Love Me Again

by Jaci Burton

  "She's really out," Loretta said a few minutes later when she resurfaced. "She didn't even wake up when I changed her clothes."

  "Travel will do that to a kid."

  "I guess so. Thanks for being so understanding about tonight. And for the pizza and movie night. It's one of her favorite things to do."

  "Hey, it's one of my favorite things to do."

  Loretta laughed. "Tonight turned out better than I expected it to."

  Deacon arched a brow. "Oh, so you thought dinner alone with me was going to be shit, but pizza and a movie was okay?"

  "No, that's not what I meant. I had a rough day. You made it a good night despite all the roadblocks. And I appreciate it. Most guys would have bailed once Hazel showed up."

  He leveled a look at her. "I'm not most guys, Loretta."

  Her gaze never wavered. "No, you're not."

  He laid his water glass on the kitchen counter and wrapped his arm around her waist, tugging her against him. She came willingly, and he had to admit, this had been what he'd thought about ever since he drove over here tonight. Touching her, feeling her body next to his, and putting his mouth on hers.

  And when their lips met, it was a hot fusion of instantaneous passion, an explosion of need and want as Loretta's hands crept up and over his shoulders, her nails digging in.

  Oh, hell yeah. He wanted a lot more than this, more tangling of tongues and her winding her sweet legs around his. But he also knew her daughter was asleep a short distance away, and before they got carried away he ended the kiss, enjoying the way her teeth bit down on her bottom lip and the passion-infused glaze of her eyes.

  "So, next time," he said.

  She breathed in and let it out. "Yes. Next time. Actually, since Hazel is home early, I know Tom's parents will want to spend some time with her. He rarely takes her on his assigned weekends, so they often ask to visit with her instead. I'll let them know she's home early, and I'll find out if she wants to go over there. They have that great pool, and she loves to swim."

  He ran his fingertip over her shoulder, letting it slip under the material of her dress. Her breath caught. "Yeah, you do that. And then you let me know if you'll have some alone time this weekend."

  "I'll definitely do that."

  She walked him to the door.

  He stopped and circled her wrist with his fingers.

  "Loretta."

  "Yes?"

  "I'm sorry about yesterday. I was hot and in a bad mood and I took it out on you."

  She frowned. "Yester-- Oh. It's okay, Deacon. You're entitled to have a bad day."

  "I know that. But it doesn't give me the right to take that bad day out on you. So I apologize for being a dick."

  Her lips curved. "Apology accepted."

  He pulled her into his arms again, this time for an all-too-brief kiss. Because if he let it linger, he might not walk away. He swept his thumb over her bottom lip and, with great regret, took a step back.

  "See you later, Loretta."

  "Good night, Deacon."

  She lingered against the door while he got in his truck. Damn if she wasn't the most beautiful woman he'd ever laid eyes on.

  And damn if it wasn't the hardest thing he'd ever done to drive away tonight.

  Chapter 21

  * * *

  LORETTA DROPPED HAZEL off at her in-laws' on Friday night after she closed the bookstore, then went to deliver a few books to her parents. Her mom had wanted a book for herself and a couple for her dad, who had been ill this past week. Which meant the purpose of her stopover at her parents' was twofold, since she wanted to check in on her father. It wasn't like him to be sick.

  She knocked twice, then turned the knob. As was typical, her mother had unlocked the door for her, so she opened it and walked inside. Her dad was in his favorite recliner watching television. He barely looked her way, just nodding when she came in.

  Loretta went over and kissed her father on the cheek. "Hi, Dad. I hear you've been sick."

  "My diabetes is acting up again, and those docs can't seem to get my meds right."

  More likely it was her father's predilection for sweets coupled with stubbornness about sticking to a proper diet that was causing the problem, but she didn't intend to argue the point with him. "I'm sorry you're not feeling well."

  He shrugged. "I'll be fine soon enough. Always am."

