The Peppers and the Island of Invention

by Sian Pattenden

  “He must,” said Tabitha, with a serious look.

  Esmé and the Table sisters entered the auditorium.

  On stage Uncle Potty stood on a ladder with Monty on his shoulders, arms outstretched. The ladder wobbled first left, then right. It wobbled forward, then back.

  “Oooph!” said Monty.

  “What are you two doing?” Esmé called out. “Be careful! You’ll fall.”

  “We thought we’d have a look at the light fitting,” shouted Potty, now extending a long leg outward to balance them both on the wobbling ladder.

  “Please, come down now,” urged Esmé. “There won’t be a show if you’re both in hospital.”

  “Woooooargh!”

  Potty and Monty wobbled on the ladder for the last time and fell in a heap on the floor.

  “Oooofph!” exclaimed Monty. Esmé helped Potty up.

  “Are you all right?” she asked.

  Potty rubbed his shin. “I think so. My new cape is slightly padded, so it softened the fall.”

  “I’m fine too,” replied Monty who was sitting in a heap on the floor with the seaweed-strewn rubber ring still round his waist.

  “Oh, dear,” said Twinkle, gazing with concern at the magician and his assistant on whom all their hopes were riding.

  “Hm,” said Tabitha, looking first at them and then at the lights. “I hope Keith can fix this.”

  “I have a strong feeling that he will appear shortly,” said Twinkle, her nose twitching. “I am certain I can sense his aura, almost around the corner. Ooh, I feel a little faint.”

  She raised a hand to her forehead. Esmé recognised the glazed look in Twinkle’s eyes from her swoon in the gypsy caravan.

  “A chair!” squeaked Twinkle. Esmé ran to get one from backstage.

  As Twinkle sat down, she closed her eyes and murmured softly, “Keith Chalk, the spirits tell me that you are near…” Her raised hand quivered a little, then with a thud fell on to her lap.

  Tabitha opened up her skull ring and read the time from the miniature watch face inside. “Well, you did just call him.”

  A split second later Keith Chalk appeared through the main door.

  “Keith is here, everyone,” shouted Twinkle. “I knew it.”

  An excerpt from

  Dr Pompkins – Totality Magic

  TRICK: The Vanishing Stamp

  A little close-up magic. Start by exclaiming that you can make the Queen disappear! Of course, by that you mean the Queen’s head on a stamp, not the actual Queen…

  Place a stamp on a table and a glass tumbler on top of it. Pour water into the glass just over halfway and place a saucer over the glass.

  By the miracle of refraction, there is absolutely no way that the stamp can be seen through the glass tumbler.

  This is so effective because it is so simple.

  Stage Lighting

  It’s a good idea to use spotlights if you are performing on stage, but remember that strong lighting can change the appearance of things. Take care with shiny metal apparatus and glossy paint – it may reflect the light and make it difficult to see properly, even with just a desk lamp.

  Stage lighting can also affect the way you will look, as it drains the colour from your face. You will look like a ghost unless you wear theatrical make-up. Ask your drama teacher or a nice lady how to use it. Mrs Dr Pompkins does my make-up every time and I look healthy and flushed 24/7.

  In all totality,

  Dr Pompkins

  Potty brushed himself down as Keith walked on to the stage.

  “You must be Mr Chalk,” he said, holding out a long arm in greeting. “Pleased to meet you.”

  “Yes, I’m the fix-it man,” replied Keith, surveying Monty, the fish and the fallen ladder. “Anything you need fixing, just ask me. Looks like you might want help already…”

  Keith Chalk had brown curly hair, thick eyebrows and a straight nose. He wore paint-splattered overalls with pockets full of small spanners and wrenches. He held out a large hand and smiled as he was introduced to the Pepper twins.

  “The first thing is that there’s a small issue with the light bulbs,” Tabitha told him.

  Keith looked up at the lighting rig and scratched his head.

  “No problem,” he said, good-naturedly. “I can get this row of lights changed, but is this something that happened during rehearsal? And in which case, is it likely to happen again?”

