Secret Society

by Robin Roseau

And it was Hope that waited with me. She looked into my eyes, smiled briefly, and then nodded. She was gone, and I waited, taking several deep breaths, and then I stepped into the room, looked around, and found a chair waiting for me.

  Not a word was spoken, but I knew every eye was on me as I took the seat.

  Mrs. Shaffer waited another few seconds before she stood up. When she spoke, it was without her usual vigor. "You know what, I don't want to talk about our usual agenda." She set her eyes on me. "Are you all right, Ms. Todd?"

  "Not really, but I will be. I have a question before voting."

  "Soon," she said. She sighed. "Is there anything that must be discussed tonight? I'm sure there is, but I don't know what."

  Renee Cooper stood up. "I'm sorry. I know no one wants to hear this. I need volunteers for the park. Spring cleanup." We could have hired that type of work, but that was not how we did things in West Hollow.

  "I'll help," I said immediately. "Tomorrow."

  "Ms. Todd-"

  "I said I'll help, unless you don't want me."

  "Tomorrow," she agreed. "Good weather tomorrow. Early or late?"

  "Any time after nine, but you might have to send someone to get me."

  "I'll get her," Claudine said. "We'll both help." And then there was a brief flurry of other volunteers.

  "The gazebo needs painting," I said. "I can't be the first to notice. And I think we should discuss a few benches near the end of each trail leading away from the park. Am I the only one who would use one?"

  "You are not," said Wilba Everest. "By the time I get from my front door to the park, I'm exhausted. A way station, so to speak, would be lovely."

  I shut up after that, and it took Mrs. Shaffer only a minute or two before she could corral the conversation. She thanked those of us who would help tomorrow and thanked me for my observations regarding the park.

  There were a couple of other minor announcements, and then the room grew silent.

  "I think everyone is ready to move on to our initiate. Mrs. Grafton?"

  Mrs. Grafton stood up. "I have nothing to say tonight. Does anyone want to speak?"

  No one said a word.

  "Ms. Todd, you had a question."

  I stood. "There are people who vote by proxy."

  "Yes."

  "And there are people in this room who have flat out refused to let me complete my time with them or to haze me so I can do anything at all to receive a blue marble from them."

  "That is also correct."

  I shook my head for a moment. That was enough of a comment. "My question, then. Have the people who are voting by proxy been informed of the lovely dinner you all shared?"

  Then I sat down, but I held Mrs. Grafton's gaze while she decided if she was going to answer. Finally she said, "Not all of them."

  And so I shrugged. "Thank you for answering."

  There wasn't any further discussion, and everyone was subdued. That actually made me sad. I would have preferred something more festive, but I didn't have the energy to make it happen myself.

  And then I watched the counting, and I was numb by the time Mrs. Shaffer tipped the empty hat. I was numb, but the room was in shock.

  And then Kiki was on her feet, screaming. "That's bullshit!"

  "Ms. Furman!"

  She pointed. "That's bullshit!" she said.

  I stood up and moved to stand in front of my friend. "Kiki," I said softly. "It's fine."

  "It's not fine!"

  "It's fine," I said. Then I turned around and walked to Mrs. Shaffer. I took the martini glass and gazed at four white marbles.

  "Are any of the owners of these marbles going to explain why?"

  "Because they're-"

  "Kiki!" I said, turning to her. "Please. This is between me and these four women. Please."

  She stared into my eyes, and again I could see the pain. But then she nodded and sat. "Thank you," I told her.

  I turned around, facing the senior members. I lifted the glass. "I ask again. Do any of these four women care to explain this?" There was silence. Then I made a slow turn around the room. "Does anyone wish to add one more white marble and finish this?"

  "No!" Kiki said. Hope was whispering frantically into her ear, and so I continued looking around.

  "Anyone?" I held the glass up. "One more marble does it."

  "Ms. Todd," said Mrs. Shaffer. "I would like my martini glass back."