  Her father was overweight, pigheaded as could be about his diet, and always thought he knew better than anyone in the medical profession. Loretta wanted to tell him to get off the recliner and go for a walk and start eating better, but she'd never argued with her father one day in her entire life. Today probably wasn't the day to start.

  "Hi, honey."

  She smiled as her mother entered the room. Her mother, on the other hand, still looked perky and youthful at fifty-five. She always wore a smile, which astounded Loretta, considering her mom had spent the majority of her adult life with the grumpiest man in the universe.

  "Hi, Mom." Loretta straightened to give her mother a hug. "How was your day?"

  "Oh, it was good. I went shopping with Lee and Peggy, then we had lunch. I stopped at the store to get a few things for dinner. Can you stay?"

  "Unfortunately, I can't tonight, but thank you for the invitation. Some other time. I brought the books you asked for. I laid them on the bench by the door."

  "Thank you."

  "Did you get that new James Patterson I wanted?" her father asked.

  "I did."

  "And the history book?"

  "Yes, Dad. I got that one, too."

  "Not the World War II one, but the other one."

  "Mom gave me the specific titles."

  "I hope you didn't screw it up like the last time."

  She looked over at her mother, who gave Loretta an apologetic smile. "I'm sure they're the right ones, Anthony."

  Her father's only response was a grunt.

  "Can you stay for a glass of iced tea?" her mother asked.

  Loretta nodded. "I'd love to."

  She followed her mother into the kitchen, realizing nothing had changed in here since she was a little girl. Same square white tile floors, same pale blue countertops, same oak cabinets.

  "Have you ever thought about renovating in here?" she asked as her mother handed her a glass of tea.

  Her mom took a seat next to her. "I thought about it, but your father says it's a waste of money. He said everything works, and making it pretty and modern is frivolous."

  Her father would say that. "But what do you want, Mom?"

  "I'm perfectly happy with the way things are."

  She'd wager her mother would like a fancy new kitchen, one with an island and more space, but God forbid her mother ever contradict anything her father said. That's the way things had always been, and likely the way they always would be.

  "And what are you doing this evening?" her mother asked.

  "I . . . have a date."

  Her mother's brows rose. "A date? So soon, Loretta? You're barely past your divorce."

  "Tom and I have been divorced over a year, Mom."

  "Yeah, and that was a big mistake," her father grumbled.

  Loretta wasn't surprised that, despite the television blaring in the living room, her father was listening in on their conversation.

  "It wasn't a mistake, Dad, and I told you why we got a divorce."

  His father half turned in his chair. "No, you got a divorce. Tom didn't want one."

  She rolled her eyes. "You know he cheated on me, right?"

  Her dad gave a half-assed grunt, then shrugged. "He asked you to forgive him."

  "He married her, Dad. He already had one foot out the door with the next wife. Come on, surely even you could see that."

  Her father didn't have a response to that, so in typical fashion, he grunted again and resumed watching television. Loretta turned to her mother. "Why is it always my fault?"

  Her mother patted her hand. "Your father sees things in black-and-white. Peopl
e get married, they stay married, no matter what."

  Frustration ate at her, making her stomach twinge. "Tom would have asked for the divorce eventually. At least this way I got a nice financial future for Hazel and a place for her and me to call home."

  "Of course you did, honey. You did what you thought was best. We just feel that if maybe you had waited, you and Tom could have worked things out."

  "That wasn't going to happen. Ever. My marriage to Tom was a mistake from the very beginning."

  She waited, hoping for something, anything from her mother. She knew her father would never say it, but she always held out hope that someday her mother would apologize for pushing her into a relationship--into a marriage--that had been a mistake from the start.

  Nothing. Her mother sipped her tea and talked about what she'd had for lunch earlier while she was out with her friends, while Loretta hid her disappointment. Again.

  "So who's the guy you're goin' out with tonight?" her father finally asked.

  Loretta could have made up a name, but she was just irritated enough to tell the truth. "Deacon Fox."

  Her dad straightened in his recliner. "What? Why the hell are you going out with him again?"

  "Because he asked me. And because we're seeing each other again."

