“There was no closure between us when we broke up,” Kara said. “We were happy, and then one day he just…changed.”
When Kara didn’t continue, I glanced at her. Tears were flowing down her cheeks, but she wasn’t blinking. I wondered if she was even aware she was crying.
“Kar?”
“I gave so much to that boy. I can’t possibly give anything anymore. That’s what I thought before he brought me back to his place, you know? That I was done. There was nothing more I could give before I went mental,” she sobbed, taking a long drink from her beer.
“But when I was there, I realized that I could still give him more of me. If that’s what he needed to come back to me. I’m such a pathetic loser.”
“No, Kar,” I said.
She shook her head. “I just need you to listen for now, okay?” she said, looking at me and Beth.
Beth and I nodded, helpless.
“Today at basketball practice, I knew he was going to be there. I knew it, but I still went because…because I’m a hypocrite. I say I don’t want to see him, but I’m lying. Because I still…I still love him. I know he still loves me, and I don’t understand what’s stopping him from being with me. I feel like he’s putting a barrier between us, and I can’t fucking climb over it.”
I understood what she was saying. I had placed barriers between me and Caleb, but I was scared he was finding ways to climb over them. I shook my head. Why was I thinking of Caleb? This was Kar’s night.
“You know there are different kinds of kisses from Cameron.” She sighed deeply. “His public kisses are just small nips here and there. There are the possessive kisses where he uses a little tongue. And then there’s the kiss where you know he won’t stop until you get what you both want, you know? And that’s normally when we end up in bed. All those times when he gave me the kiss, never once did he not make love to me. Never. But tonight, he stopped.” She started crying again. “He stopped, Ver, and I don’t fucking know why.” She was sobbing uncontrollably now, gut-wrenching cries that tore my heart.
Beth sat up, sensing that Kara needed me. She gave me space and slid off the car hood so I could scoot over and gather Kar in my arms. She curled herself to me, seeking comfort. Beth rubbed her back.
I had never seen Kara Hawthorne break down like this. She appeared so strong that I hadn’t even thought it possible.
“We don’t need to confess if we murder someone, you know,” Beth said. “I know a lot of good places to hide a dead body. Just saying.”
Kara looked at Beth like she’d sprouted another head, and then we all burst out laughing.
Kara rubbed her cheeks with her hands. “Dammit, I’m pathetic, aren’t I?”
I nodded. “Yes, you are.”
“Jeez—”
I held up a hand to stop her. “Listen. Do you want to know what I think or not?”
She stopped and turned to me. “Of course I do. Hit me.”
“Making someone the center of your universe is not healthy, and I think you’ve done that with Cameron. You’ve lost your friends because you’d rather be with him, and you’ve lost the old you, right?” I gave her a sympathetic look. I knew this because I’d watched it happen with my mom.
“You know when people say ‘You complete me’?” I continued. “I don’t believe in that. How do you complete someone when you’ve lost yourself in loving them? How do you find yourself? You have to learn to be strong without him, so when one of you is weak, you’re not stuck in the same hole of weakness together. That’s what will destroy you. You can’t be weak together.”
I glanced at Kara. Her eyes were closed, and tears ran down her cheeks. I reached for her hand, lending her comfort and strength from my touch.
“Wallowing in the past is not healthy,” I said. “If you were so great together, why aren’t you together now? Maybe you’ll be back together in the future, maybe you won’t. People tend to only remember the good memories, but that’s not right. You have to remember the bad memories too.”
After a few moments, Kara threw herself at me, her arms in a tight bear hug. “I love you, Ver. Thank you.”
“Ah! I love you too, Ver.” Beth threw herself at us. “You’re like the female version of Dr. Phil.”
“Group hug,” Kara mumbled on my shoulder.
“Is your drama having a commercial soon? I need to pee,” Beth moaned.
Right on cue, Theo showed up in a Toyota, waving at us.
“Here comes mine,” Beth whispered.
