The bottle of water that's in his hand falls with a dull thud to the floor as he lunges forward. Before I can register what's happening, he grabs my face with both his hands and finally pushes his beautiful, full lips into mine.
Chapter 28
Beck
Her kiss tastes like nothing I've experienced before. Her lips are soft and supple. I feel her hands tangle in my hair as she guides my mouth over hers.
"Zoe," I breathe into the kiss. There's so much that I want to say to her.
She moans in response as I press my entire body against her and into the door. I want to take her right here. I want to be inside of her and I want to give her pleasure that will erase every other man who has touched her, from her mind forever.
"You're so beautiful." I suck in a deep breath as I move my hand down her neck. I tilt her head to the side so I can run my lips along the elegant curve of her skin. "You're the most beautiful woman I know, Zoe."
I sense the smile on her lips as she lightly kisses my forehead. "You've never said that to me."
There are a million things I haven't said to her but need to. They're all sitting on my tongue, waiting to come out but I can't express any of them right now. I'm desperate for her. I feel as though I've been kept from sustenance my entire life and now, finally in this moment, I've been given the one thing I craved all along.
"I want you so much." I try to calm the words. I don't want them to sound as heated and desperate as the desire behind them does.
She pulls back slightly and I stare at her face. Her lips are plump and swollen. Her skin is flushed. Her eyes are wide and open as she locks them on mine. "I want you too, Beck."
It's all I need. I kiss her again, harder this time. I can't get enough of the taste of her breath. I drop my hand to her leg. I want to feel her core. I have to give her pleasure.
Her hands leap to my chest and she pushes softly against it. "What if Albert comes back? What if someone comes?"
I reach beside her to the lock and latch it in place before I push both of my hands into the door on either side of her. "No one can get in. It's just the two of us."
She pushes her mouth back into mine. Her tongue is soft and lush. She runs it over my bottom lip before she licks the top. Her hands are back on my face now, cradling my cheeks as she kisses me deeply and tenderly.
I drop my hand to her leg again and I'm rewarded with a deep moan. Her feet part slightly and I take the invitation she's giving to me.
She whimpers softly into the kiss as I race my hand up her leg towards her panties. The first touch of the damp silk pulls a deep ache from my already throbbing dick. I push the panties aside and dive my fingers into the silk wetness of her cleft in one slick movement. We moan in unison.
She's so wet, so soft and so ready. I grind my jean covered groin into her as I push one finger into her channel. She's so tight. I want to be inside of her. I want to pull my cock out right now and push into her balls deep. I want her legs wrapped around my waist as I empty all of my desire into her.
I circle her clit with my thumb as she lets out a low, slow and deep moan. I push against her chest with mine, securing her against the door as my lips find her chin. "Your pussy, Zoe. Your pussy is so wet."
She moans with the words as a deep blush races over her cheeks. "Beck. Please."
"You want me to taste this, don't you?" I can already tell that the sound of my voice is adding to her arousal. "I want it so much."
The sound that escapes her is soft and low. She parts her lips to say something but all that I hear is her breathing, hard and labored.
I'm on my knees in an instant. I pull her panties to the side as I run my tongue over her folds in one long and painfully exquisite movement. I hold onto her thighs, pushing them apart.
Her hands both fall to my hair as she pulls me closer to her. She's not reluctant and I'm grateful for that. I want her to show me what she wants. I need to hear the tortured sounds she's making that are telling me that I'm giving her everything she needs.
I'm a selfish lover. I take what I can from a woman but with Zoe, it's different. I want to taste her sweetness as she comes for me. I want to touch her deeply until she's quivering on my hand. I want to slide my cock slowly in out and out of her until she can't stand it a moment longer.
"Your tongue, Beck." She pushes herself into me. "I love how it feels."
My cock swells and aches within its constraints. I tongue her harder. I'm desperate to hear the sounds she makes when she finds her release.
She yanks on my hair harder, raising her right leg to gain deeper pleasure. She's greedy. It only makes me want her more.
I pull back and just as she whimpers I twist her around quickly, ripping the panties from her body. I push her dress above her waist. "Move your feet apart, Zoe. Do it."
She acquiesces and I'm greeted with the sight of her glistening pussy and her beautiful, round ass. I lick the length of her cleft before I dart my tongue into her channel, fucking her slowly with it as she clings to the door.
"Oh, God," she cries out into the room. "Oh please."
I hold onto her ass, pulling her open as I lick and suck her pussy until she comes hard, deep and with a loud and uncontrollable moan.
Chapter 29
Zoe
I desperately lean on the door trying to catch my breath. He ate me out. No, wait, it was more than that. He made love to me with his beautiful lips and tongue and I came hard. I came so hard that I couldn't control it at all. I was writhing, and screaming and calling his name. I've never felt that before. I've never come with that much force before.
He's on his feet behind me now. His hand circles my neck as he pulls my head back. His mouth claims mine again in a heated kiss. I taste myself on him. It pulls an involuntarily moan from deep within me.
"Beck," I say his name into the kiss. "I want..."
