Still thicker than water

by Takerra, Allen

  Heaven Inc. Urban Entertainment &

  Angelic Script Publishing Presents…

  Still

  Thicker

  Than Water

  Takerra Allen

  Copyrighted Material

  This is a work of fiction. Any characters, places, objects, or situations in this book are solely of the Author’s imagination. Any resemblances are purely coincidental.

  Copyright © 2010 by Angelic Script Publishing. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form without permission from the publisher except for quotations in review form.

  ISBN-10: 0-9844150-1-7

  ISBN-13: 978-0-9844150-1-4

  Printed in 2010

  Printed in the USA

  Acknowledgments

  Alright, third time around. Really? Wow. Still brand new to this though, still growing and learning, and loving every minute of it. :-)

  Okay, enough. Let's get to it. Short & sweet. Yeah right, but I'll try.

  God. Seriously. To you be the glory. Mommy-do you see me down here? Are you smiling? I hope so. I never got a chance to tell you how perfect you were. How strong, and loving, and amazing you were. If I could live forever without you, or just one more day with you, it'd be the latter. I can't be selfish and I want you to rest in peace but I can't help how bad I MISS YOU. Daddy-you're my number one fan. I love you so much. Barry-you're my pumpkin, til death do us part. Baby aka Boobs-meow! Dee-dee-you know I couldn't do ANY of this without you. Seriously. Love you girl. Baby sister Leslie-so proud of you. Love you. Big sister N'neka-you're one of the most beautiful people I know. Adore you. Loving brothers-Corey, Billy, Malik, Landon, Tupac, Joe, I know I'm forever protected. Nana-you're the best. Been one of my best friends since I was like 2. :-) I love you. Aunt Leslie and Aunt Barbara, Ivan and June, love you all. All of my billions of cousins, aunts, uncles, etc. - we're thicker than water. Carol and Les Floyd-I know I'll always have another home with you. Alex-thank u 4 making my dad happy. :-) you're the best. Jaielyn, Trey, Naomi, Kamani, Chambray, Tanaia, Laila, Marcus, Jasmine, Malcolm, Brianna, Alexis, Ayesha, Greylin, Leilani-if you babies take anything from me I hope it's to follow your dreams, no matter what. The Mirandas and Romans-Puerto Rico! Love ya'll. Cover models-Tara, Jill, and Kathy. Thank you so much. Bhavash, thanks for the talent. All of the book vendors, stores, book clubs (whatsdastory, amazon, londa's, etc.), and reviewers that continue to show love-thank you from the bottom of my heart! I appreciate you all. All of the authors that show me love, love right back to you.

  THIS BOOK IS DEDICATED TO MY FANS:

  The Thicker than Water fans. The only reason that this book even exists is because YOU wanted it. This is YOUR book, I just wrote it. I hope you guys enjoy it, I hope it satisfies you. It would mean nothing if it was not everything you expected and more. I know every author says they have the best fans, and I'm sure I am sharing a few of you with them, but I think I truly have the most amazing supporters. I LOVE YOU.

  Now turn the page and take a nice long sniff, you JUNKIES!

  Anyone I forgot, I'm sorry. I'll catch you on the reprint, let me know. :-)

  Okay, it's about to start. Ssshhhh! Hope it's good. (crosses fingers) Muahhhhhh! Xoxoxoxoxo

  Chapter 1 - Life

  There was something about today that made Sasha sick to her stomach.

  Boom! Boom! Boom! “Let’s go Sasha!”

  Sasha took a deep breath, straightened her back, and went to unlock the bathroom stall door.

  I can do this. And then it happened again, a sudden rush of vomit raced from her stomach to her mouth as she turned abruptly and exploded it into the toilet.

  Boom! Boom! Boom! “Sasha, let me in! You know, you are getting married in exactly three minutes, bitch!” That was her annoying, country-ass cousin Cecile.

  “Go away Cecile,” Sasha mumbled, as she gripped the porcelain seat in the Buckhead Baptist Church.

  “Move out of the way.” Terri rudely pushed past the group of family members, who surrounded Sasha’s hideaway stall. She began knocking firmly on the stall herself. “Sasha. Sasha, let me in.”

