Through the Dark Keyhole

by Rosalyn Richardson

  This idea, however, was not without further trauma.

  Chapter Nineteen

  The following day I rang the owner of the caravan site and arranged a mutually convenient time to view a caravan.

  The one Mr Johnson showed me was small and basic, but adequate for my needs, and so I accepted the terms and conditions and agreed to pay the deposit for the rent and move in on the Saturday. I had very few possessions to move, mainly my own items and clothing, so this would not be a big move, physically.

  I still hadn’t heard from Neil by the Friday night, but decided to be courteous for my part, and emailed him, notifying him of my vacating his cottage and that I would leave the keys in the letterbox on my way out. It was all very formal and professionally worded as if to a landlord, but at least it could not be misread.

  I received a formal reply acknowledging receipt of my email and that that would be acceptable, but there was no other correspondence whatsoever.

  On the Saturday I moved into the caravan without a hiccup and I decided to treat myself to a meal and a drink in the bar afterwards.

  It was quite busy, I suppose, with it being a weekend. I didn’t feel too subconscious being on my own for there were others, mainly much older people who were alone, but who seemed “happy in their own skin.” as it were, and I felt admiration for them.

  As I sat in the bar after my meal, I plucked up the courage to email Neil again and without showing bitterness and anger, expressed my wishes for a divorce as soon as possible, as I could not move on without one and I felt it was in both our best interests.

  It was a mixture of relief but sadness when I quite quickly received a reply. Neil had agreed that it might be for the best.

  I replied, telling him where I was living and agreed to set the wheels in motion on the Monday.

  My mind was a complete maze, and I was stuck in the middle of it. The next few days passed in a type of limbo and to an extent, on automatic pilot.

  Jayne bless her, rang me every evening at the same time, keeping her eye on me, albeit from afar, and I did accept her offer to go across and stay for the following weekend.

  Jayne was brilliant. She was non-judgemental and kept being positive about the future.

  Callum was growing rapidly and was now walking well and talking, and was now into the “why this, why that,” which I found amusing and enjoyed my time with him as well.

  True to his word, when I arrived back to the site, there was mail for me to pick up and among these was a very official looking letter from Mr Anthony with my decree nisi. I read through it carefully and slowly, and observed that Neil had quite openly admitted his affair and adultery with Ms Oksana Ivanovich.

  I made an appointment to see Mr Anthony and signed the relevant documents.

  Neil emailed me and out of court agreed on a generous sum in our divorce settlement and he arranged to meet up with me a few weeks later, at the caravan site bar to discuss a few matters in a civil manner. I agreed to this. A lot of the bitterness and anger had now subsided and I was ready to tell him of my new plans. We agreed to meet in the on-site bar one Friday evening.

  I must admit, I was extremely apprehensive and not quite in control of my emotions and I was worried about how I would react at my first sight of Neil, since that awful confrontation, on the other side of the office keyhole.

  When Neil arrived in the bar, he was in casual clothing as expected, and despite what had happened, I agreed with myself that he was still attractive.

  I was grateful that Neil was polite, even though I felt more like one of his customers than his soon-to-be ex-wife, though we had shared so much together. He bought me a drink and we moved to a quiet part of the saloon.

  I spoke first. “I don’t want any trouble or hurtful words between us. What we had between us was beautiful while it lasted, but please just answer two obvious questions if you feel able to.”

  “Go ahead,” replied Neil calmly.

  “Firstly, please tell me where you first met her, and how long has this relationship being going on?” I asked.

  Neil replied quite openly, and I must admit with sincerity, so that I felt I could believe him. “I met her about six months ago when I was working at the Saint Petersburg State University.”

  “How come I wasn’t aware of that quote you sent for that job? I certainly don’t remember it,” I queried.

  “To be fair,” Neil went on to explain, “You weren’t at work most of the time, and I don’t blame you for that at all, your mum was your priority.”

  I felt a surge of pain rise in my throat but I managed to calm myself and remain composed.

  Neil continued honestly. “The university had seen my website and despite me being in the UK, they thought that my supply of furniture was at a good price and gave me a generous contract. It was on my second visit there to give them a quote to furnish their labs and teaching rooms, that I met Oksana. She was a teacher in English, actually.”

  My mind tried to process this information rapidly. “So,” I began slowly, “How does she just happen to be on “tap” at Ryedale so regularly in the afternoon when you so conveniently get rid of me?”

  I began to feel my blood boil. Neil did give a slight sign of a blush, which I had never seen in a man! The air was temporarily silent.

  “You know the other buildings at the top of the lane? There are new buildings with flats?” he replied.

  “Yes,” I said slowly.

  “Well Oksana has recently moved in to one of those,” Neil replied, apprehensively.

  “So,” I started automatically, “You have been, under my nose, carrying on an affair with this Oksana woman. That is a real insult!”

  “Right, we will never get back to what we were, so I am glad that we are proceeding with this divorce, but one thing that has come out of this, I know when and where and even why, I suppose,” I retorted.

