A Tender Touch: A Donnelley Brother's Novel (Logan Point Book 4)

by Carbonneau, Alannah

  When I paused, Luke waited silently for me to continue.

  “I wanted to do that - with my life.” I looked up to meet his eyes. “I did, but I have another four years at a Equine College and then if I want to be completely certified, I’ll have one more year after that. That’s a minimum eight years of schooling, probably nine, because knowing me, I’ll take the extra year too.”

  “Are you reconsidering what you wanted to do with your life?” He asked slowly, cautiously.

  I nodded, feeling tears burn in the back of my eyes. “Not because I don’t want to work with horses, but because I don’t want to waste nine years of my life in school. I suppose I didn’t realize how short life is until I’d worked through four years of it without enjoying it at all.”

  For a moment, he was silent. And then he spoke. “Do you like what you do here?”

  I sighed. “I love what I do here, Luke. But this isn’t a practical job.”

  “How isn’t it?”

  I straightened, feeling suddenly irate. I felt hopeful and hopeless - and that was a debilitating kind of confusing. “Because it isn’t!”

  “I’m telling you it is.” He replied sternly. “The job is yours for as long as you want it.” His eyes pinned onto mine. “I know you won’t make buckets of money, but you’ll make a decent living. You’ll be able to pay your school loans over time and you’ll be able to support yourself.”

  I whispered. “Without a man?” I held his eyes. “Will I be able to support myself without a man?”

  He tensed. “If that’s what you want from your life, then yeah, you’ll be able to support yourself without help from a man, or anyone else. But Ember, that isn’t living. Caging yourself away from possibility isn’t living.” He sat back once again and I watched his eyes lift to look up at the heavens. “I’ll do everything I can to help you find what you want from life and I won’t ask for anything in return. But I’m telling you that I’m hoping one day, you’ll trust me enough to let me in.”

  The tears I felt burning the backs of my eyes surfaced to roll down my cheeks. In the silence, I cried. I didn’t make a sound, because I didn’t want him to see me this way - so weak. When he lifted his head and opened his eyes to find my glistening tears, his breath caught and he moved across the tub so quick to gather me into his arms, that I didn’t have a hope in Hell - or Heaven of stopping him.

  There was no warning at all for the feel of his hand gripping my waist, before his other slid beneath my legs. Then, I was lifted from the seat and planted firmly in his lap. For the second time in my life, I took comfort from a man - and both times, the man I’d found comfort in was Luke. As he held me, I didn’t think of all the ways this made me weak. I didn’t take pause to consider that allowing myself to find solace from my demons in this man could be the moment of final ruin. I simply acted - on instinct.

  Throwing my arms around his shoulders, I held him tight to me as I cried silent sobs. I felt the muscles of his chest and shoulders tense as he struggled to remain still and silent against the assault of my tears. I knew he had questions, but in his silence, I also knew he was putting my needs first.

  His open hands moved along the expanse of my back as he rubbed me caressingly. I felt his cheek pressed against the top of my head as I allowed myself to settle against his chest when my sobs had finally run me dry.

  In the silence of the emotional aftermath, reality settled in and I felt the familiar swell of fear and uncertainty blooming in my chest. Shifting in his arms, I spoke softly. “Thanks - for um - thank you, Luke.”

  He tightened his hold on me, keeping me captive in his embrace. Fear and contentment warred in my heart for dominance and for the first time, I picked up a sword for contentment, eager to fight the battle against my fear.

  His voice rumbled through his body and into mine. “Let me hold you, pretty girl. Let me be strong for you when you need it.” He pressed his lips to my forehead. It wasn’t a kiss - it was simply a touch. A tender touch. And it shattered through the glass wall of the only resilience I had left against him. In this moment, although he had no clue, I was his.

  “Okay.” I settled back against him, closing my eyes as I listened to the sounds of the night, and Luke’s deep even breaths.

  For the first time in my life, I fell asleep in a man’s arms. For the first time in my life, since the moment my father left in the wake of harsh words, I trusted a man completely.

