a say. My wife is very wise, and she’s usually right. I’m dumbfounded that you think you can have those beasts haul your heavy piano over the deserts and mountains and everything in between. Did you take care of your livestock?”

  Captain London cleared his voice loudly. “Leave the piano behind and you will make sure this wagon and the oxen are in good condition upon our arrival in Oregon or you’ll pay for it. Understood?”

  The man stared for a long time. At last, he spat on the ground and answered, “Understood.”

  She walked away. She didn’t want to hear any phony apologies from the overbearing man. Her eyes were now surprisingly dry, and she just wanted to get going. She had been promised clear water at the end of the day and she would be taking a bath. Would she ever be able to get all the sand and dust out of the wagon? Maybe they’d sleep in the tent tonight. It might be cooler. If she could just lie in the circle of his arms, she’d be fine.

  “I’m proud of you, my little meek as a mouse wife.” Declan kissed her forehead.

  “I thought I’d end up under the piano.” She chuckled. “I really did. Thank you for standing up for me.”

  “I stood beside you. That’s as it should be.” He gestured to the wagon. “Let’s get you up on the bench.”

  “I’m supposed to walk.”

  “Usually, but I want you with me. It’s unusual circumstances, and I want to be sure you are all right.”

  She nodded.

  “Do you see that large rock in the distance? It’s Independence Rock. It’s said if you are there by the Fourth of July, you’ll make it through the mountains just fine without getting snowed on.”

  “It’s only June, isn’t it? I’m not sure of the exact date.”

  “It’s June eleventh. The plan is to stop at the rock. From what I gather, it’s a time for celebration. Of course we won’t considering we just buried your family.”

  She stared at the rock. It was massive. The Lord certainly knew how to decorate. She had prayed for the souls of her mother and two brothers, but she couldn’t bring herself to pray for her father and she felt shamed. She’d pray again later and include him.

  “You’re alive one day and gone the next. That’s just the way of it. It seems to me one should grab happiness while they can. Would it be unseemly to watch the celebration? In my own way I’ve been grieving for my family since the day my father made me leave. I kept hoping that my mother or brothers would let me know they still loved me through a look or a note even but they refused to look at me even when my father had gone hunting. It’s been hard and I foolishly kept waiting. The wait is over, but the hurt had changed to grief.”

  “It’ll be a long day, but the spring water valley is down there at the rock. I haven’t forgotten that you want a bath tonight, grá mo chroí.”

  “You might as well slow down so I can get off.”

  “Be careful.”

  She smiled. “I will.” She jumped as soon as the wagon came to a crawl. She took one last look at the area where her family was buried. Then she turned and looked in front of her, toward the future. She needed tell Declan how very much she loved him.

  She walked alone this time only because she wanted to. She wanted to remember how her family used to be. She said goodbye to each of them and prayed again for their souls to be welcomed in heaven. They’d live in her heart forever. They hadn’t always been so cold.

  Maybe she wasn’t hurting as she should or maybe she’d been hurting for too long. She needed to concentrate on Declan now, on their marriage. Just thinking about him had her smiling.

  There was supposed to be water at the base of Independence Rock. She swore she could smell the water well before she saw it. Imagine how many people had come to the same spot. She’d heard hundreds of names and initials had been carved in the rock, and she wanted to see some of them. The rock itself was huge. From a distance, she felt it looked turtle shaped, but as they grew closer, it was impossible to see the whole thing. Was it possible that she could feel anticipation in the air? Everyone around her seemed relieved to get out of the arid sand.

  Oscar Randolf, one scout she’d not known well, was riding down the line. She heard him tell everyone to get into their wagons and for the drivers to have a firm hand on the lines. The livestock might try to bolt to the Sweetwater River, and someone could get hurt.

  The wagons all slowed, and she hurried and caught up with Declan. He smiled as he gave her his hand and helped her up.

  “I will have a tight rein on these oxen. I have a feeling a few of the foolish people won’t be holding on hard enough and there will be chaos. Hold on to the wagon seat.”

  “It sounds like a good plan. I can’t wait to get clean. I do believe some of the sand has become part of my skin. I need a good scrubbing.”

  “Let me know if you need help… with the scrubbing part.” He grinned at her.

  “You are shameless, Declan Leary. But shameless or not, you’re a blessing from God so I’ll just have to teach you how to be normal.” She laughed.

  “Normal? What is normal? Would that be normal for an American or for an Irishman? You do know that the Irish are a race and our ancestors were kings and great warriors.”

  “Mine were great worriers.”

  Declan laughed. “I like us this way, comfortable with each other. I’d take your hand, but I’m holding the lines.”

  “And kiss me?” she asked shyly, sending him a sidelong glance, unable to hide the smile teasing her lips.

  “Well now, I’d say — Hang on!” He gripped the reins tighter.

  All around them, people broke from the line and their wagons were going willy-nilly, far too fast with drivers no longer in control.