  "Oh, honey, do you really think that's a good idea?" her mother asked.

  "I think it's a fine idea. I really like him. And he's somehow managed to forgive me for what I did all those years ago."

  Her dad made his way into the kitchen and gripped one of the kitchen chairs. "You shouldn't be seeing him. Not after what he did to you."

  Loretta shot a look of disbelief at her father. "What he did? Don't you mean what I did? I'm the one who dumped him, Dad. I'm the one who broke his heart and left him for another guy. I'm the one who has had to ask for his forgiveness."

  Her father's brows knit into an angry frown. "You don't owe him nothin'. You were kids. You changed your mind."

  She stood. "No, you changed my mind. You and Mom both. You berated and cajoled me and told me what was best for me until I had no choice but to make that decision. It wasn't what I wanted--it was what you wanted."

  Her mother stood and put her hands on Loretta's shoulders. "Loretta, we did what we thought was best for you at the time. How could we have known how it would turn out?"

  "You couldn't. Neither could I. And some of the fault lies with me. I could have said no, and I could have stood firm. I didn't, and that's on me."

  "Yeah, so don't go blaming us for your decision makin'," her father said. "But I still think Tom was the best choice for you. Look at where he is now. Some day you could have lived in the White House."

  As if that ever mattered to her. "I just wanted to be loved. My daughter needed a father who would be there for her, who would love her unconditionally no matter what. Things like that are important to a child. But you would probably never understand that, would you, Dad?"

  He advanced on her. "Don't you ever speak to me like that again."

  Loretta had had enough years of being the dutiful daughter, of saying and doing all the right things, of taking the blame for everything that had happened. "Or you'll do what? Make me marry another man I don't love?"

  Her mother got between her father and her. "Now, you two, don't fight."

  She felt the trembling in her mother's body and knew it was time to back down. "No, Mom, we won't fight. I'm leaving."

  She grabbed her purse and walked out the door, hating that she'd left things with her parents this way. But she realized that confrontation with her father had been a long time coming.

  As she got into her car, she turned on the engine and let the air-conditioning cool down her anger some. The old Loretta would go back inside and apologize.

  But she wasn't the old Loretta anymore, and sometimes with growth came pain. She respected her parents, but she wasn't going to continue to be a doormat any longer. Not to them. Not to anyone.

  Maybe she was finally growing up after all.

  Chapter 22

  * * *

  DEACON HAD BEEN looking forward to dinner and some alone time with Loretta. They hadn't run into each other in the past couple of days at work. He assumed she was spending time getting caught up with Hazel, and he'd been plenty busy putting walls up in the building, so he supposed they'd both been occupied doing other things.

  Now he was anxious to see her.

  He drove to the farm to find her pulling up at the same time he did.

  "I'm sorry," she said. "I was running errands. I had to drop off Hazel at my in-laws', then I had to stop by my parents' house. Let me dash inside and change."

  She looked flushed.

  "Hey, no hurry," he said as he followed her inside. "I'm actually early. We have plenty of time."

  "Okay, thanks. I won't be long."

  She left the room, and he looked around. No Otis. Maybe he was with Hazel, which was a good thing. He knew how much Hazel loved that dog, and if Loretta's in-laws allowed her to have him with her, then Deacon was happy about that.

  He went into the kitchen and fixed himself a glass of ice water. It was almost July, and the heat in June had been a ball-breaker. July was only going to be worse. He'd worked most of the day to get caught up on the schedule, and it had been hot as hell in that building. He downed the water in a few long swallows, then tucked the glass into the dishwasher. He stepped out the back door and took a turn around the corner.

  He heard the clucking of the chickens right away and smiled. Hazel was probably thrilled about that.

  Loretta's garden was doing well, though there were a few bare spots. It looked like it could use some water. He assumed Loretta was busy getting herself and Hazel out the door in the mornings, so she probably didn't always have time to water the plants. He grabbed the garden hose and sprinkled some water over her vegetables, then wound the hose back up, went inside, and washed his hands.