  Neil replied quite humanly, “In no way did I mean this to happen Natasha. We were both going through a bad time and living separate lives, really. She was there at the “wrong” time.”

  “My heart bleeds,” I said mockingly.

  Neil replied without biting at my comment. “What are you going to do? Have you any plans for the future yet?”

  “I don’t think that’s any of your business anymore,” I shot back.

  Neil remained calm and he said, “I just want you to have enough money to pursue whatever you decide on and to know that I am behind you.”

  “Excuse me, this sounds a bit like “post conscience” talk,” I replied, starting to get wound up again.

  Neil was being very reasonable with me, I’d give him that. “Natasha, I don’t want this to end in bitterness, even though, yes, I do carry most of the responsibility for it; but we both need to move forward.”

  “Yes, I realise that. I don’t really know what I want. I’m still a bit in limbo. All I am certain of is that I need a complete change, many miles away from here and the opportunity to set up a totally different business,” I replied, calmly.

  The evening ended quite civilly and Neil said that he had drawn up plans for the financial settlement once the decree absolute was in place. We shook hands and Neil said he would be in touch shortly.

  The next few weeks weren’t easy at all. I started going back to the ladies-only gym and did make one or two acquaintances, and that’s all they were. There were about five of us that would meet up quite often and have coffee after a session at the gym, at the café opposite. We all kept the conversation light hearted and there were never any intimate problems discussed. Sometimes it could be a bit boring, but it was company and because I didn’t really have anything that positive to discuss, I usually ended up being the group listener, but I didn’t mind.

  I had thought about going to night school, but when looking at the prospectus, nothing jumped out at me enough to make any enquiries about a course. Maybe that was just me and the mood that surrounded me at the time.

  I gave myself a good talking-to
and my first positive step was to go to the hairdressers. I always felt better when I had my hair done and it had got straggly and out of shape lately.

  I had decided to have my colour changed slightly to a rich, deeper brown, and a touch shorter than on my shoulders. While waiting for my colour to set, the hairdresser brought me a random set of magazines to read.

  At first, I just aimlessly flipped through the top two but, then, my eyes became more interested in a brightly covered magazine called House and Country. It was the wording across the middle that caught my eye. It said that there were new affordable properties now available in Hampshire. I remembered seeing a programme a few years ago about Hampshire and all its attractions and it seemed to be a very popular place to live.

  Turning to the relevant page, I saw a page devoted to the advertising of a newly converted mansion called Marton Manor and its apartments. The rest is history, as it were, as that is where the beginning of this book started.

  Within two weeks, the decree absolute had been granted and I received a large settlement from Neil.

  I had already told Neil about my desire to go and see the show apartment and asked him if he would take me, provided he could spare a day away from “blondie,” as I would really value his opinion and he agreed as, after all, he was going to be the one who was going to buy it.

  For once I felt there was a new and exciting future ahead of me, and a completely new start was what I needed rather than being swallowed up in my sorrows. Little did I foresee that this life-changing event would also prove to be life threatening at the same time?

  Chapter Twenty

  I immediately gave notice on the caravan and began packing up my few of belongings, ready for my move to Hampshire.

  Jayne and Tom had volunteered to help and had rented a small van to use for my move down, for the bulkier items; for instance, Neil had kept a Welsh Dresser that he had restored and he knew that I liked it, along with my favourite armchair and a two-seater settee that I had recently bought and needed collection.

  Neil’s life too had changed. He had sold part of his business and was renting his house out, but most of his time was spent living with Oksana. He had also appointed a new Director for the Company, so the world was his oyster and much of it was travelling with Oksana, and that did prove profitable as he did drum up business at the same time.

  After Jayne and Tom had emptied the van, I met my first new neighbour, Mary. She was about eighty years old and was married to George, and they lived downstairs in the apartment next to mine.

  Mary came out with a large flask of tea and some newly made scones. After introducing herself, she said that she thought we might be glad for some refreshments. I, in turn introduced myself and thanked her for her kindness.

  I soon began to settle-in and Mary and George were very good to me and I was invited round for elevenses and a meal quite regularly. I thought that Mary was very motherly.

  Mary soon explained who my other neighbours were. In flat two upstairs was Mike. He was a single man in his fifties who worked out on the oil rigs, and so was often away for long periods of time.

  Alison was in flat three and she was engaged to Chris. She was a teacher and Chris was a builder.

  In flat four was a woman in her forties called Jo who had recently lost her husband, and was very involved in charity work at the local hospice.

  Finally, in flat five were Dr and Mrs Crowther. Apparently, Ian Crowther and his wife, Clare, worked at the same Health Centre where Clare was a nurse.

  I finished by saying to Mary and George that I looked forward to meeting my other neighbours and hoped that they were as pleasant as them.

  The nest day I drove into Easterly, which was the nearest town to Broughton. I did some shopping and had a good look round.

  On the local Recruitment Agency was a large advertisement which was inviting interested parties to join an evening Counselling course at the College in Easterly. That sounded about right for me. I felt I had plenty of life experience and I had proved many times that I could be a good listener and be non-judgemental, so I eagerly went through the door and signed up for it and paid for the twelve months. It was to be an intense course on two nights a week, and that seemed ideal.