  “They didn’t hold tight enough,” she yelled above the loud noise of the animals. She held on so tight to the seat and the wagon side her fingers went numb. She could only hope they didn’t get knocked over. Soon enough, they were one of the few left who had control of their livestock.

  “Oh, no! Look, a wagon tipped into the river!”

  Declan nodded and let the oxen begin a slow walk to the river. “Looks like it’s that Eddie’s wagon that went into the water.”

  “Isn’t he the one who treated Cora so horribly? I don’t feel too sorry for him then.”

  Declan nodded. “I believe in second chances, but some people want third and fourth chances. I have a feeling God’s hand nudged him in.”

  Her breath caught at his matter-of-fact comment. “Could be. Look, the water is supposed to be clear!” She stared at the murky muddy mess where animals that had broken free were milling about and filling up on water and made a face. Then she pointed in the other direction. “At least it is upstream.”

  “That’s where I’m heading. The water is pretty stirred up where the rest of them raced to.” Silence fell for a moment as he steered the wagon toward the river. Then he said almost shyly, “There’ll be a dance tonight. I was wondering if you’d do me the honor of allowing me to escort you to it.”

  Happiness blossomed in her heart. “I’d be delighted. You know I’m not much of a dancer. But you are.”

  “Darlin, I’m Irish. We’re born dancing. And I�
��ll be happy to show you.” They came to a stop. “Stay on the wagon.” He tied off the brake and jumped down then unyoked the anxious oxen and led them to the water.

  Pride welled up in her chest. He was a fine husband.

  * * *

  She had been saving the new dress that had been given to her when she’d nearly drowned, and as soon as she put the aqua colored dress on she felt pretty. It was a wonderful sensation. But it was more than the dress. Her husband had her thinking she might not be as plain as she had thought.

  It had been a full day. Declan helped her climb Independence Rock, and they carved their initials in it. Then she took her long desired bath and scrubbed herself while Declan made sure no one peeked in at her. Now she was dressed for the dance. After taking a deep breath, she went to the back of the wagon and Declan was just outside in new clothes awaiting her. He reached up for her and she leaned into him and wrapped her arms around his neck.

  As he set her down, she stole a kiss. She unwound her arms, but he pulled her closer and kissed her back.

  “You’re so beautiful.”

  Her face heated. “It’s the dress.”

  “Now I’m not one to be disagreeing with my wife, but a mere dress wouldn’t make you beautiful inside and out.” His eyes twinkled with pure joy that was certainly echoed in her heart. “We’ll be meeting Zander and Heath at the dance. They have guard duty in a few hours.”

  Puzzled, she furrowed her brow. “Why haven’t you had guard duty?”

  “I was supposed to, but they offered to take longer turns so I could be with you. I’m not sure exactly how it happened but we’re set to live near each other again.” A grin spread across his face. “And no one had better say a thing about you in front of them. Heath already punched one drover when he said something impolite.”

  She smiled at him. “I don’t believe in violence, but maybe that one time.”

  “You’re an imp.” He offered her his arm. “Ready, Mrs. Leary?”

  She wrapped her hand around his strong bicep and nodded, too choked up by it all to speak. She gave him a light squeeze. He looked proud to have her on his arm and it amazed her he’d feel that way. Then again, he did want everyone to think they were happy, so they’d stop talking about them.

  “Is something worrying you?” He stopped and gazed deep into her eyes.

  “No. I’m just nervous.”

  He took her hand and led her into the crowd of dancers. “This is a nice slow one to start out with.”

  Somehow she didn’t know they’d be dancing so close to each other. She concentrated and when she had the steps down she glanced up and the look in his eye melted her heart. He held her close for the rest of the song.

  As the group of fiddles and the solitary harmonica started a more lively beat, he hung back a bit, though he nodded his head in rhythm. “This next one is pretty fast. Why don’t we watch first?” He led her to the edge of the dancing. “Will you take a walk with me?” The look on his face was serious.

  “Of course.” Her heart began to drum hard against her chest. She took his offered hand and they walked a while along the river.

  “It’s a beautiful evening, and I wanted to talk to you, alone.” He dropped her hand and took a blanket out from under a bush.

  She inhaled sharply as a wave of pleasure washed over her. He’d had this planned. He helped her to sit and then he sat close to her. “You don’t need to look doubtful.”

  “I don’t know what to think.”

  “That’s the problem. We came together in a very unconventional way. And we were forced to marry. I have to admit I wasn’t happy about it at the time. I’m a man who likes to make his own decisions.”

  Tears filled her eyes. It was kinder to know that he didn’t want her, truly it was. She’d have time to make other arrangements this way. That had been the deal she had offered in the first place, after all. He still loved Alana—hadn’t he told her as much?—and she didn’t blame him. Folks couldn’t just stop loving someone. Though she had thought…

  “My life has been filled with joy and heartbreak and then joy again. I never thought to feel this way,” he admitted.

  “Please stop. Our deal still holds. You won’t be responsible for me once we get to Oregon. You’re right, of course.”

  “Why am I right?” His voice was practically a whisper.

