Blind Delusion

by Dorothy Phaire

  “Brenda told you that?” asked Renee skeptically. She knew that Brenda rarely confided her personal business to her mother.

  “Well, not intentionally. Saturday before last she called me. Frantic, she didn’t know where that s.o.b. was. I didn’t trust him and for good reason. Turns out he was up to no good instead of in some kind of accident like she thought at first.”

  Renee listened as Irene blathered on and on. Jerome’s mother-in-law didn’t have any qualms about talking ill of the dead.

  “The day she called me over, she had just found out from his boss that he had gotten fired for using drugs at work. He told her he was out doing a midnight run when in fact he was holed up at his ex-girlfriend’s place. Umhum, some midnight run,” Irene said, rolling her eyes.

  Renee managed to slip a few words in before getting cut off, “Well, I don’t see how that …”

  Irene continued, not bothering to listen to whatever Renee was trying to say. “Anyway, the next day I told Brenda to get herself a life insurance policy on him before it was too late and nobody would insure him. She’d need some kind of safety net because people like Jerome don’t live a long life I told her plain and simple. That’s when she informed me that they both had policies on each other for 50 K since that’s all the coverage they could afford. They wanted to be sure the baby would be okay in case something happened to either one of them. Turns out that was the best decision that girl ever made. Now that the fool’s dead, she’ll finally get some reparation for her years of heartache with him. She’ll need that money to take care of her son and get back on her feet after losing all her possessions in the fire.”

  Irene Adams removed her black, felt hat and fluffed out blond tinted wisps of chemically dyed hair with a diamond-jeweled hand. Renee knew the insurance company would not issue any death benefits until they determined the cause of the fire. Mrs. Adams apparently did not know that her grandson was at the house during the fire since she appeared to be more concerned about the fifty thousand dollar insurance policy on Jerome. Apparently, the evening news did not reveal all the details or she failed to listen to it. The fire investigation team was still combing through the debris, looking for the baby’s remains once Brenda informed them that the child had not been at the babysitter’s at all that day like he was supposed to be. But Renee didn’t know how to tell Irene this.

  “Mrs. Adams, unfortunately, you didn’t get the full details from the news report.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I’m sorry to tell you this but your grandson is missing. He was supposed to be at the sitter’s but Jerome kept him home without Brenda’s knowledge.”

  “Missing? Is my beautiful baby boy dead too?” she shrieked.

  “That hasn’t been confirmed yet. A crew of firefighters, police, and the insurance investigator are still at the scene, searching for evidence,” said Renee, “It’s late but I understand they’ve rigged up lighting. They said they won’t give up until they find something. I’m just waiting for someone to call here with more information. I’m so very sorry about your grandson, Mrs. Adams.”

  “Oh my God, No,” she cried and covered her mouth, “That child was supposed to be at his new babysitter’s. Why was my grandchild in the house with that incompetent fool? Poor Brenda. She must be devastated. As a mother I know how she must feel,” Irene wailed, “I’m sure she thinks it’s all her fault. I told her repeatedly not to leave her baby with that worthless, drug addict husband of hers. I hope he didn’t burn the damn house down doing crack. I have to be here for my baby girl when she wakes up.”

  “Oh God, I sure hope it was some kind of electrical overload that caused the fire, and not from that idiot doing crack,” said Mrs. Adams, frowning. “Then the insurance company sure as hell won’t pay Brenda a dime.”

  “Well, I doubt that Brenda’s thinking about money right now,” said Renee, in a curt tone.

  “Lord, lord, lord, how did this happen?” Her eyes scanned the living room wildly until she found a comfortable chair and fell into it. Chizuko offered her a glass of water. Irene shook her head and waved it away.

  “I need something stronger. A Vodka or scotch on the rocks if you have it.”

