Losing Control
Page 9
“Are you asking to move in with me?” Caleb’s hand fluttered to his throat as what Raven was saying sank in. He’d never considered taking on a roommate, but Raven was so much more than that. He was starting to become Caleb’s everything, and that scared him. Jacob had been his entire world at one point, and his death had nearly killed Caleb.
Raven slid his tongue over his bottom lip as his brows dipped. This was a complete turnaround from when Raven had asked Caleb to move in with him, and at the time, Caleb had known he hadn’t meant the offer.
Now Raven was hesitant.
“I mean…” Raven rubbed his nape. “When I asked you at your job, I got this cold lump of fear in my chest. I felt panic setting in.”
Caleb wanted to get upset about Raven’s flip-floppiness, but he couldn’t. How could Caleb fault him for making a hasty decision when they didn’t even know each other? They still didn’t know one another, but it felt different this time. Caleb wasn’t sure how, but it did.
“I don’t feel that panic now,” Raven said. “I’m not saying I’m easy to live with, but I don’t think my bad habits are a deal breaker. We could do it on a trial basis and see how that goes, or we could—”
Caleb placed his finger over Raven’s lips. He could tell Raven was struggling to explain his reasons and Caleb didn’t want him to keep flailing. “You said we’re mates and that we’re in this for life. This might be a bit rushed, but I’d love for you to live with me.”
Raven grinned as he gently bit Caleb’s finger. Caleb smiled, but on the inside, he was shaking. Too much was going on right now, and at the top of that list was Kovachi dying to get his hands on him, and his means of accomplishing that was sitting right next to Caleb.
Chapter Nine
Caleb remembered falling asleep on the couch, curled into Raven’s side. So why on earth was the couch moving? He squished his eyebrows together as he slowly came awake. The first thing he became aware of was that he was in a seat, not sprawled over Raven’s chest.
The next was the sound of passing cars, and the pulsing light from the streetlamps that crossed his vision every few seconds. As his grogginess cleared Caleb sat up and looked around.
He was in his Honda.
His heart thundered as he turned his head to see Raven at the wheel. He was soaked with sweat, his canines were elongated, and his knuckles were paper-white against the steering wheel. He kept shaking his head rapidly, like he’d just gotten a hard chill—the kind of shaking one does when goose bumps cover one’s body. He also kept twisting his neck, as though it was sore.
“Raven?”
When he gave Caleb a side glance, his eyes didn’t quite seem like his own. The pupils were dilated and the skin around them was slightly squinted.
“It’s-it’s not me.” He slammed his palm against the steering wheel so hard that it should have cracked. “I-I called Devil. He’s on his way to intercept.”
How had Raven gotten Caleb from his apartment to his car without him waking up? Why hadn’t he woken Caleb to tell him Kovachi was controlling him? “Where’re you taking me?”
Raven rapidly shook his head again. A bead of sweat trickled down the side of his face, cutting through the layer of perspiration already clinging to him. “I’m not gonna do this.” He shook his head again. “I’m not.”
The dark interior made Raven seem otherworldly. Caleb was fully aware his mate wasn’t human, but since he’d never seen him change into anything, that fact had kind of drifted to the back of Caleb’s mind.
Now the knowledge that Raven’s wasn’t wholly human was at the forefront of Caleb’s brain. Raven’s head kept jerking back and forth and he snarled every few seconds.
Caleb remained silent. His gut told him no amount of begging or trying to talk Raven into stopping the car would work. Caleb simply stared at him as Raven turned corners, ran red lights, and blew past stop signs. If he’d stopped the car or even slowed down, Caleb would’ve jumped out. But Raven never gave him that chance as he sped through the city streets.
Hell, at this point Caleb would take a police chase. At least the cops would stay on Raven and then his mate wouldn’t have a chance to hand him over. Caleb had to think of how to get out of this, but what could he really do?
Devil’s truck zoomed around them and red taillights flashed, but Raven swerved around him and kept going. Devil tried again with no luck. Raven wasn’t stopping for anyone.
