The Return (The Edge of Forever Book 3)

by D. C. Gambel

  “Then say it.” My words came out more hostile then I meant.

  Sebastian let out a long sigh, “I love you, Gaby, and I want you to choose me.”

  “Sebastian…” I started.

  “Please, hear me out. I can forgive you for sleeping with him and staying with him while he got resettled, but I want you to come back to me, be with me, stay with me.”

  The silence between us spoke volumes as he waited for my answer and I searched for the words to say, to explain. Finally in a hushed tone I whispered, “I can’t.”

  “Can’t or won’t?”

  “Both. Grayson’s it for me. I didn’t sleep with you because something was always holding me back. Now I know why. It’s because, somehow, I knew he was alive. He too is a forgiving person and has forgiven me for my indiscretions with you.”

  “You told him?”

  “Did you think I wouldn’t? I love him. I don’t want to keep secrets from him.”

  “And what about him?”

  “What do you mean?” I asked.

  “Is he as honest with you or has he been keeping secrets?”

  “Sebastian!” A deep voice bellowed. We both turned as we saw Damien with his arms crossed over his chest. “It is not your place.” I looked over his shoulder and saw Grayson coming up behind him.

  “Gaby?” Grayson held his hand out to me. It was a silent gesture that spoke volumes. I didn’t know if it was because of Sebastian proximity, but it felt like there was something more. I looked briefly back at Sebastian then stepped around him and took Grayson’s hand. Not another word was spoken as we made our way from the building. Once we were settled into the car, Grayson spoke. “You’re not going to ask?”

  I wanted to, but I wanted him to tell me without me prying. “No.”

  “You aren’t curious?”

  I shifted in my seat and faced him. “Of course I’m curious. I didn’t think there was anything to hide.”

  He let out a long sigh. “I didn’t want you to see me differently.”

  I bit my tongue to hold back the words that wanted to slip out of my mouth. What happened while he was gone? What could make me see him differently? “I don’t think that’s possible.”

  “That’s because you don’t know.”

  “Then tell me. I’m sure the reality is not nearly as bad as the scenario that I could imagine in my head.”

  “I’m not sure about that,” he mumbled. I waited for what seemed like forever, waiting for him to speak. I didn’t want to press, but my mind was beginning to run wild. I placed my hand on top of his and gave a gentle squeeze. Grayson sighed and made eye contact with me for the first time since he saw Sebastian speaking to me. “The night I was rescued there was an incident.”

  “An incident?”

  “I was delusional and…thirsty…” I inhaled sharply. I didn’t want to imagine him suffering. Every time I thought about Grayson’s time away, I immediate felt guilty. I didn’t look for him even though I believed he wasn’t dead. I had never felt our mating bond severed, but I listened to everyone else instead of my gut. “I attacked one of Damien’s men. I thought he was there to hurt me.” I knew there was more so I sat silent. “I…I killed him.” I watched as Grayson’s graze dropped and shame fill his face. I couldn’t bear seeing him like that. I crawled over the console and into his lap, wrapping my arms around him.

  “Shh… It’s okay,” I whispered against his neck while running my fingers through his hair.

  “How can you say that? I killed someone. I’m a murderer.”

  “Grayson,” I lifted his head trying to meet his eyes. “How could you bear to touch me or even look at me after your transition?”

  He groaned, “We’ve been over this Gaby. I don’t blame you.”

  “I’m not talking about that. You’re blood wasn’t the only one I had to wash off my hands that night.”

  “Are you talking about Anton?” I nodded. “That’s different.”

  “How so?”

  “He deserved it.”

  “Did he?” He looked at me befuddled. “You think that, but does that make it true? Ava didn’t see it that way. My point, you’re not the only one with blood on your hands and if anything, you’re less guilty than I am.”

  “How?”

  “Because I consciously took a life. I had other choices, but I didn’t want him to live, so I killed him. You didn’t make the choice. The animals that kidnapped you… they’re to blame. They chose to kidnap you. They chose to not feed you properly. If you want to blame someone, blame them. This guilt you’re carrying, it isn’t yours.”