Chapter Seventeen
Veronica
After Theo boosted his car, Beth told him to go back to the party without us. It took a bit of convincing for Theo to leave since he wanted to make sure we got home safe. That guy was fiercely sweet and thoughtful. No wonder Beth was in love with him.
Since Kara and Beth were both drunk, I was the designated driver.
“Where do you guys want to go?” I asked, putting on my seat belt.
Kara was almost passed out in the backseat, her head drooping to her chest. I had made sure she had her seat belt on.
“Should we just go back to Kar’s?” I prompted.
Beth was busy scavenging for something in the glove box. “Aha! I knew it was here somewhere,” she crowed in victory, holding a small tube in her hand.
“What? What is that?”
“Superglue!” she squealed excitedly.
“Uh-huh. You’re definitely drunk, aren’t you? I should take you guys home.”
“No! Ver, believe me when I tell you this is definitely not drunk. If I were, you wouldn’t have to ask me.”
“Okay.”
“Now, where does that Cameron live?”
“Why?” I narrowed my eyes in suspicion. I could see the wheels turning in her scheming mind.
“Because we are going to give Kar here a little revenge.”
Kara piped in, “Revenge?” She sounded sleepy but interested.
“I have this magical glue, and we just need to put this in the keyhole of your ex’s front door. He won’t be able to get in unless he kicks the door down or changes the locks.”
“Oh shit, yes!” Kara shouted. “Yes, please! Let’s do it!”
“Kara—”
“Ver, please? I really need this.”
I sighed. These two were going to get in a lot of trouble if left unattended. I was about to refuse when an image of Kara crying appeared in my mind. “Fine.”
They cheered happily, clapping and bouncing in their seats like little girls.
“I’ll tell you where to go. Now drive, baby, drive!” Kara cheered.
It was past midnight, and the streets were uncannily quiet. The streetlights cast an eerie glow on the road where the trees stood like sentries. The windows of the car were rolled down, and the air caressed my face and hair like a lover’s touch. I shivered. It was getting chilly, and I needed to pee.
“Don’t park in front of his house, okay?” Beth whispered eagerly.
I parked five houses down from Cameron’s house. Were we really doing this?
“We could get arrested for this,” I warned.
“It would be worth it!” Kara snapped off her seat belt and scooted forward, lodging herself between the front seats.
“Why don’t you look for dog shit and put that in his mailbox too?” I suggested sarcastically.
“Shit, Ver,” Kara exclaimed. “I always knew you were a smart cookie.”
“Oh God,” I groaned. I didn’t think she would take me seriously. I should have known better.
“Damn right,” Beth agreed, patting my shoulder. “That was a Shakespeare moment right there. Wait, no. I meant Einstein. Einstein moment. Genius, Ver. You are now officially a goddess in my two fucked-up eyes.”
I laughed. We all got out of the car and linked arms as we walked, both girls f
lanking me since I was the sober, steady one.
“You lookin’ for dog shit there, Beth?” Kara asked. “Keep your fucked-up eyes open.”
“My fucked-up eyes can’t get wider than this, baby. I am looking for shit. My eyes are a shit telescope. I can spot shit a mile away.”
We were giggling, the sound ringing harshly in the quiet. Suddenly, Kara wrenched her arm away. She was half walking, half running like a penguin, her legs comically squeezed together. She crouched between two cars, spreading her skirt. And then…
“Kar! Are you taking a piss on the road?” Beth asked right before she started laughing maniacally. “She’s pissing on the road!” She guffawed, pointing at still-crouching Kara.
“Hey, guys, do you have any toilet paper with you?” Kara grinned like a lunatic.
We were making such a ruckus that it took a minute for me to realize something was wrong. Something didn’t sound nice. The hair on the back of my neck pricked up as I slowly, painfully turned around.
Oh, my freaking corpse in a casket, there was an angry dog a few feet away, growling and glaring at us like we were his next meal.