  “You were made for better than the likes of me. You love Alana, and I don’t fit. Heath and Zander might agree to live near you now, but they were so set against me that I’m afraid I’ll say the wrong thing and you’ll be out on your own again. You never planned on me and you’re right they forced you to marry me. I’m not afraid. God is always with me. He will protect me.”

  His jaw dropped. He pulled her closer and wiped away her tears with the pads of his thumbs. “You are my a mhuirnín, grá mo chroí. You are my darling, the love of my heart.”

  She lifted her gaze to his. “You say grá mo chroí to me all the time. Is it true? Am I the love of your heart?”

  “Yes, you are. I love you with my whole being. I love seeing your beautiful face in the morning and your sweet smiles through the day. On occasion, I see admiration in your eyes as though you find me pleasing as well. At night, I like to know that I can hold you in my arms and that you are mine. I look forward to a future with you. I thought you knew, but now I also see doubt in your eyes. I want to be sure you know that you are the breath I breathe, you are the light I see by, you are my willingness to keep going, and you are the excitement in my life. Most of all you are my greatest blessing from God, and it humbles me he entrusted someone so precious to my care.”

  “I love you too.” Her voice shook. “I’m not as well-expressed with words the way you are. But you make me feel worthy and joyful. I’ve never felt this way about anyone before, and I thank God that I have you.”

  “Would you do me the grand honor of making this marriage real?” There was so much love in his eyes.

  “Yes, oh yes.”

  “Good, hopefully when we turn in for the night. Though who knows if we’ll end up with privacy.”

  Her face heated. “I want us to have a family. Nothing would make me happier.”

  “Don’t you worry. That’s the plan. We can get a lot of land since we’re married. I imagine cattle and horses grazing on our land. We’ll check the soil and grow some crops. We’ll have a garden and by canning what we grow we’ll have food all winter. I bet there are berries for jam too.”

  “What about a house?” she asked.

  A smile played around his lips. “Your face is all aglow when we talk about the future. I want to make it big enough to hold everyone for holiday get-togethers. I want it bright and cheerful and a place where people want to be. A place where children can play while the adults relax. Best of all, there will be no rents to pay and no one can come and set us out. There will be no fear of nationwide hunger. I can speak Gaelic if I like and I can practice my religion without being afraid of soldiers storming us. I won’t have to see my friends die out in the road of starvation.” His voice broke and he drew a deep breath before he went on. “I’ll be considered a free man, in a free country. We were never free in Ireland. England thought they knew what was best for us and gave our land away to their peerage, leaving us to say yes sir and yes ma’am. They decided we were an inferior race. One day they will see how wrong they are. We’ve held on to our traditions and music and language despite it all being against the law. All of their rules strengthened us and we yearned more and more for what we used to have. It’s beautiful there, Luella and it near broke my heart to leave it behind. Men and women were being shipped off in convict ships for the crime of stealing an ear of corn to feed their babes.

  “It didn’t matter if you worked hard. There wasn’t any food. But you know what I think? I believe if they think they own my country then they had a responsibility to see that we were all fed. The government wanted to be part of everything else we did, but when we started dying off, where were they
? They ran a program to build roads, but they didn’t have jobs for everyone, and the weakest were given the jobs and they died right there on the road with a shovel in their hands because the mere pittance they were paid wasn’t enough to pay for food. The price was beyond most of our means. God help me, but it was as if they wanted us dead. They had no use for us except to serve them. It happened again and again and again.” He raised his chin. “But no more. Our children will laugh, learn, and work on land we own. I’ll be able to hunt for food and not be in fear of being hanged for poaching. There will be no need to steal to feed our babes.”

  A longing deep inside stirred as he mentioned feeding their babes. She had much to say herself, but she sensed he was not yet finished.

  “We’ve always been proud, but we weren’t always allowed to stand tall. I stand tall now as do my brother and Zander. There aren’t soldiers to beat us down at every turn. Our children will be free and for that, I am overjoyed. No one will be able to kick in our door and search our house or burn our house down. Best of all I will have you beside me, loving me and for that I am grateful.”

  Tears filled her eyes, spilled over, and still she let him talk, needing to hear him as much as he needed to say the words.

  “Our life will be one of love and wonder. And you will forever be a mhuirnín, grá mo chroí.”

  “You, my husband, are a brave and passionate man. God blessed me the day I got run over. Come teach me how to dance some more. It’s a grand evening.”

  He pulled her to him and kissed her. “I know you’ll be a fast learner.” He took her hand and entwined their fingers together and then led her back into the light.

  Thank you for reading Luella’s Longing. The journey of Harrison, Cora, Declan and Luella continues in book three. I’ve gotten comments about the book not being finished. They are not stand alone books. But I do understand the frustration. Amazon rewards writers who publish quickly. They show those books more and give them a nudge up. I hope it works. I’m trying to only allow two weeks between books. Please if you are so inclined leave a review. I can get better advertising quicker if I have reviews. I appreciate all of you who have taken the time to read my books.