Ink and Ashes

by Valynne E. Maetani

  I pointed my chin to the family room. “You’ll have to wait until Forrest wakes up, because he’s driving.”

  Loud snores came from the couch where Forrest’s long legs hung over the edge.

  “I’ll let him sleep a little longer,” Nicholas said.

  Dad came in from the garage with a towel slung over his shoulder. He wiped the sweat off his forehead and came into the kitchen to give Mom a kiss.

  “Morning,” he said. He glanced over to where Forrest slept. “Since when do we allow boys to sleep over?”

  “Since forever.” Mom patted his chest. “Back down, Papa Bear.”

  I sighed. Getting Dad to accept my relationship with Forrest was going to take a miracle.

  Dad walked to the kitchen table. “Parker! Avery! Let’s go.”

  Parker jolted awake, and Fed popped up from the couch. Avery stood slowly and took his glass over to the sink.

  On Dad’s way out, he tapped Nicholas on the shoulder. “Are you joining us for training?”

  Nicholas hopped to his feet. “Yep. Just let me grab my shoes.”

  “I’m coming too.” Fed folded the blanket and set it on the couch before he went to the garage.

  “Breakfast will be ready in thirty minutes,” Mom called to Dad as she hacked at some mushrooms.

  Thirty minutes. My brothers only had to train for thirty minutes, while I was out there for an hour and a half. I set the table and put the clean dishes in the dishwasher away.

  Forrest ambled into the kitchen as I was putting the last bowl away. His Ravens T-shirt looked clean, but the nasty sweatpants and his disheveled hair made him look homeless. He sat on the barstool across from Mom at the island. “Morning,” he said to me and Mom. “Where is everyone?”

  “Training.” I sat next to him and rested my hand on his leg, hidden from Mom’s view by the counter of the island. “I assumed you didn’t want to join them.”

  He wiped the sleep from his eyes. “Yeah. I don’t think it’s a good idea to put myself in a situation where your dad can legitimately beat me up.”

  Mom moved the cutting board from the island to the sink. “You just have to be patient with him. He’ll come around,” she said with her back to us. She turned on the water at the sink and rinsed off the knife.

  “Go home and shower,” I said to him. “You kinda stink.”

  Forrest sniffed his armpits. He winced. “Okay, yeah. I’ll be back soon. Save some breakfast for me.” He sneaked a kiss while Mom’s back was still turned, then slipped on his shoes and went out the back door.

  By the time the boys had finished training, Forrest had returned, and we all ate together. Before everyone went to their respective houses, they helped clear the table and put the dirty dishes in the dishwasher. Dad’s posture remained stiff throughout the whole meal, and I worried even more that my first dance with Forrest was going to be an awkward one.

  I went to my room and wanted to crawl back into bed, but I knew my mind would only go into its whirlwind of unanswered questions. There were a couple of hours before I needed to start getting ready for the dance, so I pulled my backpack off the floor and sat down at my desk.

  A couple of days after I’d come home from the hospital, I’d stopped having memory loss of new events that had happened after the accident. The doctor had called it post-traumatic amnesia, and the fact that it hadn’t lasted very long was a good sign. But lapses in memory from before the accident were still there, and I always second-guessed myself about anything that came back to me. Before I started working, I decided to run a search for the Copper Cactus. Their website said they distributed antique furniture, and they were located in Phoenix, Arizona. That seemed to be consistent with what I remembered Dad saying. With my mind at ease, I was able to do research for my history project with Mumps for the next few hours until it was time to get ready.

  Since I had only decided to go to the Halloween dance a week before, I didn’t have much time to think about a costume. Mom said Forrest and I could use some of the kimonos in the attic, an easy enough solution for the both of us. Parker, on the other hand, had been planning for weeks. I had mentioned to Parker that it might be a good idea for him to ask Mika, and he’d agreed. They’d decided Parker would go as a bowling ball, and Mika as a bowling pin. Fed and Ashley were going as Tuxedo Mask and Sailor Moon and I hadn’t asked Nicholas or Avery what their costumes were, but I’d find out soon.

