The New Beginnings Coffee Club

by Samantha Tonge

  ‘Are we really doing this?’ Elle took a deep breath as the hairdresser came over.

  I slipped my arm through hers. ‘You betcha. It’s time for a change.’

  *

  And a change it was, I thought, as we pushed open the door to the cottage hours later and both shook our brollies. Noah had been right about the weather. Elle hesitated so I went in first. Martini was dusting the bookshelves in the lounge. We stood in the hallway, like two naughty girls outside a headmistress’s office, not knowing what sort of reaction we would get.

  I cleared my throat. Martini stood up, rubbed her back, and glanced in our direction. She gasped.

  ‘Goodness me. Hold on a minute.’ She disappeared towards the kitchen and seconds later came back, holding her glasses. She slipped them over her nose and her face broke into a smile.

  ‘Just checking it really was you two.’

  ‘Very funny!’ I walked closer. Elle followed. ‘Well? Your verdict?’

  Martini turned her head from me to Elle and then back again. Then she shook her head. We’d been on a real high walking out of the salon and then going for a pub lunch. Had we fooled ourselves?

  ‘That bad?’ said Elle. Her voice wavered.

  ‘Bad?’ Martini shook her head again. ‘Quite the opposite. I’m in shock. What a transformation.’

  ‘Did we look that awful before then?’ joked Elle and chuckled, relief in her voice.

  Martini’s eyes crinkled. ‘Of course not, but wow … you both look years younger. You could practically pass as April’s older sister, Jenny, and Elle … you look just fantastic. A real head-turner. Wait until Noah sees –’

  ‘Sees what?’ called a voice from the kitchen and Noah strode in.

  ‘Good God!’ He stopped dead and stared. ‘Who’s this, Martini? New lodgers? Because I sure as heck don’t recognise them.’

  Martini grinned and carried on dusting. Noah came over.

  ‘Very stylish,’ he said. ‘I can see I’m going to have to smarten up my act.’ He threw me a quick glance. ‘Love it,’ he said in charming light tones. Then he switched his attention to Elle and really studied her face. My throat hurt for a second. I had no one now to take such a thorough interest in my appearance. In fact he scrutinised her for almost a minute. They exchanged looks – almost as if there was a lot more to the haircut than a pot of colour and good use of scissors. Maybe they did fancy each other but neither liked to admit it.

  ‘I think we should show off your new look,’ he said to Elle. ‘Come and serve the last of the day’s customers.’ He leant forward and whispered in her ear, ‘You look stunning.’

  I swallowed. Okay. I know I’m wallowing. But I missed having that closeness with someone. There was no one to make me feel special any more. Buttercup toddled over. I picked her up and buried my face in her fur. I squeezed my eyes tight. Get a grip, Jenny. I loved my new hairstyle and that was all that mattered.

  I put Buttercup down by her scratchpad and headed back into the hallway where there was a mirror. I gazed at the woman staring back. Loved the red streak. And I wouldn’t miss my regular luxury blow-dries. New beginnings – that’s what the hairstyle said.

  Or did it? This was more like the old me. The old Jenny who was going to conquer the fashion world. Perhaps this image instead reflected a retracing of old steps. Like Dorothy heading along the yellow brick road to Oz, my destination hadn’t been what I’d expected. She’d returned home.

  Someone knocked at the door. That would be April. Zak had picked her up from school and then, as promised, was coming around to see Buttercup. I smoothed down my shirt and suddenly felt pleased I now couldn’t look more different from long-haired, designer-clad Chanelle; this hairstyle would send a clear message to Zak that I wasn’t pining and yearning for him to take me back.

  I hesitated for a second. Was that just bravado – or bitterness? Or had him leaving me simply opened my eyes to the type of woman I’d become – and the type of relationship we’d had? I mean, I’d been thinking, lately – what did it say about us that the most vivid memories were of us having sex? I rubbed the back of my neck. Like on the night of his thirty-fifth birthday. I’d thrown him a surprise party at home. Then after the guests had left, and April had gone to sleep, I’d whispered that his real present from me was waiting upstairs. How quickly he’d reached our bedroom, his hand around mine. I’d shut the door behind us, and led him to bed. The lights were dimmed and sensual jazz music played. On my pillow lay a bottle of oil and I told him to strip and then … Funny. As time passed, those sensual memories didn’t send quite so many tingles through my veins.