“Put your seat belt on.” Rave wiped at the sweat on his face with his shaky arm. “Make sure it’s snug.”
Caleb reached for the belt, then snapped his head up to look at Raven as he wondered what his mate was about to do.
“Do it now,” Raven snarled.
With wide eyes, Caleb secured the seat belt in place. As soon as it clicked, Raven disappeared and a large tan cat took his place.
“Oh fuck!”
The car raced at full speed. Caleb tried to grab for the wheel, but the belt held him back. Tires shrieked as horns honked, but his Honda kept going. The cat just sat there, as though he was just along for the ride.
“Thanks for fucking warning me.” He thought of unsnapping his seat belt, but Caleb wasn’t going anywhere near that cougar. He just might rip Caleb’s arm off if he tried to take control of the wheel.
Caleb wasn’t sure if Devil saw the cat or if he assumed from the erratic driving that Raven had lost control of the car, but he pulled back in front of them and let Caleb’s front grill hit his rear bumper. He used his truck as a brake and the Honda began to decelerate.
Then the wheel turned and the driver’s tire hopped the curb at a gentle pace and tapped the concrete trash can there. Caleb just sat there, holding his seat belt with a death grip. He had a large cougar next to him, and it kept shaking its head the way Raven had.
Having a sorcerer controlling his mate was one thing. Even though Caleb didn’t think he could talk Raven out of taking him to Kovachi, at least he could talk to him. Having this huge cat under a sorcerer’s influence made Caleb want to wet himself.
Caleb kept his gaze locked on the cat as the passenger door jerked open. Devil released his belt and yanked him from the car. The cat yowled loudly, jerking across the seat. Devil slammed the door, and Caleb’s legs buckled. He would’ve crumpled to the ground if Devil hadn’t caught him and leaned him against the car.
“You okay?”
“Fuck no.” Caleb looked back through the window and couldn’t believe how majestic Raven was, even if the cougar was currently tearing the front seats apart.
Jacob’s car would be destroyed if they couldn’t calm Raven down. Caleb slapped the window. “Bad kitty!”
“I don’t think that’s gonna—”
“You stop that right now!” Caleb slapped the window again. The cougar raised his head, then cocked it to the side, a large piece of leather hanging from his jaw. “You eat my car and I’m gonna kick your ass!”
The leather dropped from his mouth.
Devil chuckled. “Well I’ll be damned.”
“You lay down right now, kitty.” Caleb had no idea what he was doing. All he knew was that he couldn’t bear to see Jacob’s car destroyed. His brother had loved the sedan.
The cat stretched over the front seats. He was looking directly at Caleb, and Caleb wasn’t above admitting that a cat of Raven’s size scared him to death.
“Is this the first time you’ve seen him shift?”
Caleb nodded.
“At least he’s contained. You can get used to it without being afraid now.”
Caleb crinkled his brows as he broke eye contact with Raven to look at Devil. “You’re shitting me, right? He’s nothing but solid muscle, and I’m frightened he’ll break the glass at any second and try to carry me off while I’m dangling from his mouth. How am I supposed to not be afraid of him?”
“Nah, he looks at you more like his cub.”
That would make Caleb Raven’s son. Earlier he’d had to pretend to be Raven’s brother. This was getting creep
y. “You’re not helping.”
“We need to get this car off the street.” Devil looked around. “Don’t need humans seeing a cougar trapped in there.”
“You know any tow-truck drivers who’ll keep quiet?” Caleb couldn’t stop watching the cat. He stared up at Caleb with soulful eyes, as if he regretted what he’d done.
“Mark’s Garage in Brac Village, but he’s pretty fucking far.”
“Do we have a choice?” The cougar batted at the window and let out a low yowl. Caleb turned and scowled at him. “No way am I letting you out.”
He laid his head on his paws, the lower half of his body now wedged between the seats, his ass on the backseat.
“He fought it,” Devil said. “He called me when he took off. He said he couldn’t stop himself, but he wasn’t handing you over.”