  I turned back to her. But I held the glass up. "I wonder how many of these marbles represent women currently in this room, and how many represent women who can't even be bothered to attend these meetings." I paused. "I wonder how many of these marbles represent women who touched me over dinner."

  "My martini glass, Ms. Todd."

  I lowered it, stared over the top, and then held it out to Mrs. Shaffer. "Is one of those yours?"

  "No."

  And so I clasped her hand for a moment.

  Then I turned to Harriet. "Well, Judge. I can see from here this isn't over for me. What is the count? I lost track. I'm not firing on all three cylinders right now."

  "Three red, five green."

  I nodded. "Thank you, Judge. Perhaps you can keep this for me. I'm a little wobbly."

  I looked at Mrs. Shaffer. "Is the meeting adjourned?"

  "Adjourned," she declared.

  "I wouldn't mind a little easy dancing," I said. And then I walked out of the room.

  June

  June first arrived. I worked for my clients. I worked off the hours I could, giving up my sleep again. Kiki and Claudine worried.

  By the tenth of June I had paid every hour I owed, with the exception of a few more to Sylvia for walks and the three who wouldn't let me service my time. I gave myself a few days of sleep.

  And then, on the second Friday in June, I drove to the closest garden store. I spent $500 on various flowers. I drove home, collected all my gardening tools, the ones I could fit in my car, and I even hefted a wheelbarrow on top of the car. And I drove to Doctor Hart's house, using a side gate to let myself onto the property, but staying out of sight of the house and main drive. I worked until my back hurt too much to work any longer, planting flowers and trimming hedges.

  I came back on Saturday.

  And it wasn't until Sunday that she noticed me.

  "Ms. Todd!" I ignored her. Instead, I remained on my hands and knees, digging a few remaining dandelions from the grass. She approached and came to a stop beside me, looming over me. "Ms. Todd!"

  "In two more hours, I will have paid every hour I owe to you. Go away."

  "I have a service for this."

  "Well, it appears you hired me."

  "This is quite irregular."

  I looked up at her. "I didn't make the rules. You refuse to let me work within them. So I'm going around you."

  "I can have you arrested for trespassing."

  "Go look at your garden," I said. "Then come back and yell at me. Take your time. Two hours is perfect."

  "Ms. Todd!"

  "What did you think of my most recent hazing?"

  "We're not talking about that. Get off my property."

  "Go call the police on me if you want. Otherwise I'll leave in two hours."

  "You will leave now. I will declare your time paid."

  "Oh, no. I don't want any favors from you. Well, unless you want to move a foot or so to the right. A little shade would be pleasant." And then I returned my attention to the stubborn dandelion and ignored her fuming.

  She stomped off, but she came back perhaps ten minutes later.

  "You did a nice job."

  "Thank you. I'm not leaving for another hour and 45 minutes. You can go inside. There is no reason for you to spend another 30 seconds troubling yourself over me."

  She didn't move. I moved onto the next dandelion.

  "I thought you were beautiful," she said. "And haunting. And I don't know why you let Opal do it."

  "Trust Opal," I said.

  She waited a little longer and the
n walked off. She didn't stomp.

  I saw her again as I was packing my things and making one last tour, ensuring myself she had no cause to complain.

  "I registered your time spent. I warned a few other people to expect you."

  "You don't think I'm going to do the same trick twice, do you?" I turned to her. "I am Guerrilla Girl. Think about what that means."

  * * * *

  I then called Opal. "I need you. Please."

  "Come."

  She was kind. She was gentle. She made me feel very good. And she didn't ask a single question.

  * * * *

  I gave myself Monday morning off, but then I spent an insane number of hours over the next three days preparing a guerrilla campaign to solicit donations to a local women's shelter, the last day of which was spent peppering a good share of Broadwater with the results of the campaign. On the third day, I stopped by the shelter -- it wasn't my first visit -- with two video cameras and a boom box.

  We made a dance video to "I Will Survive". I had it edited and posted by Friday. I submitted my time, my entire debt to Ms. Donna Hart. The women's shelter was her pet project.

