Bear Outlaw

by Candace Ayers

  17

  Charlie

  What gives, brother?” One of the men with Axel stepped up and lightly punched him in the arm. “Come on. We came out looking for bitches and we found them.”

  “These women don’t want to be bothered.” Axel’s voice was just a growl at that point. He was standing with his back to us, seemingly growing larger by the second.

  “I didn’t hear them say that.”

  Axel stepped closer to the man and growled in his face. The stench of fear was instantly present in the air. “I’m saying it for them.”

  I could see things possibly escalating quickly and it made my wolf antsy, to say the least. I didn’t like what was happening. I was scared of Sonnie getting hurt, though she seemed to be enjoying herself.

  “Axel, what the hell is wrong with you? We just want to have a little fun.”

  The man who’d rushed to stand in front of Luna backed Axel and turned his snarling face to the crowd of men. “Leave.”

  I wanted to try to ease tension in the crowd of women. I glanced behind me and saw that their expressions were a mixed bag. A few looked scared, but most of them looked annoyed. Of course, there were the wilder women in the group who were edging their way over to the men, but that was fine.

  Another roar shook the ground under my feet. An immediate rush of adrenaline laced with raw lust pumped through me. Axel was growling at his buddies, warning them away from us. It hit me right in the feels that he was defending us. He was protecting me and my friends. Which meant that deep down, maybe he wasn’t a complete fucknugget. That scared me more than anything because I couldn’t afford to start seeing him in some special glow.

  “Look, whoever wants to go party with them, go ahead. The rest of us are going home.” I stayed behind Axel, not wanting to be ogled by the men who’d been eyeing me earlier.

  A handful of the women stepped over and joined the men. It wasn’t very many of them and I could tell the men were disappointed. With Axel and his other friend breathing down their throats, though, they didn’t really say anything.

  “Go back to the house.”

  I glanced back at the women and nodded to them. “Head on home, ladies.”

  So much for a fun ending to the night. We’d had our St. Anon meeting and had gone on a quick run, but we’d had big plans to barge into Carter’s home and steal whatever cupcakes and baked goods she had lying around.

  Sonnie held my hand. “You sure you’re okay?”

  I nodded. I had no doubt I was safe with Axel acting as my personal bodyguard. “I’ll come see you and the baby tomorrow.”

  Most of the crowd began dispersing, but a couple of the guys at the front of the group stubbornly remained. They were obviously drunk and they looked like they were ready for a brawl. There was no question that if it came to that, Axel would give it to them.

  I glanced over at Luna, who was cautiously backing away from Axel’s helpful friend. He reached for her and I growled at him. “I don’t know what your deal is, but you’re scaring her. Unless you want to lose that hand, I suggest you drop it.”

  He growled right back at me, causing Axel to roar at him. It was a shit show. When the guys in front of them moved towards us, both Axel and Luna’s friend turned on them.

  Axel stepped back, into my space, and put his arm around me, holding me against his back. I tingled and couldn’t help inhaling his comforting scent. It was all wrong, though. He was aligning himself with me and against his motorcycle club members. That wasn’t okay.

  As much as it thrilled the hell out of me, and my wolf, to see him choose us, the reality was that it was wrong. Even if he decided he wanted me, I couldn’t give him the family he deserved. I’d never be a good mate for him or anyone. I couldn’t let him side with me and give up his only brothers, the men he cared about, his family, for me.

  I pressed my face against his back for a few more seconds and inhaled even deeper. I pressed a hidden kiss between his shoulder blades and whispered that I was sorry before shoving him away with all my might. I wouldn’t allow him to take my side over theirs. It was crazy.

  “We don’t need your help.”

  He turned to face me and shook his head. “What the fuck is your problem?”

  I stomped my foot and shoved him again. “Nice try. I’m not going to let you fuck me because you pretend to stand up to your friends for me. Get out of here.”

  His friends were just drunk enough to buy it, it seemed. They elbowed each other and laughed. “Good try, Axel.”