Raven had kept his word and made sure Caleb stayed safe. How could he not love the guy for fighting against such a powerful spell? He’d even been willing to fly through the windshield just to stop the car. If that didn’t say love, then Caleb didn’t know what did.
“I’ll make the call,” Devil said. “We just need to make sure no one sees him until Mark gets here.”
Caleb was still leaning against the car, but he’d turned, and his front was pressing into the Honda as he stared down at Raven. He still had that sad look in his eyes. Caleb had to fight not to open the door and brush his hand over the cat’s head to reassure him everything was fine and Caleb wasn’t mad at him.
He hoped the tow truck got there before he couldn’t resist any longer and tried to pet the pretty kitty and came back with a nub.
Raven wanted to pound his head against a brick wall until he dislodged Kovachi from his mind. He couldn’t believe the bastard had taken control of him like that—to the point Raven had scooped Caleb off the couch and carried him to his car. Raven had seen himself doing it, had heard his inner voice shouting for him to stop, and felt his cougar going apeshit at what he was doing, but he felt as if his head and body had become two separate entities.
Now he lay in Caleb’s car, feeling like total shit for what he’d done and too damn embarrassed to shift back into his human form to try to give some half-assed excuse.
Besides, with his cougar free, Raven no longer felt Kovachi’s tentacles. But he knew he couldn’t stay like this forever. He technically could, but the longer he remained in his animal form, the greater risk he took of losing himself to his beast forever.
So he lay in the backseat with his shame as the car was hitched to a tow truck and driven to the apartment building. He hadn’t expected to see Christian and Maverick waiting for him.
Two of the Ultionem members. Fucking fantastic. As if Raven’s night hadn’t been bad enough.
When the tow truck halted, the guy behind the wheel went to work freeing the Honda. Caleb stayed by Devil’s side, biting his thumbnail as he stared at Raven through the window. He didn’t want to face Christian or Maverick or see the pity in Devil’s eyes. But the fear in Caleb’s was what really gutted him.
Raven might have stopped himself from taking his mate to the enemy, but he’d still betrayed Caleb. He should’ve woken his mate and told him to run. He was a jackass who didn’t deserve Caleb.
Maverick opened the back door, and Raven knew why. The guy stood close to seven feet, was leanly muscled, and one badass son of a bitch. If Raven went wild, he had no doubt Maverick could take him down with ease. He’d heard stories about how he’d battled demons, trolls, vampires, and otherworldly beings. Keeping a cougar under control would be a cakewalk for him.
Raven climbed out of the backseat and went right to his mate, then licked Caleb’s hand before sitting on his haunches. Caleb waited a few beats, then lifted his hand and petted Raven’s head.
His mate didn’t know how much that simple gesture meant to Raven.
“We need to get you upstairs before someone sees you.” Maverick closed the back door and Devil got behind the wheel to park the Honda.
None of this was Raven’s fault, yet he felt like he was walking to his court martial. No one could interfere in a mating, not even the Ultionem, but that rule didn’t apply when a mate was put in danger.
Declan had told him about a vampire who’d been punished after letting his mate walk out, and said mate had gotten lost in the tunnels under the city where some ancient being lurked.
They didn’t always interfere, but that vampire was an annihilator, directly under Christian’s command, and Gavino and the Ultionem held them to a higher standard.
Just like they did the Knights.
If Christian and Maverick wanted to punish him, so be it, but they needed to come up with a solution, too. It wasn’t fun having some evil guy in his head, pulling his strings like Raven was some kind of puppet.
They arrived at the apartment without anyone seeing him. Thank fuck for small favors. Even so, Raven doubted anyone would have said anything with Maverick and Christian at his sides. One scathing look from them would send anyone with common sense running.
Raven liked the fact that Caleb kept a grip on his fur the entire time. He wasn’t afraid of Raven’s cougar anymore, which was a damn miracle after what he’d just done. Raven couldn’t understand how Caleb could still trust him, but he did, and damn, Raven loved the shit out of him for that.
Maverick opened the apartment door, which Raven hadn’t locked in his haste to get to the garage. When they entered, he saw Panahasi seated on the couch. He made quite the sight since he was just as tall as Maverick, but broader, dwarfing the couch under him.
