Every Rogue's Heart

by Dawn Brower

  “Careful,” he warned. “You’re treading on ground you have no business being on.”

  Too bad. Nothing was going to stop her from backing down now. His life depended on her ability to break through to him. “Why don’t you let anyone in? What are you afraid of?”

  “I’m afraid of nothing,” he seethed out. “Least of all a woman who thinks she knows everything. All your declarations of seeing me—you see nothing.”

  On that score, he was right. She could tell when he was lying or holding back, but the real truth wouldn’t or couldn’t be known to her unless he chose to share it. He could keep his secrets from her forever if he wanted to. She hoped he wouldn’t though.

  “Enlighten me then,” she shot back. “What exactly is it I’m not seeing? Maybe if I understood…”

  “As if I’d ever tell you anything,” he interrupted her. “I’ve had enough of this conversation. Go back to your time, Serenity. I don’t need you here.”

  He spun on his heels and left the room. Her heart ached in ways she never imagined it could. His words were cruel, but deep down he didn’t mean them. Something in their kiss had scared him into acting rashly. What had happened with his wife? How had she died? Maybe she should have asked those questions sooner. It might help her to figure out what was going on inside of his head. Either way, she had to stop him from leaving the castle. If he went to Manchester he could end up one of the unfortunate victims at St. Peter’s field in a week.

  How was she going to stop him without letting him know the results of the assembly that would gather there? Peterloo, as it was dubbed, was a massacre that spurred one of the defining moments of this point in history. It had to happen in order for England to move forward. As much as she hated the idea of people dying, there were certain things in history that needed to remain on the path it had already traversed. Those people’s deaths meant something more for everyone. It was a sad truth, but she refused to let her duke be one of them. There was no way of knowing if he’d been there before or the role he’d played. Maybe she should let him go, but do what she could to keep him safe.

  She laughed… He’d hate that part. The duke was a brawny man who believed himself invincible. The idea of a woman being his savior would unnerve him. There was no way around it though. He was determined to go, so she’d make sure she was with him every step of the way. While she was at it, she’d find a way to dig around inside his head and figure him out. Times like these, she wished she had Genevieve’s gift of telepathy. Maybe then she’d get a read on his thoughts at least…

  Serenity sighed and headed to her chambers. Sconces of the finest metals decorated the wall of the hallway. At night, candles were lit to illuminate her path. A long, vibrant, red carpet with embroidered gold thread was spread across the floor. Every luxury available to a duke of the nineteenth century filled the house. She reached her bedchamber and pushed open the door. It wasn’t the best room in the house, but she loved it all the same. It had a grand, four-poster bed with rich, blue velvet brocade. The large window pane pushed open to a gorgeous view of the gardens. A small vanity filled the far corner of the room and held her limited amount of beauty accessories. She’d never bothered with makeup and didn’t miss it now, so all that laid on it was a brush and a box of hair pins.

  She didn’t have much, so it wouldn’t take her long to pack. Which was a good thing if she hoped to surprise the duke with her decision to travel by his side. He’d probably forbid it if she gave him a chance. Relief flooded her now that she realized the path she had to take. He wouldn’t die… She refused to lose him.

  That had been close… Brandon had been seconds away from stripping Serenity bare and making love to her. He wanted her more than he’d ever wanted a woman. She’d been more than willing and disappointed when he’d stopped. Ending it had nearly killed him. He still wasn’t sure how he had managed to do it.

  He cursed as he pushed open the door to his chamber halting short at the sight of his bed. Immediately, images of her there naked filled his mind. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He had to release the image from his mind. It was the best thing for her. She had to go home to the life she’d left behind. As much as he wanted to claim her he couldn’t. He was no good for anyone, and she’d come to resent him in time. It was difficult for him to open up to anyone. Keeping secrets had been ingrained in him for so long, he didn’t know any other way of doing things. Somehow one little slip of a woman had become imbedded inside his soul. If she stayed even a moment longer, he wouldn’t be able to let her go. This was her last chance to leave.