  When she received no response, she continued in true Terri fashion.

  “Sasha, let me in this instant. It’s your mother.”

  Like I don’t know who she is.

  “Sasha. Sasha,” Terri repeated in a hushed voice.

  Sasha unrolled the two-ply toilet paper and wiped the chunks from her lips as she made a comfortable seat on the stall floor. She could care less about the $8,000 Vera Wang dress that adorned her gorgeous body. She cradled her head in her hands, not paying any mind to her flawless makeup that accentuated her flawless face. She could care less about her hair, this wedding, this day, this man, this life.

  Why?

  Ever since the surreal events that occurred two summers ago, Sasha often found herself asking that question. Why did her life take such an abrupt turn?

  Why did Kim have to die? Why did Neli have to ruin everything? And most of all, why did he have to break her heart?

  Tears lined her face as she thought of Chauncey, the love of her life, the only man that she was sure would ever hold her heart, and the man that had cheated with one of her, used to be, best friends. I guess Neli really did get the last laugh, huh? Chauncey and I are done, just like she wanted. My friends are gone, Kim is dead, Tatum is far away, my world is crumbled…hope the bitch rots in the nuthouse.

  Sasha could hear heels clicking toward her door and was sure it was someone else trying to convince her to emerge from the toilet, be a woman, take the shit on the chin and walk down the aisle. But the girl in her just couldn’t bring herself to stand up and face the reality.

  “Sasha,” a sweet voice beckoned. Sasha looked down at the voice’s feet and studied the Zanotti sandals that she had recently herself purchased. Hmm.

  “Sash, it’s me…Tatum.” Sasha’s ears perked at the delayed recognition of her best friend’s voice. Tatum made it. “Open the door, girl.”

  Sasha didn’t want to face the others, she could still see her mother’s Prada heels and other less glamorous feet scattered around the door. She did however want to see Tatum, her girl, her best friend who had weathered the awful storm with her and still managed to remain by her side. She slowly unlatched the door and before anyone could get a word out, she pulled Tatum inside and closed it back.

  Tatum chuckled, mouth opened, at Sasha’s dramatic behavior but then embraced her fully in a long, warm hug.

  “Ahh mama, I missed youuuu!” She squealed.

  Sasha squeezed back harder and laughed, thrilled to see her partner in crime.

  “Black bitch, how you been?” Sasha joked, still embracing her, and using the nickname they had used as girls. Sasha was the brown bitch, Kim used to be the yellow bitch, and Neli, formerly known as the white bitch, was now just the crazy bitch.

  “I’m good, but what’s up with you girl, locked in the stall like a little ass kid...Getting cold feet?”

  Tatum had a feeling what was wrong with Sasha, but was confused as to how she had come this far, but was just now debating not following through.

  “I don’t know Tay…I don’t know,” Sasha answered truthfully, really not knowing. Tatum studied her friend with a look of uncertainty and brushed away the hair from Sasha’s face with her left hand. She realized how beautiful she looked.

  Her hair had grown out and was down in pretty curls, with a diamond tiara atop of her head. Her skin was perfection, and she had put on a little weight in her butt and thigh area, Atlanta was doing her physically well. But how was it mentally affecting her?

  “Sasha, you know I know you better than anyone, and if you’re not feeling it-” Tatum was cut off by Terri from
outside of the stall.

  “If you don’t want to do it sweetie, we can call the whole thing off…just let me know now so I can cancel the band for the reception.”

  “Ma!” Sasha screamed, irritated that her mother had been eavesdropping on their conversation the whole time. Although her mother was ridiculously annoying in her prying, she did have a point, and was never shy about voicing it. Terri was no fan of Mike, and although Chauncey had brought more pain than pleasure, Terri was still on his team, cheering on the sidelines, and hoping that one day he and Sasha would be reunited.

  Sasha leaned her head back and stared up at the ceiling, wondering what was holding her back. Mike was a good guy; he worked his way through medical school, was now a doctor, catered to Sasha head to foot, and took her and Chauncey’s daughter, Aubrey, in as his own. Who wouldn’t want to marry him? Me.