  Chapter 9

  “Where the hell is my damn sunscreen?” I mumbled to myself as I dumped the contents of my satchel onto the beige spread of my bed. I’d been rifling through the contents with a ferocity that would have surprised any onlookers - thankfully there were none. I was alone.

  Not seeing the little bottle I carted around with me like some carry the bible, I groaned. It was 8:42 a.m. and if I didn’t leave in three minutes, I’d be late for work. But there was no way I was changing from the light pink, airy tank top. Nope to the freaking way! The July sun was already burning at almost thirty degrees Celsius and it wasn’t even noon. If I wore anything heavier than my sheer top, I’d melt, never mind burn!

  I knew better than to go out into the sun with skin like mine. I mean, in all fairness, I had lived with the brutality that was a natural redhead’s delicate skin, all my life. A simple kiss of the sun and I was burned like crisp toast. But I just couldn’t be late and I could have sworn that the last place I’d had my sunscreen was at the barn, so fingers crossed, it was there. Fingers crossed, I’d find the little blue bottle on the office desk. Either way, I was running out the door on my way to work, and I wasn’t about to stop for the freaking apocalypse!

  If I had to go on the tour ride without sunscreen, I’d be paying for days in much the same way Hadley had paid. Jeez, when Kami had told me about Hadley’s burn, I’d thought she was a little silly for not thinking about the effects of the sun, and here I was, knowingly exposing my pale freckled flesh to the punishing rays. Who was silly now?

  Bursting through the barn doors a minute past nine, I saw Luke raise a brow. “I almost thought you were ditching work today.” He followed me into the office as I breathed a panicked sounding sigh of relief. “You’ve never been late - or even on time. You’re always early.”

  “I couldn’t find my sunscreen.” I plucked the bottle from the table, knowing without glancing in the mirror that my shoulders would already be red from the fifteen minute walk to the barn from my cabin without the creamy layer of protection.

  Pouring a nickel-sized dollop into my palm, I rubbed it into my hands before spreading it over my arms. Luke laughed behind me and I glanced up to meet his eyes with mine in the mirror.

  He held out his hand. “Give me some and I’ll get your back.”

  “I’m okay.”

  “You can’t reach your back, Ember, and you’re wearing your hair up. We both know if you don’t let me, you’ll burn.” He bobbed his hand, waiting for the sunscreen.

  “The curse of having red hair.” I grumbled more to myself than to Luke.

  I watched Luke’s reflection in the mirror as he poured the cream into his palm before rubbing his hands together. As his warm hands connected with my already tingling skin, he replied in a husky breath. “I love your red hair, pretty girl. It’s no curse.”

  “Oh.” I breathed, trying to think about anything but the feeling of his large hands over my skin. “Um, I suppose.”

  His eyes connected with mine in the mirror as he rubbed the lotion into my shoulders and over the exposed skin of my back. His movements were soft, slow and deliberate. “Know, pretty girl. Don’t suppose.”

  “Kay.” I swallowed nervously, but for the life of me, I couldn’t step away from him. Actually, I couldn’t move an inch. I could barely even breathe.

  Luke moved closer to me and I felt every hair follicle on my body stand on end. My every sense was aware of him. I felt electrified and despite the summer heat circulating through the barn, goosebumps pebbled my flesh. His hands spread lotion into
my shoulders, over the back of my neck and then down to the slope of my arm. I’d already sun screened my arms, but I didn’t say that to Luke. He already knew. He’d watched me.

  Instead, I stood stone still as he spread the sunscreen over my flesh. I couldn’t take my eyes from his face in the mirror even though he’d dropped his eyes to focus on his hands on my skin long ago. His jaw was clenched tight, as though he were restraining himself and his breathing was roughly audible. The heavy sound in the still room was almost - erotic.

  Never in my life had I thought, for even a moment, not even in my wildest dreams, that the application of sunscreen could be so erotic. I mean, it’s cliché as all hell, but shit, this was so hot I’d bet money that my panties were wet.

  The thought stunned me into a new kind of chill. No longer was my flesh pebbled with goosebumps of erotic anticipation, but instead, it was iced by the uncertainty of my nerves.

