Rozalyn 5

by Shan

  The moment I got inside of my room and out of my heels, there was a light knock at the door. I furrowed my brows and walked over to the door. Tamar was the only person that I knew where I was, so it had to be him, but I was kind of skeptical since it had only been about fifteen minutes since I sent him that text. I cracked the door opened and saw him standing there. His tuxedo was disheveled; his tie was barely hanging around his neck and shirt had been unbuttoned showing a huge part of his bulging chest.

  "I wasn't expecting you so soon," I said and stepped to the side so that he could come in. I closed the door behind him and locked it. Before I could even turn around, Tamar grabbed me and pulled me into him. He broke down and cried into my arms. He pulled me down to the floor with him as he fell, and I rubbed my hands through his head.

  "I don't have anybody now!" he cried. "That was why I made up with him because he was all I had left."

  "I know Tamar. It's gonna be okay."

  "What the fuck man? Ron didn't fuck with nobody. I had to force that nigga to work. That nigga was always too scared of getting locked up again. Fuck!"

  "I know. I know how he was. But like you said, he don't have to worry about anything now. He's in a better place."

  Tamar began to cry even harder. We've been through this before, and I knew that it had taken a lot out of him each time he had to go through it. He was the last man standing, and he didn't have anyone to pick him up when he fell, but me. I knew that no matter what woman he left me for, I was always gonna be his rock; no matter if he wanted to admit it or not.

  I held on to Tamar for a good hour until we'd both fell asleep on the floor. I was later awakened by the constant vibration of his phone. I eased it out of his pocket and checked the screen to see that it was Keysha calling him. I shook my head and placed the phone onto the floor and then slowly got up.

  I don't know why, but I was suddenly angry about her calling him. I huffed out a ragged breath and then headed to the bathroom to take a shower and get into some comfortable clothes. I turned the shower on and turned it all the way over to the H. I needed the heat to stimulate my pores and calm me down.

  Stripping down to the nothing, I stepped into the shower and tensed up as the water hit my body. I ducked my head under the water and allowed the water to flow through my hair feeling it instantly curl up. I moaned slightly because the water was so damn hot, but damn it felt good.

  "Ahh!" I jumped feeling a set of hands wrap around my body. Tamar reached and turned the knob back some causing the water to instantly cool. I rolled my eyes, but rested my head into his chest when I felt his fingers massaging my clit.

  "Thank you, babe," he whispered into my ear. I didn't say anything, but I knew why he was thanking me. I didn't feel that it was necessary for him to thank me for something that I didn't mind doing. It was what I was supposed to do. He would forever be my friend regardless if we weren’t forever husband and wife.

  "Hmmm," I moaned as he slid that same finger inside of me. "We can't keep doing this." I looked up at him, and he covered his lips with mine. The steamy water fell down on us and slid down our bodies.

  "We can do whatever it is we wanna do. You gonna forever be mine, remember that a'ight?"

  "You're so selfish. You can’t go be with another woman and expect me to lie in wait."

  "But don't daddy always come home?"

  "Daddy, needs to stay at home."

  "So, just maybe there was a little miscommunication between us. Maybe I allowed your past to affect what we had, or maybe I just needed a reason to blame you for my fuck ups. I can't honestly say what it is, but you know I got issues. I've always had them and always will. At the end of the day, you know that I love you and will never love anyway the way I love you. It's fucked up how I've been treating you and you didn’t deserve it."

  "Are you apologizing?" I asked and grabbed the bar of soap.

  "Yea in so many words I am."

  "What does this mean?"

  "It means that I can't come home right now, but I will be there."

  I sighed and pulled away from Tamar. This is the shit that pissed me off because Tamar wasn't doing what he had to do; he was doing what he wanted to do. He didn't have to stay in the drug game, but chose to because he just couldn't walk away.

  "I need you to do me a favor," Tamar said and pulled me towards him.

  "What?" I asked with a roll of my eyes.