  I took out the purple kimono Mom had put in my closet a few days ago and dressed it over a T-shirt and a pair of shorts. Even though I only wore kimonos on special occasions, like the annual Obon Festival, it was often enough that I’d learned how to tie the sash properly. I took the obi off the hanger and wrapped it around my waist, tying the bow in front of me, and then turning the sash around my waist until the bow was at my back. But I needed Mom’s help with my hair, pulling it into a tight bun on the top of my head. She added a kanzashi as the final touch, sticking the flowered hair ornament through the bun so part of it hung over the left side of my forehead and ear.

  The doorbell sounded, and Mom left to answer it. I heard her invite Forrest inside, which seemed strange because he always let himself in, and when he did, he came through the back door, never the front. I bounced down the stairs.

  He caught me off guard when I saw him. I’d seen Forrest dressed up before, but he’d never been dressed up for me, and never in a kimono. His hair had a sun-kissed shine, and his deep blue eyes, full and fixed on me, seemed even brighter against the blue fabric of his costume. At his waist was Parker’s samurai sword and an obi that hadn’t been properly tied, but I didn’t care.

  Mom tugged on my arm. “Like seeing snow for the first time,” she whispered.

  She grabbed the camera and took lots of pictures. Parker wobbled down the stairs, the sides of the big black ball skimming the wall and stair rail, and Avery came down dressed as a skateboarder. His costume didn’t look any different than the way he dressed every day: flannel shirt with a white T-shirt underneath, shorts hanging low on his waist, and a ball cap. They said their hellos before leaving to pick up their dates.

  Dad entered the living room and pulled Mom to the side. I didn’t catch much of their conversation, but I think Dad was complaining about his costume. Mom told him he could stay home if he didn’t want to wear it. He took one glance at me and stopped. His face softened. “You look very beautiful.” And then his face hardened. He scrunched his lips and looked right at Forrest. “Three words,” he mumbled. “Concealed. Weapons. Permit.” He left the room.

  Forrest raised a brow. “I didn’t know he had a gun.”

  “I only found out recently when the burning tree thing happened.” I put my hand over my face. “And I’m sorry. I’m sure he meant to say hello,” I said. “I’d try to explain, but there is no rational explanation.”

  Mom took Forrest by the hand and patted it. “Don’t you worry about him. They’re his issues, not yours,” she said. “You may not be able to tell very well right now, but he loves you like a son. I’ll talk to him.” She patted him again then let go.

  Forrest laced his fingers through mine. “I know your dad, and I knew what I was getting into a long time ago,” he said. “I’m always up for a challenge.”

  Without knocking, Nicholas strolled through the door dressed in a pinstripe suit as a gangster. A lithesome girl hung on his arm in a nude-colored dress that looked like it came from the lingerie department. She had a fringe headband around her forehead and said she was supposed to be a flapper. I didn’t recognize her as someone who went to our school, but Nicholas had always managed to meet girls from all over.

  Mom told Nicholas how handsome he looked and then introduced herself to “Monet.” She snapped more pictures of them and then took more of all of us together.

  “You actually look presentable, Kiki,” Nicholas said. “I can almost tell there’s a girl inside there.”

  “You don’t look half bad yourself,” I said, “when you’ve showered.”


  Mom snapped more pictures and finally let us leave the house. “See you guys there.”

  Closing the front door behind me, I threw back my head. “Ugh, I thought she was never going to let us out of there.”

  Forrest stopped me and gave me a kiss on the front porch. “I have something for you.” He pulled the sword from the sheath at his sash, then tipped the sheath until something rolled into his hand. Once he’d gotten the sword and sheath back into the right place at his side, he uncurled his fingers and held out his hand. In the center of his palm was a plastic ring, with a white plastic gem on top. With his other hand, he took the ring and slid it onto my ring finger. It was a snug fit, but I wasn’t going to lose it unless someone pried it off my finger.

  I held out my hand in front of me to get a better look. How had he held on to this for so long? If he had given it to me back then, I was positive I would have lost it by now. So many things he did and that I was still discovering made me love him that much more. “I love it.” I pulled the front of his kimono toward me so I could kiss him. “Thank you.”

  He kissed me again. “You look really beautiful, Claire.”