  Potty nodded. “Yes, maybe.”

  “If so, we could always try and cover the bulbs in thin sheets of heatproof plastic,” said Keith, enthusiastic about problem solving. “That should deal with the real issue.”

  “That’s a great idea,” said Potty.

  “I love to think of the bigger picture,” said Keith. “You’re a magician then?”

  “How did you guess?”

  “The back of your cape has the words ‘The Potty Magician’ stitched into it.”

  Potty scratched his chin and looked with intrigue at Keith.

  “I wonder if you have any thoughts on spring-loaded objects?” asked Potty.

  “Always tricky. They can shoot off and end up anywhere, which can cause problems with your audience – and health and safety. You should really be looking at having more control.”

  Potty was impressed. Keith seemed to have something that Potty lacked – a practical take on adventurous ideas.

  “Are you a fan of magic?” asked Potty.

  “Oh, yes,” said Keith. “I love the skill, the showmanship. I like to work out how the magicians do each trick – it takes a lot of technical skill to make sure everything comes to life.”

  Potty nodded enthusiastically in agreement.

  “I’ve seen Pat Daniels perform live six times,” continued Keith. “I even managed to catch Trev and Peller once – they did that incredible trick which made it look like Trev was covered in a million dollars’ worth of banknotes and then was run over by an eighteen-wheel truck. For a start, the notes themselves can’t have been real…”

  “But I heard that they were,” said Potty. “The money was passed around the audience beforehand…”

  “They must have been switched at some point,” said Keith.

  “It is possible…” mused Potty.

  Esmé watched Potty and Keith talk with interest – they seemed to be getting on splendidly.

  “Then of course there’s the truck,” continued Keith eagerly, “which must have had at least one fake wheel, so that when it went over him—”

  “…he wasn’t injured! Of course,” shouted Potty, finishing Keith’s sentence. “And maybe the truck was weighted to one side, so as not to hurt poor Trev.”

  “That’s it,” said Keith. “You’re a—”

  “…genius!” finished Potty – and they both laughed.

  At once, Esmé realised that Potty’s act, as great as it was, had been missing something – a person who could make Potty’s ambitions a reality. She was sure that Keith Chalk was this person.

  “Uncle Potty,” said Esmé, tugging on his cape. “Why doesn’t Keith help you with this performance? He can make your tricks a hundred times…” Esmé was trying very hard not to say ‘less prone to disaster’, “…more workable. I read a book which said that many of the top magicians secretly employ inventors to make their act the most sensational – and completely unique.”

  Keith looked at Esmé. “But I’m just a fix-it man.”

  “I think Esmé’s right,” cried Potty. “You love magic, you try and work out how the tricks are done… and you seem to have the technical know-how to help create some incredible, never-before-seen tricks.”

  “Well, I do like to tinker with electricals and gadgets,” said Keith. “I’ve even made a few inventions of my own recently…”

  “Do say you’ll help us,” said Esmé.

  There was a long, tense pause as Keith looked lost in thought.

  “Why not,” he said at last. “It would be an honour.”

  Potty and Keith shook ha
nds; both were grinning widely.

  Suddenly Twinkle started to swoon again. “It’s terribly hot in here,” she said.

  “Oh, gracious, not again,” said Tabitha.

  “I just feel a little…” Twinkle fanned her face with her hand as she slumped back into her chair. “Ooh, the spirits!” Twinkle squeaked as she wrinkled her nose.

  “Oh, deary me, not another premonition?” Tabitha was concerned. “You’ve only just finished your last one…”

  “I can’t help it,” murmured Twinkle. “These apparitions just arrive… Might be important.”

  Twinkle’s head drooped to one side then the other. It looked as if she was watching a very slow game of tennis.

  “Hurghmumble,” said Twinkle. “Flurghlehoi…”

  “Anything bubbling up from the spirit world?” Tabitha asked her sister.