  What the hell was I doing?

  “Luke?” I whispered his name on an uneven breath and as his eyes flickered up to mine, their darkness was so heated it was explosive.

  “We’re still running, aren’t we, pretty girl?” He moved his hands slowly down the length of my arms and I tightened every muscle in a weak attempt to fight the shivers his tender touch promised. “I’m okay with that.”

  “Luke.” I spoke his name again - but nothing followed. Instead, Luke bowed his head down to my shoulder. Gently, he pressed his warm lips to my flesh, and I swear, a fire that could rival the heat in a live volcano erupted inside me.

  He pulled back, severing all contact between us. “Finish up. We’ve got a tour.”

  I watched, stunned, and so confused, as he walked from the room.

  Since I made him enchiladas and he held me as I cried in the hot tub, I’d been so much more confortable with the man than I had ever been with any other man in my life. I knew in my soul that Luke was a good man. I knew he was pure and honest and so wonderful, but I didn’t know how to proceed from this point. Everything in my life was plotted and planned so as to avoid all unnecessary pain. There was no calculated way to take a chance on Luke Donnelley. There were no statistics to prove that a life with him would be beneficial or harmful to me in the long run. When it came to Luke, I just did not know what to do.

  However, there was one thing I knew with unwavering certainty. Luke Donnelley wasn’t about to allow me to reject him. I’d tried. I had tried vehemently to reject all his sneaky touches and hidden advances, but I couldn’t. From the very first time I’d seen him in March, almost four months ago now, Luke had refused to accept my cold shoulder. He’s infiltrated my mind and compromised the tactics I have forever employed over my life - the tactics that have kept my heart safe from hurt.

  Luke Donnelley was determined, and with every day that passed, more and more of my guard was falling away to his one-man army. Soon, there would be nothing left to protect my heart from all that he was. Soon, I would be entirely at his mercy. And that thought terrified me.

  Not because I would be weak against him...but because I wanted it.

  And I knew, I shouldn’t.

  ***

  I opened the door of the change room to model the strapless, soft pink, chiffon maxi dress to the four women waiting in the waiting room. Apparently, I was the last one to get a bridesmaid dress, and I was lucky as hell that the boutique had one in my size and Hadley’s color, on the rack. It was already July and Hadley’s wedding was set for the end of August, so there was no time for ordering another bridesmaid dress.

  Reese, the maid of honor, would be wearing the same dress as Kami and I, only in a calm mocha color. Hadley was aiming for a romantic rustic feeling to the wedding and was having it at the Ranch. She had plans for the whole shebang to take place in a rented tent. I had no doubt the day would be positively lovely.

  As I stepped from the room, every girl gasped and Hadley stood to pluck at the material hanging off my body. “Oh, it’s perfect.”

  “You knew it would be.” I said with a small chuckle. “You’ve seen both Kami and Reese in the same dress.”

  Hadley narrowed her eyes on me. “If you’re going to make a big deal, about us making a big deal, about you trying on this dress, I’m going to beat you with a stick. And I’ll have the right, because I am the bride!”

  “The bride.” I nodded, poking my head around Hadley to whisper-tease. “Bridezilla!”

  “Hadley, no threats.” Gracie laughed. “Ember, careful. You don’t want to mess with a bride a month and a half before her wedding.”

  “Oops.” I winked at Hadley. “Alright, what else?”

  Hadley grinned. “As fun as it is to dress you up, that’s all for today.”

  “Damn, I was just loving playing Barbie.” I giggled.

  “Twirl.” Kami ordered and I raised a brow.

  “Did you twirl when you were in the dress?”

  “Nope.” She beamed. “That’s why I want you to twirl.”

  Reese announced, “I twirled.”

  Both Kami and I spoke at the same time. “You’re a girl.”

  “So are the both of you, if I’m not mistaking.” She eyed us with a cocked head. “Weirdo’s.”

  “But you’re girly.” Hadley replied. “Actually, we’re the girly ones.” She pointed to Kami and I. “Those two - not so much.”

  Kami snorted. “I’m girly enough.”

