Love In Rewind

by Tali Alexander

  "Em, you don't know what you just heard. Let me in. I want to explain. It's not what you think. Fuck … baby please, I can explain."

  His voice was angry but I could tell he was scared. Good, he should be scared.

  "Louis, fuck off! Leave me alone. I don't want your stupid explanations. I don't need a husband who keeps dirty secrets from his wife."

  "Open the door, Em or I'll break it down. You have less than a minute to make up your mind; either way I'm coming in."

  I wanted to avoid an ugly scene, knowing that both Sara and Eddie were still downstairs blissfully clueless to what was happening in my broken paradise. I'd just finished convincing them a few weeks ago that Louis wasn't a Neanderthal and now here he was breaking down doors to get to me. I got up off the floor and unlocked the door.

  "Door is open; no need to be violent. I don't want to hear your stupid stories … I want to go home."

  He walked into the room and locked the door. He thought he could keep me confined to one place. He was always afraid I'd run.

  "Isabella is an old friend. She was in love with me … still is. I never loved her … I … I just kept her around because it was convenient. You have to understand, she came from money so I didn't think she was using me financially like a lot of other women." He looked down at his feet, choosing his words carefully before going on. "Her family kept trying to bribe me into marrying her. Her parents are very wealthy. They own hotels and resorts all over the world. I had no interest in her other than being her friend."

  I didn't stop him so he kept talking. "Isabella was fun to be around at first but she started to cause trouble. I once found her in my apartment snorting cocaine with men she picked up in some bar. She always tried to get a reaction out of me. Emily, you have to believe me. I want nothing to do with her, but she won't leave me alone. Her father even tried to invest in my company with the hopes of entwining our interests. I refuse to have any dealings with anyone related to her.

  The last time I saw her, she was in a hospital recovering from a suicide attempt over a year ago. Her younger brother found me a few months ago with the intention of beating me up as some kind of revenge. He was under the impression that I'd ruined his crazy sister's life. He said that because of me and my sexual experimentations with Isa, she couldn't be with a normal man." Louis started nervously laughing, like a maniac. "I didn't even waste my time telling him the truth about his sister. I had security escort him out of my office. His parents obviously preferred to keep him in the dark about Isabella."

  He pleaded with me. "There was nothing for me to tell you, Em. I've told you I'm not proud of the things I've done before you. Isa and I were friends. I slept with her once … way before I met you. I was alone and horny one night and she was there. Sleeping with her was the biggest mistake of my life. She wasn't mentally stable and I shouldn't have fucked her. She made me look like a villain to her family. Now I look like an asshole to you."

  I didn't know what to say. This was too much information coming at me all at once. I guess there was a lot I still don't know about him. I still had questions for him that just didn't add up in my head.

  "You said to her that she should've told you. What should she have told you?"

  "Emily, she wrote a book; a memoir about her and me. My legal department has been trying to keep it out of print. But, as you know, sex sells. The media loves to make me out to look like a heartless pig. One minute I'm an eligible bachelor; the next I'm a sex-hungry douchebag. There is no question that even if she removes my name people will still know the book is about me. It's mostly lies. Some of the events did happen but she edited me into almost every sexual scenario you could imagine as the fucking culprit."

  "Louis, who cares? It's just a book. It's not like you have a sex tape out there with her … right? If you just tell people it's all a lie they'll believe you."

  "No, definitely no sex tapes. But baby, if you read this book … I know you will never agree to be my wife. It will scare the shit out of you. Emily, what she did in my presence is nothing I'd ever want to come to light. She liked crazy shit. She needed crazy situations to get her off and I was dumb enough to provide them for her."

  "Louis, I don't understand."

  "Baby, why would you? You're perfect and innocent. I was fucked up before I met you. I was empty. I was trying to find myself. I once arranged for ten men to fuck her in every hole imaginable at a private party. She asked me and I didn't even love her or care about her enough as a friend to stop it. I told her it wasn't a good idea at first but she begged me to make her 'gang bang' fantasy happen and I did. I was there; I watched. Now it all comes back to bite me in the ass."

  I could feel bile rising into my mouth.

  "Did you read the book?"

  "Yes."

  "What else does it say about the man I'm supposed to marry?"

  "It says that she did all those things to please me. That she was in love with me. That she would fuck any man or woman alive just to turn me on and make me happy. She's a sick delusional girl. I never asked her to do anything for me and those things didn't turn me on. She was just entertainment."

  "I guess you're the entertainment now. What do you want me to do, Louis? If this book comes out how will I face my parents? They won't let me marry you if they find out."

  "It won't see the light of day. I promise you. My lawyers are suing her father and his billion-dollar empire for defamation of character. I have a video of us in my apartment. On the video I tell her that I don't love her and that as her friend I don't want her to keep doing what she's been doing to her body. She told me that if I didn't continue having a sexual relationship with her she would kill herself or she would kill me. She promised to make up lies and ruin my career. That was when our friendship ended. My lawyers have been working with her father and his counsel to eradicate this stupid filthy book. Hopefully they'll be able to get her out of our lives forever."

  What if she tries to hurt him? Could she come after me? I thought to myself as fear ran up my spine. "Will it work?"