  “Thanks. You too.” I quickly realized what I had said. “Not beautiful—I meant you look good too—handsome. You know what I meant, right?” I couldn’t believe I had tripped over my words. This was Forrest. It’s not like we hadn’t hung out a million times.

  He laughed and gave my waist a squeeze.

  “So where are we going to dinner?” I asked.

  BY THE TIME we made it to the school, the sun had faded and the sky had filled with threatening clouds. The far wall of the gym had been decorated with a backdrop of a haunted castle, lit by red torches at the sides of the portcullis. Bales of hay and large pumpkins lined the pathway to the corner, where a scarecrow stood surrounded by cornstalks.

  Katie, from my soccer team, spotted us and slinked over in a pioneer dress and boots. “Forrest is so hot!” she whispered. She smoothed her blonde hair underneath her bonnet as she eyed me from head to toe. “Actually, he’s the lucky one. You look great! Where did you get that costume?”

  “Thanks. I . . . you look pretty awesome yourself,” I whispered back. Before I could answer her question, though, I was waving good-bye as Forrest pulled me to the dance floor.

  Kimi, Mika, and Lanie were already dancing there in a big group with their dates. Mika, in her bowling-pin costume, waddled away from Parker, grabbing Kimi and Lanie’s hands. The girls came up to me, squealing.

  “You guys are so cute together,” Kimi said in a hushed voice. Forrest stepped away, but he could still hear her. The sequins on her disco-queen jumpsuit reflected light, as she bobbed up and down to the rhythm of “The Monster Mash,” an upbeat song that they couldn’t help but sing along with as it played.

  “Thanks,” I said. “You too. With your dates, I mean.”

  Kimi winked at me. “Sure. I’m so jealous!”

  “Love your hair,” Mika said. She lowered her voice. “And thanks for putting a bug in your brother’s ear.”

  “I’m glad he asked you,” I said.

  “We’re on our way to the bathroom. Wanna come?” Lanie asked, tugging at a strawberry-blonde curl. She was a perfect Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz, and I’d heard rumors that Roarke was supposed to be Toto, but I hadn’t seen him yet.

  “I’m fine, thanks,” I said, and they all ran off. I turned to Forrest. “I know I’m completely illiterate when it comes to female friendships and the associated social interactions, but that’s something I don’t think I’ll ever understand. The bathroom doesn’t seem like a fun place to kick back and gossip.”

  “I don’t get girls either.” He put his arm around me and squeezed my shoulder.

  Mom and Dad were stationed underneath the backdrop at the table with drinks. Mom wore a bright green dress that fell just above her knees with a headband full of flower petals framing her face. I’d never seen Dad with such a dour expression, except for the time Parker had “borrowed” his car and gotten a “flat tire” which really meant a broken axle. His black suit was like the kind he wore almost daily, but on his head was a black-and-yellow striped bee hat that surrounded his head and tied underneath his chin. Bug eyes were attached at his forehead, and twelve-inch antennae protruded from the top with big black pom-poms at the end.

  Mom probably thought it was hilarious, but I’m pretty sure I was as embarrassed as Dad was. Forrest took one look, and his jaw dropped. I pulled him far away to the wall so he could release howls of laughter. “Whatever you do,” I said, “do not let him see you. He will never forgive you. And I’m pretty sure he will never forgive Mom.”

  Through a gym window, I saw a bolt of lightning streak across the dark sky. A crack of thunder shook the building and sent vibrations through the walls.

  Forrest’s lips grazed my ear, and he whispered, “It’s raining.”

  I yanked on his arm, pulling him toward the door. “Let’s go,” I said, dragging him across the floor. The rest of the guys were headed to the exit too. Dancing in the rain had been an Axis Powers tradition that started years ago, the day after Nicholas and Fed’s father left. It had been a hot summer day, and then without warning, the sky opened up, huge drops landing everywhere.

  Nicholas had walked outside and stopped in the middle of the street. He looked to the sky, held out his hands, and closed his eyes, rain pouring down on him in torrential streams. We all knew how angry and sad Nicholas was, even though he wouldn’t talk about it. Parker went outside and stood next to him, and the rest of us followed. Nicholas started to dance, so the rest of joined in, dancing like crazed lunatics. And when the rain stopped, there was still sadness underneath Nicholas’s expression, but a lot of the darkness in his face had melted away.