  “For what?” Hadley asked matter of fact.

  “Kyle.” Kami grinned triumphantly before tossing her triumphant eyes onto me. “And Ember’s all the girly that Luke needs.”

  Every woman nodded, but Reese spoke. “Very true.”

  “Okay, we’re not having this conversation again.”

  Kami addressed everyone but me. “Sometimes it can take a few times for something to stick in her head. She’s kind of got a thick skull.”

  I threw up my hands. “Alright, I’m going back into the change room.”

  Laughter sounded behind me as I closed myself in the small room in the bridal shop. My heart was racing, as it always did when the girls told me Luke had feelings for me. The more I heard it - the more I wanted it to be true - and the harder I fought it.

  ***

  I pulled up to the little cabin and felt my heart thrum with excitement as I spotted my moms dated Cavalier. It was the car she used when she wasn’t driving the paw print van and I knew she would never take the van from the Shelter in case an animal needed to be transported. The sight of the pewter paint glimmering in the sun brought me a peace I had been missing without even realizing it. I’d been missing my mom and now that she was here, we had so much to catch up on.

  Throwing my car into park, I pulled myself from the drivers seat and dashed toward the deck where my mom was sitting in a pair of shorts and a tank top. She was leaning back in the chair with her feet resting up on the banister and her eyes covered with dark tinted shades. I knew she was soaking up the warm evening sun, probably half asleep if not entirely locked in dream. I knew this because she hadn’t even shifted as I pulled up to the cabin.

  “Mom!” I called excitedly as I ran up the steps.

  I watched her body tense as she pulled her sunglasses down from her face to smile up at me. “Ember,” she stood to greet me with open arms and I dashed into them, hugging her tight. “I’ve missed you.” She pet my hair as she spoke and I sighed.

  “I missed you too, mom.” I pulled back to look into her face. “I’m sorry I wasn’t here. I totally forgot you were coming today.”

  “It’s no biggie, baby.” She squeezed my hand. “I was just relaxing anyway.”

  “How have you been?”

  “I’ve been fine, but I don’t want to talk about me. I want to talk about you.”

  “Me?” I asked in surprise. “Why me?”

  “Well, I have this tickling suspicion that my only daughter is keeping something from me.”

  I tensed. “I’m not keeping anything from you?”

  She popped a hip. “Really?”<
br />
  I nodded innocently, but firmly. “Really.”

  “Then why was I escorted to this cabin by Luke Donnelley?” My mother asked with a tone that suggested I’d been caught with my hand in the cookie jar. This shocked me, because if anyone was caught with her hand in the cookie jar, it had always been my mother. She continued without missing a beat. “The man whose house we’re having dinner at tonight, because apparently he’s making you his mother’s famous lasagna. And since you forgot your mother was coming to visit you, your mother has politely informed that very sexy man, that she’ll be crashing on his very well-thought date.”

  My face heated and I struggled to remain calm, but with every passing second, my steady composure was slipping. “Mom...”

  “Don’t mom, me, Ember.” She raised a brow at me. “Have you been seeing someone - without telling me?”

  “I - no.” I shook my head.

  My mom didn’t seem to hear me. She clapped her hands together loudly, and unlike the forty something woman she was, she started jumping up and down with youthful excitement. My mom wasn’t old - at all - but she didn’t typically act like a blushing teen either.

  “Oh, Ember, you don’t know how happy I am to hear you’re finally dating.” She rolled her eyes. “I thought there would never be hope of grandbabies.”

  “Mom, I’m not dating Luke - wait - grandbabies?” My mother’s mouth closed into a firm line as she regarded me seriously, obviously coming down from her moment of euphoric high. I continued before she could say anything else. “You want grandbabies? Since when?”

  “Ember,” she shook her head.

  When she didn’t say anything more, I prodded. “Well, since when have you wanted grandbabies?”

  “What parent doesn’t want grandbabies?” She huffed. “You’re all grown up now, Ember. I’d say it’s about time you started dating, and I don’t know...” she flailed her hands. “Thinking about marriage and babies.”