Every Rogue's Heart

by Dawn Brower

  “What the devil was I thinking?”

  She surveyed the small pile of discarded clothing around her feet with dismay. This wasn’t right. Neither was it proper. A woman of good morals would never show a man she wasn’t married to her underclothes. She could almost hear her mother’s admonishment echo about her mind.

  Then she straightened her spine. “I am not her.” The confident whisper sounded overly loud in the quiet room. “By my very occupation, I have proven myself more daring and innovative than she has ever been.”

  Perhaps Jasper had been correct after all. She was a woman of courage… if she would but let herself follow through with that bravery. If this didn’t help bolster her confidence, she would have no choice but to return home, disgraced and defeated, and let her mother resume her matchmaking process. That wasn’t what she wanted for her life because that would mean she would have to truly leave Jasper in her past, and that everything between them would be over.

  But then, he already had a good life here. There was no place for her; they couldn’t go back, for they weren’t those people anymore, even if there was a flicker of hope—

  “Evangeline?” His voice sounded on the other side of the door. A soft knock landed on the panel immediately after. “I’ve brought tea up. Are you ready?”

  “Almost.”

  With more haste than attention to detail, she donned the corset she’d selected. Her fingers slipped over the pink French sateen as if it were water as she fitted the garment to her body. She fumbled with the tiny hooks and their loops. Even though the fastenings went down the front of the item, she struggled, more frustrated with nerves than of her inability to work the hardware. Finally, the last hook was fitted and she smoothed her hands along the corset. The pleating provided visual interest and kept the eye looking vertically, which helped with the illusion of appearing thin for her chubbier clients. Black lace trim along the bodice, combined with black satin ribbons made the piece eye-popping and gave the wearer a bit of a naughty secret beneath their everyday dresses and shirtwaists.

  “I’m coming out now. Please be kind.”

  Aware her voluptuous curves were enhanced by the French-designed corset, she again pondered whether this looming stint at exhibitionism was a good idea. At least she still wore the camisole and drawers beneath to further hide her form. “Stop it, Evangeline. Find your bravado and make it stick,” she fiercely whispered to herself. How would Jasper react? Even though they were no longer together and he hadn’t indicated that he wished for circumstances to change, she had the girlish thought that she wanted to render him speechless. “You are not trying to impress him, remember. You are trying to learn how to sell more corsets.” Right, he is part of my past.

  Then she stepped around the discarded clothing and put a hand on the doorknob. Her heartbeat raced through her veins. The muscles of her stomach clenched. Every nerve in her body seemed strung too tight. In some ways, she was more horribly exposed than merely showing off the undergarments. Vulnerability was one thing she didn’t do well, and with nothing to hide behind—literally and figuratively—terror lurked in the pockets of her soul. Restless energy zipped from her toes to the ends of her hair. Would she lose her courage and hide herself away behind his bedroom door? It was time to find out.

  Whatever she thought would happen the moment she emerged from the bedroom, crossed the hall and entered the parlor, it flew right out of her head when he clambered to his feet. The linen napkin slipped off his lap and onto the floor, unheeded. His lips formed an “O” of surprise, his eyes darkening to the color of rain-swollen clouds over the sea.

  And still he said nothing. The void of silence grew more charged with tension until she could stand it no longer. “Well?” She propped her hands on her hips, and he followed the action, his gaze sweeping along the nip of her waist. “Do you like the sample or not?”

  “I don’t know what to say.” His lips made words that he didn’t utter. Instead, he simply stared, gestured once at her with a hand and then finally cleared his throat. “The corset is incredible.” He swallowed hard, his Adam’s apple bobbing. “You are beautiful in it.” He dropped his voice. “One could argue it is your curves that give the garment life.”

  Evangeline smiled. She couldn’t have asked for a better reaction. “You were always one for pretty words.”

  “This time they’re not merely complimentary.” He rubbed his chin. “It’s nothing but truth.”

