by P. Jameson
Chapter Five
Ryan huddled in his truck trying to get warm so he could eat his sandwich. He had thirty minutes for his lunch break and then it was back to work. His new crew had taken a job in Tunica, working an add-on for the big casino. He’d decided to stay in the hotel there until he had time to go looking for an apartment. Figured he’d burn his nights away playing slots to keep his mind off the Ouachitas.
Reaching into his lunch pail, he pulled out his sandwich and unwrapped it. The first bite tasted like sawdust. The second wasn’t much better. He washed it down with some coke and went back for a third.
Damn, he’d gotten spoiled on Eagan’s food. Bailey’s too. The two of them ran the kitchen at Lake Haven masterfully. When you asked the guy for a sandwich, he didn’t give you that bullshit white bread that comes in near perfect squares. No sir. You got his homemade stuff, sliced thick and piled high with the best toppings. And his sauce… yeah, it wasn’t just a mayo/mustard combo. It was something else, and he wouldn’t release the ingredients to anyone except Bailey.
Ryan polished of the rest of his sub-par lunch and then checked his phone. Eleven missed calls. Eleven?
Quickly, he thumbed through the numbers. Beth, Magic, Renner. And then the number that stopped his breath. Layna’s.
Ryan frowned. She’d called him? Any other time, he might’ve been over the moon, anxious to call her back, even if she was just reminding him about the pair of boots he’d left in the closet of his room.
But eleven missed calls from his family wasn’t because of his boots.
He scrolled on to find several more from Beth and Renner. Something was wrong. His chest tightened and the hairs on the back of his neck stood to attention. A sick feeling settled in the pit of his stomach as he quickly dialed his sister’s number.
She answered before the first ring was over. “Damn it, Ryan. Don’t you ever check your voicemail?” Beth’s voice whipped through the phone, causing chills to lift on his arms.
“I haven’t set it up yet. What’s wrong?”
She drew in a long, shaking breath that he could hear plain as day through the speaker. “It’s Layna. She’s been hurt.”
Like that, all the air left him. His sister’s words were worse than a punch to his soft spot. As if a vacuum had sucked out everything from his life and left only that critical announcement. Layna was hurt. His female was hurt, and where was he? Three fucking hours away.
“What happened?” he rasped, throwing his truck in reverse and spitting gravel as he sped out of the lot. He’d call Trent from the road and explain things.
“Hunter’s they think. Or more specifically, trappers. She caught her tail in a spring trap and did a lot of damage.”
“When?”
“Overnight. We found her early this morning. She’d ripped the anchor loose and dragged the trap with her all the way to our cabin.”
“Shit.” Adrenaline shot to his fingertips. “Is she okay? What’s Doc say?”
There was a pause where Ryan wanted to jump through the phone and get the answers himself.
“Doc wants to give her a tranquilizer to calm her down and help with the pain. She can’t shift, and we were trying to wait for you. You know how Layna hates the drugs. But it’s been hours and she needs to rest and Magic’s furious because you left your mate and Ryan, god, why did you leave her? Why didn’t you tell me she was yours?” His sister’s voice rose higher and higher until it was nothing more than hysterics.
As if to put emphasis on his sister’s panic, a boom of thunder rocked the truck and a breath later, rain beat against the windshield. Speeding to get to the interstate, he tried to understand what Beth was saying, but none of it made sense.
“What are you talking about?”
“You’re her mate,” she squeaked, and it flashed right to his pounding heart. Truth, truth, truth.
“I’m not…” The words stuck in his throat. He wanted to be Layna’s, he did. But…
“Magic says you have a mark.”
“I don’t…” It wasn’t a mating mark. It was just a slip-up from Mason. “That’s not…”
“Ryan, she did a partial shift to tell us. So you’d come help her heal. Look, you’re already in trouble. Magic’s going to have your ass when you get here. And Renner, god. Don’t sit there and deny it.”
