Writing the Wolf: A wolf shifter paranormal romance (Wolves of Crookshollow Book 2)

by Steffanie Holmes

  “I’m so sorry.” Caleb’s hand cupped my cheek.

  “Don’t be. I was an idiot. I should have seen it coming, how it would end. My therapist said that I stayed in Old Garsmouth for so long afterward because I was punishing myself, and there’s probably some truth in it. The town was stony toward me before, but now they were outright hostile. I couldn’t go out on the street without people calling me names or throwing things at me. My car got trashed three times, and the garage in the village refused to fix it for me. The wife’s blonde friends would follow me around the shops yelling at me to go back to Africa. People threw rocks through my windows and left cruel notes in my letterbox. But Susan was the worst. She made my life an absolute hell. She downgraded my job from accountant to secretary, cut my pay in half, dumped three people’s worth of work on me, and threatened to fire me for negligence if I didn’t step up. I should have quit, but I felt like I had to prove I wasn’t what they said I was.”

  “But you did leave. Why?”

  I sucked in a breath. Here it was. “One night, I came home from visiting my parents in Leeds. I rounded the corner of the street, and noticed a strange, flickering orange light. It was a house on fire. It was my house on fire.”

  The words sounded hollow, like they weren’t coming from my mouth, like I was listening to someone else telling their story. But it was my story, and it really happened.

  “Fuck.” Caleb’s fingers clenched on my shoulder.

  “The firefighters were there when I pulled up, but they could only do so much. My beautiful little cottage burned to the ground that night, with my beloved cat and all my worldly possessions inside it.”

  “Those bastards,” Caleb hissed, his embrace so tight it crushed my bones.

  “Tell me about it.” My voice cracked. A single tear escaped from my eye and trickled down my cheek. I hope Caleb hadn’t seen it, but he reached up with a hand and wiped it away. The gesture made my eyes spill over, and more tears fell. “I get panic attacks about it.”

  “Panic attacks?”

  “Yeah. One minute I’ll be fine, and the next I’ll suddenly realise everyone around me is white, and my brain thinks they’re all closing in on me, like a mob ready to pounce. I get this overwhelming, paralysing fear, and my whole body shuts down. My head spins. I get dizzy and my brain turns to mush. Sometimes, I’ll even faint. My therapist said it would take awhile for them to stop, and maybe they never would.”

  “That’s terrible. But what about the people who torched your house? Are they in jail?”

  “They got away with it. The police investigated, of course, but the investigating officer is Susan’s husband’s friend. Draw your own conclusions. I have.”

  “And the guy? What happened to him?”

  “Sam? Oh, he’s still the mayor. His wife publicly forgave him. He made this really heart-wrenching speech about mistakes and re-dedicating himself to looking after the good of the town, and they re-elected him.” I laughed woodenly, remembering how remorseful Sam sounded, how his voice cracked when he talked about how he was going to turn over a new leaf. “His approval ratings shot through the roof. He’s still lording it over the whole county, with his forgiving wife by his side. The perfect family.”

  “Fuck. No wonder you don’t want to be with a white guy. I don’t blame you.”

  Caleb’s jaw was clenched, his expression stony. He looked furious on my behalf. I hadn’t realised how much tension I’d been carrying around about it, until I’d started talking. Seeing that Caleb wasn’t on their side sent all the tension away. My limbs slackened, the knot in my stomach starting to unfurl.

  “I’m sorry, Caleb,” I sobbed with relief. It was out now. He knew everything.

  “Why are you sorry? They’re the ones who—”

  “I didn’t mean to paint you in the same brush as them. You’re not. You’re so nice to me, and I don’t understand why.”

  “Hey, you’re pretty damn nice to me, too.” Caleb loosened his grip and resettled himself, laying flat on his back, his arm wrapped around me, stroking my shoulder. “You shouldn’t say things like that about yourself. You know why I’m nice to you. I like you. More than like you, in fact. And I know it’s only been a few days, but I can’t imagine my life without you now.”