“Ah, guys,” I whispered quietly, shaking in my shoes.
“I see it,” Beth hissed. “You guys climb on top of the cars. That fucker can’t climb.”
“Kara, get the hell up!” I hissed as I slowly followed Beth and jumped on top of a car.
Kara was still squatting, now frozen in fear.
“Kar, wake the fuck up and climb on the car!” I yelled loudly now, unable to keep myself from cursing.
But she wasn’t listening. I screamed in horror as she jumped up and ran up the street. The huge dog sped past us, barking and growling like a sinister monster from hell after Kara’s feet or legs or hands…or soul.
I jumped off the car and ran as fast as I could to stop the canine from eating Kara. How the hell I was going to do that, I had no clue. I looked around, searching for a weapon, and spotted an orange toy truck on someone’s front lawn. I made a run for it, grabbed it, and ran as fast as I could to catch up to them. My heart lodged in my throat when I saw Kara jump over a fence, her foot getting caught between the slats. She landed face-first on the grass on the other side of the fence.
“Kar!” I shouted.
The dog kept barking and growling for a few moments before it finally gave up and ran away. My knees felt like overcooked noodles, and I fell to the ground. I heard Kara let out a whoop, still facedown in the grass. When I spotted the orange toy truck in my hand, I started laughing like a lunatic.
“Let’s go get hammered tonight, bitches!” Beth yelled behind me.
Kara sat up, her hair sticking to her face, her shoulders shaking with laughter.
I laughed harder.
* * *
Caleb
“You look like shit.”
“I feel like shit,” Cameron replied, collapsing on the couch.
He looked gaunt, like he hadn’t eaten in a week. His clothes were rumpled, his hair a mess, his eyes red. Cameron had phoned me half an hour ago, sounding panicked—and in pain. At first I thought someone had died because he kept saying, “She’s gone. Fucking gone.”
It took me a minute to realize he was talking about Kara. He ended the conversation with “I’m coming over. I need to get the hell away from this place.”
So I told Red what was up, and she raced out the door to comfort her BFF. Not that I was jealous. I wasn’t.
Maybe a little.
I just…wanted to spend more time with her. But Cameron needed me, and Kara needed Red. And of course, as always, she had refused my offer to give her a ride.
“She did that to you?” I pointed at my cheek. His was starting to swell.
He cupped his jaw, wincing. “Yeah, damn near fainted.”
I wasn’t sure if he was joking or not. I grabbed an ice pack from the freezer and tossed it to him. “She’s got a mean right hook.”
He caught it easily, then lay down on the couch while he placed it on his cheek. “I should know. I taught her how.”
“Sorry, man. Want to talk about it?” I asked as I took a seat across from him.
“No. Just need a place to crash. Everything in my apartment reminds me of her. She’s everywhere.”
Damn tight-lipped son of a gun. He would feel better if he’d just open up. I worried about him. My mother had told me what happened with his family, but Cameron never talked about it. I would probably be hurt if I didn’t know that he never shared anything about himself with anyone. He was a very private person.
“You know I don’t need to tell you that if-you-need-anything-I’m-here crap, right?”
He placed his arm on his forehead, covering his eyes. “Thanks, man.”
If he’d come here to be left alone, he should have gone somewhere else, because I wasn’t going to give up that easily. “Want some beer?”
“Yeah.”
So we drank beer, exchanged insults like we usually did, ate the chicken potpie Red had made for dinner, drank more beer, and finally passed out on the couch. I woke up in the middle of the night searching for my phone. When I finally found it stuffed between the cushions, I grabbed it and pushed the Home button.
Blinded by my phone screen’s harsh light, I groaned. It took a second before I could focus and then—“Dammit!”—it slipped from my hand, fell on my face, and slid to the floor.
Annoyed, I sat up and fished my phone from the floor. I had a lot of messages and missed calls. All from girls that I’d probably dated, but none from the girl I wanted.
