Identical Disaster (The Sterling Shore Series Book 8)

by C. M. Owens

  He looks about as confused as a person can be, but Bora mutters something about duct-taping my mouth and shutting hers.

  “Married?” Dad laughs. “Hell no. Your mother and I are not long-termers. We just have needs, and your mother is a wildcat in the bed. Still the best lay I’ve had to this day, and I’m still her favorite. It’s this thing I do with my tongue—”

  “Stop!” Bora and I both shout in unison. Now I’m the one throwing up in my mouth.

  “So sick,” Bora groans, gagging as she tries to choke back her own need to vomit.

  “What?” Dad asks innocently. “Helen and Mick are getting married. Just found that out this morning. Is that what you’re talking about?

  Bora and I both exchange a look, and we grin, forgetting the disgusting overshare. It’s about damn time Helen and Mick got together, but I wasn’t expecting them to get married.

  “No,” I say, turning back to face him. “I was talking about you and Mom, but I’m happy to hear about Helen and Mick.”

  “No, your mom and I are not getting married. We’ve been hooking up for years. Nothing has changed. We fuck like rabbits when we see each other, and—”

  “I’m done. Can’t listen to anymore. You’re ruining sex for me!” Bora shouts, causing several people to look in and really get a sick thought in their heads. She storms out and throws the door open, mimicking a dramatic teenager stomping off in a huff.

  Great. As if we need more rumors spreading.

  Fortunately, none of them know he’s our father. That would be one hell of a breaking news story for the tabloids.

  And now I’m puking in my mouth again.

  This morning started off so much better. Why did I leave Jax’s home?

  “So you’re not getting married?” I ask Dad again. “And leave out the stomach-churning details, please.”

  He shakes his head, confused. “Why on earth would we get married after all these years?”

  It all clicks, and I roll my eyes while shaking my head. Bora has been manipulating me her entire life.

  They wasted so many years. Blah. Blah. Blah. It was all a ploy to get me back with Jax.

  I’d hate her a little for manipulating me if I didn’t love her for it.

  “So, anyway. Ireland. Bora’s impossible, but you’re the good one. Let’s get away. I need a trip.”

  “We were just in Hawaii not too long ago,” I remind him, shutting the door before anyone can eavesdrop.

  “Hawaii was eons ago,” he exaggerates.

  “I can’t go, Dad.”

  “Sure you can,” he argues, batting a hand like he’s swatting away what I’m saying. “This place will run fine without you. I was thinking we’d make it a backpacking trip. Like the one we had a few years ago. We could—”

  “I can’t,” I say again, sighing.

  “There’s this quaint little B and B,” he goes on, ignoring me, “and there’s no Wifi, which means no distractions. We—”

  “Dad, I’m not going,” I say firmer. “I have a life here, and I also have a boyfriend.”

  He cocks an eyebrow at me, and then a frown creases his lips. “Bo, you can’t be serious. He already hurt you. Hell, we almost lost you because of him. You can’t—”

  I clamp my hand over his mouth instead of letting him continue to speak like I normally do. “You can stop talking now, because I’ve already stopped listening. Turns out, this happens to be my life. Thank you for caring, though.”

  His eyes grow confused as a smile forms on my lips.

  “Have fun in Ireland. Call me when you get back.”

  I pull my hand back and pat him on the cheek before walking away, feeling better than I’ve felt in years. Vince Jaggons is speechless. That in itself is an accomplishment.

  For the first time ever, I’m not stewing in a pot of the things I wish I had said.

  Now I can’t figure out why I didn’t do this sooner.

  EPILOGUE

  JAX

  BO: I just got in a fight.

  My eyebrows go up in confusion, and a sense of panic hits me. Before I can type out a reply, she’s messaging me again.

  BO: Not a real fight. It was a fight with me and my car and the awkward parking garage at your apartment building. I should have used the valet service.

  I sigh in relief, but then I get confused again.

  ME: Why did you drive to my place? It’s just a couple of blocks from yours.