  Axel, on the other hand, just looked pissed off. “I’m trying to protect you.”

  “Yeah, I’m sure. Just take your buddies and get out of here. I’m not fucking you.” I grabbed Luna and pushed her ahead of me. “I’ll make it easier on you. We’re leaving. You can’t play us like that.”

  He looked confused for a second more and then the saddest look flashed in his eyes and he stared down at the ground, scuffing his boot across the road. When he looked back up at me, that same look was still in his eyes.

  Those eyes would haunt my dreams. He looked like a little boy, rejected and confused. It was horrifying because everything in me responded to it. I wanted to wrap my arms around him and hold him. My wolf wanted to comfort him forever. Seeing him crushed like that, instead of the cocky, arrogant, grinning jerk he usually was, made it hard to stick to my reasoning for not being with him.

  I had to be strong, though. I wasn’t rejecting him, at least not at that moment, because of anything he did. Not really. I was rejecting him because of me. Because I couldn’t go into a relationship knowing I’d be inadequate for the rest of my life. I just needed to be alone.

  I turned away from Axel and pushed the last of the women on home. Including Luna, who just blinked a bunch of times. “What was that?”

  “If I didn’t know any better, Luna, I’d say that was your mate.”

  She gasped and hurried a little faster. “Oh, god. I have to get home.”

  I made sure that everyone got home okay before I shifted and ran towards my own home. I stopped before actually crossing my property line because I knew my parents were inside and the last thing I wanted to do was face Mama Jean if she was still awake. Instead of going in, I curled up in one of the rocking chairs and stared up at the moon.

  It soothed me, normally, but that night, it just appeared to be looking down at me in admonishment, as though I didn’t know what I was doing. Maybe, I didn’t. I was trying to do the right thing, though. If I sucked it up and faced the pain of the moment, it would be far better than giving into the feelings of attraction and paying for it later. Right?

  My chest ached. My wolf begged for me to go find and claim our mate. I was lonely, hurting, I needed comfort, so I should find my mate. The simplicity of it made perfect sense to her.

  She was right about one thing. I was lonely. My friends were settling down and starting, or continuing, their families. It felt like the whole town was pairing off. All my friends would be popping out little bundles of joy soon, and then there was me. I’d have to keep wearing a smile on the outside, and pretend like I wasn’t dying from jealousy on the inside.

  It wasn’t fair.

  18

  Axel

  What the fuck was that last night?” Banger, one of the brothers, confronted me as soon as I walked into the kitchen. “You were ready to attack us to keep us away from those bitches.”

  The hair on the back of my neck stood up and I blew out a rough breath. Stay calm.

  “Didn’t you smell it? That she-wolf is his mate.” Fontaine shook his head. “He isn’t one of the lucky ones, it seems.”

  “Mind your own fucking business, Fontaine.”

  “No. This is getting crazy. You and Pratt both tried to attack us over a couple of mangy ass mongrel bitches last night. Mate or not, they’re still fucking skanks. We’re your brothers.”

  “Watch your mouth.” I tried to shake out the overwhelming urge to rip his throat out. I couldn’t just attack the
guys for talking shit about Charlie. She wasn’t a bear. I’d been listening to them talk that way about other breeds for years. It was crazy to expect them to change over the course of a few days.

  “He has a point. You’re SAA of this club. Your job is to defend us. We’re brothers. In this club for as long as I can remember, Axel. You’re just going to treat us like shit for her?”

  I rolled my shoulders. “One, I’m not treating you like shit. Y’all were making complete asses out of yourselves. Jesus H. Christ. You ought to be thankful I spared you a little embarrassment. Two, my job as the Sargent-at-Arms is to defend the members of our MC. Didn’t look to me like y’all needed any defending out there. So, knock it off with that bullshit.”

  “You should’ve seen yourself last night, man. You were willing to fight us to keep us away from her and her stuffy ass friends. That’s fucked up. We always put the club first, or did you forget your priorities?”