“I’m not… not denying it.” Ryan swallowed, his mind racing to catch up to what the others apparently knew. But if it was true, why had Layna kept it from him? Did a future with him really sound so bad that she’d deny her animal’s claim to get out of it? He felt sick deep in his gut. “I didn’t know.”
“How is that even possible?” Beth’s voice hadn’t tamed an inch.
“It’s not like she told me,” he barked back, but she didn’t even seem to hear him.
“Is it because you didn’t want a shifter? Or… or her? You two are friends. Maybe it could’ve been more. You could’ve at least tried, Ry.”
He clenched his jaw to keep from yelling at his sister. She didn’t know how he’d tried. She was worried for Layna. This wasn’t her fault.
He counted to ten before answering. “Beth, listen to me. I didn’t know I was Layna’s mate. If I’d known, I wouldn’t have left. Not until… not unless she wanted me to. I’m on my way, okay. We’ll straighten this out when I get there.”
Her trembling sigh registered through the earpiece. “Hurry. Okay, brother? Just… hurry.”
Ryan hung up the phone and pulled the old one from his pocket, opening the screen to look at Layna’s face again. Shit, she was hurt. No matter what her reason was for keeping the mating thing from him, she needed him now. And he was going to help her. Fuck his ideas about moving on. How could he ever? Knowing he was the one meant for her. He’d known it all along, felt it in his marrow.
Tossing his phone to the seat next to him, he punched the gas pedal. He’d get home in record time, but it still wouldn’t be soon enough if she was in the kind of pain that required a tranquilizer. And shit, when she came out of it, she was going to be pissed.
“Hang on, baby,” he murmured, switching lanes to pass a big rig. “I’m going to make it better.”
***
A little over two hours later, Ryan found himself facing off with an angry panther.
“This beats all. You wispy little asschunk. Leaving your mate like a fucking… fucking… cat. You fucker. I thought you were better than this. I really did. I didn’t want to believe that mark was what it was.” Magic stood in the parking lot of the lodge like he’d been waiting for Ryan to pull up. His hair was a mess he’d probably raked his hands through too many times. He wanted answers Ryan didn’t have and didn’t have time to figure out.
“Back off, Magic. I don’t have time for this. I need to see her.” He tried to push past, but Magic’s heavy palm on his shoulder stopped him solid. The cat squeezed, digging his fingers into Ryan’s healing claw marks. Hissing at the pain, his vision turned red with rage.
The bastard. They were wasting time when he could be with Layna, easing her pain. Enough was enough.
Ryan swung around, bringing his hand up in a fist and connecting with Magic’s jaw in a loud crack. It was the move that snapped his control. All the events of the past, the hurt from Layna pushing him away, his decision to move on, the worry, all of it came barreling down on him until all he could do was keep pounding at Magic’s face like that would somehow release all the pressure.
A warning growl rumbled from the panther’s chest, but Ryan ignored it, seeing nothing but the person keeping him from his female. And he didn’t care that it was his friend or Josie’s mate or the clan’s leader or anything else. He’d get him out of the way and then go to her.
He heard screaming somewhere in the back of his head. Stop. Please. The guests. Ryan… Ry! But it didn’t matter to him. He’d been calm long enough. He’d taken the human approach long enough, and now things were so fucked up and all he wanted was to see his mate and know for himself she’d be ok
ay.
Blood sprayed across the gravel with his next hit and he felt the cool graze of Magic’s claws as they peeked from his fingertips, ready to attack if Ryan didn’t let up. But there was no way in hell that was happening.
Rearing back for another swing, he was stopped short when a pair of steely arms banded around him from behind. He struggled against the hold, watching Magic stumble backward, grappling with his own urge to fight back. Why wasn’t the cat fighting?
Magic spit blood on the ground, looking around at the people who’d gathered. Ryan surged forward again, only to be jerked back like a dog on a leash.