  BO: Because I had to carry something to your place… Sorry, but I’m a coffee snob, and your regular coffee pot wasn’t cutting it. Didn’t want to walk around carrying my coffeemaker.

  That has me smiling, because it’s one step closer to asking her to move in. No, I don’t give a damn if it’s too soon. She practically lives with me anyway, or has over the past two weeks.

  I don’t care if we’re breaking all the don’t-move-too-fast rules. I don’t care if it’s a “whirlwind romance.” I really don’t give a shit what anyone thinks, because I know how I feel. And I feel like I want to strangle someone every time I have to spend too much time away from my girl.

  Is it unhealthy? Still don’t give a shit. Everyone else can fuck off, because I’m happy, and so is she.

  I also don’t care if she’d rather me move in with her. I’d happily move again as long as she said yes, but she seems to like my smaller apartment over her bigger one, since she’s there all the time.

  ME: You’re supposed to already be at Corbin’s place. Or did you forget?

  BO: Haven’t forgotten… How many people are there?

  ME: I’m here. No one else matters. ;)

  BO: On my way now.

  I smirk, feeling a little smug. This is the day after our second argument. That’s right. We argued. It was a stupid, immature argument about cover hogging—she’s a cover hog, not me. And it was sexy as hell to see her argue and not back down, even if she was completely in the wrong.

  Bo has gotten a backbone, and it looks good on her. Two weeks has been a time of transformation, but she’s still the sweet, sexy, maddening girl I met by fluke. The only thing that has changed is the way she feels about herself and the way she handles others when they try to walk over her.

  No, I don’t try to walk over her, but I do like riling her up. It’s hot when she gets frustrated and actually says what she’s thinking.

  By the way, make-up sex with Bo is fucking epic. It’s on my top ten list of things in life to do as often as possible, even though I don’t want to press my luck too soon.

  No longer does she back down. It’s a lot of growth in a short period of time, but it doesn’t surprise me. Bo is a phenomenon.

  My eyes move over to where Ruby is walking over with Bella, who is typing out something on her phone with furious fingers. Bella is… unique. Not as unique as Britt, but still… unique. That’s the only safe word to use that won’t get me slapped.

  “What’s wrong with you?” I ask Bella as her cheeks flame red and her eyes pop up to meet mine.

  Ruby is holding back a grin while shrugging.

  “Whoever created fucking autocorrect needs to have their eyes stabbed out. When I find them, I may do it myself. In fact, I may craft a voodoo doll for that autocorrect creator and just get to stabbing tonight. Know anything about voodoo dolls?”

  Ruby doubles over, bursting out laughing, and I tilt my head, confused.

  “Why are you planning on stabbing some poor person’s eyes out over autocorrect instead of just turning it off?”

  She glares at me in a way that would make some men’s balls shrivel up. Fortunately, I’ve had worse glares thrown at me, so I’m not affected. Hell, I grew up with Viv, after all.

  “Gee,” she says dryly, “why didn’t I think of that? Of course I’ve turned it off, but my phone is haunted and it keeps cutting itself back on. I can’t make it stop, and I gave up trying a long time ago.”

  “Get a new phone,” Corbin tells her as he comes to wrap his arms around Ruby’s waist and pull her against him.r />
  What the hell is taking Bo so long?

  “Not all of us are rich,” she reminds him, flipping him off.

  “I’ll buy you a new phone,” he tells her with a shrug.

  You’d think he’d just offered her anthrax when she gives him a death glare worse than the one I got.

  “Or not,” he amends, putting Ruby between him and Bella like she can buffer. Ruby is too busy trying not to laugh to say anything.

  “I don’t let people buy me things. You think Wren hasn’t offered?”

  “He has,” Allie—Wren’s fiancée—says, smiling as she walks up. “But only because Bella has messaged him a few times by accident when she meant to be messaging me. She doesn’t have a filter with me,” Allie adds, snickering when Bella flips her off.

  Sheesh. That girl loves that gesture.

  “My phone is haunted by a perverted, sick ghost that is conspiring against me,” Bella goes on.

  Her phone goes off in her hand, and she looks down, eyeing it like it’s evil. Then she blows out a breath before typing something else and cursing under her breath.