  I stared at the door as knocking rang out again and a deep voice said something about getting wet. I opened the door. He and April hurried in, out of the rain.

  ‘Quick, shut the door, Daddy, in case Buttercup gets out,’ she said.

  But he stood staring at me, in his damp suit and lilac tie. After slipping off her shoes, April lifted her head. Her mouth dropped open.

  ‘Your hair. Our hair. It’s different.’

  ‘Our hair?’ I said and my brow furrowed.

  Her eyes glistened. ‘You and me looked the same, Mummy.’ Her chin wobbled. ‘But now we don’t match any more like … like Chanelle and Skye do, both with their long blonde styles.’ Her face crumpled. ‘Why does everything have to change? First you and Daddy split. Then we move house. I start at a new school. And now this?’ She charged into the lounge and hurtled upstairs, the sound of her quick footsteps punctuated with sobs.

  When would I start getting this right?

  Chapter Ten

  I headed into the lounge after her but then stopped. Best to let April calm down.

  ‘Ow!’

  I turned around.

  ‘Christ, those doorframes are low.’ Zak rubbed his head. ‘Honestly, Jenny – what were you thinking? As if April hasn’t got enough on her plate at the moment. This is all she needed.’

  Guilt pinched my chest for a nanosecond, but then, no, wait. What a nerve! I folded my arms. At that point Elle popped into the room to fetch her handbag. She looked at us and slipped an arm around my shoulders.

  ‘Everything okay?’ she murmured.

  ‘It’s fine.’ I gave a small smile.

  ‘Is there no chance of privacy in this place?’ snapped Zak.

  I nodded at Elle to go.

  ‘No need to be so rude,’ I said and glared. ‘And you dare talk of April’s needs? All she actually needed was a dad committed to our family unit.’

  ‘I’m here, aren’t I?’ he muttered and on cue Buttercup scampered in. Zak sat down on the sofa and picked up the ball of fluff. A year ago the sight of Zak holding a kitten might have melted my heart.

  ‘And so you damn well should be,’ I said.

  ‘But don’t you question my commitment to our daughter,’ he said in measured tones.

  ‘Then don’t chastise me for having a haircut.’

  Buttercup jumped back down and headed over to a swingball attached to her scratchpad. Zak stared at me for a few seconds. ‘Suits you, as it happens. But what is this? A midlife crisis come early?’

  I snorted. ‘You’re talking about me having a midlife crisis?’

  ‘Touché.’

  I sighed and sat next to him. No point in arguing – it would only deepen April’s hurt. But boy, it was tough, remaining civil. I wanted to shake him, hard. Open his eyes to the damage he’d caused. ‘How was her day at school? Yesterday seemed to go okay.’

  ‘One of the girls called her a show-off when she was asked about her make of phone.’

  ‘How did she take it?’

  ‘Okay I think – said she ignored her. And some boy called Tom told the girl to shut up.’ He shrugged and loosened his tie. ‘She still misses Oakwood though; said she hates the smelly toilets and crowded playground.’

  I kept my face deadpan.

  He pointed to the kitten. ‘What’s this? A bribe? It’l
l take more than that to keep her at that underfunded, run-of-the-mill school.’

  ‘It was Noah’s idea, actually. He was going to buy a kitten, anyway.’

  Zak sneered. ‘Don’t be so naive, Jenny. I’d watch out if I was you. He’s obviously keen to make an impression. Before you know it, he’ll be making a move on you. I mean, how many sane people would invite a complete stranger into their home? He’s a complete creep.’

  ‘One, I would never move April into the house of a man I remotely considered dodgy. And two, if he was, don’t you think there would have been some village gossip about it?’

  Now Zak’s face remained expressionless. And he was wrong. Noah hadn’t put so much as a toe outside of the friend zone. He was kind and considerate. Plus his reaction to the new haircuts proved he only had eyes for Elle.

  ‘Noah has got to know me a little over the last year and needed help at The Coffee Club from someone he could trust. It’s that simple. He and Elle were thinking of renting the loft conversion out anyway. Noah’s okay,’ I said in a measured voice. ‘But even if he was using Buttercup as a means to an end – what business is it of yours any more?’