“Stop this right now.” Mason’s harsh breath rushed past Ryan’s ear, his words somehow breaking through the blind fury. His hold tightened around Ryan as he struggled to rein his instinct to fight. “Ryan,” he murmured, his voice taking on that smooth tone he used when he wanted to ease someone into relaxing. He used it with his spa customers all the time, but he’d never used it on Ryan before. “I knew you’d be back, man. Layna’s with Doc in your room. Now why don’t you go to her, and let me clean up this fucking mess you’ve made.”
Ryan’s breath came ragged. Stiff inhales and exhales he couldn’t force to be normal. Anger and panic and fear all bled together into one raging emotion. Instinctually, he knew seeing Layna was the only thing that could help him. He blinked hard, trying to hold it together. Beth was there, and Josie, both of them staring at him like he was a stranger. Several people watched the scene from a distance. Lodge customers. The part of him that struggled to be sane again, hoped he didn’t cost his clan some business. He’d find a way to make it up to them.
His body shook so hard with adrenaline, he wasn’t sure if he’d stay standing if not for Mason.
“My man,” the cat murmured. “You good?”
Ryan nodded although he was nowhere near good.
“Alright, I’ma let you go, and you getcha ass inside. Do not pass ‘go’, do not collect two hundred dollars.”
Ryan shoved out of Mason’s hold, ignoring his sister and the raging shifter he’d attacked. On trembling legs he made for the front door as fast as he could go, tripping over the top stair when he got there. Luckily he caught himself on the log-shaped handle and pushed through into the lobby. The candy cane decorations caught him off guard and made it feel like he’d been gone for more than a week. Clara sat behind the counter Layna usually occupied, looking frazzled and confused. But he couldn’t check on her now. Someone else would have to.
He clipped the corner and stumbled down the employee hall toward his old room. Correction: his room. He was back and he wasn’t going anywhere.
When he reached the door, he paused to draw in a deep breath. He knew he needed to calm down, but waiting even long enough to breathe only left him feeling more anxious.
With a crank of the handle, he eased the door open and the first thing he saw was the back of Doc Davis’ blond head as she leaned over the bed. The shifter female was arguably the most important member of the clan. The entire lodge really. She’d patched up guests and cats alike, and most recently had come through in a big way when Josie transitioned from human to werecat. He had complete faith in her abilities to care for Layna.
Her head whipped around, sending tendrils of hair that had come loose from her bun into a frenzy. “Oh, good. You’re here,” she said, sounding relieved. But then she frowned, staring at him in the way one does when they’re assessing a threat. “Are you okay, Ryan?” She stepped toward him, hands outstretched as if she might need to support his weight. He tried to look around her to his female, but Doc’s face took up all his narrowing vision. “It’s shock,” she said calmly. “You just need to breathe. You’re in shock.”
“Please,” he rasped, trying his damndest not to throw her out of the way. “Just let me see her.”
Doc seemed to get the urgency, and quickly stepped aside.
The breath in his chest stalled when he spotted the cougar lying limp on his sheets. He couldn’t feel his feet as he made his way forward.
“She’s sedated,” Doc murmured. “It’ll be a few hours before she can wake, and even then, shifting will depend on how much she’s able to heal before then.”
“It’s fine. She’s fine like this.”
Quickly, Ryan kicked off his work boots and shrugged off his hoodie. Careful not to jostle her too much, he knelt on the edge of the mattress and crawled to her body, his open hand leading the way. He touched her face first and it was like a jolt of valium. The clench of his muscles around his bones eased a fraction, and he was able to breathe freer.
Gently, he ran his hands all over her body, happy that she felt warm even if she was still as the dead. The fur on her feet and legs was matted with blood and mud, but he didn’t care. He just wanted to touch her, and hopefully start the healing process.
“We brought her here because Owyn thought it might help if we put her where she could smell your scent.”
Ryan squeezed his eyes closed. Would that help? What if she didn’t want to be here, close to him like this?
He stared at her face, her long cat eyelashes resting against the fur of her cheeks, and a spark of anger lit in his chest.
What she wanted didn’t matter right now. She needed him to heal, and he wasn’t leaving her alone until she was strong enough to push him away again.
Maybe not even then.
