She also knew that she needed to speak to Jimmy. She had no right remaining engaged to him when her feelings were so strong for someone else – even if those feelings were going to give her nothing but a wasted heart.
An hour or so later she was waving goodbye to her mother and Auntie Jane from the front porch. She felt strangely isolated as they drove off down the drive, and the stillness of the house when she closed the front door felt oppressive.
Straight away she went through to the kitchen and picked up the phone, dialling Jimmy’s number.
“Jimmy?” She could hear the busy New York streets in the background.
“Hey babe! You’re speaking to the youngest guy at Merrill Lynch to sell eighty-six million worth of bonds in a single day! Sub-prime, but who’s gonna care, right?” He laughed gleefully down the phone.
“That’s amazing news Jimmy,” she tried to match his light-hearted tone but it came out slightly off.
“You okay babe? You sound funny. Hey, Jake – Jake! Get me a pitcher!” he broke off to shout at colleague, and Eva held the phone away from her ear.
“Jimmy, it’s the wrong time to call – can I call you later?” she asked.
“No babe – now is great. Seriously – what’s up?”
She heard a girl giggling in the background, followed by a sultry voice muttering something. Jimmy shushed her, and she heard him move into a quieter area.
“Babe?” he repeated.
“Sorry to call you like this Jimmy, I know you’re busy - ”
“You need to get down here babe! Come celebrate!” he sounded so jubilant, she hated to rain on his parade, but if she didn’t do it now, she was frightened that she would never find the courage again.
“I don’t think I’m going to come back, Jimmy.”
“What? Are you kidding me? You’re going to stay in that hick back-town?” his voice was incredulous.
“Yeah, I know…It’s just,” she paused, trying to collect her scrambled thoughts, “I feel like I need to be here. I need the engagement to be off. I’m so sorry Jimmy. Truly I am – I never wanted to hurt you.” She exhaled, feeling a great sense of guilt but also relief. It felt right.
“You’re an idiot, Eva. I can’t believe this! You’re gonna what? Work your butt off in a shitty diner, marry a farmer? Jesus – I thought you were supposed to be smart!” She heard someone call him again, followed by raucous laughter.
“I gotta go, Eva. You’ll come to your senses. And you should – there are a shit load of hot women here, don’t think I’ll be waiting around forever.” With that he hung up the phone.
Eva placed her handset down quietly on the table and sat still for a moment, feeling well and truly alone.
9
The entire pack joined them for the hunt. After shifting in the deserted parking lot at the base of the White Mountains, they all raced together into the dense thicket of the forest.
They ran in formation, and Sebastian was surprised to find that they all naturally let him take the lead. As they ran his awareness of everything – the slightest shift in light formation through the leaves, the sound of beetles scuttling under dry leaves – left him feeling utterly overwhelmed and unable to focus on anything singular within the cacophony of noise and scent.
A moment later that changed. He became drawn to a thick and heavy sound of blood steadily pumping, and could almost taste rich iron on the tip of his tongue. Focusing in on his senses, he guessed by the apparent size of the beast his prey was some kind of mountain lion. He started to salivate, imagining the meaty muscle about to be devoured.
The rest of the pack caught on to the smell, and they chased the creature upwards to one the several precipices of the mountain range, till finally cornering it by a cliff-edge of smooth rock. The lion was huge, hunched into an attack mode, breaking into an ear-shattering roar as the group of wolves surrounded him. He was majestic, his coat a beautiful shade of desert gold and his eyes like liquid amber.
Sebastian stared into the eyes of the beast, and realised his mistake. He couldn’t kill an animal like this: any meat in the forest would do, there was no need to kill such a graceful, dignified creature.
He turned to look at Logan, who whimpered slightly in agreement.
Let’s leave this.
The pack reacted instantly, relaxing their posture and he could feel the sighs of relief emanating from all but one.
No! Lucian shouted at the group, let’s kill it - I’m hungry!
Leave it Lucian. Sebastian warned him, his voice steady.
