Writing the Wolf: A wolf shifter paranormal romance (Wolves of Crookshollow Book 2)

by Steffanie Holmes

  “Rosa,” he said, his whole face dropping.

  “Caleb, stop this car right now.”

  He must have heard the finality in my voice, because he pulled over to the side of the road, and parked. His hands on the wheel appeared white, and they twitched as he put the handbrake on. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean it. I was just worried about you, and I—”

  “Goodbye, Caleb.” I grabbed the door handle, my fingers fumbling for the seatbelt. I won’t cry. I was so past crying now. Everything felt oddly calm, serene. I was doing what I had to do, what I should have done four days ago.

  “Rosa, please—”

  I flung the door open, and a gust of cold air caressed my face. I pulled myself to my feet, the movement visceral, like tearing off one of my own limbs. “I never want to talk to you, ever again.”

  I slammed the door, and sprinted away from him, not daring to look back.

  You’re such a fool. You thought you’d finally found someone who understood you, who was ready to love you for who you were but it was all a lie.

  Now that I’d left Caleb behind me, the rage I’d felt toward him slipped away, replaced by pure, horrific sadness. I wanted nothing more than to head back to my beautiful cabin and have a good cry, but that wouldn’t work. Caleb would think to follow me there, and the words DIE, BLACK BITCH were still scrawled across the wall. I don’t think I could bear to see them again right now.

  I need a drink.

  I remembered Caleb mentioning a local pub, so I wandered aimlessly around the high street, searching for it through tear-stained eyes. Not far from Bewitching Bites, I found it, down the end of a tiny alley. It was past 2 p.m., and the place was nearly deserted. My stomach rumbled. I hadn’t eaten anything since breakfast.

  I hovered in the doorway, afraid. Should I really go in there, looking like hell? I’d just broken up with Caleb, was this really what I wanted to do?

  You can’t break up with him. You were never going out in the first place. You were shagging him and he was trying to control you.

  I don’t need Caleb to protect me. I can do it just fine on my own, the way I’d been doing for twenty-two years before I met him.

  Be bold, Rosa. Be bold. Go and get yourself a drink.

  I walked up to the bar and slid into one of the stools, staring at the rows of spirits stacked behind the counter, their labels blurring through my wet eyes. The thought occurred to me that I’d have to start looking for a new cabin in another forest. There is nothing else to do now. I couldn’t stay in Crookshollow, not with all these memories.

  At least I still had my money. It couldn’t buy me the respect and kindness of other humans, but it could damn well buy me some peace. I’ll go to London, get on the first plane to somewhere. Anywhere. Maybe I’ll do what they all want me to do, and fuck off to Africa.

  My stomach rumbled. I picked up the enormous plastic menu and hunted through my options, fighting to keep my tears at bay as a young publican hovered in front of me.

  “Hi, I’d like to order your full English breakfast, with a side of extra hash browns. And a glass of merlot … no, better make it a bottle.”

  He gave me a sideways look as he scribbled down my order. “Sure. Are you waiting for someone? Do you want me to get you a second glass?”

  “No. I do not want a second glass.” I turned the menu over. “Is this true? All your desserts come from the Bewitching Bites bakery?”

  “Yeah. We used to make ‘em ourselves, but Belinda at the bakery is too damn good.”

  “Then I’ll have a slice of the Heaven & Hell cake, as well.“ I patted my pockets. I had my wallet with me, but I’d left my mobile phone back at the manor. “And could you call me a taxi, please? I need to get to the train station after I’ve finished eating.”

  My car was also still at Raynard Hall, and I wasn’t about to go back to get it. I’d take the train into London, then get on a plane from there.

  “Sure thing.” He darted away, and came back a few minutes later with my bottle and a wine glass. “Have a seat anywhere. I’ll bring your food over.”

  I slipped into an empty booth in the darkest corner of the pub. From there, I had a view of the front door, so I could see if anyone who I didn’t want to talk to chanced to come in. I poured myself a glass and gulped it down, then poured another. The wine tasted like vinegar. I wondered if anything would ever taste good again.