“Have you found a counter spell?” Caleb asked when they entered.
“Not yet.” Panahasi rose to his feet. The presence of a third Ultionem member meant things were looking pretty grim for him. Raven wanted to shift and argue that three members weren’t necessary to punish him, but he was afraid Kovachi would take over if he turned back.
“Then why are you here?” Caleb asked. He looked like a midget standing among giants. Raven moved closer to him, even though he knew none of them would hurt Caleb.
“Because,” Panahasi said, “I have a temporary solution.” He waved toward the bedroom. “I just need Raven on the bed.”
Caleb’s grip tightened in his fur. “What kind of a solution?”
The demon leader gave Caleb a gentle smile. “I’m going to put up a wall in his mind, blocking out Kovachi. It’s not permanent, but for now, it’s the best we have.” He turned to Raven. “And no probing at the wall. It’ll already be flimsy enough.”
Raven didn’t care. Getting some reprieve from the constant shadow would be a relief. Still, he was hesitant to let someone else monkey with his mind.
“On the bed,” Panahasi commanded.
Raven looked at Caleb, then padded to the bedroom and climbed onto the bed. Caleb sat next to him, brushing his hand over Raven’s fur, and damn if his fingers didn’t bring Raven comfort.
“I’ll be right here,” Caleb said. “I’m not gonna let anyone hurt you again.”
If Raven could’ve laughed, he would have. Caleb was throwing Raven’s words right back at him, and knowing this little slip of a human had his back felt odd and wonderful.
Panahasi sat on the opposite side of the bed. “This might hurt a little.” He laid his hand on Raven’s head.
Caleb scowled. “I just told him I wouldn’t let anyone hurt him again.”
“But this is for his own good, little one,” Christian said from the doorway.
“You have to change into your human form. I have to see where to put the wall,” Panahasi said.
Raven closed his eyes and braced himself. As soon as he shifted, Kovachi tried to take over. He was more powerful this time, and Raven couldn’t understand how. He tried to fight against Kovachi’s overpowering command, but he was losing the fight. The urge to grab Caleb hit him hard, and his cougar went wild. It wanted to fight, it wanted to eliminate the threat, but since the threat was in his head, his beast could only yowl and pace.
“Stop! Stop!” Raven considered himself a strong man, and pain wasn’t anything new to him. But this shit? At this rate he would die before Panahasi got the first brick in place.
“You can do this.” Caleb’s voice was at his ear. “But if you really can’t, I’ll make him stop.”
Raven’s body was locked in place, muscles tight. His claws slid free and embedded in the mattress as he screamed again. Red-hot lightning bolts sliced through his mind as the pressure mounted.
Kovachi was fighting back, pushing hard, like a person would do in a strong wind. But Raven felt the bastard slowly losing his hold.
“Almost done,” Panahasi said.
Tears sprang to Raven’s eyes as he struggled to breathe. Caleb’s hand gripped his arm, but it felt ice-cold compared to Raven’s fiery skin. “Don’t let me go.”
“I promise. I won’t.” Tears trickled down Caleb’s cheeks as his hold on Raven’s arm tightened. “I’m so sorry you have to go through this.”
His mate’s touch was the only thing keeping Raven grounded and sane as Panahasi practically cracked his dome apart.
Kovachi screamed before his voice faded. When Panahasi lifted his hand, Raven rolled to the head of the bed, then shifted, yowling at everyone in the room as he bared his canines.
Christian started forward, but Panahasi held up a hand. “It’s the pain. It’ll subside in a moment and he’ll calm down.”
Raven banged his head into the wall, then backpedaled and fell from the bed. The electric fire in his brain eased until he could finally think. He lay panting on the carpet, jerking slightly from the small aftershocks.
“Remember,” Panahasi said as he hunched down by Raven’s cat, “Leave the damn wall alone.”
Raven finally understood the warning. The slight pressure was irritating—it felt as though he was wearing a baseball cap that was two sizes too small—but not enough to make him disobey.