“Can I lift her? Is it safe? I’d like to hold her.”
Doc nodded. “I think it would be fine. Her tail is cut in two places, so be mindful of that. I had to stitch both spots. Here and here.” She pointed, but he couldn’t see the wounds through the thick wad of bandages. “She’ll have a bit of permanent damage from this,” she said softly.
Ryan continued to pet his female, stroking from her head between her ears, across her shoulders to the base of her fractured tail.
“How bad?”
“I’m not sure. Could be something as simple as a crooked tail, some chronic lower back pain in her human form.”
“Or?”
“Or she might have to relearn the use of her tail. There’s no way to tell yet.”
Ryan knew how crucial a cat’s tail was. It wasn’t just a fancy appendage to make them look more regal. The tail helped them balance. It helped them keep direction when they ran. They used it when fighting, playing, and as an indication of feeling. In human terms, it would be akin to losing a big toe or a thumb.
“The trap created a U-like injury where it clamped down, the two lines of the U forming two separate wounds on her tail.” Doc used her fingers to explain. “The upper one, luckily, only separated the cartilage. Painful, but easy to sew back together. It should heal okay barring any nerve damage. The lower one however, fractured a vertebrae. There’s nothing to do for that except let it mend and hope for the best.”
Shit.
“But the mating bond. It can fix this right? I can fix this.”
Doc gave him a sad curve of her lips. “I’m a straight-shooter, Ryan. I won’t give you false hope. A lot of time has been lost here. More than twelve hours. And… if what Beth told me is right, you didn’t even know Layna was your mate. That means the bond is weak. A weak bond has less power.”
She was saying it carefully, but he caught her drift. If he’d been here, instead of off in Memphis, the chance of Layna healing would be better.
“This is my fault,” he whispered.
“How can it be? You didn’t know she was yours.”
Ryan shook his head. “I knew she was mine. I didn’t know I was hers.”
Doc frowned. “Isn’t it the same?”
“No. From the moment I first saw Layna, I was drawn to her. She was the flame and I was the moth. But the feelings weren’t mutual. She has nothing for me, and I was the star burning up as I fell through her atmosphere. So I left, hoping we could both be happy that way.” He dragged his fingers through Layna’s fur, avoiding Doc’s gaze. “I should have stayed. I should have been like a cat, and forced my way
into her heart. Or at the very least, kept watch over her. Why didn’t I do that?”
“Because you’re human.”
“No need to remind me of my faults.”
Doc shook her head. “It’s not a fault. You’re human. You’re the best part of us. The part that tempers the animal. If it weren’t for our human side, we’d be feral. Humans aren’t lower than shifters. In fact… I’d give anything to not be torn between the animal in me and the person. To be of one kind instead of two…” She stopped, clamping her mouth shut.
“Layna isn’t of the same opinion.”
“You sure about that?”
Ryan frowned, replaying their exchanges under a different filter.
“Perhaps her denials were for a different reason altogether. Now is your chance to find out. But Ryan, a bit of advice?”
He nodded for her to continue, words getting strangled in his throat.
“Layna is strong and independent and fiercely loyal to the clan. Only she knows her reasons for hiding this bond. But she’s a female cougar. It’s who she is, just like being human is for you. The cat is as much a part of her as the woman. You have to treat her animal like an animal or it won’t recognize your intentions.” She raised an eyebrow. “Get my drift?”
Ryan nodded, staring down at his mate. The female cats were used to pushy males and relationships based on primal need. Love had little to do with it.
If he had to hide away his feelings for her in order to grow their bond, he’d do it. If he had to pretend he only wanted her body, he would. Whatever it took for the cat to know he meant business. He’d take care of her. Heal her. And if it shredded his heart, then so be it.
Doc moved to the door as Ryan pulled Layna into his lap, cradling her gently in his arms. He kissed her head between her pointy ears, nuzzling her thick fur.
“Ryan,” Doc added.
“Hmm?”
“I’m glad you’re back.”
Chapter Six