  Esmé watched in wonder as Twinkle was visited – yet again – by some sort of mystical presence. Esmé wondered what she might see this time.

  “I’ve got it.” Twinkle’s eyes opened and she shot up in her chair. “It’s a shark in a suit, and it’s coming to get us.”

  “A shark in a suit?” asked Tabitha. “Sharks don’t wear clothes.”

  “Oh, but this one does…” Twinkle Table said, and shivered.

  Just at that moment, a man entered the auditorium.

  An excerpt from

  Dr Pompkins – Totality Magic

  TRICK: Remove an Ice Cube with a Piece of String

  Compatriots and cavaliers, place before you a glass full of water and one ice cube. Give each of your friends a piece of string – medium length – and ask them to remove the ice cube with it.

  Watch as they will try to lasso the cube out – to no avail. Once they have given up, take the string, soak it in the water then double it into a loop at the centre.

  Rest this loop on top of the ice cube, pour some magic dust over both of them (the magic dust is actually salt, but your audience need not know this) and you will be able to lift the ice cube, which will have become frozen to the loop. The ice melts as you pour the salt on it, and refreezes when you stop.

  Now that is magic. Oh, no, it’s not – it’s science.

  Magic Hands

  An audience is always watching a magician’s hands – they are the tools of his trade – so it is very important to keep them looking good and working well.

  Finger exercises:

  The best way to improve your flexibility and coordination is by doing regular finger exercises like the ones described below:

  Close your fingers very tightly into your palms, then open them one by one, starting with the forefinger. Then try opening alternate fingers – second finger, little finger, forefinger, third finger and so on {see fig. 1}.

  Hold your hand up straight and separate your fingers as illustrated. Now change positions as quickly as you can {see fig. 2}.

  Touch the tip of your little finger with the tip of your forefinger – first at the back, then quickly at the front {see fig. 3}.

  In all totality,

  Dr Pompkins

  “Do my eyes deceive me or am I getting a sneak preview of the performance?” said the man. He had in his hand a poster for Potty’s magic show.

  The assembled crew turned towards the darkness.

  “You sneaky little ladies,” the man said, wagging a finger at the Table sisters. “You didn’t tell me you were planning another magic show. How wonderful!” He smiled round at everyone, although Esmé couldn’t help but notice that his smile looked a little forced. More like a grimace, she thought to herself.

  “And you must be the Potty Magician…”

  “Yes, that’s me,” said Potty, walking forwards, squinting into the shadowy auditorium.

  The man walked up to the stage and shook Potty’s hand, then waved uncomfortably at Esmé and Monty. He was not used to children.

  Twinkle and Tabitha rushed up to greet him.

  “How nice to see you, Mr Portobello,” said Tabitha, trying not to flinch as he kissed her cheek, then Twinkle’s.

  “Tea?” asked Twinkle.

  “No, thanks, Twinks,” said Mr Portobello, wiping his mouth with his sleeve.

  So this is the man who wanted to buy the Sea Spray, thought Esmé.

  Mr Portobello had greased-back hair and wore a shiny suit that was clearly one size too small for him. Esmé wondered what it was about him that made her feel uncomfortable, but she couldn’t quite put her finger on it. But the man was, for the Table sisters, all important, so Esmé kept smiling and decided to be as charming as she could.

  “Potty’s act is going to be fantastic, Mr Portobello,” Esmé said.

  “Please, call me Ronnie,” oozed Mr Portobello.

  “Keith’s been helping us out too and we’ve come up with some great ideas,” Esmé continued.

  “Keith… hmm, interesting,” Mr Portobello mused, stroking his chin while staring hard at Keith. He turned to Esmé. “And are you his delightful young assistant?”

  “No, I am, Mr Portobello,” said Monty, a little annoyed.

  “Wonderful!” replied the businessman, looking him up and down. “Nice swimming costume.”

