Yep, thanks.
My brain told me that was a big fat fib. I ignored it and carried on typing my reply.
And thanks so much for the help with the car. Really appreciated. Make sure you bill me for everything.
I pondered whether to add a kiss to the end of the message as we both had been doing up until now, but I’d noticed his didn’t have one and so that probably meant I shouldn’t either, right? Bloody hell. Why was everything so complicated? Were there books with all the rules and etiquette in them about all this stuff? If not, there damn well should be!
The family that had come in a little earlier, having now chosen several items, were approaching the desk so I quickly just pressed send and began putting through their purchases. Their arrival was the first in a steady stream that continued until closing time, thankfully keeping me and my overactive mind otherwise occupied for the rest of the day.
The rest of the week followed in much the same manner. When I wasn’t in the shop serving, I was in the stock room boxing up orders, and getting them sent off or liaising with suppliers and discovering new ones. This latter aspect had been something my family had been trying to build on, keen to find other cottage industries and small businesses to support.
I found I enjoyed looking out for new and exciting products, and making contact with their producers. I’d even tentatively lined up a couple of trips abroad in the new year to go and see a few of the ones I’d been talking to. Obviously one of my brothers would have to take these as I’d have moved away again by then with the new job.
It was difficult to ignore the niggling feeling I had about how much this fact bothered me. Part of me was desperate to follow my discovery through, and I did love to travel. My brothers were already running close to maximum, and Mum and Dad had stepped back from travelling for business a few years ago, when Dad had his heart attack.
As we sat at the long dining table one night, talking about the potential new suppliers and their products, I could see the conflict in their eyes. Everyone was keen on growing the business more, but it was clear that it was getting to a point where they’d either have to keep it at a certain level or start looking into hiring people.
The Four Seasons shop had always been a family concern when it came to staffing, which made things easier. Discussions could be held over dinner, arguments never went too far, and most of all there was utter trust. They’d seen other companies eaten alive from within once they began to grow, and the wrong hire would make a pleasant working day into a stressful one full of people walking on eggshells. That was never a situation my family had wanted to get into but I could see them having to now consider the real possibility of employing someone outside of the family.
‘I could always take some holiday and do those trips before the season really got going,’ I suggested as mention was made of a wonderful new supplier I’d discovered in southern Italy.
Mum patted my hand then went back to daintily loading her fork. ‘I’m not sure you’ll be able to fit it all in, darling, but thank you so much for offering. We do appreciate it.’
‘I could. I’m sure,’ I persisted.
‘Lex, it’s not just that trip. There’s that one to Australia, and another in the Highlands that we need to plan for,’ Dan added.
‘No, I know,’ I said, pushing my food around my plate a bit. ‘I just thought I could help … a bit.’
Dad gave me a smile and a wink.
‘You could help out a lot if you actually committed to the business full time.’ My youngest brother, Joe, had always been the most blunt.
Feeling a little bit raw on the emotion front I had no hesitation in reading into his comment far and above what he probably meant. ‘What’s that supposed to mean?’ I snapped.
Joe looked at me, having just emptied a forkful of dinner into his mouth. ‘What I said,’ he mumbled through it.
‘Don’t speak with your mouth full, please,’ Mum admonished.
‘I’m no good at committing to anything. Is that what you’re getting at?’ I snapped.
Joe screwed up his face as he swallowed. ‘No. It wasn’t.’
‘Lexi. You’re reading too much into it. Now finish your dinner before it gets cold,’ Dad added from his end of the table.
‘Although, as you brought it up …’ Joe raised an eyebrow at me. Dan nudged him with his elbow and I gritted my teeth, willing myself not to burst into tears. I didn’t know what had happened to me since I got back. It was like the squishy side of me had finally rebelled and now decided to make up for all the times I’d stopped myself from crying, determined not to be “girly” or show any hint of what I had somehow twisted into a perception of weakness.