  Ten minutes later, my new best friend the publican delivered a tray of sorrow-drowning food. “I’ve booked your taxi for half an hour’s time,” he told me, handing me a card with the details. “I’ll give you a wave when he arrives.”

  “Cheers.” I lifted my glass to him in a limp gesture of thanks, then proceeded to angrily eat my way through an enormous plate of sausages, baked beans, bacon, mushroom, black pudding, and eggs.

  The food sat in my stomach like a huge, undigested lump. Every time I pictured Caleb, all red in the face, those angry, hateful words falling out of his mouth, I wanted to throw it all up again.

  It’s your own fault. You fell for his whole protective schtick. You believed he could be different.

  But he wasn’t different at all. Now you’re alone again, and broken, and stuffing your face with cake. At least he can’t burn your house down this time.

  I stared at the ceiling, wishing like hell that things could be different, that I could rewind and freeze time to this morning, when I was falling for a hot, sweet, funny guy who totally wasn’t a dick.

  I feel a presence over my shoulder. I whirl around, ready to tell Caleb to fuck right off. Bu it was only my bartender, looking almost apologetic. “Your taxi’s arrived. He’s up on the high street. The driver’s name is Barry.”

  “Thanks.” I shovelled the last mouthful of cake into my mouth, grabbed my coat, and headed for the door.

  A chill ran down my spine as I stepped out into the alley. I whirled around, but there was no one behind me. No one else was in the alley, either. I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself. You’re just paranoid because of all the running and hiding you’ve been doing over the last couple of days. Caleb’s made you like this. It’s time to be bold and stop being afraid.

  There’s no one here with you, except possibly ghosts. Crookshollow probably has a lot of ghosts.

  I put my head down and set off in a brisk walk. At the top of the alley, I caught sight of the taxi. It was parked across a disabled space and a yellow line, with all the audacity only a cabbie could muster. The driver was hunched forward over the wheel, a wool cap pulled low over his face. He didn’t look up as I sank into the backseat.

  “Barry, was it?” The driver nodded, still not looking at me. “I’d like to go to the train station.”

  He grunted a reply, and pulled out into the street.

  While we weaved through traffic, I pulled out my wallet and inspected its contents. I had my passport, fifty quid in cash, and all my cards. I would be able to buy a cheap phone at the airport, so I could at least call my parents and tell them what happened. Everything I needed to start a new life was right here with me. I was going to be okay.

  I don’t feel okay. I don’t think I’ll ever feel okay again.

  I looked out the window, and spotted the end of the train platform zooming past. Bloody useless cabbie.

  “Um … Barry. We’ve gone past the station. Could you turn around up here, please?”

  From the boot behind me, I heard a scraping sound. As I turned around to see, a shadow loomed out of the boot and lunged at me. Something cold and metallic pressed against my throat. “Move, and you’re a dead woman,” a voice hissed in my ear. A voice with a very familiar Scottish accent.

  It was Angus.

  14

  Caleb

  You’re an Idiot.

  I slammed my head against the steering wheel, as if the pain might somehow undo all the shitty things I’d said and bring Rosa back.

  I can’t believe I said those things. I can’t believe I yelled at that guy i
n the traffic (he did cut me off, but it was no excuse). Why did I have to do that right at that exact moment? My whole body was wound up with tension from not knowing where Rosa was. I was half-expecting to find her torn to pieces on the street, or whisked away to Aberdeen where the Macleads could do anything to her they liked.

  When I’d seen she was just at a bookstore, acting like nothing was wrong, I was so goddamn angry. I was trying to save her life and she was just taking it for granted. And then we’d started fighting, and all my fear and anger came out as harsh, insensitive words. I knew what she’d been through, and yet I’d acted like a complete insensitive idiot.

  And I lost her.

  Someone banged on the car window. I yanked my hands from my face, my whole body surging with hope. But it wasn’t Rosa at the window, it was Luke.

  “What happened? You just drove away in Ryan’s car. Where’s Rosa?”

  “She ran away.”