  She rolled her eyes. “Well, thank you. I knew this was a good piece to show.” Still beset with nerves, she wetted her lips and cast a glance over her shoulder. “I should change.”

  “No.” Jasper, apparently regaining his senses, came around the table and approached her. “Not yet. If it is all the same to you, I’d like to examine the corset to fully appreciate its lines.”

  Strange request, but she nodded. The closer he approached, the faster her breathing came. Why? She’d never been nervous around him before. Not in the two years they’d courted had his presence sent gooseflesh racing along her arms or tingles sparking at the base of her spine. “How many, uh, women have you inspected corsets upon?”

  “Not as many as you probably want to believe.” He reached out a hand, and when he traced the lace at her bodice, his fingers shook, and that slight tell tugged at her heart. “The trim is a nice touch.”

  “Yes. When we requested these made, we didn’t wish to forego fripperies even though no one would see the underclothes.” She barely forced the words past a tight throat. “I fully believe that if a woman wears pretty things as her foundation, she will find the confidence she needs to face whatever occurs throughout the day.”

  His gaze never left hers. “Except, why do you not practice that same philosophy?”

  “I beg your pardon?” The awareness of him grew overwhelming. She couldn’t think straight while he stood there, so close with his hands now resting lightly on her hips. No longer did his interest fall to the corset.

  “Where has your confidence in yourself and your abilities gone in recent years, Evie?” he asked in a whisper, his warm breath skating across her cheek. “The young woman you used to be had stars in her eyes and steel in her veins.” As he held her gaze, the tension between them hummed into being. “While I’ll admit I was hurt when you went off chasing your dreams and left me, I am sad that now you’ve closed yourself off from everyone and let your dreams float down the road.” His fingers tightened on her hips as his eyes held the wicked twinkle that signaled mischief was imminent. “Will you chase them or let them slip away?”

  She laid her palms on his chest with the determination to push him from her. He was entirely too close for her peace of mind, yet his words rankled. “I am doing the best I can at living my dreams.”

  “Are you?” Jasper moved a hand from her hips to cup her cheek. He brushed her bottom lip with the pad of his thumb, the action as fleeting as the touch of a butterfly wing. “Truly and without reservation, or are you doing an excellent job of hiding from them?”

  Did he refer to her business undertakings or what had occurred between him and her? Evangeline had no time to ponder, for no sooner had the words faded than he kissed her. Yet it was more than that. The press of his lips against hers wasn’t urgent, but neither was it the perfunctory pecks he used to give her. She curled one hand into his lapel as her knees wobbled. This was the Jasper Winslow she’d known years before? Surprise kept her eyes open. He hadn’t closed his either and watched her while their connection remained unbroken.

  Gently and so tender as if a sudden movement would startle her, he slipped his hand to the back of her head and cradled her skull, pulling her closer with the veriest tug. The hand at her hip maneuvered around to rest at the small of her back and secured her against him. Not tight enough that she couldn’t escape if she wanted to.

  The was the question. Did she wish to run? Confusion clouded her mind as she tried to decide. Everything was so… muddled now.

  And still he looked at her, q
uestions deep in those stormy gray depths. “Shall I continue, Evangeline?” His barely-there inquiry caused his lips to stroke hers and left tickling sensations behind.

  Her heart squeezed that he was willing to wait for her permission. “I…” She slid her other hand up his chest to curl around his nape. This intimate meeting was so different than anything she’d experienced with him before that curiosity wouldn’t let her alone. “Please.”

  Jasper didn’t waste time. He claimed her lips and moved along them in a languorous search, for what, she couldn’t say. The silken glide of his tongue’s tip loosed a host of tremors along her spine, and when she gasped at the unexpected pleasure, he pushed that organ inside her mouth. Evangeline met him and a duel ensued, full of silk and satin heat.

  It was delightful and magical all at once.