  A muscle flinched in his cheek. ‘None of this … what’s happened with Chanelle … means that … Look, Jenny, I still care.’

  ‘Well don’t.’ I willed my voice not to crack. ‘I’m managing just fine.’

  He let out a long breath and stood up. ‘I wish you’d take some money.’

  ‘We’ll sort things out with the lawyers in the divorce. I can cope without your help. And, in any case, how are you going to magic up funds to help me?’

  His face flushed. ‘Chanelle’s paying for everything at the moment.’

  Deflated, he stared at the floor. My heart told my arms to wrap themselves around him. That’s Chanelle’s job now, cried a voice in my head. I cleared my throat.

  ‘Tell April I’ll text her later,’ he said. ‘Can you drop her round Saturday morning at ten? I’ll be in at work for the morning. Unless … well, unless you want Chanelle to pick her up.’

  ‘I’ll drop her off,’ I quickly replied.

  ‘Okay. Thanks. I’ll show myself out.’ He got up and, remembering to duck this time, headed into the hallway, opened the front door, and left.

  Moments later, Noah came in. ‘Everything all right? I’m just putting the kettle on. Elle is managing on her own – in fact she is delighting in showing off her new look.’ He stared at me. ‘I noticed Zak’s expression as he walked past The Coffee Club’s window. Figured you might need a cup of tea.’

  ‘You know what? I think I’m okay, but thanks.’ I ran a hand through my shorter hair, loving the absence of long strands of hair around my face. ‘April got upset because of my new hairstyle. Zak accused me of being thoughtless.’

  We both pulled faces.

  ‘What did Zak think of it?’

  ‘Who cares? But I know for sure Chanelle would have forty fits – she’d probably say I was living the ugly duckling story in reverse.’

  ‘Have you read The Wild Swans by Hans Christian Andersen?’

  ‘My mum read it to me when I was little. It’s about the sister whose brothers are turned into beautiful swans, right?’

  ‘Yes. She is desperate to get them back and tries to dispel the magic.’ He shrugs. ‘In other words, a perceived swan-like state can be overrated.’

  I smiled. ‘You mean ugly ducklings rule?’

  ‘Ugly’s the wrong word. But don’t they say geeks rule the world? Perhaps nonconventional ducklings do too.’

  ‘Somehow you’ve made a duckling sound sexy compared to a swan.’

  ‘Now wait a minute, I never called you sexy.’ He winked.

  A weird rippling sensation tickled the inside of my chest. Feeling restless, I stood up and paced the room. ‘Anyway, I’m sure April will get used to the new me and as for Zak, he can just butt out of my business.’

  ‘That’s the spirit. In fact, circling the room like this, you look as if you’ve got energy to spare.’ His shoulders bobbed up and down. ‘Why don’t you start training with me? I’m entering a race in July for charity. You could run it with me.’

  I stopped dead and my mouth fell open. ‘Are you joking? For ten years I haven’t even run for a bus. It’s enough of a workout standing in the coffee shop all day.’

  ‘Running is a great stress buster.’ He flopped onto the sofa and relaxed with his legs wide open. I couldn’t help admiring the solid outline of his thighs.

  ‘Seriously,’ he continued. ‘This last year – whenever I’ve … met a challenge, nothing clears the head more than a thirty-minute jog down to the park and along the stream. I ran a half-marathon last year but this July race, over in Comberfield, is only five kilometres.’

  ‘Which charity are you doing it for?’

  ‘I’m still making up my mind. But I’m hoping for the support of my customers.’

  ‘I don’t know. I’m not sporty.’

  ‘Go on. You’ll be doing me a favour. It’s not much fun on my own. I get up at half six and I’m back by seven. The weather is perfect at the moment.’

  ‘Haven’t you ever persuaded Elle to go with you?’

  ‘She’d probably beat me!’

  My eyes narrowed. ‘You saying I can’t?’

  ‘Maybe. Maybe not.’

  ‘Five kilometres – how difficult can that be? You’re on!’

  He chuckled. ‘Tomorrow then. Have you got trainers?’