His hand is back on my hip. I feel his body pressing against me. He's still fully clothed. The unmistakable outline of his hard cock is straining against his pants.
"I don't have a condom," he says the words with resignation. "I don't have a fucking condom here."
I point at my purse, which is now on the floor next to us. "I have some. In my purse."
He hesitates only briefly before he drops to his knees and dumps the contents of my bag on the concrete floor. I watch as he pushes his hands through everything before he grabs one of the foil packages and stands.
I rest my forehead against the door as I listen to the sound of the zipper of his jeans. I hear him open the package and there's a low groan before I sense he's right behind me again.
"Lift your arms," he commands.
I do and in one full sweep he's pulled my dress over my head and my bra follows and falls to the floor.
I push my feet apart again when I feel his thighs brush against the back of my legs. I moan loudly the instant the lush head of his dick slides between my folds and I cry out when he drives his thick cock slowly into me.
"I need you, Zoe," he says as his lips rest against my shoulder. "I need you so much."
I crane my neck back wanting him to kiss me. I'm rewarded when he presses his lips roughly into mine, his teeth pulling my bottom lip between them.
He fucks me hard and slow, a low moan escaping his mouth and falling into mine with each thrust.
I twist my body back towards the door, lean my head into the heavy metal and grind my hips as he thrusts his cock into me until we both come hard in a shuddering climax.
***
"I don't know what I'm supposed to do now," I only say it because it's my truth. I've put my bra and dress back on. He's still nude. He's sitting on the edge of the coffee table, his still semi-erect cock hanging between his legs.
He rakes his hand through his hair. "You're supposed to kiss me now."
I like that. I walk over to where he is and lean down to kiss him. He tastes like me and like him. It's us. That is the taste of the two of us.
"Should I go now
?" I motion towards the door. "I know you have things to do."
He bites the corner of his lip as he studies my face. "How is it that I've fucked so many women and I've never felt that before?"
"Felt what?" I ask quickly wanting to bury the words about how many women he's been with. It's a number I never want to know.
His hands are trembling. I can see them quivering as he holds tightly to the edge of the table. "I felt things, Zoe."
"What things?" I know it's insensitive. I should be more intuitive and be able to read between the lines but my sexual experiences are limited. I've been with a few men but the connection to them has paled in comparison to what I feel for Beck. Even my love for Justin was different than this. This is on a different level completely.
He looks down at the floor as he shakes his head slightly. "I don’t know how to explain it. I felt everything. It was all so much."
He doesn't have to explain it. I felt it too. The orgasm wasn't just about my body. I wasn't chasing that high. It was everywhere. It was all around me and through me. I felt like he was part of me in a way I've never felt with anyone before.
"I have to tell you things, Zoe." He looks up to where I'm standing. "There are things you need to know."
My heart drops with the words. If he pushes me away again now, I don't know that I'll be able to recover from that. It was bad enough when I thought we were just friends. Now, that we've been intimate, everything is different. I need him now. I need him in a way that I've never felt with anyone before.
Chapter 30
Beck
"You live here?" She scans my apartment as soon as I close the door behind her. "You actually live here and you hang out at your studio all the time?"
I smile at the comment. "I like my studio more."
She leans forward to kiss me softly. "I like your studio too."
"How was the rest of your day?" I hate that I have to ask her that question. I wanted to spend the entire day with her but she told me that she had to volunteer in Brooklyn after we'd made love. I dressed with every intention of going with her, but she insisted that I stay at my studio.
I know that I scared her when I told her I wanted to talk. I have things that I need her to know before this can move forward. I want this woman to know all my truths so she can decide if she wants to share her life and bed with me. I won't lie to her. I physically can’t. I feel ill just thinking about the possibility of not being completely honest with her.
"I went to the center in Brooklyn," she offers as I motion for her to sit on my couch.
"That went okay?" I'm not asking out of any burning curiosity. I'm being selfish. I just want her to tell me so I can dive into my pit of confessions and start revealing everything about my sordid past to her.
"Sure," she offers in response as she sits. She runs her hands over the legs of her faded jeans. "It's always okay."
"Do you want something to drink?" I motion towards the kitchen. "I have some wine, water, probably some juice."
"I'm fine." She looks down at the couch. "You said you wanted to tell me things. Can you tell me now?"
I see all the anxiety I'm feeling reflected back in her eyes. She's nervous too. I need to clear the air about one thing before I start pulling Liz and Alexa's name out of the ether.
"I wasn't nice to you at the coffee shop the other day," I say the words as I sit next to her. "I know that I was dismissive and rude."
She holds tightly to the ends of the brightly colored scarf that's wrapped around her neck. "I thought you met someone and wanted our friendship to be over."
I didn't know that would be the conclusion she'd jump to until earlier today when she started questioning me about who I was fucking. "That wasn't it at all."
"You were so different that day. I thought I'd pissed you off."
"I told my brother about you right around that time." I glance over to the kitchen table where all the plans for my new studio still sit undisturbed. "He told me to be careful."
