During the meal, she watched the excitement generated among the three. It was difficult to take her eyes off him. She was content simply to observe him eating and engaging in the children’s chatter. Across from her sat strength, tenderness, integrity—everything she would want in a husband. She pushed her soup bowl away, almost untouched. If he looks into my eyes now, he will know that I love him. I must wait to learn what he is thinking.
He finished his chowder and biscuits. “I brought you each a little gift.”
The first item he handed to Mark. It was a small tri-cornered cap, similar to the one he wore.
Mark beamed as he strutted around the room with an air of authority. Everyone laughed at the tiny image of Matthew.
“And Mary, this is for you.” Out came a doll with a lovely dress and the most beautiful china head. Mary stared at the doll in awe, then at her father as if he had performed some miracle.
“How did you know?” She looked astonished.
“How did I know what?”
“That my doll was broken. Mark broke its head while you were gone.” A glance at her brother caught the concern on his small face. “It was an accident.”
“I was unaware your doll was broken, Mary. But when I saw this one, I kept thinking of you and how much you would enjoy it.”
“Oh, Papa, thank you.” He opened his arms again, and both children filled them.
Heather pressed her lips together. She must keep her emotions at bay. She went to the kettle at the hearth and prepared the tea.
“Papa, we have something for you.” Mary was full of glee.
“Well now, wait another moment, please. I have something for Heather also.”
By the time she brought the steaming tankards of tea, he found the parcel and handed it to her.
She barely met his eyes as she took the wrapped package and retreated to her chair. Inside were two cakes of soap with the unmistakable scent of violets. At last, she lifted her head and met his smiling eyes. “Thank you.” She glowed with pleasure.
“I am acquainted with your desire for cleanliness, and the fragrance, well ... it suits you.”
When she picked up one of the cakes to smell it, she saw another smaller wrapped item. Perplexed, she glanced at him, noticing he continued to watch her. She lifted the small packet and slowly opened it. Inside was a comb to be worn in her hair. A closer study revealed tiny thistles etched in the silver edge.
“There is another one under the other cake.” He pointed to the other package.
She opened the other packet. It was a matching comb. She swallowed, but the words would not come. Take a deep breath and do not cry.
“The thistles are what caught my attention. I saw them and knew they belonged in your hair.”
“Thistles, Papa?” Mary looked confused.
“Yes. It is a flower, a symbol of Scotland.”
She sighed and walked to the hutch. “They are beautiful. What a thoughtful gift.” She placed the combs in her loose damp waves and picked up the silver plate to see her reflection. The combs adorned a face glowing with love. “Thank you. I shall treasure them always.” She choked back the tears.
“Papa, now we have a gift for you.” Mary ran to the hutch where the new shirt was neatly folded, and to the cupboard, where Mark’s was stored.
Matthew held up the shirt and examined it critically.
“Heather made it, and I made this one for Mark.”
“This is beautiful, Mary.” Matthew held up the smaller shirt.
“Heather showed me how.” The child climbed on her father’s lap, radiant in his praise.
Matthew held up his own shirt. “Thank you, Heather. It is a very nice surprise, and it will be a pleasure to have a clean shirt tomorrow.”
“We planned on going to the evensong service tomorrow at six.” She poured him some more tea.
“Fine. I have not been to church since I left Philadelphia.” He got up from his seat and faced the children. “Now, I think it is time the two of you got to bed.”
“Oh, must we, Papa?” Mary shook her head.
“Yes, you must.”
Once the children were prayed with and tucked into bed, he returned to the hearth and began unpacking his clothes from his saddle packs.
“I am afraid I have some wash for you here.”
“I rather expected you would.” She gathered up the soiled garments and put them in a basket.
“I am anxious to see the place in the light of day.” He motioned for her to sit down as he took a seat in the cushioned chair near the hearth. “Have you had any problems?” He sounded serious—all business.
She sat down across from him. “Nay. None.” She was pleased to tell him that. “The Duncans came for a visit almost a fortnight ago.”
“Did they? Good.” He leaned back in the chair and studied her.
“Aye. We had a very nice day.”
“And George, did he check on you?”
“Aye. And they had us over for dinner one day.”
Matthew appeared amused as he leaned forward and smiled. “And how did that fare?”
“I behaved admirably.” She smirked, lifting her eyes to meet his.
They both laughed, eyes still locked. They grew silent.
“There is much to discuss, Heather. But tonight, I only want to crawl up there and sleep. We can talk more tomorrow.” He rose and went outside for a few minutes before returning to the cottage and climbing to the loft.
With an exhausted groan, he fell on the mattress. She smiled. What would tomorrow bring? Thank You again, Lord, for returning him safely to us.
CHAPTER 28
Everyone was up early the next morning and in high spirits. Heather glanced out the window. What a beautiful fall day. Observing Matthew and the children, with their smiles and laughter, filled her with joy. Would she feel that way at the end of the day?
Mark and Mary babbled all through breakfast, filled with tales of their pursuits during Matthew’s absence.
Matthew glanced at the rabbit. “Randolph makes himself quite at home here in the house. When did that start?” He did not appear angry, but amused, as he ate some ham, eggs, and stewed apples.