  “Your Grace,” Adley, his valet said. “How may I be of assistance?”

  Brandon shook the thoughts away and turned toward Adley. “I need a trunk packed immediately. I’m leaving on the hour for a sennight.”

  He bowed. “I’ll have it prepared posthaste.”

  Brandon should leave his room and give instructions to the household for while he was away. He didn’t want to admit it—even to himself—but he was hiding. If he left his chambers, he ran the risk of running into Serenity before he left. As much as he craved to see her, he couldn’t. It was better to have a clean break and leave her as a fond memory. One he’d never shake because she’d become important to him in a short time. Damn, he was a coward. When had he become this weak man?

  Resolved, he exited his room and headed toward the front of the castle. He would speak to the housekeeper and make sure she had things well in hand. If Serenity was leaving as he’d instructed, he’d have to make sure Sebastian was taken care of. He really should look into finding him a new governess. When he returned, it would be at the top of his list.

  Brandon made his way down the long hallway and took the stairs two at a time. He headed in the direction of the office Mrs. Simms used to do the household accounting. She usually could be found there at this time of day. He pushed open the door and entered to find the housekeeper steadily working.

  “Mrs. Simms,” he called out. The housekeeper turned at the sound of his voice. “A word please,” Brandon said. “I’m leaving soon, and so is Miss Drake. I will need you to assign a maid to Sebastian’s care while I’m gone.”

  “Yes, Your Grace,” she agreed. “Miss Drake has already spoken with me. Milly will take her place until your return. If it pleases you, I can start interviewing a replacement governess while you’re away.”

  Had Serenity suggested that too? She was really leaving… He’d told her to, but a part of him had hoped she wouldn’t listen to him. His heart beat rapidly in his chest and a pain stabbed him with each breath he took. It wouldn’t be the same without her.

  “Yes, narrow down a list of candidates and I’ll look them over when I return?”

  Mrs. Simms nodded. “Very well, Your Grace. I’ll send word to the agency to send a few applicants over. When you return from your trip I’ll have a shortlist waiting for you.”

  He hated the idea of hiring someone new to work with his son. “I should return in a sennight. Sebastian will be in good hands with you seeing to his care for now.” Whomever they hired to be the new governess had some lofty shoes to fill between Genevieve and Serenity. They had both done well with his son’s education.

  “Very well,” the housekeeper said. “Is there anything else?”

  He shook his head. “No. I trust you’ll keep the household running smoothly in my absence.”

  “Of course,” she agreed. “You may count on it.”

  Brandon nodded and went in search of his son. He was playing in the nursery with Serenity. His heart stopped at the sight of her there. If only things could be different… Maybe they could have been together and had children of their own. He frowned. Where had that come from? He didn’t want any more children. At least, he’d always believed that. With Serenity, it could’ve been anything, the possibilities were endless. Perhaps in another life he could have had a chance with her.

  “I have to go away,” Serenity glanced up and met Brandon’s gaze, then turned to Sebas
tian and said softly, “But don’t worry. You’ll have the best possible people here with you.”

  “No,” Sebastian said. “You stay.”

  She smiled and caressed his hair. “I wish I could, poppet. Sometimes we have to do things we don’t want to. One day you might understand that.”

  Sebastian pouted. “I want to come with you.”

  Serenity’s smile wavered. She truly did care for his son. Perhaps he should interrupt their conversation before Sebastian became too upset. “Another time,” she said. “Be a good boy for me, won’t you?”

  Another time? She shouldn’t be getting the boy’s hopes up. If she was going back to her time, there wouldn’t be other trips for her to take him on.

  “Sebastian,” Brandon said. “Come give me a hug.”

  The boy leapt to his feet and ran over to him. He wrapped his little arms around Brandon’s waist and held on tight. “Are you going too, Papa?”

  “I’m afraid so,” he said. “But don’t worry. I’ll be back before you have a chance to miss me.”