Lucian disobeyed the order, crouching into attack position. Elliott leapt forward snarling, moving in front of the lion, protecting it from Lucian’s advance.
Lucian barrelled through him, knocking the young wolf flying. Elliott skidded along the flat stone, frantically trying to claw into the impenetrable rock. In an instant his hind legs slipped over the precipice.
A howl escaped him, and echoed throughout the valley below. Without hesitating, Sebastian flung himself forward, jamming his splayed claw into Elliot’s front leg. He pulled backwards, his claws ripping into flesh as he dragged the wolf back onto the rock.
With Elliott safe, Sebastian turned to face Lucian. The Lion had already fled.
What were you thinking? You just endangered the pack. Sebastian growled at Lucian.
We’re wolves. We hunt. That’s what I was doing. It might be new to you, boy – but I do things the wolf way, Lucian snarled back.
That was not the wolf way, Lucian. You know better than that. Logan stepped forward, so angry the fur on his back stood on end. We never endanger our own.
Another move like this Lucian, and you’re out. Sebastian glared at him. Even as a wolf Lucian looked more aggressive, more violent than the rest of them. More snake than wolf, Sebastian thought, with such slit-like eyes and oily fur.
You wouldn’t dare. Lucian replied.
Don’t test me, Lucian. Sebastian turned his back on him, and the rest of the pack followed his lead. He could feel the resentment in each and every one of them burning toward Lucian.
As they set off back into the thickets of the forest, Sebastian realized Elliot was hobbling slightly behind the rest due to the gash in his paw. Sebastian let Logan take the lead and slowed down to join Elliott.
You okay?
I’m alive thanks to you, man. Elliot’s voice reverberated with hero worship, and he practically bowed before Sebastian. Stoked you’re pack leader. We’ve been waiting for this for a long time.
Sebastian smiled at the young wolf’s enthusiasm. He felt pretty good about it too. Out here in the forest he felt free, capable of anything with his new found agility and speed.
Sebastian heard paws thundering behind him. Lucian came into view, practically leaping over Sebastian to get ahead; I’m going to take what’s mine he growled, as he raced on and off from view.
It took a moment for Sebastian to comprehend what he meant. Once he did, Sebastian sped off after him into the thickets of the forest, freeing any restraint he’d previously exercised over his wolf form as fury overtook him.
10
Sebastian stood hidden at the end of the driveway, careful not to crunch the gravel underfoot. The moon was less visible tonight, the stars blanketed. Coming from the valley of the White Mountain he could hear a faint rumble as rolling thunder spread closer to Beaver Creek. There was a summer storm coming, he could practically smell the rain, there would most likely be a torrential downpour tonight.
He watched the house ahead, the kitchen light was the only sign that someone was home, but he couldn’t see any movement coming from within.
Sebastian waited patiently. He had lost Lucian in the forest, but knew this is where he would head tonight. Over his dead body would he be getting anywhere near Eva. He felt the familiar tug in the pit of his stomach and tried to calm down; when Lucian showed up he didn’t want to frighten Eva by appearing in his wolf form.
It wasn’t long before his wolf senses picked up on
the familiar smell of patchouli oil and stale tobacco. He could also smell an undercurrent of hard liquor; Lucian had clearly been hitting the bottle heavily this evening. He scanned the fields that surrounded the house but came up empty. The smell was inescapable though, and getting stronger. Sebastian deliberated again over shifting. If Lucian was in wolf form and he wasn’t, he’d have a harder job of both finding him and getting rid of him.
Eva had taken a few calls from relatives and set up an appointment with a funeral director in the nearby town. She wanted to go through her father’s things - the racing paper in the lounge, the rolling tobacco discarded in various hidey-holes throughout the house – so her mother wouldn’t have to find it on her return.
Listlessness had overcome her late afternoon, and she’d taken a nap. On awakening she didn’t seem to have the energy to do much, and had found herself sitting back in the kitchen, staring out of the window and waiting for the incoming storm.