  Tatum was still looking at Sasha with that look. That look that said, just let me know what you wanna do? Sasha knew Tatum was with her no matter what.

  What am I thinking? Pass up on Mike, for what? For Chauncey? The man that’s in jail, the man that I don’t even know if I can trust? The man who clearly has no plans on leaving the street life alone any time soon? No, no way. I have to be smarter than that. I have a little girl to think about. Hell no!

  “No, no, I’m fine. I’m doing it…Ma, you hear me, I’m doing it. So hang up the phone,” she barked.

  “I… I am not on the phone,” Terri defensively answered, but then whispered into her cell, “Cancel that, wedding’s back on.”

  Sasha rolled her eyes at her mother’s assumption, and then took a deep breath and looked at Tatum with a smile.

  “See, I’m fine. I just needed a moment…and I needed you,” Sasha admitted, glad that her best friend was now there to hold her hand. Tatum looked at her with doubt.

  “You sure?”

  Sasha nodded vigorously.

  “Yea, yea. Absolutely.” She fingered her curls and adjusted her gown, and then she opened the bathroom door with true Sasha confidence. “Okay, let’s go! Cecile, go tell the organist we’re starting…. Ma, go get daddy… Tatum…” She looked at Tatum. “Hold my hand.”

  She rushed to the mirror and rinsed out her mouth, and then made sure her makeup was on point as a couple of people adjusted her gown. Then she turned around and faced the girls.

  “Okay, now let’s go get me married.”

  The melody of sweet violins began to play, as Sasha’s one year-old daughter, Aubrey, walked down the aisle assisted by an older cousin. They were the flower girls. Followed by them, was the ring bearer, a little boy from Mike’s family, and then the first bridesmaid, who was Sasha’s old friend, Jayde.

  Next was Sasha’s cousin, Cecile, another bridesmaid, by her mother’s choice. And last was Mike’s best man, with Sasha’s maid of honor, Tatum. Sasha heard the music change to the traditional bridal march, and her heart fluttered. Her father remained completely silent, but held a firm grip on her arm. Thank god, because I don’t think I can stand on my own.

  Sasha thought of the irony of her reflection, this was the very reason why she was getting married; she didn’t think that she could stand on her own.

  “You ready baby?” Her father asked her, but Sasha couldn’t answer. She just looked at him with a smile as the doors opened wide.

  The crowd stood at attention and focused on Sasha and her father as they began to slowly make their way down the aisle. Sasha held a plastered smile and studied the happy faces, grinning and snapping pictures. She felt like she was walking to her execution and she was hoping that her emotions weren’t showing on her face. Halfway down the aisle, she felt as if she should finally look at Mike, maybe something that wasn’t there, would suddenly exist in her when she saw his face. Maybe she could will herself to want him, need him, love him. The sad realization came about when she looked into his eyes and felt the need to run in the opposite direction.

  He was looking at her with so much love, so much pride, so much adoration. The thought of her marrying him and depriving him of true requited love caused tears to form into her eyes, which people mistook for an overwhelming rush of emotion.

  As she reached the altar, a sweat broke on her brow and she took a deep breath, hoping that she didn’t have a repeat of the bathroom stall.

  “Who gives this woman away?”

  Don’t daddy, don’t say it.

  “I do.”

  Her father and Mike exchanged Sasha with ease, as if she were money, and Sasha wondered why this was so easy for everyone else.

  “Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today…”

  Okay, okay, I can do this. Look at him, he’s good looking... I mean, he is a little corny, and why the hell is his tie so tight? No, no… he’s not corny, he’s safe. Safe, reliable, gives me no trouble… Wait, what am I marrying, a man or a car? Oh god, Sasha stop it! Take his hands. Are they telling us to hold hands…? I think so. He’s reaching for my hands. There, everyone is smiling, I must be doing the right thing. Why are his hands so clammy? …Look at him, he loves me. Look how happy he is. Concentrate Sasha, Concentrate…

  “Marriage is the union of husband and wife in heart, body, and mind. It is intended for their mutual joy…” The pastor’s voice subsided to a whisper, and then ceased.