  I nodded. From Zumba class. With Chanelle. Top-of-the-range of course, with some supposed amazing shock-absorption technology. I gave a small sigh as I pictured the gym I used to belong to. I couldn’t even afford the smoothies there at the moment. Our Zumba class had really just been an excuse to use the amazing spa section – massage, nails, a dip in the Turkish baths. And now I was reduced to jogging on actual pavements. I almost smiled as I imagined the horror on Chanelle’s face at such a prospect.

  ‘So, in that case, I’ll need to carb-load tonight. How about fish ’n’ chips, on me, for everyone?’ I sat next to Noah. ‘It might cheer up April. I’d better go upstairs and see how she’s doing.’

  Noah faced me and gently ran a finger down the new red streak of my hair. ‘I like it.’

  For some reason my cheeks felt hot.

  He slipped his strong hand onto my shoulders again. ‘You are doing great, Jenny. Honestly. Change is scary and you’re taking it in your stride.’

  I swallowed, taken aback by his sudden serious words and my eyes felt wet.

  ‘I’m glad it looks like that because inside I really do feel like a duckling, desperately treading water with no idea where to go,’ I whispered.

  His fingers squeezed. ‘Just be true to yourself. Listen to your heart. The rest will follow. Everyone has problems. You aren’t alone.’

  ‘You too?’

  ‘I just meant …’ Noah cleared his throat ‘… working in a coffee shop – it’s humbling really. Over the last year I’ve seen one marriage break up and two relationships saved, just by couples coming in here – somewhere neutral – to talk things through. Then last week four elderly ladies came in. One cried the whole morning, spilling her problems, whilst the others sympathised and kept her supplied with cappuccinos. Now and again someone will come in on their own and just sit and stare out of the window, nursing a steaming latte until before they know it, the drink is cold.’ He shrugged. ‘You can get over this, Jenny. The human spirit is amazing. After all, we are biologically programmed to do everything we can to survive.’

  ‘It just takes a little coffee, huh?’

  He smiled. ‘Exactly.’

  I looked at his strong forearms. ‘Noah …’

  He raised an eyebrow.

  ‘Can I have a hug? You’re a really good hugger. Or is that a weird request?’

  Sitting so close, for the first time I noticed the slightly lopsided curve of his top lip. For some reason it made me want to k
iss it. What was going on? Jeez, seeing Zak upset must have knocked me off balance.

  ‘Well, I’ve been called worse things,’ he murmured. ‘And I think “weird” is good.’ He pulled me close. As he wrapped his arms around my back, my whole body relaxed. I closed my eyes and slipped my arms around his waist. This was nice. Warm. Comforting. An escape from my messed-up world. And … and there was that rippling in my chest again. I snuggled closer. He smelt of all things caffeine. With a hint of hot chocolate. Spurts of warmth burst across my body and I had the strongest urge to –

  Wow, was I really thinking to explore his mouth with mine?

  ‘Um, Jenny? Have you fallen asleep?’

  I jerked my eyes open and pulled back to be met by Noah’s twinkling eyes, as our arms slipped away. What on earth was I thinking? Pity it was raining, as I couldn’t even blame the sun for going to my head. I mean, it wasn’t possible to get over masterful Zak Masters that quickly. I tried to replace the image of Noah’s top lip with nostalgic scenes of Zak and me making love. Except Chanelle’s face kept popping into view too and, well, those kinds of memories just didn’t mean as much as they used to.

  We grinned at each other, just as Elle came in. Me and charming health-freak Noah getting together? Now that really was an absurd thought.

  ‘Fish and chips on me tonight, Elle,’ I said and stood up. ‘That Gucci handbag of mine sold at a good price. I think we all deserve a small treat. And as we drove past today, I noticed the corner shop’s got a good deal on some French wine.’

  ‘I’ll stick to juice,’ said Noah.

  ‘Not even one glass?’ I said.

  ‘Don’t even bother trying,’ said Elle. ‘His only vice is all that caffeine.’

  This was very true. Noah swallowed a handful of vitamin tablets and a disgusting green smoothie every morning.

  ‘But don’t let me stop you two,’ he said, eyes twinkling. ‘Feel free to pickle your internal organs.’

  ‘No, it’s okay,’ said Elle.

  ‘Excuse me! I think we need to celebrate our new hairstyles,’ I said, pretending to be indignant. ‘And talking of pickles, I’ll even throw in some onions with the chips.’