  Renee poured her a drink from the bar and handed her a half-filled glass of scotch. The woman would have to be sober enough to drive back home which Renee hoped would be soon. She didn’t want Mrs. Adams to get too intoxicated to drive home. The last thing Renee wanted was to have to invite her to spend the night as a houseguest. Irene drank the scotch down in one gulp and held out her hand for another. “This is bad, this is real bad,” Irene shook her head and wailed loudly without tears until Renee had re-filled her empty glass.

  “Mrs. Adams, please don’t mention anything about insurance benefits when you speak to Brenda.” Somehow Renee didn’t think finding her mother downstairs would be a source of reassurance to Brenda when she woke up. The telephone rang. Renee recognized Deek’s cell phone number from the callerid view pad. She took a deep breath and exhaled before picking up. She hoped he wasn’t calling with bad news. As soon as she heard him say hello, she could feel the frustration in his voice. Renee braced herself for another dreadful update. She hoped he wasn’t calling with bad news about Brenda’s baby.

  “Renee, is Brenda able to come to the phone?” asked Deek.

  “I don’t think so. I sedated her after dinner so that she could get some sleep. What did you find out?”

  “We examined the scene for five hours straight. No other body was found in the house. What it looks like we have now is a child abduction case in addition to the homicide and arson. They’ve already issued an Amber alert.”

  Deek told Renee he was at the police station and not planning on getting any sleep tonight. “When she’s able to talk to us, we’d like to question her. Including, the FBI in case the kidnapper tries to extort a ransom. That fire was no accident,” said Deek. “Someone broke in through the back window. We know for a fact foul play was involved. My partner and I will work closely with Marshall Fuentes. I can personally guarantee we’re going to investigate this case until we catch the torch responsible and get her child back safe. Please tell Brenda that for me.”

  “By the way, I have a number for the Fire Victim Assistance program,” he said, “Brenda’s probably not thinking about that right now but they offer immediate assistance to victims of fire.”

  “I’ve got a pen. I’ll take down the number,” said Renee and wrote the telephone number that Deek recited.

  “And, here … write down this other number for her. The Vanishing Children's Alliance,” he said and gave her that contact as well. “VCA is a non-profit that should be able to offer help in case it takes longer than we hope for someone to come forward with information about her son. Let her know that I just entered the case into the National Center’s Missing and Abducted system so VCA can get involved if it comes to that.”

  “Thank you Deek for all you’ve done,” said Renee, “I hope her child will be found soon before all the paperwork even starts circulating.”

  “I hope so too, Renee. As I said, we’ve got alerts out and additional manpower working on finding her son along with investigating this crime. But we still have a long way to go,” he said, the fatigue evident in his voice. “The first 48 to 72 hours are critical in solving a crime. Please assure Brenda we’re doing everything we can to find her baby and catch her husband’s killer.”

  “I know you are. Deek?” she hesitated, “I have a favor to ask.”

  “Sure Doc, what is it?”

  “I’d like to be involved in the investigation. I’m not talking about heavy police work but I can offer a psychological criminal profile of the killer based on his actions, as well as, come up with some theories to help catch this person. If you want to check my credentials you’ll see I do have expertise in criminal psychology.”

 
“Renee, I really don’t think that’s a good idea and I’m sure …”

  “Deek, please. I need something important to occupy my mind right now and I can’t think of anything more important than this. I know I can help this investigation.”

  “I understand,” he said, “but you haven’t had time to deal with what your doctor told you this morning. And now, this.”

  As always, Deek honed right in on her feelings. He was so in tuned to her needs just like a soul mate would be for someone they loved. Yes, Renee desperately wanted to help Brenda find her baby and her husband’s killer to make sure justice was done. She knew she certainly wasn’t emotionally prepared to treat a full caseload of patients. But those weren’t the only reasons she wanted to be involved in the case. Renee needed to be close to Deek as much as possible and working with him on solving this arson/homicide/abduction case would provide that opportunity.

  “I can’t promise you anything,” he said, “Let me talk to my partner about it. But if we do decide to let you join the team, you have to promise to stay clear of going out on your own to follow-up on leads or doing anything that might jeopardize your safety. We’d welcome your insights about people and observations on the case, but that’s the extent of it. Agreed?”