  “But I did it.”

  I shook my head, “You were the puppet. They were the puppeteers.”

  “Do you think differently of me?”

  “Did you see me differently after I killed Anton?”

  “Yes.” I leaned away from him like he’d hit me. That wasn’t the answer I’d expected. I had never thought to ask. Grayson’s hand cupped my face. “I saw you stronger and braver than I had before.”

  “I see you braver now too. I also see you as a survivor. It’s all over your body in every mark and every scar.”

  “I love you, Gaby.”

  “I love you more.”

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  Early the next morning, there came a gentle knock at the door. I wasn’t use to people knocking. Most people called first. If someone was knocking and my phone hadn’t jingled, then I probably didn’t want to answer. It could be someone who’d gotten in the building and was going door to door to sell something. By the third knock I felt that no salesman would be that persistent. Let’s face it; if you don’t answer and they keep knocking, they’re liable to get their teeth knocked in or at the very least cussed out.

  I threw on a t-shirt and wrapped myself in my robe before padding across the apartment to answer the door. When I opened it, I was hit with the biggest surprise. There stood Mr. and Mrs. Alexander both looking as calm as ever.

  “You forgot, didn’t you?” Mrs. Alexander asked. I looked at her bemused. “I told you, she’d forget.” She spoke to her husband.

  “The gala, dear?” Mr. Alexander spoke to me. I stood there staring blankly, wondering why they hadn’t bulldozed their way in.

  “You must still be tired. It is early.”

  I opened my mouth but no words came.

  “Gaby? Who is it…?” Grayson’s words trailed off as he padded into the room sleepily rubbing the back of his head.

  I watched as his parent’s faces, in unison, turned from bemused to stunned. His mother walked past me in a slow trance. She stopped just in front of Grayson. He gave her an apologetic grin. She carefully raised her hand to touch his face; almost as if she was afraid he’d vanish. When her fingers grazed his morning stubble, she lost control of the facade she’d been struggling to hold back. She cried and her son held her.

  Through her sobs, I heard her mumble, “Where have you been? When did you get back? Are you alright?”

  I blinked mystified when I saw Mr. Alexander standing before them. He had somehow slipped past me without my notice. I saw the two men make eye contact as Grayson evaded his mother’s questions. “I called you last night after the police left. You didn’t answer, so I left a message.”

  “The damn phone’s been on the fritz,” his father explained.

  “We’re replacing it as soon as we get home. I can’t believe I missed your call.” His mother pulled back and gave his father a chance to hug their son. The men’s embrace wasn’t nearly as long as the one between mother and son had been. They hugged in a uniquely manly one arm, pat on the shoulder.

  “Perhaps we should cancel?” His mother suggested.

  “Why?” Grayson asked, hearing about the gala that he’d be receiving the humanitarian award for.

  “Because you just got home. They’d understand if you weren’t ready for a big outing and of course your family wouldn’t leave you alone after such an ordeal.”

  “I think this is
a perfect opportunity to let the world know that you’re alive and nothing is more important to you than…” I offered. I had kept mostly silent since the arrival of the Alexanders. I had had my time with Grayson to adjust and realize that he was actually safe and I knew that his parents needed that too.

  Grayson smiled at me. “I think you’re right.”

  That’s how I found myself in a familiar situation. I was dressed like a movie star for the red carpet in a silver gown with an open back and a slit up to my thigh with silver stilettos that were so high that I felt like a ballerina trying to walk in them on the tips of my toes. My dress just barely grazed the floor in them. Grayson and I sat in a limousine while his parents followed in the car behind us. The only thing that was off about the evening was the lack of Grayson’s driver, John. I hadn’t needed him while Grayson was missing, so I had let him go. Not in the fired sense. Grayson’s accounts still paid him, but recalling staff hadn’t been priority.

  “Nervous?” I whispered rubbing my thumb over Grayson’s hand. He was gripping it so tight.

  His lips were tight as he forced a smile. “Not in the way you might think.”