  There were only a couple of times it had rained when we were at a dance, but if we were all together, it didn’t matter what we were wearing. With everything that had been going on, it was like the sky knew what we needed.

  Like me, Forrest had worn a T-shirt and a pair of shorts underneath, and we shed our costumes at the door so they wouldn’t get wet. Those who could do the same followed suit, leaving everything in a pile by the door, and tore outside. Before I left, I took my phone from my shorts and slid it into a secret pocket in my obi. Dad tugged Mom behind us with swift feet.

  Outside, large drops of icy water pelted my face and ran down my neck. The cool wind blew clumps of my hair until it stuck to my cheeks. Parker and Mika both splashed in puddles, barefoot. Ashley didn’t hesitate to join in the fun and tried to teach everyone else the foxtrot, but coordinated feet on a soccer field didn’t necessarily translate to coordinated dancing feet.

  Forrest spun me in circles until I almost fell over. Even Mom and Dad joined in. The fresh taste of rain sloshed across my tongue, and I laughed until my sides hurt.

  The air gave us goose bumps, and before long we were all shivering, but we’d played soccer games in blizzards. After a few minutes, the downpour slowed to a sprinkle and then a mist. The clouds parted, and the moon created a silhouette of the Wasatch Mountains in the background.

  Everyone started to go inside, but Forrest and I trailed behind. Water seeped into my shoes, so I kicked them off and drained them, using Forrest for a support.

  When I stood back up, Forrest reached over and pushed some of my wet hair to the side. “It’s good to see you happy again,” he said. “I was beginning to think you’d kidnapped my best friend.”

  “You mean girlfriend?” I said, shivering uncontrollably.

  His face lit up. “Yeah, that.”

  I laughed. “Sounds weird, doesn’t it?”

  “I think I can get used to it.” Forrest tilted back his head and let the water slip down his face. He spun me out along his arm, then rolled me back in. His hand pressed into the small of my back, holding me against his chest for a moment longer than I expected. He sneaked a peek to see if my parents were watching, and then pressed his lips hard against mine before
he spun me away again, laughing.

  Forrest leaned in so close his long eyelashes tickled my forehead. “Let’s go inside before you freeze to death.”

  He steered us in the direction of the building so we could go back inside. The school building’s warm air rushed over me like a blanket. I’d have to stand under the hand dryers in the bathroom for a long time, but it had been worth it.

  After we picked up our costumes, Forrest took my hand and pulled me away from the entrance and behind a cardboard mummy. I draped the kimono over my arm and held it away from my body so it wouldn’t get wet.

  “Let me take that,” he said.

  I handed him the kimono and obi, laying it over the top of his on his arm, and then he walked away. About five feet from us was a stack of baled hay where he set the kimonos and obis carefully and returned. “What did your mom mean about the seeing snow thing?” he asked.

  “Mom grew up in Hawaii,” I said, “so she’d never seen snow until she was a teen, when her family vacationed in Colorado for Christmas. She said she wondered how she could have missed out on something so beautiful for so many years, and when she first saw my father, it was like seeing snow for the first time.”

  For a moment, I thought about all the pain my father’s death had caused her and wondered if she would have been better off if she’d never seen snow in the first place.

  “Claire?” He cupped my chin and focused on my face, his lips stretching into a broad smile.

  “What’s so funny?” I asked, still shaking.

  “You sort of disappeared on me there for a second,” he said.

  “Sorry.”

  He hooked his arm around my waist, and we swayed as if the music had slowed. “Your expression reminded me of a time last year in art class.”

  “I can’t believe you convinced me to take that stupid class.”

  My rain-soaked clothes felt heavy. He rubbed his warm hands on my arms. “Remember how you picked a panda when we were assigned to paint an animal with fur? And it was turning out to be a lot more work than you had expected? You had this expression that looked like the one you had a moment ago. You looked stressed, and your eyes and nose were scrunched up.” He mimicked my face.