Mary jumped right in. “Right after you left, Papa. He was lonesome out in the barn. And Heather said it would be allowed.”
“He missed us.” Mark reached for more of the stewed apples.
Heather rolled her eyes and smiled. “I did say it would not hurt while you were gone. His presence in the cottage comforted them the first few rough days. Randolph is really no trouble. He goes outside to do his business.”
“Well, I suppose I should not be surprised he is still here, with the three of you spoiling him so.” Matthew got up and went over to where Randolph was chewing on pieces of carrot and apple. He bent down and stroked the brownish gray fur. He chuckled. “I guess I should be thankful that you are a Randolph and not a Rebecca.”
When he went out the door, Heather continued to watch him through the window, hoping he would be satisfied with the condition of the farm. If she accompanied him on his survey, he would think she sought praise, which probably bore some truth.
He did not return to the cottage until dinnertime. She and the children were preparing a meal of roast chicken, stove tatties, sausage-filled squash, and apple pie.
Matthew came through the door grinning. “Something smells good.” He joined them at the table and offered the blessing. Matthew’s eyes locked on hers. “I must compliment you, Heather. The farm is quite sound. There is plenty for me to do, but you all have done a remarkable job of taking care of the place.”
“Thank you. We worked well together.” She smiled first at him, then at the children.
After dinner, she cleaned the dishes. “You may want to take a rest, Mark, so you will be fresh for church, dear.”
“Mary.” Matthew motioned for his daughter to come to him.
“Yes, Papa?”
“You are such a responsible young lady. I would like y
ou to stay here with Mark while Heather and I go out for a walk. Would you do that for me?”
“Yes, Papa.” A worried frown etched her face.
“Thank you. We shall be back in a while. Oh, and lest I forget, I do not think I mentioned to you how becoming you two are in your new dresses.”
The child’s frown was replaced by a grin before Matthew held the door open for Heather. They walked outside.
She remained silent as she walked beside him.
He took her arm and led her west. “Shall we go this way a while? I would like to see how high the run is.”
At another time, the silence between them might have been comfortable and pleasant, but as things stood, it produced an uneasy sensation in the pit of her stomach. There was so much she wanted to tell him, so much she wanted to ask, but she didn’t want to interrupt him. He seemed preoccupied.
“I meant what I said earlier, Heather.”
She braced herself walking on the rocky path. Was he going to address canceling her indenture?
“You have done a fine job of taking care of the place.”
She sighed. “I am glad you are pleased. I was fortunate that nothing went wrong.”
“I have confidence that you would have handled any problem wisely.”
They continued walking. The only sounds were those of birds and the rustle of leaves beneath their feet.
She both hoped and dreaded he would get to the purpose of the walk soon. Her stomach churned at the silence—and the waiting. “Were you able to stop and see Caroline Taylor as you planned?” There, it was out in the open now. Would he tell her that Caroline would come and replace her once she was gone? Please do not tell me you love her.
“Yes, I did. I gave her your letter, and somewhere I have one she sent for you. She and her father were very gracious. They invited me to stay there while I was in Baltimore.”
“Aye, very gracious.” Of course they would ask him to stay.
“Caroline is an amazing woman.”
She kept her eyes forward, on the path. As much as she longed to read his face, she dared not let him read hers.
“With all Caroline has been through, losing Samuel and Seth, she has remained cheerful and interested in the well-being of others.”
“A remarkable woman.” She bit her lip.
“Caroline spends three days a week at a home established to care for waifs and orphans.”
Another saint. Determined to get through this ordeal, she looked away from his now shaven and sun-darkened face.
“Caroline Taylor is an admirable and kind woman with many fine qualities.” Her voice sounded shrill. Where was her self-control? Take a deep breath.
He looked taken aback.
“Heather, I did not ask you out here to talk about the farm or Caroline.” The tone of his voice had changed. It was serious and determined. “I want to talk to you about your future, your freedom. Please hear me out.”
Nay, please not that. Not now. “Aye, Matthew.” She dreaded this and wished there was some way to prevent the inevitable discourse. Should she say something, tell him? But what if it was too late? What if he only wanted her to leave so he was free to move on with his plans?
Matthew reached up and plucked some golden leaves from a tree. “When I was twelve years old, my parents and I left England and settled in Philadelphia. Fifteen years ago, they died in an accident, leaving me their home. I sold off most of the furnishings but arranged to have the house let. When I married Elizabeth, we chose to keep the house. It was an investment in case we decided at some point to leave the farm, or sell it and use the funds to expand this home and make it into an ordinary. At the very least, we would have that home if some disaster struck.”
Why was he telling her of his home in Philadelphia? Where was all this leading?
“The only disaster was Elizabeth’s death. Even then I did not sell the house, thinking that someday there might be a need for it.”
Was he thinking of leaving the farm and moving to Philadelphia?