  “If you’re not ready…” I began, but was cut off.

  “I’m not sure if I’ll ever be ready. I’m just trying to get back on the horse or whatever it is that they say.”

  “They,” I squeezed his hand tight enough to get his attention, “can fuck off. Who cares what they say or think for that matter? You do what feels right to you.”

  His smiled turned genuine. “I love you.”

  “I love you too.” I leaned in to place a soft kiss on his cheek. “So are we turning around?”

  There was a pregnant pause then Grayson shook his head. “No. I can do this and more importantly, I want to get it over with. As long as I have you next to me then this will be a walk in the park.”

  A short time later the car pulled up into a line with other cars. A man in a generic looking black tuxedo approached the car. We were given simple instructions. Grayson waved him off as the man continued to babble. This wasn’t his first rodeo. We were pulling to the front when I suddenly became nervous. While Grayson was gone, my face had continued to be blasted on newspapers and magazines. This was my first public event since all that. I was worried that my being here might embarrass Grayson. There was a strong possibility that the subject of Sebastian would be mentioned, if for any reason just to see us react, but Grayson needed me tonight, so as the car door was opened by a man dressed in the same tuxedo as the direction man, I gritted my teeth and plastered a smile on my face.

  Grayson stepped out first. There was a brief pause before the flashing of the cameras began and the battering of questions commenced. They were about his kidnapping. How he had been treated, if he felt like he was going to die; basically anything that would be inappropriate to ask. As I stepped out, the questions quickly turned to our relationship. Most were aimed at us as a couple, but there were some individual ones that made my blood run cold. Was I back with Grayson for his money? Had he forgiven me for my affair? Was he aware of the rumors about me and the many men I had been with in his absence? I could see Grayson’s facade fading. Griping his arm tightly, I tugged him down the carpet.

  Inside, Grayson’s gray eyes pierced me. I opened my mouth to say something, but before I could, he excused himself to get a drink. After a few minutes, I joined him.

  “I’m sorry.”

  He seemed calmer now. He let out a breath and a small smile tugged on his lips. “I’m not angry with you.”

  “Really?” I said in disbelief.

  “Really. I hadn’t prepared myself for that.”

  “The questions?”

  “About you …”

  “Grayson, I told you nothing…”

  “Nothing happened. I know. It’s just, we start to move forward and then that,” he gestured to the paparazzi outside.

  “I know. I wish I could take it back. You have no idea how much. If I had known…” I left my words hanging. This was the same conversation we’d had before. If I had known Grayson was alive, but I hadn’t truly known and I had been trying to move on with my life.

  “Mr. Alexander?” A short plump woman with messy curls stood over Grayson’s shoulder.

  “Yes?” he turned to her.

  “I’m sorry to intrude, but I’m Cassidy Franklin,” she paused as if allowing us to figure out who she was. “I’m the producer on Wakeup USA,” she handed him a business card that she carried in a small clutch that looked barely big enough for phone.

  “Of course,” Grayson said like he knew exactly who she was, when we all knew, Cassidy included, that he still had no idea.

  “I’m sure you’re aware of this, Mr. Alexander, but your return is worldwide news and we at Wakeup USA would love to get your story.”

  “I don’t know…” he began.

  “That sounds amazing,” I blurted.

  “It does?” Grayson asked me with a quizzical look.

  “This could be a great opportunity for you. People are going to continue harassing you until someone gets the scoop.” I looked over at Cassidy expecting her to be offended, but she surprised me by agreeing with me.

  “She’s right and who better to get the story than a nationally recognized program, based here in New York. You’d be able to control the interview. We’d only ask a list of preapproved questions.”

  “Preapproved? By who?”

  “By you of course, Mr. Alexander. You’d be able to spin the story in the way you want, but I must tell you that if the audience doesn’t find it truthful then the harassing will only get worse.”

  I could see him working over the idea. He glanced at me and I gave him an encouraging smile.

  Cassidy could see she had won.

  We settled in at our table with Grayson’s parents as the master of ceremonies rambled on stage about the prestige of the organization.