  What happened? Sasha wondered. Is it over, am I supposed to say something now?

  She looked to Mike for some reassurance but was confused as to why he was not looking at her. Instead he, like everyone else, was focused on the aisle. Sasha turned, as if in slow motion, and swore that the breath left her body.

  “Oh my god,” she whispered.

  Her heart raced, her head was light, and she had to reach out and hold onto the pastor’s shoulder for support. It was him, and just like always, he commanded everyone’s attention.

  He was dressed in true street fashion, crisp jeans, fresh Air Force’s, blinding jewelry, head full of waves, chocolate skin glowing, confident smile. He stood in the center of the aisle as if he belonged there and as everyone stared at him, he focused on Sasha.

  “I tried to wait until the ‘if anyone objects’ shit, but I figured I wouldn’t waste anymore of your time…let’s go kid.”

  Sasha held his gaze with tears in her eyes and stunned into silence. She hesitantly looked away at Mike and could see the rage radiating off of him. She looked back to Chauncey, who now held out his hand for her, as everyone studied Sasha wondering how she would handle the situation.

  “Daddy!” Aubrey exclaimed, rushing up to him.

  He picked her up and kissed her face lovingly and then looked back to Sasha.

  “Come on princess, come on home. I got you…I’ll never hurt you again.”

  “You sure?” The question escaped Sasha’s lips before she even realized that she was talking.

  “My word…I love you,” he affectionately admitted.

  “I love you, too.”

  Sasha’s feet felt as if they were firmly planted into the ground but as she admitted her love for Chauncey, they began to take flight and she made her way to him. She lifted her gown and didn’t even offer Mike an apology; she just rushed to her man, her love.

  Chauncey pulled her close as she finally reached him, and looked deeply into her eyes. He held Aubrey with his right hand, as his left hand caressed Sasha’s face. He leaned in to kiss her lips and Sasha braced herself for what she had been missing. She could feel his breath on her face as he went from inches away, to almost nose to nose with her. She could smell him, almost taste him, she closed her eyes and her heart melted, and then…and then…and then…

  “Nooooooooo!!!” Sasha screamed, as she abruptly sat upright in her bed. “No, no, no!” She bawled, more quietly, when she noticed that Mike was still peacefully asleep next to her. Chauncey was gone. That was her reality. But in her dreams, she could still have him, or at least, she thought. Lately, it seemed that she couldn’t even have that.

  She looked down at her wedding ring on her finger
, that barely sparkled in the dark, but she still knew that it was there. It was all a lie. She could hear the crickets chirping outside as she gently lifted herself out of bed, and treaded softly out of the room.

  She crept into Aubrey’s room and could see her sleeping serenely, clutching her worn out pink teddy bear. We’ve got to get that thing out of here.

  Her baby, she was so beautiful, looking more and more like Chauncey every day. She blew her a silent kiss as she turned around and headed for the stairs.

  She quietly made her way down the dark staircase and could see the moonlight illuminating the dimness of their home. As Sasha entered the living room, she took a seat on the couch, looking around at her beige living room in the night and thinking of how it reflected her present situation. Her life was now so beige. Chauncey would never allow all of this beige. He would have made me throw some color, or at least some black up in here. Mmm, Chauncey.

  Her thoughts of him re-entered her head as she imagined him the way he appeared in her dream. Those thoughts then turned to ones of their old steamy nights, as Sasha thought of Chauncey’s lips and tongue caressing her body. Mike didn’t know how to do it like him; Mike didn’t know how to do it at all.

  Sasha’s sex life was lacking and she was in desperate need. Sasha thought of how Chauncey used to throw her on the dining room table and eat her like dinner. She imagined Chauncey parting her legs and kissing her thighs as her fingers made her way down her white silk nightie and to her thighs, tracing her fingertips softly up and down, trying her best to emulate a tongue.

  Then, she thought of him parting her second lips with his tongue and discovering her tender clit, gently sucking on it and flicking it, the way she loved. Her fingers tried to do these visions justice as she lay her head back on the couch and kicked her legs up on the table. Oh, she softly moaned.