  “Caleb …” My voice croaked and my chest tightened again.

  “It’s okay, Rosa. I know you need time. After what happened, I don’t blame you. I’m here for you whenever you’re ready. And in the meantime …” He raised an eyebrow suggestively. “We can always do more of what we just did.”

  “I like the sound of that.” I nestled into Caleb’s shoulder. “Have you ever been with a black woman before?”

  “Once.” He grinned. “We fucked in the bathroom at a shitty club in Aberdeen. She called out some other guy’s name. Her hair wasn’t nearly as cool as yours.”

  I laughed.

  “I don’t care what colour your skin is, Rosa. I think you’re beautiful, and clever, and funny, and amazing. And I wouldn’t have you any other way. If you can handle being with a werewolf—”

  “I can.”

  “—then I can take anything you got, you gorgeous woman.”

  I couldn’t think of anything to say after that. The words I love you were dangerously close to escaping my lips, but I couldn’t say them. I couldn’t take that risk now, and potentially spoil the hard-won peace I could feel settling over me. Caleb was right, I needed time to figure things out between us before I made any kind of commitment.

  Instead, I snuggled deeper into his embrace, breathed in his intoxicating scent, and fell into a vivid daydream about what it would be like to be married to a werewolf.

  12

  Caleb

  Rosa’s eyes closed, and her breathing became steady. She’d fallen asleep on my shoulder.

  My stomach rumbled. I desperately wanted to head down to the drawing room and partake of that supper Alex had talked about, but there was no way in hell I was going to wake Rosa up, not after everything she’d been through over the last few days, over the last year.

  The woman deserved a little bit of peace.

  Rosa’s words swirled around in my mind, and all the pain that soaked through them swelled inside me. I’d been part of a pack where I had no allies except my mother, but I couldn’t imagine living in a village where everyone hated me. I couldn’t even fathom how anyone could look at her and see anything other than a smart, fun, gorgeous woman. To burn down her house? Because she made a mistake? It just seemed out of proportion.

  You can’t understand what it’s like for me, she’d said to me. From everything she’d just said, that was true. I couldn’t understand how anyone could hate another person so much that they would consider committing an indictable crime just to drive them away. I’d always cared much more about who a person was or what they did than their skin colour, but I was beginning to realise that was because I had the luxury not to care.

  Rosa didn’t have that luxury. Life had been cruel to her. But that ended, right now. She needed protecting, and I was the one who would protect her. No racist bastard was ever going to hurt her like that again.

  Needless to say, with Rosa sound asleep on my shoulder, I didn’t make it to supper that evening. I woke up in darkness with the worst hunger imaginable. Moonlight streamed in the window, and my wolf strained against my skin, desperate for release. I lifted my hand above my head, and noticed to my horror a line of fine grey fur running down my forearm. It was only a couple of days until the full moon, when my wolf would take over. At least now I knew that I could leave Rosa here with Ryan and Alex and Marcus when Luke and I went feral.

  My stomach rumbled. I had to get something to eat, or the wolf was going to win this battle, and I didn’t think Rosa would appreciate waking up next to a drooling beast.

  Rosa was still sound asleep. I lifted her arm and slid out from beneath her, replacing my body with a pillow. She mumbled something and squeezed her arms around the pillow, lifting up her kn
ees and giving me a delicious view of her gorgeous rear.

  I padded through the silent house, and found my way to the enormous kitchen. I was surprised to find it already occupied. Ryan’s butler Simon stood at the stove, stirring something in a large bowl.

  “Good morning, sir,” he said pleasantly.

  “Hey, Simon. You cooking breakfast already?”

  “Master Ryan requested everyone congregate in the green drawing room at seven sharp. I will make sure you’re all properly fed.”

  “Seven?” I yawned. “That sounds early. What’s the time now?”

  “A quarter past five.”

  Yikes. “I missed supper last night, and I’ve woken up starving. Is there anything I can munch on to tide me over until seven?”