  “And now I’d like to introduce Gabriella Carmichael to present the next award.”

  Grayson looked at me bemused. I wasn’t fond of public speaking. In fact, it terrified me a bit, but this was for him.

  “Thank you, Mr. Johansen.” I took the spot he had vacated. “When I was asked to present the next award, I wasn’t exactly shouting from the rooftops with the joy I was feeling. I honestly didn’t know if I could. I didn’t know if the man I was presenting it to would even be here tonight. He’d been missing for some time.” My eyes drifted to Grayson. “And I really didn’t want to have a break down in front of everyone.” I could feel the tears building in my eyes. “The good news is,” my voice cracked, “that he is here tonight and I couldn’t be happier to be presenting the humanitarian award to the love of my life, Mr. Grayson Alexander.”

  I watched Grayson smile at me. He stood casually buttoning his jacket. He made his way onto stage and kissed me. It appeared to be gentle, but I could feel all the passion igniting between us. When we parted I made my way back to my seat. Grayson’s mother handed me a handkerchief and I quickly blotted away the tears.

  “Thank you,” Grayson said as the applauses settled. “Being a part of this foundation was never about the awards. It was about the reward you get from helping a fellow human being and I’m grateful that I’m in a position that allows me to support the foundation in the way that I have.” His eyes drifted to me. “It’s true that for that past two months I’ve…been away, but I’m glad to see that the work I started for the ACF didn't stop in my absence.” He stood there for a moment silently glancing around. I could hear whispers begin. Grayson seemed to be struggling with what to say. After a few more seconds, he smiled. “Thank you.” He made his way back to our table and placed his award down in his spot just as the music started. I could see there was something that was weighing on him, but I didn’t presume to know what. My eyes darted over to his parents whose eyes moved back and forth between each other and Grayson. They could see it too. “Dance with me,” he held his hand out to me. With no deliberation I took
it.

  He pulled me close leaving not even a whisper of space between us. His hand was tight on my waist pressing me to him. He rested his forehead against mine as we swayed with the music. I could hear whispers from people as we moved across the floor. Some were gossip the news papers had printed, others were about how intimate we looked, too intimate for public I even heard one lady proclaim, but as other’s began to join us on the floor, the whispers died down or I heard less of them choosing to focus on the man in front of me.

  “We can go if you want? You’ve received your award, there’s nothing really left,” I suggested.

  “Yes there is.”

  “What’s that?” I was curious.

  “I’m doing it.”

  I smiled then tilted my head up to press my lips to his.

  “Grayson?” the voice interpreted just before I closed the final distance. We both turned to see Chloe standing there in a bright red gown that had a deep V neckline. Her blonde hair was done in large curls with her lipstick in the same red shade as her dress. Grayson straightened himself as he looked at Chloe. He didn’t utter a word as he stared at her. “I just wanted to say that I’m glad you’re back.”

  “Are you?” His voice held a smidge of sarcasm. I hadn’t told Grayson about my run in with Chloe at his office, so I wasn’t sure where his hostility was coming from.

  “Of course I am,” She held her hand to her chest looking wounded. She even briefly looked at me for help, but I didn’t know what was going on and I wasn’t sure I’d help her even if I had.

  “You see, I find that a little hard to believe, because if I’m back, then you lose your spot as CEO.” My eyes widened. I hadn’t known that Chloe was the one filling in for Grayson.

  “I was only trying to help, until you returned.”

  “Which is why you went to the board the moment you heard I was back asking that I be evaluated before I’d be allowed to return to my company?” Her eyes widened. She seemed utterly shocked that he knew of her plot. “As I said, it’s my company. The board isn’t going to press for an evaluation, but I will provide them with one anyways so there will be no conflict of interest later.” He turned back to me as if to proceed with our dance, but before his forehead pressed against mine he turned back to her. “Oh, and I suggest you mind your tongue when speaking about my relationships. You should know that words spoken in that building have a way of finding their way to me.” Her face paled instantly. She stood there for a moment then spun on her heels without a reply.