‘Don’t go blabbing about stuff you don’t understand, Joe.’
He snorted. ‘It’s not exactly rocket science, Lexi. You somehow manage to get a billionaire to go out with you –’
‘Joseph.’ Mum gave him a warning look.
‘What? I’m just saying. First a billionaire wants to marry you and you say no –’
‘Actually, I said yes,’ I pointed out, pedantically.
‘Yeah, but then you said no.’
‘It was complicated.’
‘Whatever. And then Cal asks you out – a bloke who, by the way, half the women in this village would trample your body to get to – and you dump him after one date!’
‘We didn’t have any dates, which technically means I did not “dump him”.’
Joe cocked an eyebrow. ‘Are you still seeing him?’
‘No.’
‘So you dumped him.’
‘No! It was a mutual decision,’ I said, shifting in my chair. At this statement, everyone at the table looked at me.
‘All right! Not exactly mutual but it’s … complicated.’
‘Everything seems to be complicated with you.’ Joe rolled his eyes at me.
‘Leave her alone, Joe,’ Dan said. ‘Sometimes things are complicated.’
I threw Dan a grateful glance and made my excuses to leave the table, telling Mum to give me a shout when she wanted a hand clearing up. She told me not to worry tonight and that Joe would be helping her. Joe sighed without looking up and I left the house.
A little while later, a knock on the door was followed by Dan’s voice.
‘Oi. Grouchy Pants, can we come in?’
‘If you must.’
Claire and Dan grinned as they entered the room holding coffee mugs. Apollo bounded up the steps behind them and steered his body past to get into the warmth as soon as possible.
‘I guess you can come in too,’ I said to him as he went straight to the radiator, turned around three times, and curled up on the dog bed I’d put there.
Dan and Claire took a seat and cosied up on the sofa. I gave Claire a glance under my lashes.. She’d been looking pale and tired ever since I got home and I’d made a comment about it to Dan but he’d assured me she was OK. Knowing that this man would move the moon for her if she asked him, I took some comfort from this, but it didn’t stop me feeling a little concerned. She was still helping out at the shop although more than once I’d taken over a task from her, under protestation, and sent her home. Swamped in a jumper that looked big enough to fit her husband, Claire snuggled into him as she caught my eye and smiled.
‘We just wanted to check you were OK,’ she said.
I flapped a hand. ‘Yeah, I’m fine. Takes more than Joe’s particular brand of bluntness to upset me.’
Usually.
‘You know he doesn’t mean it,’ Dan said, giving his coffee a slurp.
‘I think he means what he says. He was just towards the back of the queue when tact was being handed out,’ I said, rolling my eyes. ‘Honestly, I’m all right. And to be fair, he does have a point. You lot have all managed to find the right person without too much drama. Even Joe’s found someone prepared to put up with him,’ I teased. ‘So I’m not sure what that says about me.’
‘He just wants to see you happy. Just has a fun
ny way of showing it.’ Dan shrugged. ‘Besides, it’s not that people aren’t willing to put up with you, is it? So, don’t give me that.’
‘I don’t think my particular choices have helped. As far as Joe’s concerned, he could have had a sister married to an F1 driver and had free entry to races for life. And now with Cal … well, I know everyone’s very fond of him so hurting him like I apparently have was never going to go down well. I’m just hoping screaming hordes of women aren’t going to come storming into the shop to tar and feather me!’
Claire giggled and Dan smirked. ‘I should think they’re actually breathing a sigh of relief. So far as they’re concerned, Cal Martin is now back on the market again.’
I frowned at him. ‘He was never off the market.’
Dan tilted his head at me. ‘We all know he’s still very firmly taken. In his mind, anyway.’
Keeping my head turned away from them, I sat down next to Apollo and began slowly, rhythmically stroking his shiny, caramel fur, feeling my pulse calm with each pass. He gave a satisfied sigh and opened his eyes, checked that we were all still there, twitched his eyebrows a couple of times, and then drifted back off to sleep.