  I growled. “I have done nothing but put this fucking club first since before I grew the first hair on my balls. Don’t question my loyalty to the club.”

  “Don’t give us a reason to.”

  I clenched my fists and rested them on the counter. “You don’t get it.”

  Fontaine scoffed. “What? Are you like feeling this bitch, or something? I get she’s hot. I’m sure she’s a good fuck, but we’re your brothers. There’s nothing else to get.”

  I narrowed my eyes. “I’m trying not to rip your head off and shit down your throat right now, Fontaine. I suggest you watch your fucking mouth.”

  “Fuck you, man. I’ve been taking your shit this whole trip and I’m tired of it. You want to put some dog bitch in front of me and the club, go for it. You don’t deserve the patch you wear if you’d do that, though.”

  I charged him and knocked him backwards with one well-placed punch to the face knocking him to the ground. I seethed. “She’s my fucking mate. What do you expect me to do?”

  He wiped some blood off his lip. “Don’t pussy out on us for some literal bitch that you just met and know nothing about. That’s what I expect. We’re your family.”

  Staring down at him, I felt a tight band squeezing my chest, all but suffocating me. They were my family, but I was feeling less and less connected to them. I wouldn’t deny that it felt like I was betraying them, but I couldn’t help it. My bear was tied to Charlie. I was, too.

  “Why does it have to be a one or the other situation?” I hated the direction this conversation was going in because Charlie had made it clear early on that she didn’t want me, and I had expressed the same thing to her, but things felt different. After having time to think about it, I knew what she’d done and why she’d pushed me away the night before. She was trying to keep me from falling out with my brothers.

  Fontaine spit out blood and scowled at me. “We’re bears. If you can’t understand it, then you’re already too far gone. You may as well take Pratt with you, too.”

  “What? You don’t want me around because my mate is a wolf?”

  “I don’t want you around because you’re not putting the club first. You’re attacking your brothers for no reason. Just a month ago you would’ve been laughing with us when we made fun of wolf shifters. Calling them mongrels. Laughing about them only fucking doggie style. Now, you’re attacking us over it.”

  I cringed. I had laughed at jokes like that. It made me feel like a piece of shit after meeting Charlie. “I don’t know what to tell you, man. Besides the fact that shit changes when you meet your mate. I don’t even want it to and it’s already changed. I didn’t fucking ask for this. I was perfectly happy with the way things were. It just happened.”

  My head throbbed and I stepped away from them. “You think the brotherhood is only the brotherhood because we can make fun of other shifters and fuck around together? Now, who’s not loyal?”

  “Fuck you. You’re the one who started attacking us.”

  “I’m not doing this right now. You’re bitching at me like you’re my mate. I’m outta here.”

  I shook my head, grabbed my leather cut from the back of a kitchen chair, and did what I always did to clear my head and outrun the demons.

  I straddled my bike, flipped the ignition, pushed the start button, and listened as my V-twin roared to life. I sped out of the driveway and headed towards town.

  Fontaine was right. Without realizing it, my priorities had completely flipped upside down. Charlie had somehow, without even trying, become the most important thing in my life. It wasn’t as though I’d planned for it to happen this way. My old life was a hell of lot easier. And, I’d just as soon go back to the way it was.

  Yet, something inside me completely rejected the thought of returning to life as I used to know it—a few days ago. As much trouble as the whole mate thing had been, and still was, I couldn’t imagine wishing Charlie away.

  It wasn’t just the mate bond that caused me to feel such protectiveness over her, it was that she didn’t deserve to be treated like she was irrelevant. She was smart, ambitious, talented, tough as nails. I didn’t like to hear her talked about like she was nothing more than tits and ass. She was more. Way more.

  It was fucked up. I didn’t want to want her. I didn’t want to notice her personal qualities, or see her as a person separate from her hot body. What I wanted was to remain a free man.

  My bear whispered to me that I was a liar. After seeing what an incredible woman Charlie was, I couldn’t pretend to un-see. Somehow, I’d let my guard down and the mate curse got me.