  “Are you dating someone?” Ruby asks her randomly. “Because you sure do text a lot.”

  Bella’s head snaps up. “Me? No. No. I’m not seeing anyone. No. Why would you ask that? I need to grab a drink.”

  She practically sprints over to the coolers, and we all exchange a confused look.

  “She’s totally seeing someone,” Allie and Ruby say in unison.

  “And she’s apparently ashamed of him,” Corbin adds. But in the next breath he’s cursing because Maverick Sterling has gotten ahold of the music, and Shake that Ass Bitch starts blaring in the backyard.

  Whistles ring out, Corbin tosses off his shirt, and then he does something hideously embarrassing that he refers to as twerking.

  “That never gets old.” Bo’s voice startles me, and I look over just as she sits down and leans against me, watching the train wreck that some people call Corbin.

  “I could live the rest of my life without ever seeing him shake his ass again,” I point out.

  She laughs lightly while leaning against me. Just as she opens her mouth to speak, Kode Sterling walks over, grinning as he focuses his attention on Bo.

  “Bora sent Tria the samples today of some of those new romance products you’re about to launch.” He grabs the bag Tria is holding, and pulls out a small canister. “Orgasm Lover? Since when do you guys market this stuff? I can’t wait to see what it does to her.”

  Tria blushes and her eyes widen as she scowls at Kode, but he shoots her a wink. She hisses for him to shut up, but he just grins bigger.

  Bo stands, snatches the small tin canister from his hand, and she angrily slams it into the trashcan. She even glares into the trashcan like she’s waiting on it to hop back out and start a fight with her.

  Rolling her shoulders back, she seems pleased with the fact it’s not trying to escape, and she calmly takes her seat by me again.

  “The fuck was that about?” Kode asks her, but he’s more confused than angry.

  Tria looks like she’s trying not to smile.

  “I just saved penguins from extinction,” Bo states randomly. “You’re welcome.”

  Kode’s eyebrows go up, and he shoots a look to me. I shrug, because I have no fucking idea. Even Tria looks confused, so obviously it’s not some inside chick joke.

  “Whatever,” Kode finally says. “Got other stuff in this bag anyway. I’m not showing you either.”

  Bo doesn’t say anything or try to throw away anything else, so Kode walks away, pulling Tria with him.

  “Penguins?” I muse.

  She shifts uncomfortably.

  “Change the subject,” she grumbles.

  She looks annoyed, which makes me want to annoy her more. I just smile as the urge wins out.

  “You hogged the covers again last night,” I say on a sigh, which has her glaring up at me.

  “You’re the cover hog. They’re on the floor next to your side of the bed when I wake up. I have to practically sleep on top of you to get body heat because you keep the room so cold,” she says, already getting feisty.

  So fucking hot.

  “You push them off me,” I tell her with a shrug. “I don’t fight you. I can’t help it that you’re so jealous that you can’t even stand the thought of a sheet or comforter touching what’s yours.”

  She starts to open her mouth, but then she hesitates as she studies my face.

  “You’re trying to piss me off,” she states, narrowing her eyes at me.

  My eyebrows bounce up and down as my cheeky grin spreads. “Last night was epic. I’m shooting for a repeat performance.”

  Her anger dissolves, and she starts laughing while shaking her head. “Unbelievable.”

  She leans into me again, still laughing under her breath. This is definitely not something I saw coming, but I like being surprised. Best fucking surprise ever? Bo Brendon.

  And no, I don’t give a damn if that makes me sound like a pussy either.

  “Oh,” she says, reaching into her purse. “Got you something.”

  “Me?” I smile like a little fucking kid, and I don’t even usually like presents.

  She pulls out a box, and I take it from her, lifting the lid to see what’s inside. My laughter thunders out unexpectedly and draws everyone’s attention as Bo blushes and tries to shush me.

  I take it back. Not all surprises are awesome.

  There’s a fucking tampon keychain in here. Where the hell did she find something like this? And where the hell am I going to put something like this?