‘He’s not taken.’
‘Lex. I’ve never seen you happier than since you’ve been home, getting stuck into the shop – and getting to know Cal. Even with Marco. Don’t get me wrong. I like Marco, but there’s something different about you when you’re with Cal. And it’s good.’
‘All a bit late for that, unfortunately.’
‘It’s never too late,’ Claire’s quiet voice made me look up.
‘No, of course not,’ I replied hurriedly. ‘I didn’t mean with everything … I just meant with this. Me. Cal. That’s all.’ I’d never give up hope on these two finally having the child they so desperately wanted. It was a bond that had strengthened the tie between Dan and I, and forged a strong friendship between me and his wife.
‘I know what you meant, don’t worry.’ She laid her hand gently on my shoulder as I went back to stroking the dog. ‘But I’m not sure Cal’s quite as ready to give up on things as you are.’
I plopped back onto my bottom, leaving the dog snoring contentedly. ‘It’s not that I’m giving up on him.’
‘No. You’re giving up on yourself, which is almost worse.’
I gave her a look up through my lashes. ‘You know, I think I preferred it when you first started going out with Dan and would come here and not say two words.’
She grinned at me and for a moment, the tiredness went away, replaced by a radiance. ‘Very funny. But you’ve got a good point. It was scary to me coming into a big family like this, especially to someone who’d never had any brothers or sisters and didn’t have the best relationship with her parents either. You were already this tight family unit, and it was kind of terrifying to be launched into that. I worried that I’d feel the odd one out. That I wouldn’t get the in jokes, or might say the wrong thing.’
‘No. We tend to leave saying the wrong thing to Joe. He’s already so accomplished at it.’ Dan gave me a smirk.
‘Oh, don’t be mean. You said yourself – he’s just looking out for Lexi in his own way. But my point is that the thought of meeting everyone, learning how to be a part of a large family, was quite intimidating. I had moments of wondering whether I should break it off with Dan because, even though you were all so lovely and welcoming, it was difficult for me. That’s why I hardly ever spoke to start with. I’d be gripping Dan’s hand under the table so hard I’m surprised I didn’t break a finger.’
‘You did. I just never told you.’
Claire spun to face her husband and caught the gleam of the tease in his eyes. ‘Oh you!’ She laughed, batting him on the thigh.
‘Anyway, what I’m trying to say is that sometimes things are scary and you don’t know if they’re going to work out, but you do them anyway because the thought of not being with that person is far worse than anything else that could happen. I knew how important family is to Dan, and I was terrified I wouldn’t fit in, you wouldn’t like me, or a tonne of other possibilities I’d created in my mind. But I knew that somehow, we’d make it work. Whatever happened, we’d make it work. And we have. Even though we’ve had more challenges than we’d have liked, we still make it work because we know that together is where we are supposed to be.’
I sat for a moment and then launched myself at both of them, wrapping them in the biggest hug I could muster. ‘I love you both so much,’ I said, my words muffled by Dan’s shoulder, ‘but I’m not going to let you in again if you’re going to make me cry.’ The hug got tighter and Dan’s shoulder got a little damper.
‘Never give up on yourself, Lex,’ Claire whispered.
‘I’m not,’ I said, shaking my head against my brother’s arm, ‘I just don’t want to hurt them further down the line. And if it feels this awful after such a short time, what would it be like once I was completely in love with them both?’
‘Right. Because you’re not already …’
I pulled back and looked at Dan.
‘What?’
‘Lex. I held you when you were less than an hour old. I’ve been watching over you ever since and I know what makes you happy and what doesn’t. You once said that I didn’t seem excited about your wedding to Marco. It’s because I never saw the spark in you that I was looking for. I know what marriage and family means to you. I didn’t want you going into something that maybe wasn’t quite right for you.’
‘What spark? And how come you never said anything?’