  "I'm sorry I didn't mention it before, but you look amazing."

  He had grabbed a paper towel to dry his hands, but turned at the sound of Loretta's voice.

  He was wearing black pants and a white button-down shirt. He was average. Loretta, on the other hand, was the one who looked amazing. A black dress clung to her curves, and her red high heels made her legs look incredible. The dress showcased the swell of her breasts, and it was all he could do not to suggest another night in for pizza.

  Pizza and sex--and not in that order.

  But he'd asked her to go out to dinner, and that's what they were going to do. He walked over to her and nuzzled the side of her neck. "You look sexy. You smell even sexier."

  She made a sound in the back of her throat that made his dick hard. "Thank you. Now step away before my dress falls off, because I'm hungry."

  He laughed and took a step back. "We could have pizza again."

  She spread her hands across his shirt, lifting her gaze to his. "I do like pizza, but not tonight, buddy. Tonight we're going out. I'm having wine. I need to shake off this day."

  "Sounds good. Let's go."

  They took her car, but Loretta asked him to drive, which was fine with him.

  "I noticed you got some chickens."

  "Yes. I wanted to cheer up Hazel after that disappointing week with her father, so we got some hens and a rooster. She's ecstatic."

  "I'll bet she is. Oh, and I watered your vegetable garden while you were changing clothes."

  She looked over at him. "You did? Thank you. I meant to get to that today, but it was . . . let's just say it was that kind of day."

  "You wanna tell me about it?"

  "Maybe, once I have a glass of wine in my hand."

  He wondered what had happened, but he didn't want to press her. He figured if she wanted to talk about it, she would.

  They ended up at the French Hen. He'd wanted to take her someplace nice, since all their meals had either been ones she had cooked or of the take-out variety.

  He got out of the car and came around
to open her door and was rewarded with a nice peek at her gorgeous legs as she slid out.

  "I don't believe I've ever eaten here," she said.

  He took her hand. "Neither have I, but I looked it up online and it's been here since the eighties. It's gotten decent reviews, so I thought we'd give it a try."

  They went inside and he gave his name to the woman at the front. They were seated right away. The decor was nice. Just enough of a dark ambience to be romantic, but not so dark like some restaurants where you needed a flashlight to read the menu. The restaurant had an authentic French feel, a little on the rustic side, but still elegant. They ended up seated at the back, somewhere private. He liked that. Their waitress brought them menus and a wine list. Deacon handed the wine list over to Loretta and let her choose.

  "How do you feel about a sauvignon blanc?" she asked.

  "I feel like I'll drink whatever you're in the mood for."

  She smiled at that, and when the waitress came back they ordered a bottle, which was served nicely chilled and pretty fast.

  "Appetizer?" he asked.

  "That sounds good."

  They ended up ordering the fried oysters along with their dinner. Deacon decided to have the duck breast, and Loretta chose the trout.

  She leaned back and took several sips from her wineglass, and he noticed her sighing. The wine, at least, was good, so he hoped it would put her in a mellow mood.

  "Bad day?"

  "Work was busy. Hazel was looking forward to seeing her grandparents, and they her, so it was nice to be able to drop her off for the weekend there. And then I went by to see my parents to deliver some books and because my father hasn't been feeling well."

  Deacon frowned. "Nothing serious, I hope."

  She waved her hand. "He's okay. But then we got into an argument."

  "I'm sorry. Do you want to talk about it?"

  "Not really. They're not going to change, and I have, so we're at odds. No problems are going to be solved there."

  He took her hand. "I'm good at listening, even if I can't fix your problems."

  "Thank you. But trust me, you do not want to hear about this particular argument."

  Which meant it was either about her ex or about him. "I'm pretty tough, Loretta, and if it's about me, it's not the first time I've heard it, so you aren't going to hurt my feelings."

  She inhaled and let it out, then took another swallow of wine. "It's like they don't trust me to know my own mind or how I feel. Or what's best for Hazel and me. I made a decision--the right one--and they can't seem to understand that."