"Careful of me?" Her hand leaps to her chest.
"He was worried that I'd end up in the same place I was before. He didn't want me falling for someone who was involved with another man."
She considers the words carefully. "Did you think I was seeing someone else?"
"No," I stop myself. "I don't know. You're beautiful. You work at a pub. You meet a lot of men."
"I would have told you if I was seeing anyone." She taps her hand against the leg of my dark pants. "We were best friends, remember?"
"You're my best friend." I reach to grab her hand. "You really are."
She brushes her fingers over my brow. "I always wanted to be more than your friend, Beck."
I didn’t want to know that. I sensed it after the way she kissed me. I knew it when I slid myself inside of her and she was so ready and wanting. "I always wanted to be more than your friend too."
The smile on her face is both beautiful and tragic. "We almost lost each other."
"Almost doesn't count," I whisper against her lips as I kiss her softly.
***
I push my back into the softness of the mattress as she rolls her tongue over the head of my cock. I let out a low moan when she races her hand down the length of it. This is good. It's so good that I'm about to blow my load all over her.
I'd kissed her in the living room until I couldn’t stand it anymore. I'd taken her by the hand into my bedroom and watched as she pulled her clothes from her body. I'd wanted to taste her again but she pushed me onto my back and crawled between my legs, I couldn't control myself. I wanted to feel her lips around me. I wanted to watch her face as she gave me pleasure.
"Zoe," I whisper her name. "I don't want to come."
Her response is a muffled vibration around the head of my dick. That sensation alone pushes me closer to the edge and I have to bite my lip to keep from screaming loudly. "Christ, Zoe. Please. I want to be inside of you again."
She shifts her body to the side so I can see more of her. I raise my head from the pillow to soak in her profile. Her breasts are heavy and round. Her body curves in the most perfect ways. She's feminine, soft and sensuous.
I throw my head back as she swallows the length of my cock in one easy movement. It's too much. I cling to the blanket with fisted palms. My body takes over. I start thrusting my hips towards her mouth. I want to fuck her so badly. I want to feel myself inside of her again.
"Zoe, stop," I beg. "Let me fuck you."
She glances at my face for not more than a brief second before she moans slowly around my cock. It's all it takes. It's all I need.
I hold tightly to her head when the first burst of pre-cum explodes from the tip. She wiggles her body slightly, slides her mouth around the pulsing root and takes everything I give to her.
Chapter 31
Zoe
I feel his hair on my thigh just as his lips touch my moist core. I reach down to try and coax him to come up. I must have fallen asleep. The room is dark. The only sounds I hear are his moans as he lashes his skilled tongue against my folds and my labored breathing.
I want to come again. I had earlier, after I'd taken him in my mouth. He'd touched my pussy as he kissed me and I'd come just from the sensation of his finger softly circling my clit and his mouth claiming mine. He'd groaned into my body when I shivered on his hand.
"Beck," I cry out his name as I near the edge of another climax. "Slow down, please."
I feel bereft when his mouth leaves me. "Why? I can do this all night."
It’s a promise that holds more pleasure than anything I've known before. My body is already aching knowing that in a few hours I'll need to leave to go to my interview at the law school. I'll have to shift my mind to a place that doesn't include Beck and it's becoming harder and harder to do that.
"God, please," I cry out as he licks my clit with deep, heavy strokes.
My hips buck off the bed when he slides a long finger into my channel and I cry out when I come hard, fast and uncontrol
lably against his lips.
***
"I have to go home." I tap him on his chest.
He'd fallen asleep after he ate me. He'd crawled back up my body and had rested his head against mine as he pulled me into him.
I should have slept too but I stared at him and studied every line on his forehead. I memorized the intricate and colorful shapes of the tattoo on his arm. I'd imagined his face without the beard and I wondered if he had always looked this peaceful and content as he slept.
"Don't go." His voice is a sleepy growl. "Stay with me, Zoe."
"I want to." I kiss him softly, the words not able to fully carry the desperate need I feel to stay close to him. "I have my interview at the law school today."
His eyes flutter open. Even in the darkened room I can tell how beautiful they are. They're a different shade of blue than I've seen before. They're deep and endless.
"I have to go home so I can get ready." I kiss him again, deeper this time. I want to savor the taste of his lips and his breath so it can stay with me the entire day.
"I can go with you." He whispers against my mouth. "Let me go with you. I need to tell you things."
"You stay here." I inch away from him. "I'll call you when I'm done."
He nods slowly, his eyelids are heavy. "You'll do great, Zoe. They won't be able to resist you."
His belief in me is going to be the buoy I need to get through this. I stare down at him as he drifts back to sleep and I can't help but wonder what secrets he's holding within and why he feels such an undeniable need to share them with me.
***
"It went really well, mom," I say into my phone. "I think I did a good job."
"I have no doubt about that." The excitement in my mother's voice is welcome. We haven't talked a lot since I moved to New York. We each needed some space and time to adjust to the distance. Even though we'd struggled together to understand Justin's death, she'd always been there for me.
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