  "I already talked to my mom and she agreed to keep the kids. I need you to drop them off with her and then go and see Latoya. Act like you there to comfort her and see if you can find out what happened with my brother."

  "Really?"

  "Come on man. I really need you to do this for me. I can't let her get away with this shit if she had something to do with him being killed. Just go down there and chill with her for a few days. See if she's acting funny or anything like that."

  "So, when I'm done when I can expect you to come home. I'm not withdrawing the divorce papers or the separation agreement until you do."

  "I promised Keysha a year," he said and I immediately pushed him. He had to grab hold of the shower to keep from falling. "But if I get what I've been trying to get out of her, then I will be home before that."

  "And I'm just supposed to be okay with this? What if I was to do some shit like this?"

  "You not that stupid though. I'm securing our future, the future of our kids, and the future of their kids."

  "I'm sick of that excuse. You know what. I'll do this for you Tae; I'll go and talk to Latoya and see what's going on, but I'm not gonna continue to be a dummy for you. Just sign the papers please so I can move on with my life," I told him and tried to step out of the shower. He yanked me back by my hair.

  "Are you serious right now?"

  "Yes, I'm serious Tae. You need to fuckin' choose. Either her or your family. I'm not doing this anymore. It doesn't make any sense. Our futures are secured, and you know that already. This is something you're doing because you don't know nothing else, but it’s damaging us. Now let me go!"

  I got out of the shower and grabbed a towel to dry off with. I don't understand what the fuck he was thinking. How could he even ask me to sit around for a whole year while he sleeps with another woman? That was the dumbest shit I've ever heard in my life.

  I snatched my clothes up from the floor and stormed out of the bathroom. I was so tired. Tired of having this same damn argument over and over again. I just wish Tamar would let me go until he made his mind up that he was ready to be a man. I grew up, so what the fuck was taking him so long to do so.

  "I can't continue to play stupid for you. Don't you see how bad this is hurting me?" I screamed when I heard him walk out of the bathroom.

  "What the fuck do you want me to do Rozalyn?"

  "I want you to grow the fuck up, Tae! I want you to leave the game alone and be there for me and the kids. Haven't you had enough of this shit? Aren't you tired of seeing me crying all the time? Don’t you want me to happy, Tae?"

  "Yea, what kind of question is that?"

  "Well then walk away. Come home. Please?" I begged.

  Tamar sighed as he wrapped his arms around me. He leaned over and kissed me on my forehead. He didn't say anything, but my heart was already breaking because I knew he didn't want to. He didn't want to walk away from the life, and there was nothing I could do to get him to see that we were more important.

  "It's cool. Do what makes you happy, but I'm gonna do what makes me happy. You can't keep controlling me. I'm not gonna let you. Go back to your girl."

  "She's not my girl."

  "I'm sure she believes that she is. Bye Tamar. Leave," I told him and pulled away from him. I turned my back to him and silently cried. I just wished he stayed the fuck away from me. Why did he have to keep coming around stirring up my damn emotions?

  C hapter 25

  Tamar

  Going Home

  Oh just hold on we're going home (going home)

  Just hold on we're going home (g
oing home)

  It's hard to do these things alone (things alone)

  Just hold on we're going home (going home, going home)

  Hold on

  ~Drake~

  A few days had gone by since Taron's funeral, and I had sent Rozalyn to Miami to chill with Latoya for a few days. I had come back to Atlanta to be with Keysha and finish what I had started. A little of it was more than me just finishing what I started. I actually liked the time that me and Keysha spent together and wasn't quite ready to let it go.

  For now, I would continue to play both sides until I was ready to make a decision on who I wanted to choose in the end. Yep, like Rozalyn said, I was being selfish. I wanted my cake and I wanted to eat it too.

  I knew that I had Rozalyn to forever fall back on and I knew that she wasn't going to leave me like she said. She could file papers all day long, but she wasn't going anywhere. I was for certain of that.

  Although I knew I wasn't right to ask Rozalyn to sit by and wait for me while I had a relationship with another woman, I couldn't give her permission to do what she wanted until I made up my mind.