‘The spark isn’t something you can explain. You just know when you see it. And I didn’t say anything directly, but believe me, I was keeping an eye on things.’
‘Right. Well I guess you were right,’ I sighed.
‘I didn’t want to be.’
‘I know. But do me a favour. If you see that elusive spark, whatever it is, give me a shout, won’t you?’
Dan stood and put a hand out to help Claire up, gathering their now empty mugs to take back to the main kitchen in the house.
‘I’ve already seen it, Lex. Everyone has.’
Chapter Fifteen
The doorbell tinkled as Cal entered the shop, stopping to shake off the light layer of snow that had settled on the charcoal wool of his coat. It had been over a week since I’d seen him and it felt like a year. He gave me a slightly awkward smile. I returned it whilst making a desperate attempt to stop my stomach doing very inappropriate backflips. Didn’t it know we were just friends?
‘Hi,’ he said, approaching the desk. My stomach did another massive flip at hearing his voice. So no, apparently, it hadn’t got the message.
‘Hello,’ I said, glancing across as the door rang again and a woman began trying to manoeuvre a trendy pram in.
‘Hang on a sec,’ I said, getting up to dash across to help her with the door.
Cal was already on it. When she was safely in, he headed back over towards me. God, he was gorgeous. Oh flippin’ heck. Now my brain was colluding with my stomach!
‘Thanks for that.’
‘No problem.’
A few moments’ silence settled across us. I risked a glance and my gaze bumped into his. A slightly crooked smile slid onto his face.
‘At least it’s not awkward or anything.’
‘No. Because that would be awful.’
His smile spread and a laugh grew from it, breaking the bubble of discomfort that threatened to surround us.
‘How is George?’
‘Good. It’s party central for him at the moment it seems. These kids have a much better social life than any of their parents!’
‘I’ve heard that.’
‘He’s looking forward to Christmas, of course.’
‘I bet.’
‘Although apparently our house isn’t Christmassy enough, I’m informed.’
I grinned. ‘Oh dear. Why’s that?’
‘Apparently it should be more like this shop.’
Laughing, I shook my head. ‘I’m pretty sure that would be a bit full on for your lovely house.’
‘Not according to my son. So, if you have a moment between everything, do you think you could pick out some stuff to make the place acceptable to a five-year-old? Whatever you think. I trust your taste.’
‘Famous last words.’
His laugh wrapped around me and I saw the woman with the pram smile to herself.
‘I’ve actually got a day off tomorrow so I was wondering if it would be OK to come over to the workshop and do some work on the car?’ I knew from Xander that Cal got into the workshop a little less often these days, so I was desperately hoping tomorrow would be a day he had a mile-high pile of paperwork to go through.
‘Of course. Like I said, any time.’
‘Thanks. I can put together a box of extra decorations for you and bring it over at the same time.’
‘That’d be great if you could.’
‘No problem.’
Cal checked the expensive watch on his wrist. ‘I’d better get off and fetch George.’
‘Say hello to him for me?’ I wasn’t sure if it was just the parties keeping George away from the shop or if there’d been some extra manoeuvring from his father. Either way, I’d missed seeing him this past week. I’d missed seeing both of them.
‘I will. He’s been grumping about not having seen you.’ The grey gaze settled on me for a moment and we both knew there was a whole lot more meaning behind the simple phrase than there sounded.
Unable to speak for a moment, I lowered my eyes and nodded in reply.
‘OK. I might see you tomorrow then.’
I steeled myself and looked back up. He was waiting, a question in his eyes. ‘Yes.’
The flicker of a smile played around his mouth before he, broke the gaze, and turned, his long legs striding purposefully across the shop. As he pulled the door behind him, he caught me watching. I wanted to look away but I couldn’t. Cal met my eyes for a moment, raised a hand in the briefest of waves, and then he was gone.
The Best Little Christmas Shop Page 17
