Love Me Again

by Jaci Burton

  One hundred and two. Not ridiculously high, but with the consistent stomach pains and vomiting, she was starting to get worried.

  "Would you stay here with her while I call her pediatrician?"

  Deacon nodded. "Yeah."

  "I'm going to call Dr. Hansen, Hazel. I'll be right back."

  She found her phone in her purse and saw that the time was five in the morning.

  Sorry, Doc.

  She dialed the number to the doctor's office. She got his service and said it was urgent, hung up, and waited. About ten minutes later Dr. Hansen called. She told him what was going on with Hazel.

  "There aren't any current flu bugs going around, Loretta. It might be a stomach infection, but it could also be appendicitis."

  Oh, God. She hadn't thought of that.

  "You should take her to the ER and have her checked out."

  "I'll do that. Thanks, Doc."

  Her anxiety level climbing by the second, she hung up and hurried back into the bathroom. Her heart squeezed as she saw Hazel sound asleep against Deacon's chest. He was on the floor, leaning against the wall. He was a big guy, so he took up a lot of space in that bathroom. He had to be so uncomfortable.

  She wanted to cry at the picture the two of them made, Hazel's small hands clutching Deacon's T-shirt, his arm wrapped around her daughter as if the mere action could protect her from harm.

  God, she was in love with him. Had always been in love with him. She would always be in love with him.

  And this was the absolute worst time for that realization.

  "Doc thinks it might be appendicitis and I should run her in to the ER for an evaluation."

  With seemingly no effort at all, Deacon pushed off the wall with Hazel in his arms and stood. "Let's go."

  "You don't have to go with me."

  He cocked his head to the side as if there was no further discussion to have. "I said, let's go. Grab what you need for her and for yourself. I'll drive your car."

  She nodded, feeling more relief than she had a right to. "Okay."

  Loretta packed a bag with a change of clothes for Hazel and for herself, just in case. She threw in Hazel's favorite blanket while Deacon let Otis outside briefly and made sure he had food and water in the house while they were gone. Then Loretta cleaned up Hazel and changed her into fresh clothes. When they were ready, Deacon carried her to the car.

  Loretta sat in the backseat with Hazel, her daughter cradled against her as they drove to the hospital. Fortunately, Hazel slept the entire way. Deacon let them out in front while he went to park the car.

  She made her way into the emergency room and started to fill out the necessary paperwork at the front desk. When Deacon arrived, he took Hazel while she finished with the forms.

  Fortunately, they weren't extremely busy, and it was obvious Hazel was in a lot of pain, so they took her into an exam room right away. A nurse came in to get Hazel situated on the bed and took her vital signs.

  "A doctor will be right in," the nurse said with a sweet smile.

  "Thanks."

  Hazel rolled over onto her side and pulled her knees up to her chest. "My stomach hurts."

  Loretta smoothed her hand over Hazel's hair. "I know, baby. The doctor will be here soon."

  Within ten minutes the door opened and the doctor came in, followed by the nurse who'd been in earlier.

  Deacon stood. "Hey, Jeff."

  The doctor, a tall, good-looking guy who wore dark glasses, smiled at Deacon. "Hi, Deacon. What's going on?"

  "Loretta's daughter, Hazel, is pretty sick."

  The doctor walked over to Loretta with his hand extended. "I'm Jeff Armstrong."

  Loretta shook his hand. "Loretta Simmons. This is Hazel, my daughter."

  Dr. Armstrong turned a thousand-watt smile on Hazel. "Hi, Hazel. I'm Dr. Jeff. How are you feeling?"

  "My stomach hurts, Dr. Jeff. Really bad."

  "So I've heard. Do you mind if I check it out?"

  "Okay."

  The doctor washed his hands and examined Hazel. When he pressed on her lower stomach, she cried out. Loretta winced, especially when he kept pressing on different parts of her stomach.

  "Let's order an ultrasound," Dr. Jeff said to the nurse. "And a full blood workup."

  The nurse nodded and left the room. Dr. Jeff turned to them. "We'll run some tests, and then we'll know more."

  "What do you think it is?" Loretta asked.