  “Why did she do that?”

  “I fucked up.” I slammed my head into the wheel again. The horn honked, making both of us jump. “Dammit! She’s out there on her own, Luke. She doesn’t want to speak to me ever again.”

  “Okay.” Luke crossed his arms. “What did you do?”

  “I yelled at her.” My hand clasped around the ring against my chest. It felt heavy, unwieldy. “Then I yelled at a random black guy who cut me off.”

  “Shit, dude. That’s … not good.”

  “No, it’s fucking not good. And now Rosa has run away and I have no idea where she’s gone and—” I glanced at the seat, where her phone was lying on the leather. “She doesn’t even have her phone with her. How am I going to find her?”

  Luke pulled open the door and slid into Rosa’s seat. He patted me on the shoulder. “You can fix this. She can’t have got too far away. We just have to find her, and then you’ll apologise. And you’ll grovel. Women love a good grovel.”

  “I don’t know if that will fix this.”

  “You’ve got to try. She’s worth trying, trust me.”

  “Yeah,” I thought of Rosa’s wonderful laugh, the laugh that could cure all the world’s problems. “Yeah, she is.”

  I dragged myself out of the car, and locked it behind me. Ryan and Marcus were jogging up the street towards us. Luke filled them in on what had happened, while I frantically cast my eyes around in search of her. Which way had she ran? I couldn’t even remember, I’d been so upset.

  “It’ll be okay, cousin,” Luke was saying, patting my shoulder again. “All we have to do is find her, and you’ll get her back. You guys are destined to be together, remember? It’ll all be fine.”

  “I hope so,” Ryan said, his face grim. “We’d better hurry. I just caught a whiff of Angus’ scent. Your stepbrothers are back, and they’re close by.”

  15

  Rosa

  My blood turned as cold as the blade against my jugular. My heart pounded in my ears. How could this happen? How did Angus get into the taxi? Why didn’t the driver …

  The driver pulled off his cap and tossed it on the seat beside him. “I head straight down the M1, right, Angus?” It was Robbie. Of course it was. How did I not see that? How could I be so stupid?

  “Get that knife away from me,” I said through gritted teeth. My fear came out as anger. I’d been on my own for less than an hour, and I’d managed to get myself kidnapped.

  “And give you the perfect opportunity to escape?” Angus sneered in my ear. “I don’t think so, lassie.”

  “We’re in a moving car. What am I going to do? Leap out onto the highway and get myself crushed under a lorry?”

  “She’s right, Angus,” Robbie said. “We’ve got her now. Let’s not draw attention to ourselves.” I noticed his hands gripped the wheel so hard his knuckles had turned white. He was scared, too. I guess he would be. This was a kidnapping, after all. From everything Caleb had told me, he didn’t seem the kidnapping type.

  Angus lowered the weapon. “Don’t try anything stupid,” he hissed against my ear. His hot breath made my stomach turn. I couldn’t believe this guy was Caleb’s brother.

  Caleb.

  His horrible words flashed before my memory again. In the cold reality of the taxi, surrounded by deadly wolves, they didn’t actually sound that bad. If Caleb had grown up with these two charming characters as role models, it was no wonder he said those things. His words had been awful, sure, but his actions over the last few days had been nothing but heroic.

  He lashed out in anger because he was worried about you. Because you’d been cold to him all morning without explanation, and you foolishly ran off without telling him. And look how that ended up for you?

  Nothing like a crazy werewolf holding a knife at your throat to make you reexamine your priorities.

  It’s too late now. I’d told Caleb I never wanted to see him again. Now that he didn’t have to worry about protecting me anymore, he could focus on establishing his pack. I hoped one day he’d become the most powerful pack in all the United Kingdom, and he’d decimate the Macleans once and for all.

  And I hoped he’d find someone to be his mate, someone who didn’t refuse his kindness because she was scared. Maybe he’d even find his fated mate one day.

  I closed my eyes as Angus clambered out of the boot over the seat and slid down beside me, the knife still pressed against my skin. I had to stop thinking about Caleb. After the way I’d spoken to him, a guy who was only trying to protect me, Caleb wasn’t going to come after me.