  * * * *

  Saturday, I rented a small boat and a young man to drive it for me. We crossed the lake and drove up and down the shoreline for a while. Finally I asked him to drop me off.

  "You'll get wet, Miss," he said. "I can't pull up on those rocks."

  "Is it deep water?"

  He used an oar and showed me how deep it was.

  "Is it mucky?"

  "A little, Miss, but you can walk on it." He pushed on the oar, showing me how it would sink into the mud a little bit, but not bad.

  "Help me out here," I said. "Can you come back in four hours?"

  "Yes, Miss," he said.

  "I need to come back tomorrow for a much longer period. Is there a boat I could pull along behind me? One you could pull to me, but I might be able to row back later?"

  "Yes, Miss. I'll talk to my dad about it."

  "All right. Help me out here and hand my things to me." I stepped out of the boat, working carefully, and then collected my things from the boy. Then I turned to him.

  "You're a nice boy," I said. "Do you like girls?"

  "Yes, Miss." He grinned broadly.

  "Then I'm going to give you some advice. I'm a big girl, and I know things, okay?"

  "Yes, Miss."

  "Girls like to be treated well. They don't like jerks. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

  "I think so."

  "They like confidence though, too. Not arrogance. Do you know the difference?"

  "I'm not sure."

  "Confidence shows in how you stand, how you walk. How you live by your word. Arrogance is when you talk big, or maybe trash talk. And even if you can then prove you're big and tough, or that you can win the game, or whatever, it makes you look arrogant. Teddy Roosevelt used to say, 'Walk softly and carry a big stick'. The girls don't need a big stick, but it applies, sort of."

  "My mom says that actions speak louder than words."

  "That's right. And those guys that are arrogant -- sometimes the girls let that sway them. But the guy who talks softly, who lets his actions speak louder. He gets the girl worth getting, and he keeps her besides."

  I watched him think about it.

  Then I smiled. "And you're nice looking, besides, with a cute dimple. Smile, but don't grin too widely."

  And he nodded. "Thank you, Miss."

  "Four hours."

  "I'll be here."

  And so, I walked through the water, collecting the trash and pulling a few fallen trees out of the water and onto shore. I worked slowly and steadily, and then the boy was back this time with his father.

  "Miss," called out the father. "What are you doing?"

  "Waterfront beautification. I have several garbage bags. No one has done this in a while. Am I going to ruin your boat if we put this inside to haul away?"

  "No." He studied me. "What's a little thing like you doing?"

  I smiled. "Did your son tell you what I want tomorrow?"

  "Yes, but he didn't explain why."

  I gestured. "All the tree limbs are unsightly. I need to haul them away, too."

  "They would be easier to haul up onto land than out via boat."

  "I don't have permission for that. What do you recommend?"

  "The wood is wet."

  "Some of it. The wood from the water. There's a lot of dry. Some of it might make good firewood. Do you know someone who could cut it for me, if I pay them?'

  "I'll do it," said the boy.

  I looked at his father.

  "He's careful," said his dad. "We can cut and split it for you, but it might be a week or two."

  "No rush," I said.

  It took several days, but I cleaned the entire shoreline from one corner of West Hollow to the other. And then I submitted my time against Leanne Mayer. She owned the second of the houses facing the water.

  * * * *

  On Friday, just a bit more than a week before the June meeting, I received an invitation to Judge Wren's home. I dressed in business casual and presented myself at 7:30 as requested.

  I found myself facing Judge Wren, Mrs. Grafton, Mrs. Shaffer, and Mrs. Franklin, all four of them in the meeting room in the basement. The judge led me in, and then she took her seat beside the others.

  "You are full of surprises, Ms. Todd," said Mrs. Shaffer.

  I smiled.

  "Can you explain this?"

  "I am unsure what I am to explain."

  "I received three rather unexpected phone calls," she replied.

  "Let me guess. Doctor Hunt was first. Her sister was second, and Leanne Mayer was third."