  Jeff offered her a wry smile. "I don't like to guess. It won't take long on the tests, and I promise you we'll have something more definitive shortly. You hang in there."

  "Okay."

  "I'll be back in as soon as we have the results." Dr. Jeff turned to Hazel, picked up the television remote, and handed it to her. "You get to choose what to watch. You're in charge."

  She offered up a pained smile. "Okay, Dr. Jeff."

  He had no more disappeared than someone came in to take blood. Fortunately, Hazel had had blood drawn before and she wasn't afraid. In fact, she always liked to watch them put the needle in and draw the blood. Loretta was grateful her daughter was momentarily distracted by the blood draw.

  "That is so cool," Deacon said, nodding his head as the technician finished up.

  "That's my blood." Hazel managed a smile.

  "You're tough, ya know," Deacon said, grinning at her after the tech left. "Some kids are big sissies about needles."

  "Not me. I can handle it."

  "You sure can. If you weren't so sick, I'd give you a huge high five."

  Hazel giggled, and it was the sweetest sound Loretta had heard in the past several days.

  After that, a tech arrived with equipment to do an ultrasound, followed almost immediately by Dr. Jeff. They all hovered around the screen.

  Loretta held her breath.

  "Looks like her appendix is severely inflamed. We'll verify with the blood work, but I imagine her white blood cell count will be elevated."

  "Which means what?" Loretta asked.

  Jeff straightened and looked at her. "The appendix will need to come out. The last thing we want is for it to rupture."

  Deacon came over and put his arm around her.

  "Okay. Of course."

  "I get to have surgery?" Hazel asked.

  Dr. Jeff looked at her. "You might."

  Hazel grinned. "That is so cool. Will I have a scar?"

  Jeff laughed. "Maybe a tiny one."

  "Awesome."

  Leave it to her daughter to get excited at the prospect of having surgery.

  As Dr. Jeff suspected, Hazel's white blood cell count was very high, so he turned them over to the surgeon, Dr. Hannah Alder, a very nice woman who wore her gray hair in a bob and had a calm, confident demeanor that immediately set Loretta at ease. Dr. Alder took her time explaining the procedure to them.

  "It's very simple and straightforward and won't take a lot of time," Dr. Alder told them. "And the lovely Miss Hazel here should be out kicking soccer balls again within a week."

  "And my stomach won't hurt anymore?" Hazel asked.

  Dr. Alder laid her hand over Hazel's. "You'll feel a little pain where the incision is after surgery. It won't last long. But the way you're feeling right now? That'll be gone."

  "Good. Because I feel lousy right now."

  Dr. Alder gave Hazel a smile. "I know you do, honey. We're going to make that all go away."

  Loretta felt a lot better after talking to Dr. Alder. They arranged for the surgery, which would be outpatient, so if all went well Hazel would be able to go home later in the day. Once everything was organized, Loretta stepped outside and called Tom to let him know what was going on.

  "Oh, the poor baby. Is she okay?" Tom asked.

  "She's hurting pretty badly. But you know how she is. She's stoic about it. And excited about the prospect of having a scar."

  Tom laughed. "She would be. I have a campaign breakfast address this morning at ten. I'll get on a flight and be there right after."

  "Thanks.
She'll be so happy to know you're coming."

  She hung up and smiled. Her ex might be a class-A douchebag, but she also knew that deep down he loved his daughter.

  After that she called her parents and Tom's parents, who all said they'd come up to the hospital as soon as possible so they could be there for Hazel. She asked Tom's parents to stop at the house to check on Otis, since she knew her parents wouldn't be too keen on the idea. They said they would.

  Family. Sometimes they weren't the best, but in a crisis, she knew she could count on them.

  She went back to the room. They were just getting ready to take Hazel up to the surgical floor, so she followed her up and then texted Tom, his parents, and her own to let them know where they could find them.

  Several people came in and out, checking Hazel's vitals, drawing even more blood, and Loretta had to sign some forms. They told her it would be about an hour before the surgery.

  "I'm going to run home and take a quick shower and change clothes," Deacon said. "That way I can be back here before Hazel goes into surgery."

  Loretta pulled Deacon aside while simultaneously keeping an eye on Hazel, who was watching television. "You don't have to be here, you know. I'm sure you have a lot to do, and my parents and Tom's parents are coming."