  When he pulled away and broke the embrace, she groaned in disappointment. Why did he stop when she needed so much more from him? “Did I not have the correct deportment or style such an embrace requires?” She’d only kissed like that once before with her previous fiancé, and those kisses had been enjoyable, of course, and had introduced her to the more intense side of courtship and romance. But he hadn’t drawn such heat from her or cause blatant desire to bloom and grow low in her belly like Jasper did.

  “You were everything perfect.”

  “Then why did you stop?” She took a deep breath, hoping to regulate her breathing.

  His grin was decidedly lopsided. “Because if we don’t, there is every possibility that kiss will lead to other, more satisfying, endeavors.”

  “Oh.” Her eyes widened and heat slapped her cheeks. She wetted her lips. The sweet taste of sugar he must have added to his tea lingered on her palate. “Do you not, uh, wish to do… that… with me?” Embarrassment burned through her face at her audacity to ask such a question.

  “Ah, my dear.” Jasper shoved a hand into his hair, leaving the dark strands in furrowed rows. “That is neither here nor there, don’t you think?” He turned away and headed back to the sofa he’d abandoned when she’d entered the parlor. “You don’t feel there is anything between us now. If I were to act on my desire, it would be taking an advantage of you where I have no right, and after everything, I am a gentleman.”

  Her heart, that once-fortified organ she’d hidden from everyone for fear of being hurt, cracked out of its shell and a piece flew into his keeping. “I…” His words echoed in her mind. …you don’t feel there is anything between us… Did that mean he did? She cleared her throat as slow-moving panic climbed her throat. “I should probably dress for sleep.” This was no good, this battle between being unfulfilled and terrified he’d push for a future, but what was the lesser of two evils: falling for him again or throwing caution to the wind and giving life to her curiosity and how exactly he would take advantage? Then her thoughts swung the other way. A relationship with any man right now would hinder her chance of finding freedom. Confusion raged within her. Why did this complication not make itself known until she’d reconnected with him on that dratted train platform?

  Jasper reached the sofa and then faced her. His eyes were no less intense than they ever were and that knowing glint cut into her musings. “Do you require assistance in removing the corset?”

  “Actually, I do not. This one fastens…” She sucked in a breath and didn’t tell him the hooks were on the front and easy for her to manipulate. If he didn’t remember, she wouldn’t enlighten him. “You still wish to help in such a task?” Her body vibrated with anticipation to feel his touch once more. Perhaps she was more daring than she’d thought, for she couldn’t wait to have him close, regardless of the fact her convoluted thoughts centered on him.

  “Very much.” The words, so low-pitched, were almost lost to the sound of the steady rain against the windows. “I’m strong enough to withstand your siren’s song.”

  Evangeline’s jaw dropped. He thought she had that sort of allure? “All right.” How much trouble could they find then? After all, the bedroom and its bed were steps away, and they weren’t moving toward them. Not that she would ever think to lead him on. She came around one of the sofas with tentative steps. “But the other corset is even more risqué than this one. It’s cut lower and shows more—”

  “Hush.” Jasper joined her in front of one of the chairs. “Don’t tempt me more than you already have.” He dropped his hands upon her shoulders. “Turn.”

  She gave into a smile as she did his bidding. How long would it take him to discover the truth? She didn’t care. Just knowing he had to battle desire sent curls of pleasure unfurling in her belly. There was a certain feminine satisfaction in that. “No doubt you’ve been tempted by a woman during the years we’ve been apart.” Yet one part of her hoped he hadn’t played the rogue. “Someone like me can easily be forgotten.”

  “Don’t underestimate your worth.” His breath warmed her nape. “Aside from the woman in Paris, I have been celibate. My attention has mostly been on my work. After you…” A long pause followed the broken admission. “Well, nevermind.” He slid his hands up and down the back of the corset before resting them on her hips. “Where are the hooks?”

  “On the front.” She shot what she hoped was a cheeky grin over her shoulder, but the heat imparted from his hold distracted her. Her pulse accelerated and she took a few shallow breaths. Did he still harbor feelings for her? Oh, dear Lord, this is becoming too murky. “Shall I turn around again?”