  Simon walked to the freezer and inspected the contents. “I have raw leg of pork, if that pleases you?”

  It took me a few moments to realise the butler was making a joke. “Ha ha.”

  “Sorry, sir. Sometimes one must give into temptation. If you can wait for ten minutes, I will make you something hot. Should I prepare something for Miss Rosa, as well?”

  “Yes please, and I’ll take a pot of tea up to her, as well.”

  True to his word, Simon bustled around the kitchen, opening packets and popping bread in the toaster. Less than eight minutes later, he handed me a tray of scrambled eggs, homemade grainy bread, lightly toasted and slathered with butter and jam, and a pot of hot tea.

  “Anything else I can help you with, sir?”

  “Yes.” I fiddled with the fake Benedict ring on my finger. “Could you bring me a really strong piece of twine?”

  Simon nodded, and disappeared into the depths of the house. A few moments later he turned, carrying a thick strand of leather cord. I took the ring off my finger, threaded it on the cord, and knotted it around my neck. Now, even if I shifted, the ring would always stay with me.

  I took the tray gratefully and went back up to Rosa’s room. Having a butler was pretty damn awesome.

  Rosa sat up when I entered the room, her bright eyes meeting mine. “I woke up and you were gone.”

  She sounded kind of grumpy.

  “I only went for food and coffee.” I pulled a small table over to the edge of the bed and perched the tray on top. “I brought you back some tea, but it takes so long to find my way through the labyrinth of this house that it’s probably cold by now.”

  She laughed her big, happy laugh. “It’s true. This place is insane. I can’t believe someone as normal as Ryan lives in a house like this.”

  “I’m not sure I’d classify Ryan as normal. Despite the way it looks on the outside, he loves this place like it was his child. Raynard Hall has been in his family for centuries. I bet it makes your old boyfriend’s estate look like a kid’s dollhouse.”

  Rosa’s face darkened. “Sam wasn’t my boyfriend.”

  I filled a cup with tea and held it to her. “Hey, no worries. I shouldn’t have joked about it.”

  “No. I’d prefer that you didn’t.”

  Her tone was so strong, I almost dropped the mug I was holding.

  “I won’t, ever again.” I ventured a tiny smile, which she didn’t return. She did take the tea though, giving the hot liquid a tentative sip. I studied her face. Was I imagining it, or did she seem a bit off, like she was trying desperately to hold back a great well of rage bubbling up inside her.

  No. I must be imagining it. There was no reason for her to feel upset, not after everything we shared last night. She was probably just grumpy from a lack of sleep.

  “I spoke to Simon in the kitchen. Everyone’s going to meet in the drawing room at seven, and we’ll come up with a plan.” …

  Rosa yawned. “I guess I’d better get into the shower then, to make myself presentable.”

  My cock hardened at the thought of warm, soapy water cascading down her body. “Do you want me to join you?”

  She shook her head, setting down her cup. “I’ve been successfully cleaning myself for twenty-three years. I think I can manage.”

  Okay, something was definitely up. Rosa never missed an opportunity to flirt. She was already scrambling off the bed, the food untouched. “Rosa, you’re okay, right?”

  “Yeah.” She grabbed her overnight bag and dashed toward the bathroom without looking at me. “I’m fine.”

  “Are you sure—” The door slammed behind her, and I heard her slide the lock into place.

  You’re not fine. I stared at the locked bathroom door. But I don’t know why.

  Every member of my pack sat around the drawing room, their eyes on me. My pack. I still couldn’t believe I had a pack. Luke, as the older wolf and the only one currently mated, was the de-facto alpha, but the first thing he’d done when Rosa and I entered the room was officially sign over that duty to me. The pack voted and agreed.

  I, Caleb Lowe, the adopted, forgotten, neglected child of Amos Lowe, was now the alpha.