  “I couldn’t resist. A friend of mine from marketing had one, so I had her order me one,” Bo whispers, laughing as I pick it up and try to hide it from view.

  “Dude,” Maverick says, swiping it out of my hand before I can stop him.

  Ah hell.

  “Is this… Is this a fucking tampon?” he asks, wrinkling his nose.

  It’s not like it’s a real tampon.

  “It’s for Bo,” I lie, ignoring her when she chokes on her laughter beside me. No way am I owning that shit. It can go on her keychain so I can see it and laugh when I need it, though.

  I even point at her like he doesn’t know who Bo is, just to drive the point home that it’s hers and not mine.

  “Bo knows weird shit,” he says with a confused expression, still clinging to the dead joke. “And I thought Corbin and Ruby were weird,” he says under his breath while handing back the small tampon keychain to me.

  I glare over at Bo, who is still laughing at me, and I roll my eyes when her laughter makes me smile against my will. Yeah, I love her, and embracing the crazy works for us.

  “Could have been worse,” she says, taking the keychain and putting it in her purse. “I could have gotten you a lotion bottle to immortalize the memory of the time you—”

  “You’re trying to piss me off,” I tell her, interrupting her as I study the unusual mischief in her eyes.

  She winks at me. Fucking winks at me.

  “Last night was epic,” she retorts, throwing my words back at me with a massive, cocky grin on her face. “I’m shooting for a repeat performance.”

  I have to adjust myself in my jeans and then glance around to make sure no one just noticed that.

  “Ready to go?” I ask her, sick of socializing now that she’s given me a raging hard-on.

  She still blushes with everyone else, but that mouth has gotten confident and bold around me. I’m special… Yeah. I said it. Fuck off. I enjoy being special to Bo, knowing I’m the only one who gets to see all of her—inside and out.

  “Yep,” she says, smiling as she stands up. Must be nice to be able to stand up and not have to hide the fact you’re turned on. Damn women have it so easy.

  I pull Bo in front of me, and she laughs, knowing why I’m walking stiff-legged behind her. Damn. Now I wish I drove here. Home is at least ten blocks away.

  “You two leaving?” Corbi
n asks, frowning as I continue to keep Bo in front of me.

  “Yeah. Jax has an early morning,” Bo says, smiling. It’s true. I do have an early morning.

  Ruby starts to speak, when all of the sudden we hear a shrill scream. Holy shit… That was Rye screaming like a girl. And why is he jumping around and slapping his crotch?

  Brin is doubled over as her entire body shakes with laughter, and she collapses to her knees as she heaves for air. Rye is still slapping his crotch and hitting high notes no man should ever be heard executing.

  “The hell is wrong with him?” Corbin asks, taking a wary step back even though Rye is several feet away, still doing a weird slap-dance routine.

  “Baby spiders,” Dale says, grimacing as he joins us and gets farther away from the dancing lunatic who is now stripping out of his jeans. “Baby spiders everywhere. Brin is an evil little woman.”

  We watch like it isn’t the most bizarre thing we’ve all ever seen. Well, because it’s not. Rye and Brin are definitely… unique. There’s that safe word again.

  “I don’t understand couples,” Maverick states flatly, coming up behind us.

  “Yeah, I thought we had issues,” I tell him, frowning as poor Rye starts pleading with the spiders like they can actually understand him. Hell, in that octave, I can barely understand him. He might have better luck with dogs at that frequency.

  “What issues?” Maverick asks absently, hissing out a breath when Rye starts slapping his dick a little harder through just his boxers now.

  “I still have to tell my parents that Bora and Bo are two different people,” I announce. It doesn’t sound so bad in comparison to Rye rolling around on the ground while his girlfriend snorts and continues to wipe away her tears.

  “Relationships are just too crazy for me,” Maverick states flatly.

  Bo looks up at me and grins before shrugging. “Embracing the crazy is actually pretty great.”

  As long as no baby spiders ever attack my dick, I wholeheartedly agree.

  THE END

  Keep reading for a glimpse at Perfectly Toxic, the next book in the Sterling Shore series.