  He loved his little boy. Sebastian was the only good thing his wife had given him. Their marriage hadn’t been a love match, and they’d fought more than anything. When she died, he hadn’t felt anything but relief. That was something he’d never tell his son. As far as he would know, his mother was loved. Catherine hadn’t been a bad person. It wasn’t her fault he’d been unable to truly love her.

  “Promise,” Sebastian said.

  “Always,” Brandon assured him, tousling his hair.

  Brandon stepped away from his son. He made sure to keep his gaze averted from Serenity. He didn’t know how her gift worked exactly, but he didn’t want to unwittingly give her ammunition to use against him. If he had any chance of letting her go completely it had to be a clean break. He turned and walked out of the room and didn’t look back once. Pain settled into his gut, and he accepted it as his due. In time, he’d become accustomed to it too. As with all things in his life he would find a way to endure. He was the one to make the hard choices for a reason. Serenity would go home, and he’d go to Manchester.

  Maybe if he reminded himself often enough he’d believe it…

  Chapter 4

  Brandon opened the carriage door and stepped inside. He sat and rapped on the side to let the driver know he was ready. The wheels rocked forward as the horses pulled the carriage away from his home. He leaned back against the seat and closed his eyes. He’d been so close to making one of the biggest mistakes of his life. He wasn’t sure how he’d managed to remain strong as long as he had.

  It had taken a little longer than he had anticipated for everything to be prepared for his departure. A whole hour had passed after he left his son’s nursery. The entire time he’d itched to search for Serenity and kiss her one last time. When he returned, she would not be there and it hurt more than he thought it would. No matter how many times he reminded himself it was for the best, he couldn’t shake the feeling he’d lost something profound.

  There was no going back now. He’d pushed her away, and now he had to live with those consequences. What choice did he have? He couldn’t very well marry her and make her a duchess. She’d make a horrible lady in society. Hell, society would thumb their noses at her. Serenity wouldn’t give a damn what they thought, and she’d continue as she pleased. Admittedly, it was one of the traits he admired most about her. She was the most self-assured woman he’d ever met. Perhaps she wouldn’t have made a terrible duchess. It was more he’d have made a dreadful husband.

  “Hell,” he muttered. “I’m turning into a maudlin female.”

  He scrubbed his hands over his face and considered his options. If he turned the carriage around and went after her, he’d be delayed. What was more important? His feelings or his country’s stability? In another time, that wouldn’t have been a question. He would dismiss his personal life and do what he had to for king and country. Something inside of him changed irrevocably when he’d met Serenity though. The heart he’d believed dead had come to life.

  How long had the carriage been moving while he contemplated what he wanted? He stared out the window and took in his surroundings. He’d been lost in his own mind so long, they’d journeyed a good distance from his home. At least an hour had passed. Brandon sighed. There was no going back now. She might not even be at the castle. He wasn’t sure what she had to do to return home. Serenity might already be back in her own time.

  The carriage slowed down and stopped jerking Brandon from his thoughts. What was going on now? There was no reason for them to stop, and he sure as hell hadn’t given them any indication he wanted to. Were there highwaymen on the road? He reached underneath the carriage seat and pulled out a pistol and cocked it. The carriage door flew open, and he prepared for the worst, holding his weapon steady. He was ready to fire, and only his training held him back from doing so—and it was a good thing he had. To his surprise, a woman with mahogany red hair and cobalt blue eyes greeted him. She was dressed scandalously in men’s breeches and a waistcoat that hugged her breasts.

  “Serenity,” he said harshly. “What the bloody hell are you wearing?”

  She glanced down at her attire and then back at him. “That’s all you have to say?” She shook her head in bewilderment. “Not what are you doing here or it’s good to see you. The first thing that pops out of that mouth of yours is to berate me on my clothing?”

  Brandon opened and closed his mouth several times. She did have a valid point. He’d been so shocked to see her dressed in man’s clothing he hadn’t stopped to think about why she was there. She shouldn’t be, but he couldn’t find any reason to be mad about that. He’d been contemplating returning for her, and if he hadn’t wasted so much time in indecision, he’d have done so.