  “That would be helpful.” When she did so, he set to work on the first few hooks, starting at the top, hidden by folds of fabric. “While we’re on the subject of corsets, it is not the cut of the garment or the trim that makes it so enticing for a man.”

  As the hooks fell before his nimble fingers, Evangeline’s skin warmed. He was so close but yet so far. Manipulating the fastenings on a corset was not the same as being caressed. “What does, then?”

  “The woman wearing it.” The corset opened. It fell at their feet with a soft thud. “No matter what she dons, her smile, the twinkle in her eyes, the way her lips curve with a smile, the sound of her laughter are what captivates a man.” He set his hands at her hips and slid them upward to her waist. “The very shape of her will always be her most beautiful features.”

  She forced a swallow into her suddenly tight throat. “What are you trying to tell me, Jasper?” The heat from his skin seeped through the thin cotton of her camisole. Slowly, oh so slowly, he edged his hands upward until he brushed the curve of her breasts. “I cannot bear this talking in riddles.” Did he think those things about her?

  “When you demonstrate how your corsets look for your clients, spin them a tale, make them see the romance attached to such a garment.”

  Cold disappointment crashed down her spine. Obviously, he did not. Those words were part and parcel of a spiel for the sell. “I will try.” She dropped her gaze and concentrated on the knot of his thin black cravat. “I appreciate your insight.”

  “I meant those words for you, too, Evie.” He fitted a finger beneath her chin and raised her head until their gazes met. Sincerity shone in his gray depths. “Don’t devalue yourself based on what you wish your life was like. You have much to give the world yet. Enjoy what your life is now.”

  Tears sprang into her eyes. Why couldn’t he have said such meaningful things years ago when she could have used his support the most? Guilt twisted in her gut. Of course, he wouldn’t have. She’d broken off their association; she’d made certain they could never come back together. “Thank you.” On impulse, she threw her arms about his shoulders and hugged him. “I have missed you.” That, at least, was the truth. “I’m glad for your friendship… after everything.”

  He played his hands up and down her back. Electric energy followed in his wake. “I live to serve.”

  The longer they remained locked in the embrace, the more her desire for him grew. Her nipples hardened, and every tiny movement she made caused them to rasp against the lace on her camisole. Need streaked thro
ugh her, pooling between her thighs. She stifled a moan. Evangeline pulled away so she could peer into his face. “Will you kiss me again?”

  “I don’t think that’s a good idea,” he said in a fair imitation of what she’d said to him earlier and he retreated a couple of steps until the backs of his knees hit the chair.

  “Why?”

  “Honestly?”

  “Since we cleared all misunderstandings between us, honesty is best.”

  Jasper nodded. He brushed his knuckles over one of her taut nipples and grinned when she gasped. “I am afraid that if I touch you, kiss you again, I won’t be able to control my impulses. I want you to leave my home with your reputation intact.”

  Hope lifted her heart. And then a wicked streak gripped her. “I am a woman grown and have a mind of my own.” Evangeline planted a hand against his chest and gave him a firm shove. He tumbled ungracefully into the chair. “What if I said I don’t care as much for my reputation as I once did?” Giving into impulse, she slid onto his lap, and daring to test her wings, she straddled him. “Perhaps I merely need to take what I want.”

  For the moment, she ignored her ambitions and her wont for independence. Right now, there was only him, for she highly doubted she could have both.

  Chapter 8

  I am in serious trouble.

  What Jasper had hoped was a gambit to make Evangeline see the confidence she already had inside of her had changed into his own seduction.

  “What do you mean by this?” His voice cracked on the last word, and in an effort to put his hands somewhere, he rested them on the generous curves of her hips. The elusive floral perfume she wore wafted around him and further helped to cloud his judgment. No matter how self-possessed he thought he was, she had always had the power to bring him to his knees.