  “Of course,” she said, beaming like a schoolgirl, “Thank you Deek.”

  “Will you be okay?”

  “Yes. I think so. I’m not thinking about myself.”

  “I know. Neither am I. Call me if anything comes up or if you just need to talk. I’ll always be here for you. I’m sorry about the way I stormed off earlier this afternoon,” he said.

  “Don’t apologize. You had every right. Listen, I can’t talk about that right now. Goodbye Deek and thank you again.”

  Renee hung up the phone and started towards the stairs to check on Brenda. If she found her at least half-awake, she’d tell her what they found out so far. They knew her baby was not in the house during the fire because they didn’t find any other victim’s remains besides Jerome’s. They still didn’t know yet if the baby was safe or where he was. But at least there was still hope of finding him alive. That was something to be thankful for.

  Irene Adams rushed towards Renee. “Was that news about my grandson?”

  “Yes, they didn’t find his body in the house. The police suspect he’s been kidnapped. I have to try to wake Brenda right away and tell her. I pray the baby’s safe somewhere and the person who took him will bring him home unharmed.”

  “Yes, me too,” said Irene solemnly and dabbed at her dry eyes. “Did they find out how the fire got started? Could they tell if it was an accident or deliberately set?”

  “No,” said Renee and left it at that. She had no intentions of divulging anything else to this woman. There was no telling what she’d say to Brenda. Mrs. Adams would have to get her information like everyone else—from the 11 o'clock news.

  “Why would somebody take a three month old baby? Maybe they plan on selling Baby Justin or torturing him for some sick, perverted pleasure,” Irene moaned.

  It was clear to Renee now why Brenda had not wanted her to call her mother to come over. This woman was incapable of consoling anyone’s pain. As a therapist, Renee was able to grasp the depths of some people’s criminality but she would never have revealed any of those terrible possibilities to Brenda or to her mother.

  Renee couldn’t stop Irene Adams from following her upstairs. Irene wore a concerned look when she saw her daughter lying on the bed in a drowsy lethargic state. Renee didn’t want to tell Brenda everything that Deek had said on the phone with her mother there. She hoped after a brief visit she would see that Brenda needed rest and would finally leave. She would say no more in front of Brenda’s mother than what she had already revealed to her downstairs. Irene shoved Renee aside and sat down on the edge of the bed next to her daughter. She gently rubbed Brenda’s cold hand. To Renee’s surprise, a real tear settled in one of Irene’s eyes. “My poor, poor baby doll,” said Irene, “Everything’s going to be all right. Mama’s here now.”

  Irene glanced up at Renee and noticed an icy look on the psychologist’s face. Perhaps Brenda’s boss wasn’t as gullible as she first thought. Irene decided she’d have to keep a close eye on this nosey bitch and make sure she didn’t meddle in her family’s business and ruin her plans to get some of that insurance money now that Marvin had reduced her allowance to a mere pittance until she paid back that $20,000 in personal credit card debt. The sooner she got Brenda out of there and took her home, the better.

  “Come on, get up, Baby Girl. Let’s go home now,” said Irene, lifting Brenda’s arm and trying to hoist her up. “Let Mama help you, Baby.” Damn, I shouldn’t have worn these high heel pumps, thought Irene as she struggled to keep her balance and raise Brenda from the bed.

  Renee made a quick study of Irene Kenmore Adams and summed her up in a few minutes. Renee saw before her a self-centered manipulator. And that was being nice. Brenda was the type who could be easily influenced and used. Renee could tell Mrs. Adams would have no moral issue with taking advantage of her daughter’s trusting nature. And, she seemed a little too interested in that insurance money.

  “Excuse me, Mrs. Adams but I think it might be best for Brenda to rest here tonight if she’d like to,” said Renee, “Then she can decide what she wants to do in the morning. She’s more than welcome to stay here as long as she wishes. Brenda’s become like part of my family.”