  Mr Portobello walked up to the ladder and leant heavily upon it with a shiny elbow. “I love a magic show,” he said. “I’ve seen all the greats – Mark Daniels, Terry Cooper, Ray Preston. Love ’em all. And I can see you’re doing something really special here, in the great tradition of… um…”

  “Houdini? Ali Bongo? Dante the Magician – Sim Sala Bim?” asked Potty.

  “Bless you! Ha ha ha!” replied Mr Portobello, laughing loudly at his own joke. “Anyway, you’re doing a great job, kids. I know that this show is going to be incomprehensible!”

  Esmé wondered if he had meant to say ‘incredible’. Looking around, everyone else was still smiling at Mr Portobello, each with a slightly glazed look in their eyes.

  “And if the show is any good,” boomed the businessman, “I’m going to buy this theatre for lots of money, renovate it and turn it into a fantastic venue that the Queen and Pete Middleton can enjoy.”

  “We’re so glad you’re behind the show,” said Twinkle, simpering slightly. Esmé could tell how desperate she was to sell the theatre.

  “Oh, I am,” oozed Mr Portobello. “And now Keith has workshop space over at Crab Pie Island, where I live. He can see to your props there, when things are not exploding…”

  “That was just a minor glitch, Mr Portobello,” Keith reassured him. “I was having problems with the pincer… it’s all sorted now.”

  Esmé realised that must have been the first explosion they had heard this morning.

  “Good, good,” said Mr Portobello. “And I simply insist you use the space there to construct your gadgets for Potty. It’s the least I can do. That way I can keep an eye… I mean, help you,” said Mr Portobello, correcting himself quickly.

  But Esmé had heard the slip up, and didn’t like the sound of it. Why does Mr Portobello want to keep an eye on Keith? she wondered.

  Potty, however, seemed completely oblivious to the comment. “What a wonderful setting it must be, Keith,” he said. “Your workshop must be an idyll in an otherwise crazy world. To turn your dreams into reality… To create and create and create!”

  “You’ll have to visit some day,” said Mr Portobello. “See my collection of luxury boats.”

  “Yes, please,” said Monty, who had caught some of Potty’s enthusiasm.

  “And of course,” added Mr Portobello, “you can see some of Keith’s incomprehensible creations.”

  Just then a mobile phone rang.

  “Ah, David,” shouted Mr Portobello into his device. “Yes. Yes, I’ve heard. Oh, straight away. Hm. All right, see you in a minute.” He put the phone back in his pocket and sighed.

  “Right, I must be off,” he announced abruptly. “I have a meeting with my accountant. See you all soon.”

  And with that, Mr Portobello picked up his briefcase and walked
with short, bold strides out of the venue.

  An excerpt from

  Dr Pompkins – Totality Magic

  TRICK: Torn Paper

  Take a piece of A4 paper and cut it in half lengthways.

  Now make two small tears or cuts in it {see fig. 1}. Challenge a close chum or relative to take hold of the paper at each end and tear the strip into three pieces.

  Of course, my friend, this seems easy enough but whoever pulls the paper will find that only one side will tear.

  Incredible dismay could follow; be ready to dispense advice and guidance.

  Your Notebook

  You have no doubt started amassing a good quantity of tricks and ideas. You need a home for all of these and this must be a notebook. I use an Oddlerian Giltée Deluxe book, which is covered in a fine film of gold leaf and platinum strands – it has the words ‘Pompkins Forever’ embossed on every page. It did, however, cost £1,200 so you may want to go for something a little cheaper. It is useful at this stage in your career to write down your timings, what props you need and any special patter for each trick so you can map your act thoroughly. A lockable notebook can be good so prying magicians cannot peek at it. And maybe keep it in a top security storage building in Vienna.

  In all totality,

  Dr Pompkins

  As soon as Mr Portobello had left, Tabitha, Monty and Potty all started talking about him enthusiastically.

  “What a nice man,” said Tabitha.

  “A fine chap,” said Potty. “And so interested in the show.”

  “I can’t wait to see his yachts,” added Monty.

  However, Esmé saw that Twinkle seemed to be less keen than the others.