  I didn't want her with anyone else. I didn't want anyone else around my kids. Thinking that she had fucked someone else is what landed me in Keysha's bed anyway. I did stupid shit when she was fucking around on me—or if I thought she was fucking around on me.

  Nah, her ass just needs to sit the fuck at home and take care of my kids. Fuck all that other shit. She don't need nobody else. I'll come through and dick her down on a regular. She'll be good; I thought to myself and went to send Rozalyn another text.

  "Hey," Keysha said as she came into the room wearing a two piece lingerie set.

  "What's up babe?"

  "How are you holding up?" She asked.

  "I'm doing better today than I have been. Just waiting to hear back from Rozalyn. I've been texting her for the past couple of hours and haven't gotten a response yet."

  "Oh yea, she's out there with your brother's baby mama, right? You think that was a good idea considering she possibly had something to do with your brother being killed?"

  "Roz and Latoya used to be friends. I don't think she would do anything to hurt her. I just want her to find out if she seems out of it, or if anything seems to be out of place. If she acting weird or anything like that," I told Keysha hoping that I hadn't made a mistake by sending Rozalyn out to Latoya's.

  "Hmm, maybe you should call her. A couple of hours is a long time to not hear anything from her."

  I laid back on the bed and grabbed my phone. Keysha climbed on top of me and started running her finger down the center of my chest. She leaned over and kissed on my ear and then began to suck on my neck.

  Just as I went to call Rozalyn, her name suddenly popped up on my screen with a call from her. I answered the phone and brought the phone up to my ear.

  "Roz, what's up? Why you ain't answering my text?"

  ”Tae!" Rozalyn yelled sounding a little strange. I pushed Keysha up off of me and set straight up in the bed.

  "What's wrong? Hello!"

  "Tae, I killed them!"

  "Killed who? Babe, what's going on?" I shot up from the bed and frantically searched the room for my keys.

  "I ain't have a choice. We got into a fight because I told her that I felt like she was acting strange—and then she just came at me—and then somehow I just shot her…and her mama came in—and I killed her. It's so much blood.

  And then the baby—the baby is out. The baby came out of her—Oh, my God. And I don't know what to do, but I need you, please. I think the police will be here soon. I can't stay here; I gotta go," Rozalyn cried sounding like she was all over the place.

  "Okay, calm down. I'm a get there as soon as I can."

  "Okay, but I gotta get away from this house. There's too much blood and the police have been called. I gotta go Tamar. I feel so fuckin' sick right now. I can't believe I had to kill them. Oh my God, the baby is breathing. What am I supposed to do?"

  "Roz, don't touch shit. Leave that muthafuckin' baby there. I'm a call somebody to pick you up in the area, okay? Get the fuck outta of there now. Find you a safe place to go to and call me and let me know where you are."

  "But the baby is alive and what about Keymani? I can't leave them here," she said.

  "You can't take them with you either! Get the fuck out of there now!"

  "Shit, the police are here," Rozalyn whispered into the phone.

  "I'm about to catch the first plane—" I took the phone away from my ear and looked at the screen. Rozalyn's name was still on the screen and the call was still connected but I could no longer hear anything. "Rozalyn! Roz!"

  "I gotta go," Rozalyn said into the phone and suddenly the call dropped.

  So, I know I said that I wasn't going to leave a cliff hanger and that this would be the last installment, but the overwhelming response I've been getting about never ending the series has got me to feeling like maybe I could squeeze one more in for the lovers of Rozalyn and Tamar. And also my lovely publisher David Weaver/SBR Publications feel that I should do another installment, as well.

  But just one more. Although I love Tamar and Rozalyn, I am ready to start another young hood love story. Unfortunately, in order for me to move on to do that, I will have to end this series.

  For those of you that want to keep reading, hit me up and let me know your thoughts shanae0808@yahoo.com or friend me on my new facebook page www.facebook.com/myss.shan.7

  Shan