  “One exceedingly disastrous dilemma at a time,” he replied. “I can’t take you anywhere wearing that.” He waved his hand up and down, gesturing at her clothing. “Who do you think you’re fooling with it? Anyone with eyes will be able to tell you’re female.”

  She grinned. “I fooled you long enough to get this far.”

  “No,” he said evenly. “You didn’t. I saw through it immediately.” Hadn’t he?

  “If you had, we wouldn’t have made it this far,” she replied a little too proud of herself. “Since I was sitting next to the driver when you stepped into the carriage.”

  Had she? Brandon hadn’t taken a second to look at the driver’s box. He’d been too focused on escaping as fast as possible. It wasn’t until he was inside the carriage he’d reconsidered his actions. He couldn’t very well admit that to her now. She’d crow about it, and he’d have to do something to quiet her. That would lead to kissing, and well, kissing led to other things. Brandon closed his eyes and prayed for strength because suddenly he had ideas of how they could pass the time in the carriage. Serenity probably wouldn’t do anything to discourage those ideas either.

  “I was a tad preoccupied,” he replied dryly. “Or I would have most certainly noticed you.”

  “You’re probably right,” she said hopping into the carriage closing the door behind her. She rapped on the side and it started moving once again. “And I unashamedly took advantage of it. I’m not going to apologize, so don’t ask me to.”

  How could he when he was glad she was there? He had time to figure out exactly what he wanted now. She wasn’t returning to her time as he stupidly had suggested. Serenity schemed more than he did. Something he hadn’t thought possible. She was his match in more ways than one.

  “I’d expect nothing less from you,” he told her. “When have you ever apologized for anything?”

  His lips twitched as she stared at him. Her face was so open. Every emotion traveled across her features in succession. First her eyes widened in surprise, then they narrowed in puzzlement, followed by a nod of acquiescence.

  “You’re right,” she said. “I don’t make excuses for who I am. You either accept it or you don’t.” She leaned forward, resting her el
bows on her knees. He couldn’t get used to her in breeches. “Why are you so tolerant of my presence? I expected rage and orders to return. This quiet acceptance is unnerving.”

  He shrugged. “I can’t very well do anything to change our circumstances now. You’ve managed to maneuver us into a scandal. I suppose that won’t matter much once you return home.”

  She snorted. “There is no scandal, Your Grace.” Serenity leaned back against the seat. “At least not yet. We can rectify that at the first opportunity.”

  Wouldn’t she be surprised if he decided to accept her offer? He might decide to test those waters at a later date. At the moment, he was enjoying having her along for the ride. The journey to Manchester would be long and boring. They had several stops before they reached their destination. Changing horses, resting, and at some point, stopping entirely for the night. He didn’t plan on traveling once dark set in. There was no need to rush—yet. Now that Serenity was with him, he’d take a slower pace and figure out how he wanted to proceed with her. Instead of pushing her away as he often did, it was time to take a different tact.

  “Nothing you say shocks me anymore,” he said. “You can cease trying.”

  She laughed. “Believe it or not, every word I utter doesn’t have to do with you. I don’t utter statements with the pure desire to see how you react.” She bit her lip and then said, “That’s just a side benefit.”

  Brandon stared at her mouth, intrigued. He wanted to reach across the carriage and pull her into his lap. Then ravage her mouth with his until they were breathless with desire. His cock ached inside his breeches. He hadn’t been a randy youth who sampled a lot of different women. Perhaps if he had, he wouldn’t be in the state he currently found himself in: one breath away from losing control over a slip of a woman.

  “My dear,” he said without an ounce of emotion. “One day I’m going to do something that will shock you. Then we will see how much you enjoy—” He paused a moment. “What did you call it? A side benefit?” Brandon lifted a brow. “On that day, I’ll have the last laugh.”