  "Yes, my team is confident. I just didn't want her coming after you. Emily, I told you if I knew I would one day find my heart and soul outside my body, I would never have done the things I did. I never knew it was possible to love a woman the way I love and need you. Please baby, you have to believe that I made stupid choices and had stupid friends but you are my life now. I would never do anything to jeopardize what we have. I love you and I wish I could rewind, erase, and change my past, but I can't. You are my future and I want to live with YOU in the future. I don't want to live in my past. My past was what brought me to you; it prepared me for this, for us. I promise we'll get through this … just don't leave me."

  He looked scared that day. How did he not know that I couldn't leave him even if I tried? I couldn't imagine a second without Louis Bruel, let alone a life without him.

  ****

  My life changed drastically after Turks and Caicos. Life wasn't as happy and carefree as I'd let myself imagine. There was a dark cloud quietly looming over our life now. I had a bodyguard at all times shadowing my every move. The book Louis described to me never got printed and a few months after our wedding Isabella was admitted into a psychiatric hospital shortly after trying to kill herself.

  That was a big disaster that Louis and I were spared. Having a book like that forever circulating about the man who would one day be the father of my children was nauseating to think about. A few years ago Louis informed me that Isabella overdosed and died while back home in London. Despite everything he told me, I knew that he had cared for her seeing how depressed and sad he got after learning about her death. I was sad for him and for her family. They couldn't save their daughter; she was a lost soul. I forgave Louis for being an immoral careless friend to that fragile girl. But I was also secretly relieved for my family that she was gone and would never be a threat to any of us again.

  Our past was there to teach us to be better in th
e future, and my husband had learned his lesson … I thought.

  Chapter 29

  Life in fast-forward...

  Our life after that point just seemed to go in fast forward. To make up for not spoiling me during our early courting period, Louis over-compensated by having fresh flowers delivered to me every day for a few months. I finally talked him into just getting me flowers once a week. Louis was generous in all aspects. He spoiled me with his love, his time, and his wealth. Which, as he constantly reminded me, was my wealth, too.

  I moved in with Louis shortly after we got back from Turks and Caicos two weeks later. My parents weren't thrilled about my decision, but Louis threatened to move into my room if they refused. He was so worried about me getting mad and leaving that he felt he could only diffuse those situations by keeping me within arm's reach. I honestly loved going to sleep and waking up in his strong arms every day. I couldn't imagine for a second living apart from him.

  We had sex on every surface of his treehouse. My favorite place to make love to Louis had to be in the pool. The way the sound of our lovemaking echoed across the space, bouncing off the walls and the water only added to the impossibly risqué spectacle.

  Between being Louis Bruel's fiancée and starting to run Crown Affairs with Jenna and Mike, I had very little time to go to school. We agreed that going to school part-time was still better than not going at all. My overachieving parents kept trying to push me to go to school full-time. I wanted to attend NYU full-time to be a well-rounded person, but the truth was it only took away from my time with Louis. My subconscious must've known back then that my days with Louis Bruel were numbered and that every minute was precious. We were inseparable, insatiable, and omnivorous, sharing ourselves with no one but each other.

  We decided to get married on our estate in Turks and Caicos on December 31st, with thirty of our closest friends and family. Louis told me that his New Year's resolution was for me to be Mrs. Bruel. That wedding was the first event that I executed as a shareowner and partner of Crown Affairs. The wedding was incredible and romantic. The festivities lasted for a whole week. We rented out several villas around Providenciales so that all of our guests had their own place to retreat to. I think Louis wanted our house to be just for us. He was unapologetic about not wanting to share me with our friends and family.

  Sara and her entire family, including her brother Eddie and his girlfriend Michelle, all joined in on our festivities as well. She was my unofficial maid of honor. Eddie and Michelle also announced to everyone a few nights before the wedding that they were engaged, finally. Louis and Eddie very unexpectedly took a liking to each other in addition to having a good working relationship.

  The night before our big day we had our sorry excuse for bachelor and bachelorette parties. Mike promised me no strippers and Jenna promised Louis that we wouldn't leave the house. It was more like a relaxing pajama party with my favorite girls than a wild night out. Sara presented me with my something blue, which was a brand new, light blue vibrating dildo. It was double the size of Pinky. My sister's gift was my wedding night lingerie, which consisted of a pure white lace bustier that propped my boobs up even higher, and satin ruffle and lace panties that hardly covered my butt.

  Louis and I were supposed to spend that night apart from each other before we got married. That was the plan. Sara and I got a little tipsy on champagne and fell asleep in her room together. In the morning I woke up in my bed and in Louis' strong arms. I knew he wouldn't spend the night away from me. I was admiring the view of my soon to be husband, not yet letting the anxiety of our upcoming wedding day get to me.

  "Did you enjoy your last night of freedom?" I asked when I could tell he wasn't asleep anymore but just pretending so I could ogle him a little longer.

  "The hottest part of my night was finding my sexy soon to be wife in bed with another woman. I should've stayed home to watch."