  "Ah, so you do know what I am talking about."

  I smiled. "They weren't playing by the rules. They can still give me red marbles, or green ones, but now they don't have an excuse."

  "Ms. Todd, you are supposed to come to an agreement as to how you provide service. You did not do so."

  "I certainly did. They told me they had no need of my services, so I interpreted that as to mean show them they had more need than they realized."

  "I do not believe that is in either the letter or the spirit of the rules."

  "Is sitting back and giving me red marbles because you're too cantankerous to let me work off my time following the spirit of the rules? And rules are just guidelines, so let's not talk about the letter."

  She studied me carefully. "The letter, but not the spirit. No."

  "Good. You can credit me the time or not. But I recently offered a young man some advice, and it's advice I personally live by."

  "Oh?"

  "Yes. My grandmother taught me this. But so did my mother and my father. Actions speak louder than words. I've spoken with my actions." I crossed my arms. "Was there anything else?"

  "You risk angering us."

  I looked into their eyes before answering. "It was never my intention to anger anyone. As I said, I let my actions speak for me."

  We locked gazes for a minute, then she nodded. "We'll let you know what we decide."

  "Excellent. I look forward to it. Was there anything else?"

  "Yes. You haven't invited any hazing."

  "That's not entirely true. Mrs. Franklin has still to step forward. Perhaps she's been hazing me, and I haven't identified it, but there's no video posted, unless it happened in the few minutes during my travel here this evening."

  "Why did you stop inviting hazing?"

  "If anyone still feels a need to haze me after what Opal did, she needs her head examined."

  The judge snorted.

  "I see your point," said Mrs. Shaffer. "And so you seek no guaranteed blue marbles?"

  "Mrs. Franklin's is outstanding," I said. "I will be inviting no future hazing. That part of my initiation has finished. Everyone had her chance, and many of you more than once. Those who haven't taken their opportunity have no intention of doing so."

  "That is no
t entirely true," she replied. "You never asked me."

  I thought about it. "You're right," I finally said. "I didn't. I did, however, hang from your ceiling for several hours. Do you feel cheated, Mrs. Shaffer?"

  Again she paused. "You know, I don't know. I actually am not frequently invited."

  I thought about it. I actually thought about it. But then I shook my head. "No. I want this vote to come with no obligations for anyone. No one has hazed me. Unless you deny my time, no one owes me a red marble. Absolutely everyone is free to vote as she chooses."

  "And if this extends further into the summer?"

  "Excepting a lingering offer to Mrs. Franklin, the hazing portion of my initiation is over. If you wish to be involved in hazing me, you'll have to reach agreement with her."

  "I understand, Ms. Todd," said Mrs. Shaffer. She looked around to the other women. "Does anyone else have anything further they wish to discuss with the initiate?"

  They didn't.

  The judge walked me to her front door. She waited until we stepped outside before asking me, "Do you know what you're doing?"

  "I guess we'll see. Did she really want me to invite her?"

  "I don't know."

  I smiled. "I'd invite you if I could get another spanking out of it."

  She laughed. "I'll think about that. Are you all right? That's the coldest I've ever seen you."

  "I've been told to trust the order. I can trust most of the members, but it appears there are several I cannot, and four of them are cowards besides. It's left me raw."

  "I understand."

  * * * *

  The meeting arrived. I was, well, popular, it seemed, with a number of them congratulating me on reducing my service debt to zero. It turned out that almost no one knew how I'd done it. I smiled enigmatically and offered few details.

  I did get cornered by Doctor Hart, her sister, and Ms. Mayer. I didn't wait to see what they wanted. "You can give me whatever color marbles you want. Blue, green, red, purple, ultraviolet. Whatever. I repeatedly reached out to you, and the three of you weren't interested. But none of you has an excuse, so now you're forced to actually put your marble where your mouth is. Good day." I started to slip past them, but Doctor Hart stepped into my path.

  I raised an eyebrow at her.

  "Are you being intentionally antagonistic?"

  "Do you like the flowers?"