  Which meant that Angus was going to tear me to pieces. If I was lucky, that was all he’d do. I had to stay alert, in case there was a way out of this. Maybe I could convince them I was now useless to them …

  “This is a waste of time,” I snapped at Angus, who’s settling into the seat beside me and leering at me with a disgusting grin, as though we’re just three good chums on a road trip. “Caleb and I are no longer together. In fact, he hates me. He’s not coming after me. I told him I never wanted to see him again.”

  The words were like poison on my tongue.

  “Aye, do y’hear that, Robbie? They had a lovers tiff. Tell me, lass, have you ever known Caleb to listen to anyone?”

  I didn’t reply.

  “I thought so,” he smirked. “Caleb will be on our tails in a matter of hours. But don’t worry, we’ve no intention of letting him catch up.”

  “If he knows where you’re going, aren’t you afraid he’ll just take a flight and beat you there?”

  Angus shrugged. “Unlikely. He’s on the no-fly list.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I put him there. Come on, Robbo. We need a little music, eh?”

  Robbie fiddled with the radio dials, until he go to one of the local college stations. Jidenna’s “Long Live the Chief” boomed through the taxi. Under normal circumstances, I loved this song, but now the lyrics seemed ominous.

  I stared out the window, watching the rolling countryside, gas stations, and villages speed by. Please Caleb, I pressed the thoughts against my skull, hoping like hell that by some miracle, he’d be able to hear me. I know I blew our fight out of proportion. I know I took everything you said too personally, because I was scared, and I was looking for any excuse to push you away. I have no right to ask you to put yourself in danger to save me. But please … please hear this. I might never see you again, and I want you to know …

  I love you. And I wish … I wish I wasn’t going to die, so I could tell you to your face.

  I love you.

  16

  Caleb

  “No one’s seen her on this side of the street, but I got us some supplies,” Luke panted as he ran up to me. He looked stricken, or perhaps his face was just reflecting my own distress. He pressed a small jar of lycan pills from Clara’s shop into my hand. Both of us were feeling the tug of our wolves, and the full moon was only hours away.

  I scanned the street again, but no answers came. We’d been searching for two hours, but I had no idea where she’d gone.
>
  I’m such an idiot. How could I let this happen?

  With every minute that went by, and every whiff of Angus’ scent on the breeze, I grew more and more concerned, my stomach twisting up in knots at the thought of what might’ve happened to her.

  As angry as Rosa was at me, I still had a duty to protect her. After hunting around the high street with no success, and making the trip out to the forest to check the cabin, Ryan and I drove back to the manor to see if she’d taken a taxi back there to collect her car, but no luck. We dragged Alex from the studio, and quizzed her and Simon on everything Rosa had said and done that morning.

  Now we were back in the streets looking for her. Alex had a picture of Rosa she’d taken on her phone, and she was showing that to anyone who would stop. I was just coming out of Spellbinding Books after giving the owner an earful about his treatment of her, when I heard someone shouting my name.

  “Caleb!”

  I whirled around. Ryan was running up the alley from Tir Na Nog, his face flushed. “We have a sighting! The bartender in the pub said she came in about two hours ago, ordered a full-English and a bottle of red, and asked him to call her a taxi.” Ryan pulled out a bar napkin. “I’ve got the taxi company number here—”

  “Give me that,” Alex snatched the napkin from his hand and started dialling the number.

  My heart pounded. With her free hand, Alex reached out and squeezed my shoulder. My mind whirled with possibilities. If Rosa got into a taxi two hours ago, she could be anywhere by now …

  “Hi,” Alex said. “I was supposed to meet a friend at the Tir Na Nog, and I’ve just arrived and the bar staff said they called her a cab. She doesn’t have her phone on her and I’m wondering if you could tell me where she is—”

  Alex will sort it out. She got in a taxi. That means she’s still around her someplace. Perhaps she’s gone back to the cabin. They’ll be able to tell us. It’s going to be okay. It’s going to be—