  Granted, my pack was probably the most motley collection of individuals ever to be assembled under one shifter banner. We had Luke and I, cousins who only found out each other existed less than a year ago. Then there was Luke’s wife Anna, who was joining us via a video call on Ryan’s laptop. There was Ryan Raynard himself – the reclusive artist with the impossibly enormous home – and his brother Marcus, a brutish, lad’s lad who seemed to have only football and girls on his mind at any one time. Standing by the espresso machine in the corner, expertly making coffee to everyone’s exacting specifications, was Alex, who’d already informed me she had some other friends who might be interested in joining the pack should we need their expertise.

  We weren’t exactly a match for the Macleans, but it was definitely a start.

  As soon as everyone was seated, coffee in hand, and Simon had arranged trays of pulled pork sliders and tiny eggs benedict bites on the coffee table, I filled everyone in on what had happened at Rosa’s cabin, and what Luke had discovered about the Benedict ring. I showed them the fake ring I had around my neck.

  Everyone’s eyes locked on me as I spoke, a strange sensation after years of carrying out barked orders from my stepfather and the other Maclean pack alphas. I’d never had a chance to lead, and I wanted to be good. But now wasn’t the time to second-guess myself – I had to be strong and decisive in order to keep Rosa safe.

  Speaking of Rosa, she hadn’t cheered up much since her shower. She was now the only one not looking at me. Instead, she toyed with the spoon in her coffee, staring at her knees. I still had no idea what was bothering her, and I hoped she’d tell me soon.

  “What do we think Angus and Robbie were up to with this attack?” Ryan asked. “Are they trying to send us a message?”

  I shrugged. “Honestly, I think it was Angus’ attempt to ensure he had the last word. It’s a classic Maclean move, to terrorise intended victims with attacks like this, to make them feel unsafe. Rosa’s been receiving a few SMS messages with similar types of juvenile insults. Perhaps my brothers know about what happened to her back in Old Garsmouth and are attempting to use that against Rosa.”

  “What happened in Old Garsmouth?” Alex asked.

  I glanced over at Rosa. Her jaw was set hard, her fingers clenching the handle of her cup so tight, her knuckles were white. I knew everyone in this room would 100% want to kill the bastards in that village, but Rosa didn’t know that. And it wasn’t my story to tell, so I changed the subject.

  “That’s not important now. What’s important is that we need to secure Rosa’s safety as soon as possible. I think Angus and Robbie are probably on their way back to Aberdeen right now, to return with reinforcements, but I won’t feel certain until we’ve checked over the whole area. We’ll split into two teams, one fox and one wolf to each team. Rosa will stay here, at Raynard Hall, where it’s safest. Luke, you and Marcus go back to the cabin, see if you can find any clues as to who put the graffiti there, and follow any scent trails. Ryan and I will go—”

  “I don’t think it was them,�
� Rosa said, her voice shaking.

  I stared at her. She was folded and refolding her hands in her lap.

  “I keep going over and over what I saw,” she said. “The man running into the trees was shorter and skinnier than Caleb’s stepbrothers. Also, he was a human. If it was Angus or Robbie, wouldn’t they have changed into their wolf form so they could escape faster?”

  “Maybe not. Perhaps they were wearing clothes and didn’t want to leave them behind,” I said.

  “No one in your family seems particularly fond of clothes,” she snot back, her face sneering as she regarded my naked torso.

  “Are you sure about this? Because the way you described it to me yesterday, he was quite far away by the time you saw him, and sometimes tall trees can distort perspective—”

  “I know what I saw,” Rosa insisted. “Are you doubting me?”

  Her words came out as a harsh rasp. A shudder ran through me.

  “I’m not doubting you,” I said. “I’m just making sure we have the exact information and we don’t jump to conclusions. If the guy you saw isn’t one of my stepbrothers, that means we have a different problem – they’ve left someone here in Crookshollow to keep an eye on us.”

  “Is there anything I can do?” Alex asked.

  “Sure. Keep Rosa company.”

  “I don’t need babysitting,” Rosa snapped.

  “I’m not saying that. I’m just saying that you and Alex should hang out here, where it’s safe.”