“I went to Philadelphia to sell the house, and I was able to get a fair price. While I was there, I also made some inquiries for possible positions for you if you want to relocate there. A friend said that you would easily find work as a housekeeper or governess. There are enough affluent families there who would pay a reasonable wage for a woman with your skills. The funds I provide you with should be adequate so that you would have some flexibility in selecting a position. Of course, you need not be limited to Philadelphia. You might find something in Alexandria or Baltimore.”
She stopped walking and stared at Matthew. Why was he doing this? He owed her nothing.
Matthew motioned for her to sit on a fallen tree trunk. “I shall need to keep a portion of the proceeds for Mark and Mary, which I am sure you understand.”
Apparently finished speaking for the moment, he walked a few feet away, picked up a flat rock, and skipped it into the brook they had been walking alongside.
“I am stunned. Why would you sell your property to assist me?” His generosity humbled her.
“Well, I had promised you your freedom. I would not have you leave without help, to be an object of charity, or worse yet, to have someone take advantage of you. Your freedom is important to you. I was never as sure as when I saw you practically give yourself to a man you loathed, simply to free yourself of your indenture.”
“Nay. You are wrong, Matthew. How can I convince you that I only acted that way to escape the barn and get to the safety of the cottage?”
His brow furrowed as he threw another pebble. “Heather, you cannot deny that you saw yourself only as my bondservant, and it ate away at you.”
She rose from the log. “No one wants to be a slave or a servant, Matthew.” She started to walk away as she wiped a tear that rolled down her cheek.
He reached for her arm and turned her so she faced him. He looked irritated. The veins stood out on his neck. “Did I ever treat you like a servant? Did I ever refer to you or introduce you as my bondservant?”
Ashamed, her face grew warm. “Nay. Nay, you did not.” He had only treated her with respect, and he always referred to her as his wife when speaking to others. Would she ever stop misjudging people?
He walked away, obviously frustrated, and skipped another stone into the creek.
She had been honest with Maggie, and even Mary. Now it was time to be honest with him. She swallowed hard before continuing. “You were kind to me and treated me with respect.” She wanted to remain calm. Eyeing another large log, she sat. She knew what she wanted to convey and took a deep breath. “I was very confused, Matthew, about many things that happened before I ever arrived in Virginia. And you were right. I continued to carry around my past, and I never found closure. I have let a great many things hurt me over the years. Some of it was entirely unnecessary.”
He came over and sat on the same log, but a safe distance away. His eyes fixed on hers.
She searched for the right words. Be completely honest, and trust the outcome. “I was wrong, Matthew. I am ready to tell you why I left Scotland.”
His eyes widened at her remark. His frustrated expression was replaced by one of concern. “I want to understand, Heather, but not if it will cause you more pain.” He never took his eyes off her.
“Nay, I must. You were right. It was a mistake to keep it inside, never coming to terms with it. I shall not go into all of it at this time—it is too long a story. But some of it may help you to understand me a bit better.
“My mother died when I was a wee lass, and from that time on I tried to take her place as she had asked me to do, mothering my younger sister and even my older brother and father. Through my own choice, I never married.” She told him about her father’s debilitating illness and her brother’s lack of interest in the family business. “I acted imposed upon. Not a very admirable character trait.” She shuddered but saw compassion in his eyes.
“Around two years ago, I met a man, a barrister from Edinburg
h, who was in Perth for some business with my brother, Ross. Over time, our friendship grew into love. He inferred we would marry.” She had his attention, but what thoughts were behind those penetrating eyes? “Robert said he had some family matters to resolve before my father and I were to join him in Edinburgh.”
Matthew got up from the log and began pacing restlessly. “Go on.” He threw a couple of stones into the creek.
“My father died of his infirmity, but not before we all learned that Robert already had a wife ... and children.”
He sat back down on the log, disbelief written on his face.
She needed to get this finished. “The shock for me was tremendous, but I am afraid it hastened my father’s death. In the midst of my shattered world, I learned that Ross had been aware, almost from the start, of Robert’s marital status.” She told Matthew of the debts and the arrangement Ross and Robert had made. “When Robert’s wife learned of our relationship, she came to visit me, to inform me, on her way to Aberdeen. It was not a pleasant scene. She was also badly used.”
Matthew shook his head. “I know there are men who are rakes. What he did was disgraceful, Heather, but to also be betrayed by your own brother. Unconscionable.”
“My father died believing I had dishonored the family, never aware of Ross’ part in it.” She told him of the opportunity Ross had with his father-in-law, and that he sold their shop and home to pay his debts. “I had nothing and no one to turn to. I was filled with shame, and the scandal was spreading. I acted impulsively. When I saw a chance to start a new life, far from the ugliness around me, I took it. I signed an indenture.”
She studied him while he considered her revelation. “I feared Robert would find me if I stayed in Perth or Edinburgh. Penniless, and with no one to turn to, I did not want to accept his help and risk putting my virtue further in jeopardy.” She took a deep breath. She had bared her soul. How would he respond?
“Heather. I cannot imagine a woman like you being mistreated so—and by all the men in your life. It is no wonder that you distrust us. I am so sorry you have been used and hurt.” His face distraught, he got up and walked to the edge of the creek, his back to her.
A Heart Set Free Page 23
