She closed her eyes and folded her hands on her lap, weary, but relieved to have finally revealed what she had kept hidden for so long. When she glanced up, he was facing her, compassion etched on his face.
He motioned toward the cottage. “There is more we need to address, Heather, but I think we had better head back.”
This time, the silence as they walked was comforting. They each needed to digest what the other one had shared.
When they returned to the cabin, there was just enough time to clean up and prepare for church.
After the service, the family returned home. They had a light supper before Matthew and Heather saw the children off to bed. As she cleaned the kitchen, Matthew approached and placed a hand gently on her shoulder. “Might we have some tea on the porch? It is cool, so you may need your shawl.”
His touch made her heart skip a beat and brought a warm sensation to her cheeks. “Aye. I shall be right there.” What was on his mind now? Hopefully, it was not to set a date for her departure.
Matthew took a lantern and went out to sit on the steps while she steeped the tea. In the bedroom, she chose the Douglas tartan shawl. It was fetching with the new blue dress. As she was about to leave the room, she spotted the combs. She hesitated a moment. Should she? Smiling, she put them carefully into her hair and carried the tea out to the porch.
When Matthew took the tankard she offered, she noticed a difference in his demeanor. He appeared far more at peace than he had earlier, less tense.
“Heather, I have been thinking about what you told me today, and I think I understand why you kept it to yourself for so long. It means a great deal to me that you have finally felt comfortable, trusted me enough to tell me about your life before coming here.”
“It was difficult, but I am relieved to have gotten it all out. It is a memory, but I no longer want it to enslave me.”
“I spoke with George Lamont while I was in Alexandria. If you remember, he was the solicitor who assisted me at the dock the day we met. He sees no real difficulty in securing an annulment under the circumstances.” Resignation was etched on his face. “You will be free ... and go with my blessing to pursue a life that I hope will bring you joy.”
She bit her lip. Whether I lose him or not, I must confess to him how I have changed. And if it is right, tell him that I love him. She slowly got up from her chair and sat down on the step beside him. “While you were gone, Matthew, I did a lot of thinking, mostly about my life before coming here. The choices I made, the people, and how I responded to them. When I prayed and sought God’s help, I was freed of years of resentment and guilt. I see myself as I truly am for the first time.” She took a sip of her tea and studied his face. Was she expressing what was in her heart in a way he would comprehend?
“I was relying on my own strength to overcome my difficulties. I was drowning in a sea of hopelessness. It was not until I reached up and received the help that has always been extended to me that I was able to rise above all that has kept me in bondage. It was only by the grace of God.”
She set her teacup down beside her and folded her hands on her lap, experiencing a peace and joy that surprised her. “I am free, Matthew. You freed me from physical bondage when you married me. But it has only been in these past few weeks that I have been freed from so much emotional and spiritual bondage.”
Matthew smiled but remained silent.
She would say no more yet. To do so might bind him—not what she wanted. Nay, it was up to him now.
“I see the peace in your countenance, Heather. I pray the future gives you everything you desire. After Elizabeth died, I came to understand God’s love and provision in a deeper way, too. Loss and tragedy can do that. We have each experienced sorrow, Heather, and now some healing by God’s grace.” His smile was disarming. “I am gratified that you have been able to throw off the barriers and receive His grace and love.”
“I am forgiven, Matthew. I had only to accept it.” As she gazed up into his dark eyes, she saw him studying her intently.
“If you must go, Heather, you shall go with my aid and my blessing. But I cannot let you go without telling you that I have loved you ... a long while.”
Tears filled her eyes, joy filled her heart, and peace filled her soul. She placed her hands on his. Thank you, dear Lord.
“Matthew, I love you also, though I have not always known it or admitted it.”
He wiped away her tears and brought her hand to his lips. He kissed it and drew her to him, his lips to hers. Their kiss was a long-sought-for release. She backed away slightly.
“What about Caroline?”
Matthew looked perplexed. “What about Caroline?”
“I wondered if you were planning on marrying her and bringing her here.”
He frowned. “Where did you get that idea?”
“You said that you had someone to care for Mark and Mary. You told me you were planning on seeing her in Baltimore.” Now she was confused.
“The children were to live with Maggie and Adam until they were a little older. Some of the funds from the sale of the property were to be used for Maggie to hire a girl. And, Heather, if you were traveling through Baltimore, surely you would also stop to see Caroline and her father. She was a friend of ours.” His words were gentle, his eyes kind.
“Aye. I guess I would.”
“Anything else you care to ask about?” He grinned and pulled her onto his lap.
She bit her lip. “Elizabeth?”
His brow furrowed. “Elizabeth? I explained my relationship with Elizabeth. Heather, she shall not be a ghost between us. My love for her does not diminish my love for you. It enhances it. So much of what I have learned about sharing and giving is to her credit.”
She put her arms around his neck and gazed into his eyes. “Matthew, I fear you are married to a silly woman, and one who is only now learning to dispense with her doubts.”
“You shall not have doubts of my intentions for long.” The twinkle in his eyes was visible in the lamplight.
Their kisses were filled with an unquenched longing and an unmistakable joy, as if they had each been lost a long time and only now found themselves home.
“I have wanted you a long time, Heather. I confess, at times I battled with myself to keep my hands off you. But I would not take what you were not willing or ready to give.”
Exhilarated, she ran her fingers through his dark waves. “I love and admire you, Matthew, more than I can put into words. And you already know I love the children. My prayers are truly being answered. God is giving me all the desires of my heart.”
He drew back and motioned for her to stand. As he stood facing her, he took each of her hands in his. “I have come to an important decision, Heather.”
The intensity of his gaze and subtle smile was intriguing. “What is that?”
“I want my bed back.” His teasing eyes captured hers. “And I would like it back tonight.”
“Hmm ...” She smiled coyly. “And what of Mr. Lamont and his annulment papers?”
With an arm around each other they walked back into their home. He whispered in her ear. “They shall not be worth much by tomorrow.”
The next morning, she and Matthew teased and laughed all through breakfast, with the children joining in the fun.
Several times, Mary appeared suspicious as she observed each of them. Finally, she climbed onto her father’s lap and asked, “Does this mean Heather is going to stay? I want her to stay.”
Heather winked at the little girl and smiled as Matthew hugged her.
Matthew pulled at a strand of Mary’s hair. “Oh yes, my sweet, we shall not let Heather get away. She is here to stay. She is our captive—our beautiful, dear captive. Somehow, children, somehow over these past months, we have managed to capture her heart.”
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A Heart Set Free Page 24