  19

  Charlie

  Did you set the table yet?”

  I ignored Mama Jean and transferred the mashed potatoes to a serving bowl. I’d been standing next to her in the kitchen for the past hour. She knew I hadn’t set the table.

  “Set a place for your man, too. That is, if you’ve invited him.”

  I frowned. “No, Mama, I didn’t.”

  “Oh, Charlotte. Cut the nonsense. You can’t avoid your mate. It makes no sense.”

  “I’m not avoiding him. I’m just not with him. It’s different.” I sighed. “I shouldn’t have mentioned anything to you. I knew you wouldn’t get it.”

  “Oh, god, Charlotte. You sound just like you did when you were a kid.” She waved a spoon at me. “But, you’re right. This time. I don’t get it. I don’t get why you would give up on a chance at happiness. Mates are important for a shifter, honey. You need to give yours a chance.”

  “I’m setting the table now.”

  “Holt and Sonnie are coming with the baby. Set it for six.”

  “I’m not setting it for six. That’s only five.”

  She waved me away and went back to mixing up the mac and cheese.

  I hurried through setting the table and then went outside to get some fresh air. I was annoyed and stressed. I’d barely slept at all the night before. I kept seeing that hurt look on Axel’s face when I’d told him to take his buddies and go. He’d chosen me over them, and I’d rejected him. I wanted to bang my head into a wall. Still, I had no other choice. Knowing what I knew, I had no business giving him a reason to be hopeful. In the mate category I was defective and it was best for him if he just walked away now.

  I sat on the steps and rested my head in my hands. I had a headache from listening to Mama Jean strongly hint all day long that I should invite Axel over for dinner and give him a chance. She really didn’t understand. Maybe, if I just came out and told her that I was barren, she’d leave me alone. I just couldn’t make myself say the words aloud.

  I was still sitting there, pouting, when I heard the drone from a motorcycle exhaust grow louder and louder until it reached the intensity of a thunderous roar. Jerking upright, I peered down the long driveway and watched the road that led into town. I nearly choked when Axel came in to view and turned onto my driveway, riding towards me. There was no way that Mama Jean wasn’t going to hear the motorcycle.

  I jumped to my feet and hurried across the lawn. I heard the screen do
or open behind me and Mama Jean step out onto the verandah.

  “I see your man came by, anyway. Good instincts, that one. Invite him for dinner.”

  “Mama, go back inside.”

  “Invite him to dinner, Charlotte, or I’ll have your Aunt Barbara come back to town for a visit.”

  Damn. I glared at her. It looked like Axel might be coming to dinner.

  He cut the engine and rolled it to a stop next to me. Sitting there like he was, straddling the bike, he looked like the quintessential bad boy biker. Only, there was nothing boy about him. If Axel was anything, he was all man. Well, mixed with grizzly.

  “Hey.”

  I didn’t want to smile, but I couldn’t help it. My lips twisted to one side and I squinted my eyes at him. “Hi.”

  He chuckled and ran his hands through his hair. It was windblown, and looked soft—and sexy. “There’s someone watching us from the verandah.”

  I glanced over my shoulder and groaned. “My mother.”

  Axel lifted his hand in a lazy wave and smiled when Mama Jean waved back to him in an over-exaggerated way. That smile was one of the first I’d seen from him that felt sincere and it was mind-altering. All his hard edges seemed to soften and something charming and dazzling was left.

  “She’s pretty, too.”

  I gagged. “Don’t feed the beast.”

  “I heard that, young lady!” Mama shouted from the verandah. “You aren’t too old for a butt smacking’.”

  Axel quirked an eyebrow. “She has a point. I’m all for it, if I get to be the smacker.”

  “I heard that, too, young man! Don’t get fresh with my daughter while I’m standing right here.” A soft giggle carried across to us. “I’ll go inside and then you can do it all you want. She’s been a bad girl. So very bad.”

  I jerked around to face her, but the door was already slamming shut. “Jeez. Someone should put a muzzle on her.”