  He gave her a look, almost an angry one. "I'm coming back. I want to be here. Unless you don't want me here."

  She reached out and laid her hand on his forearm, trying to draw in the strength she felt there. "I want you here. I just don't want you to feel obligated."

  "I have never once felt obligated to you or to Hazel, Loretta. I'm here because I want to be." He looked over at Hazel, and for a brief second she caught the look of hopelessness on his face that she felt inside. "I . . . need to be here for her."

  The depth of the feelings he'd developed for her daughter hit her powerfully, and that swell of love she felt for him grew even more.

  "Of course." She raised up and brushed her lips across his. "Hurry back."

  He nodded. "I will."

  He went over and whispered something to Hazel, and it made her giggle, then wince.

  He kissed her forehead, then winked at Loretta and left.

  Loretta took a seat in the chair next to Hazel. "What did he say?"

  "That Otis won't be able to plop into my lap after my surgery because his butt is too big and it'll hurt my belly."

  Loretta laughed. "That's true. We'll have to keep an eye on him for a few days and make sure he's careful with you, won't we?"

  "Yup."

  They watched television for a few minutes together.

  "Mama?"

  Loretta looked over at Hazel. "Yes?"

  "Have you ever had surgery?"

  "No, I haven't. Not unless giving birth to you counts as surgery, which it doesn't."

  "What's giving birth like?"

  Her lips curved. "Well, it's no picnic. It hurts like crazy. But look what I got out of the experience--you."

  "All I'm getting out of this is a swollen 'pendix."

  "Oh, I don't know. Everyone will fuss over you, and you'll probably get ice cream, and maybe presents."

  Her eyes widened. "You think so?"

  "Probably."

  Hazel turned back to the television. "Cool."

  Loretta smiled, then clasped her hand over Hazel's and silently said a small prayer.

  Everything was going to be all right very soon.

  Chapter 29

  * * *

  DEACON HAD NEVER been the type to let anything or anyone scare him. He was made of stronger stuff.

  But one sick little girl had almost brought him to his knees.

  Seeing Hazel on the bathroom floor, weak and tired and staring up at him with her sad blue eyes, had torn his heart out. He couldn't make her feel better, and that had made him feel useless. He'd hated it. All he wanted to do was hold her and comfort her and ease her pain.

  Loving a kid was hard, man.

  He hurried home, trying his best to stay just enough over the speed limit to not get a ticket. He took the fastest shower ever for him, threw on clean clothes, then dashed back to the hospital. On his way he called Reid, because he'd planned to be at the job site this morning to work, and that just wasn't gonna happen. Reid told him not to worry, that he'd get one of their foremen to pick up the slack over at the Harden building.

  Deacon was relieved about that. At least he didn't have to think about work today.

  After he parked he went inside and up to Hazel's room. Fortunately, he got there before they took her to surgery. She was sitting up in bed, talking to Loretta's parents.

  There was also another older couple there, who had to be Tom's parents. When Loretta spotted him, she came over.

  "You made it. The nurse was here a few minutes ago and said they'll be back shortly to take her into surgery."

  "Okay."

  "She was asking if you were coming back. She wants to see you."

  "I don't want to get in the way if her grandparents are there."

  Loretta looped her arm through his. "Nonsense. Come on. She's been asking for you."

  He walked in and immediately saw the disapproving looks from Anthony and Gwen Black.

  Nothing he wasn't already used to. He moved in toward the bed and saw Hazel smile at him.

  "Hi, Deacon."

  He sat on the edge of her bed. "Hi, tough kid. How are you doin'?"

  "They gave me medicine that makes me sleepy, but my stomach doesn't hurt anymore."

  "Good." He picked up her hand. "And soon you'll get to take a nap, and then they'll get rid of that rotten appendix."

  "Yeah. I wonder if they'll let me see it. Maybe I can take it home with me and put it on my bookshelf."

  "Gross, Hazel," Loretta said. "We are not bringing it home with us."

  She wrinkled her nose. "Then maybe they'll take a picture of it for me."

  Deacon laughed. "You could ask the doc. I'll bet she would."