  There was an enjoyable start to the course. It was a must that you had to interact with the whole group at some point, as part of the learning skills. If you were a wallflower, it would be impossible to proceed. This must have helped me become friends with a young woman of a similar age called Grace.

  Grace had been a carer for many years, but wanted a change of career while she was still young enough.

  It wasn’t long before I met Alison, my neighbour upstairs, one evening when she was on her way back from work and I was on my way to the college. She seemed very pleasant, and I soon began to make good friends with her and Chris.

  One evening I went up to their flat with a parcel that I had taken in for them and Alison invited me in for a drink and from that initial visit, we became regular visitors to each other. I also looked after their goldfish whenever they went away. Recently, although it was still a few weeks off, Alison and Chris had invited me for Christmas dinner with them and her parents, which I gladly accepted.

  I didn’t see much of Jo, the lady from upstairs. Our paths didn’t seem to cross, and she did seem to be more of a person who wanted to keep herself to herself, and she was very busy with her work and campaigns and admirable fund raising, that she arranged for the charity.

  Eventually, I could meet Dr and Mrs Crowther. In fact, it wasn’t at home that I met them, but in the shopping centre at Easterly.

  Ian Crowther, extended his hand to shake mine and introduced himself and Clare to me. Clare did shake my hand, but she seemed rather “retiring”. I could only conclude that she was more outgoing at work as a nurse, but anywhere else was more reticent.

  I introduced myself and said it was good to meet them, and we parted company.

  As I was registered with a different medical practice from where they were, I hadn’t had chance to meet them through their work.

  I continued to progress at night school, and Grace and I would often go for coffee or sometimes to the pub just across from the college, for a drink.

  Christmas came very soon. I was pleased to be invited to spend time with Alison and Chris and could meet Dan and Sue, Alison’s parents, who had come up from Surrey and were staying over for a couple of days.

  As we all sat relaxing in Alison’s living room, Alison and Sue, though not in a gossiping manner, began to fill me in about my neighbours. Not a lot was said about Jo, but that didn’t surprise me, she was a bit of an enigma really.

  I already knew Mary and George well. Apparently, Mike was back in England from the oil rigs, but was visiting his parents in Glasgow for Christmas.

  That just left Ian and Clare. I remarked that I had only briefly met them once or twice in the last few weeks. I did mention that Clare had seemed very reserved. I must add onto that comment, that I used to be a bit that way myself at one time. I had already told Alison and Chris how I came to be living here in Broughton, and so they knew me quite well now and about my having to “man up” as it were.

  Alison revealed very sympathetically, that Clare longed for a child and she and Ian had tried a few attempts at IVF, which did at first seem promising and she had become pregnant more than once, but had not managed to carry the baby to full term. Clare also had the added worry of her female clock ticking away, which was like sand slipping through a timer, and that this hadn’t helped her confidence. Ian had managed to get her a job at the same Health Centre and this apparently had helped her stay more focused, but she was a shadow of her former self. Ian had managed to get her work there, so that he could keep an eye on Clare as she seemed so fragile.

  I laughed.

  “What are you laughing at?” Alison asked suddenly surprised at my reaction.

  “Well, considering we’ve just been saying that she’s very reserved etc., you see
m to know a lot about Clare suddenly,” I said teasingly.

  In defence, Alison went on to explain, “It’s only because her cousin works at the same school as me, and when she realised I was a neighbour of Clare’s she told me about the situation.”

  “Oh! so it is gossip then?” I replied, chuckling as I did so.

  Alison threw a fluffy toy at me in jest and said, “It’s not malicious.”

  Alison, Sue and I had a laugh, and then I became serious as I added, “No, you’re right, and sometimes it’s good to be informed about such situations, so that a person can understand someone like Clare, who has been a bit of a mystery to me, I must admit.”

  I really had enjoyed meeting Dan and Sue. They were delightful. Dan’s sense of humour was infectious and Sue was a very bubbly person. When it was time to take my leave and get to bed, I remember coming down that marble staircase deep in thought. Wistfully, and with a tinge of sadness, I thought about my deceased parents and wished they had been “normal” like Alison’s were.

  Then my thoughts suddenly turned to Clare. I could relate to losing babies and the trauma of it.

  What I was painfully to discover was how fragile she was, not only emotionally but mentally as well, and that I would also have to bear the brunt of things to come.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  I did keep in touch with Neil, not regularly, but occasionally. He was still somebody who I could turn to for advice when I really needed it and by and large he was okay with that, but he did put the proviso on it that it must only be at certain times, which interpreted, meant when Oksana wasn’t around. He suffered grief if he was caught in correspondence with me, and I couldn’t help but smirk when he added how serious a threat to his manhood it would be if this was the case.

  The year flew by and with it came the joy and satisfaction of passing my course and knowing that I was now a fully qualified counsellor. The same was true for Grace.

  Grace was going to set up her own business, and I knew I had to seriously start looking for work.