Red had a pay-as-you-go phone, and I knew she’d only use it in a life-or-death situation. She was worried about charges so I’d tried to give her my spare phone, but with her muleheaded I-might-be-poor-but-I’m-not-a-gold-digger-so-I’m-just-going-to-despise-everything-you-give-me attitude, she’d thrown it back in my face.
Restless, I went to the kitchen to grab a glass of orange juice, but I remembered Red had been there a couple hours ago. I was getting irritated with myself for constantly thinking about her, and I just wanted to forget her for a minute. I went back to the living room where Cameron was thankfully passed out, sat on the couch, and checked my phone again. Still nothing.
I was obsessed. When was the last time I checked my phone for a call or text from a girl? Ah, yeah, that would be never.
I didn’t know why I bothered comparing my experiences with other girls. So far nothing with Red had been predictable.
I felt like old, forgotten clothing, and all I wanted was to be her favorite shirt again.
I was walking around the house like a ghost, checking my phone for the hundredth time, when I passed her room. I stared at the door, willing it to open by itself. I stared at that doorknob like a scientist looking through a microscope. I knew this was bordering on creepy, but I never said I wasn’t creepy. I reached for the doorknob, paused to take another breath, and opened the door a crack.
A whiff of her scent sneaked out, filling my nostrils.
Strawberries.
I closed my eyes and inhaled.
Creep.
This was invasion of privacy. This was so wrong. But I was only going to take a peek, maybe hang for a few minutes. It wasn’t like I was going to go through her things…no. That was psycho. I only wanted to feel close to her by being here. I opened the door another inch.
“What are you doing?”
I jumped a foot, and an unholy girlie squeal came out of my mouth that I knew I would be ashamed of for the rest of my life. If Cameron told anyone about it, I would never admit to it.
I slammed the door shut, and when I’d sort of regained my composure, I said, “You scared the shit out of me.”
“Well, you’ve been standing there for at least five minutes. I just took a piss, and you’re still here.”
“Well…” I tra
iled off.
Cameron shrugged and went back to the couch to sleep. I let out a sigh of relief. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to tell him Red was living with me, but I didn’t want him to know I was sneaking into her room. I didn’t think he was in a state to discuss anything besides beer and basketball right now anyway. I looked at Red’s door again.
Screw it. I opened it and stepped in.
Red all around. Her scent, her things, her presence was so strong that I felt dizzy.
Damn, did I have it bad.
I could tell she had settled in. A blanket with vibrant colors covered the bed. A brush lay on the dresser, a water bottle sat on the study desk, and her books were neatly stacked on the set of drawers beside the bed… The top drawer! Shit. I just remembered I had stacked condoms in there. A lot of condoms. I groaned in distress.
Did she think I was a man whore now? She probably thought I slept around a lot, and she would be right. But I hadn’t slept with anyone since I met her, and that was a feat.
I had been having sex since I hit puberty. But Red made me want to wait. I didn’t want easy anymore. I didn’t want meaningless. I wanted Red.
I sat on her bed and opened the drawer. The condoms were gone. Where had she put them? I decided to ask the next time I saw her. She would probably blush. She didn’t turn pink. She turned red. It would start on her neck, and I could see it creeping up her face and ears until she looked like a ripe tomato. It was so cute. I closed the drawer and threw myself on the bed.
Surrounded—that was how I felt. Surrounded by her. My last thought before I fell asleep was that I was now officially a creep.
The next thing I knew, I was waking up with my phone ringing beside me. I hit Answer and grunted in greeting.
“Hey.”
My eyes popped open. “Red?”
“Yeah.” Her voice was low and breathy and flirty, and it caught my full attention. She sounded very much like the first time I met her at the club. When my thoughts cleared, I realized she was probably drunk.
“Where are you?” I sat up and turned on the lamp. The clock indicated it was three in the morning. I raked my fingers through my hair, wondering if she was in trouble.
Chasing Red Series, Book 1 Page 13