  The door opened and the techs came in, so he leaned in and kissed her forehead. "See you soon, sweetheart."

  "Okay."

  He stepped out of the way so her grandparents could give her a kiss. Then Loretta kissed her.

  "I love you."

  "Love you, too, Mama."

  Loretta stayed with her while they wheeled her to the operating room. Which meant Deacon was alone with Loretta's and Tom's parents.

  "So, Deacon," Anthony said. "How have you been?"

  "Fine. And you?"

  "Just fine. So you and Loretta are seeing each other again."

  It didn't surprise him at all that Anthony Black would take this totally awkward and inappropriate moment to bring up his relationship with Loretta. "Yes, we are."

  "I see."

  And that was the last he said to Deacon. Which suited him just fine.

  "Tom said he's flying in soon," Kelly Simmons said.

  Deacon nodded. "Loretta told me. Hazel will be really happy to see him."

  He'd known Tom in high school, and while they hadn't been close friends, or friends at all, really, he'd had no beef with the guy. Tom's relationship with Loretta now was none of his business.

  All he cared about was Hazel coming through the surgery and being all right. Family politics and parents and ex-husbands weren't in his sights at the moment.

  "If you'll all excuse me for a minute." He stepped out of the room, needing to take a walk to gather his thoughts. He wandered the halls until he got to a waiting area. There, he took a seat, clasped his hands, and bowed his head.

  He wasn't a terribly religious person. His parents had taken him to church every Sunday as a kid, but he'd more or less fallen off the wagon as an adult. He didn't think God would take that personally. So he took a few minutes of silent prayer to ask God to watch over Hazel.

  Loretta found Deacon with his hands clasped tightly together and his head bent, his eyes closed as if he were deep in thought. Or maybe in prayer.

  It touched her heart deeply to thin
k that maybe he was sending up a prayer for her daughter. She sat next to him and laid her hand over his and offered up her own prayers of hope.

  He looked over at her. "How are you doing?"

  "I'm fine. Dr. Alder said it's going to be an easy surgery and I shouldn't worry."

  "But you're going to worry anyway."

  "Yes. She's my baby and they're cutting her open. How could I not worry?"

  He put an arm around her and kissed the top of her head. "She really will be fine. I know she will. She's strong and healthy, and I've never known a kid as tough as she is."

  Loretta's lips curved. "She is tough."

  "Gets that from you."

  Loretta laughed. "Hardly."

  He leaned back and gave her a look. "You don't think you're tough?"

  "Not at all."

  "Look at what you've done with your life, Loretta. You stepped away from a situation you didn't think was good for you or for Hazel. You're raising a daughter by yourself. You own your own business; you bought a farm. That's tough, and a lot of women couldn't do it."

  She shrugged. "I had the financial means to do it. That made it easy."

  "Bullshit."

  Her eyes widened.

  "Lot of women in similar situations also have the financial means to separate themselves from bad circumstances, but lack the courage. That's what you had, Loretta. Courage. You made the leap, and I'm sure it was scary as hell to do it. But you did it anyway, for the good of your daughter. So never say you're not tough, because you are."

  She'd never looked at it from that perspective before.

  "Thank you."

  "You're welcome."

  "Oh, I came to find you to tell you there's a family waiting area. If you'd like to join us."

  "I think I'll pass. You go ahead, though."

  She frowned. "Why not?"

  "I think your parents like me even less now than they did when we were teens. The last thing you all need is more tension while you're waiting to hear about Hazel."

  Loretta's brows knit into a tight frown. "What did they say to you?"

  "Not much. But trust me, the disapproval over our relationship is still there."

  "I'll talk to them."

  "No, you won't. I'm an adult, Loretta. I can handle their animosity just fine. Now is not the time for you to play mediator between your parents and me. Just leave it alone."

  She stared at him, not knowing what to do. She didn't like that her parents hadn't gotten past their dislike of Deacon, which had always been completely unwarranted. It irritated her. But she understood Deacon not wanting to upset the family, especially right now.

  "Okay. I'll leave it alone. But only if you come sit with me in the waiting area. I'd really like you to be there. It'll make me feel better while I'm waiting."