The land around the house was isolated; something she’d never had a problem with till tonight. She could hear the winds picking up and whistling through the attic, echoing throughout the empty house.
She was startled out of her reverie by the sound of footsteps making their way slowly up the back porch. Sebastian? She stood up from the chair, half fearful, half hopeful. She waited for a knock or some sign of an announcing visitor. Instead, her blood ran cold at the sound of the rusty doorknob turning on the outer screen door.
“Eva? Darlin’?” She knew that voice. It was Lucian. Shit. Eva had never been in a room with him alone, her mother always made sure of it. The way he looked at her was enough to make her skin crawl. She hastily grabbed her phone, searching for Logan’s number, or someone in the vicinity that would be able to get here fast.
She heard him coming down the hallway, following the light to the kitchen. She could smell the whisky fumes emanating from him.
She took a deep breath; she could handle this if she remained calm.
“Hello Lucian. I’m in the kitchen.” She walked over to the butcher’s block in the centre of the kitchen, reasoning that it would put enough space between them, and held all the heavy-duty cooking utensils items in its lower shelf.
“Hey there sweetie-pie” he gave her a sloppy, lecherous grin as he entered the room, “your prince has arrived.”
Hardly. He started to walk toward her, a little unsteady on his feet, but still a huge hulk of a man that was practically salivating over her.
“I got something here to show you, little baby.” Her responding look of disgust seem to excite him even more, and he moved unnaturally quickly over to where she stood – pinning her in the corner of the kitchen. His disgusting face was about an inch away from hers, and she shoved him away angrily.
“Get out Lucian, before you do something you’re going to regret.” He voice had only the slightest hint of a tremor to it.
He aggressively grabbed her by the waist, and she got a strong whiff of day old sweat and stale beer. She almost gagged.
“Get off me!” she yelled louder, and shoved him away again. She could see a large cooking pot resting on the side of the counter, and squirmed out of his grasp to grab it, but he just increased the pressure of his grip. Shoving her face close to his, he licked the side of her cheek and grasped at her breasts, painfully.
She started to scream then, wildly, knowing that no one would hear her but it was the only option she had left. Lucian slammed his hand over her mouth, and she bit down, hard. Blood trickled its way into her mouth, but his hand remained where it was, pressing deeper into her skin. His other hand pulled at her flimsy sundress, tearing at the cotton.
His grip was abruptly released, and Eva gasped for air. She turned just in time to see Sebastian punch Lucian in the jaw, his fist making a sickening crack as it connected with heavy bone. Lucian stumbled sideways, and Sebastian uppercut his jaw, sending his body flying back to land on the stone of the kitchen floor. As Sebastian leant down to issue another punch, Eva came to her senses.
“Sebastian – stop!”
His eyes didn’t leave Lucian’s fallen body, but his fist stayed trembling in mid-air before he lowered it slowly to his side. Sebastian was pulsating with rage; Eva could see the muscles of his forearms twitching in anticipation and adrenaline.
After a moment, Lucian stirred on the floor. Sebastian reached over and picked him up by the collar of his shirt.
“Get out of this town. Come here again and I promise I will kill you.” The words were said softly, but neither Lucian nor Eva doubted their truth. Sebastian dropped him back on the ground, and Lucian pitifully scrambled to his feet, not looking at either of them. He scurried out of the room as quickly as he could, but Eva didn’t take a breath till she heard the back porch door swing shut.
11
You’re torn.” Sebastian spoke first.
“What?” Eva looked blankly into his eyes.
“Your dress,” he gestured toward the flimsy cotton that wasn’t currently doing a very good job of protecting her modesty. He hesitated for a moment, before methodically unbuttoning the rest of his half-open shirt.
He was wearing a white t-shirt beneath, and the sight of his bare, muscular arms disorientated Eva so it was moment before she realised he was handing the shirt to her. Gratefully she wrapped it around herself, trying to subtly inhale the scent of him. The softness of the cotton and its aroma of maleness made her dizzy.