  “But she isn’t, is she, Dr. Hayes? My daughter belongs at home with her own family during a tragic time like this.”

  “Mama, do you mind if I speak to Dr. Renee alone for a minute?” asked Brenda.

  Irene cast a wicked glare at Renee, then smiled at her daughter and said, “Of course not.” She sailed out the room, leaving the door slightly ajar as she waited just outside the room in the hallway. Renee closed the door tight and went to sit on the bed next to Brenda. She saw the open bible on the nightstand where Brenda’s favorite Psalm 91, was highlighted.

  “I guess you know I’ve read this psalm over so many times I’ve practically memorized most of it,” said Brenda, and with her eyes close, she recited the first verse. “He that dwelleth in the secret place of the Most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.”

  “What does that mean?” asked Renee, holding onto Brenda’s hand.

  “It means that if you believe in God, you become fortified through your belief,” Brenda explained. Renee nodded. She knew Brenda’s faith in God was strong and she’d need that faith to see her through these next few days. She told her everything that Deek had said on the telephone. Brenda cried with relief at the news that her son had not been consumed in the fire with Jerome. She dried her eyes. Renee watched as Brenda silently mouthed a prayer of Thanks to God for saving her son from the flames. Even though she still didn’t know where he was she still gave thanks to the Lord.

  “Dr. Renee, I don’t know why this terrible thing happened but I know everything will be okay in time,” said Brenda, “and I know my baby is safe wherever he is and he’ll come back to me.”

  “I only wish I had your level of faith,” said Renee and turned away so Brenda would not see the tears welling in her eyes.

  “What’s wrong, Dr. Renee? I can tell you’re hurting too. Everything happened so fast with me that I haven’t taken a moment to see your pain. Forgive me for not noticing before.”

  “It doesn’t matter, Brenda. Don’t worry about me,” Renee started to rise, but Brenda drew her back.

  “Yes, it does matter. I’ve noticed enough outside of my own misery to see that your husband hasn’t been here for you. And something’s weighing heavy on your heart, isn’t it?”

  “You’re right, Bill hasn’t been here. My husband and I split up and this time I think it’s for good. I know it’s time I stop fooling myself about my marriage,” said Renee, “B
ut that’s not the worst of it. The thing is Brenda, I found out at the doctor’s office this morning that I have a rare medical condition. Even though my pregnancy test turned out positive, no embryo developed inside my uterus.”

  Brenda stared at Renee with a blank, horrified look.

  “Bottom line, I’ll never be a mother like you. It’s not in the cards for me.”

  “You don’t know that, Dr. Renee,” said Brenda. “Nobody knows that but God.”

  Both women hugged and clung to each other for several seconds. Somehow, they understood and it felt better to know they weren’t alone.

  “I didn’t want to go home with my mother anyway, Dr. Renee. Now I know I belong here with you. We’ve both suffered a terrible loss. We need to see each other through this.”

  Renee nodded and wiped her face with tissues from the box on the dresser.

  “We’ll be okay,” said Brenda, patting Renee’s hand, “Sometimes it seems like there’s no hope, no way out. You’re lost. But I believe whatever the problem or the tribulation, He will deliver us if we have faith.”

  “I’ll try to believe that Brenda. I really will. I’ll try to learn from your strength.”

  “I’m not always strong,” said Brenda. “Like everybody else I have my bouts with spiritual failure from time to time, but do you know what Dr. Renee? Talking to you earlier today and reading those scriptures to you, helped me reaffirm my faith. They’ll find who’s responsible for Jerome’s murder. My baby is safe some where and he’s coming home to me. I can see the whole thing in my mind.”

  Suddenly, they heard a forceful knock, followed by the door swinging open and Irene Adams’s irate presence waltzing through the room.

  “How long is this girl talk crap going to last?” snapped Irene, “It’s getting late and your father expects me home soon. Are you ready to leave now?”