  I pushed him away. He was laughing and trying to pin me under him. He was just about to prove how sexy the thought of me with another woman was when Jenna stormed the room and almost threw Louis off me.

  "You can wait until tonight … for the love of God, leave her alone for one night," she screamed.

  He was holding a pillow over his straining hard-on. The scene was unforgettable and hysterical. The look on my sister's face was priceless. She was trying hard to look at him with disgust and contempt but those two emotions are hard to fabricate around Louis Bruel naked and smirking with that damn dimple plastered on his cheek.

  "Can you please leave our room? I have a gift for your sister," Louis yelled mockingly back at JenJen.

  "I know what kind of gift you have. You'll have to explain to your gift it has to wait until after the ceremony. Emily has to get ready."

  "Jenna, please, we need some privacy unless you want me to drop the pillow."

  Jenna gave him the I'm warning you look and then she gave me the be strong look and stormed out. Louis dropped the pillow, giving me a glimpse of what would soon all be legally mine.

  "I'm ready for my gift … I won't tell, if you won't."

  He jumped into bed and shut my mouth with a proper good morning kiss. He pulled me to him and straddled me on his hips. He pulled a box from his nightstand drawer. I guess he was serious about getting me a gift.

  "Louis, I didn't know. I didn't get you anything."

  "Em, you're marrying me today and you're sitting naked on my dick … if you find a gift to top that … I want it!"

  I lowered myself to kiss my most prized gift of all. I didn't even want to leave him for a few hours to go get ready. I just wanted for us to stay in bed together forever. I'm sure the Rabbi could just marry us in bed. He pulled the square red box open to reveal matching sapphire and canary diamond earrings, a pendant, and tennis bracelet. It was magnificent and must've cost more than some people's homes. It was beautiful.

  "It's incredible and I don't deserve it. I haven't done anything to earn this."

  He looked at me, confused by my reaction. Whenever Louis bought me crazy expensive things I felt undeserving. I hadn't worked for any of this. He didn't need to spend his hard earned money on me. I didn't need this.

  "You deserve the moon, the sky, and the fucking stars. Once I figure out a way to get those they'll be yours. If I can't buy you things, then what's the point of me having all my millions? Everything that is mine is yours. I didn't steal the money I have. I earned it! I earned it for us. Emily, please let me give you beautiful things."

  I nodded. There was no point arguing with him. He loved me and he got me things that he thought pleased me. "Thank you. It's beyond stunning, I'll wear them today."

  Jen and I decided to have a local designer supply the flowers for my wedding. Every inch of the beach was covered in pink peonies and lilacs. Our Chuppa was constructed over our infinity-edged pool overlooking the ocean. The pool was covered with a special lucite stage with a sea of water lilies trapped under the glass. It looked as if we were walking in Monet's garden toward a flower altar. Once the sun started to set, the hundreds of candles illuminated the night sky. My parents, my nana Rose and Louis' mom all stood with us under the Chuppa.

  I was wearing a cream-colored, strapless, mermaid bottom, silk taffeta Carolina Herrera gown designed just for me. Louis wore a black Kiton tux that was hand delivered from Italy and fitted to perfection in Turks a week before our wedding. Holding his hands and listening to him profess his love to me, promising to take care of me in front of God and our family was equivalent to having my heart beat outside my chest. It was indescribable. That night was perfect.

  Louis had only one request for our wedding. He wanted to be in charge of the musical entertainment. I remember Jen and I agreeing but being slightly apprehensive. I wanted everything to be perfect. I should've known Louis Bruel couldn't do anything less than perfect. We had more musicians attend our wedding than guests. You would think we were at Carnegie Hall attending a symphony. Our first dance still tak
es my breath away and chokes me with tears every time I let my heart relive that moment. A beautiful older woman walked out on the illuminated checkered dance floor that was set up on the beach under a huge white tent. With her soulful sexy jazz voice she serenaded us to our first dance. She belted out What Are You Doing For The Rest Of Your Life and I stopped breathing. I was floating away with my husband and letting each word wash over me.

  What are you doing for the rest of your life?

  North and South and East and West of your life

  I have only one request of your life

  That you spend it all with me…

  That song still plays in my subconscious as the background to all my dreams. Hollywood couldn't have scripted my wedding better if they tried. It was spectacular from beginning to end, just like my husband. Every song that played at my wedding had meaning. Louis, with Sara's help, chose all of my favorite ‘80s songs. He didn't want to let anyone except my dad dance with me. I had to beg his mother to make him dance with her for a few songs so I could sneak a dance in with Mike and Eddie.

  Sara and I even had our girls' moment where we danced to Tina Turner's Simply The Best like we were back in my room and it was just the two of us. Louis enjoyed our little show, but came to claim his runaway bride and made sure I danced only with him for the rest of the night. At midnight we toasted the New Year with a private fireworks display as a surprise treat from my husband. He wanted to know during the light spectacle if we could have another 4th of July performance but this time with penetration. He could do whatever he wanted to me from that day on and I would love every minute of it. We danced all night and made sweet love into the morning hours long after our guests had left. It was our fairy tale. I should've known the end would be closing in on my fairy tale eventually. Fairy tales aren't meant to last outside the pages of a book.