“There’s something different about you.” The words were stilting, and Eva regretted them as soon as they left her mouth, but it was true. He always appeared intimidating to her, but now it was tinged with some thing else – something raw, animalistic that she couldn’t put her finger on. His eyes, too, seemed different; their usual darkness seemed more luminous and hyper-alert, as if he were seeing every slight movement that she made.
“I’m just angry.” He crossed his arms, his t-shirt rising upward. He tugged it back down but not before Eva caught a brief glance at his washboard stomach, the defined muscular hips and the tantalising trail of abdominal hair that disappeared into the waistband of his just-visible boxers. She swallowed and looked away.
“Can I get you a cup of tea, or something?” she asked. Sebastian knew he should refuse. He felt like he’d left his self-control at the end of the driveway; the inhuman rage he’d felt on seeing Lucian touch her had snapped something inside of him and all he could see were Eva’s long legs leading up to her impossibly narrow waist and beautifully rounded backside. His shirt had covered her from the thigh upward, but he had seen her cotton white panties and he couldn’t quite clear the image from his head as hard as he tried.
“Coffee would be great, actually.” He thought that might help. Bring his senses back. Remove the bulge pressing against his jeans, at least.
She stepped away, and moved toward the kitchen counter to attend to the percolator. As turned on as Sebastian felt, he also desperately wanted to tell her the truth about the death of her father. He didn’t know if it was to ease his conscience, or that she deserved to know the truth – he hoped it was the latter, but his need for Eva not to hate him utterly made him hesitate and remain silent.
She bought the coffee to him, smiling slightly as she held it toward him. He took the cup from her carefully, avoiding skin contact. Her smile faltered.
“Sebastian?”
“Yes?”
“I’ve had a really bad day – well, actually, a really bad week.” Eva’s face was aflame. Sebastian felt guilt tear through him, but couldn’t help but notice how ethereally beautiful she looked in that moment. Her brown and golden hair tumbling down carelessly over her shoulders, her eyes bright and swimming with unshed emotion.
He watched as Eva with trembling hands begun to remove the shirt he’d given her, and without looking at him she hung it carefully over a chair. She started to unbutton the top of her dress. He grabbed her by the shoulders, forcing her to stop.
“Eva – don’t do this.”
“Sebastian
– please. Just use me, I don’t care – just don’t make me beg. Please don’t make me beg for this.”
Self-hatred and lust coursed through him. He couldn’t hold back any longer, and he finally pulled Eva toward him, crushing her against his chest. He bent his head down towards hers, his gaze meeting her welcoming blue eyes, and placed his lips down forcefully on her mouth. Cradling the back of her head in his hand, their lips melted into one another, her tongue tentatively exploring his mouth.
Eva felt as if her body was about to explode. The moment his lips had touched hers, her whole being had woken up, as if she had spent her entire life sleep walking in a grey existence where every feeling was muted. Now, with Sebastian holding her, wanting her – she didn’t care how – it was if the world had exploded in a kaleidoscope of colour.
The kiss deepened and Eva felt his hand run up the side of her body, grazing her breasts as he did so, causing a shiver of pleasure that ran straight to her lower abdomen. His fingers gently outlined the breastbone at the base of her throat, his palm pressing slightly into her chest. His other hand slid down her back, following the curvature of her spine, coming to rest on her backside. He pressed down and then cupped her lower cheek, caressing it slowly and firmly. Eva heard a groan escape his throat. It was the reassurance she needed to know he was enjoying himself as much as she was, and with that encouragement she slid her hands from around his waist upward to feel the rock-solid muscle of his stomach, up to his chest, tentatively reaching his pectoral muscles. His nipples jumped to attention as she did so, and she felt a shudder run through his body.
He broke the kiss.
“Are you sure you want this?” Sebastian’s voice was raspy and low, his breath hot on her neck.
“Yes, yes I want this. This is all I want, this is everything. Let my world fall away, Sebastian.” Eva looked up into his eyes, trying to convey the assuredness she felt – nothing had ever felt so right to her as this.
Bear Outlaw Page 55
