Tangled Web

by Lee Rowan

  “Certainly, I will do my duty,” he said, “if Mama can wangle a voucher so we mere mortals may be permitted to purchase tickets. Elspeth is surely eligible, but I’m not much of a catch for those thoroughbred maidens.”

  James rolled his eyes. “You’ll do well enough if you can refrain from referring to the ladies as though they were horses. Ellie has passed muster, and Lucy was allowed to transfer her voucher. As for you… if rumor is correct, this Season has an unusually high proportion of newly-launched ladies to suitable gentlemen, which may explain how Mama was able to obtain admission for you. White cravat and knee-breeches, of course. Norwood will see to it you don’t disgrace us.”

  Norwood was James’ valet, and dictated Brendan’s attire when he was in residence at the family home. “I shall be as neat and discreet as Brummel himself,” Brendan promised. “How has Ellie fared thus far? Any disreputable knaves to be driven off?

  “She has two very proper admirers.” Anne, James’ wife, was really the font of knowledge on the subject of Elspeth’s progress. “Harry Edrington, the Earl of Edrington’s younger brother, is the suitor I favor. The other is a handsome but rather intense divinity student who came to dinner with the Bishop last month.”

  “My dear,” James put in, helping his wife up into the carriage,

  “that is a very incomplete description. Young Nigel is Bishop Fenwick’s nephew, after all.”

  She arranged her skirts around her and made sure the children were settled as James and Brendan seated themselves opposite and the coachman set the horses in motion. “Yes, that’s true. But they are nothing alike. The Bishop is a merry gentleman, quite good-humored. His nephew seems almost grim in comparison.”

  “My impression was that he is focused on his studies,” James put in.

  Anne’s expression spoke volumes. “Very true, my love. His dedication is commendable, but he would be more attractive if he could find it in him to rejoice in the Lord. I have the impression Mr. Fenwick has formed a very serious attachment for Elspeth, with no encouragement on her part.”

  That sort of gentleman did not sound like a good match for his high-spirited, cheerful sister. “Is she seriously attached to him?” Brendan asked.

  Anne laughed merrily. “Oh, no. Ellie is enjoying the admiration, of course, but she told me that she has no wish to be a clergyman’s wife with a whole parish to care for besides her own establishment. And your mama says that if anyone goes into the Church, it will most likely be yourself.”

  Brendan winced. His mother had once caught him making a sketch of a memorial in St. Paul’s cathedral and mistaken her youngest son’s affinity for religious structures for an interest in theology itself. He had not welcomed her suggestion that he look toward a career in the Church. “I most often go into the church to admire its architecture. I have no wish—” He stopped, noticing young Jamie watching him, listening intently. “It’s the physical beauty that draws me, I’m afraid, not spiritual zeal. I have not been blessed with a calling to the ministry.”

  The presence of the children kept him from adding that he saw no qualities in the Church of England that were sufficiently superior to any other religion to cause him to embrace it as a lifelong career. And he could hardly explain that his sexual peculiarity was prohibited by that Church and all Christian religions.

  If the Church of England had the same sort of rules as the Church of Rome, he could almost see some use in it—an edict to refrain from taking a wife would neatly mask his lack of interest in such a course. But England’s church put no such unnatural strictures on its clergy, and if he were to enter the Church, Brendan knew what would happen. A young, unmarried clergyman with even passable looks was a natural magnet for high-minded young ladies, and the job carried with it the expectation that he’d seek a wife and helpmeet. No, the welcoming arms of the Church were hardly a haven for a man of skeptical principles who wanted to avoid entanglements with the fair sex.

  “Have you considered the study of architecture?” James suggested. “I know Robert Smirke slightly; he was recently made Chief Architect for the Office of Works, and he would be the man to ask for direction if you have an interest in the profession.”

  “I should look into it,” Brendan said. “I really must decide what to do with myself. Even if I were well-breeched enough for the idle life, I haven’t the inclination.”

  “Well, you needn’t decide this afternoon.” James gave him an understanding smile. “I expect I should have been hard put to make such a decision at your age. Being firstborn made the decision for me, you might say. Never fear. You’ll always have a home with us, at any rate, and even if Father means to keep you from spending all your time with the horses, I should welcome your help.”

  “You will be staying with us, I hope?” Anne added.

  “Yes, of course, if you’ll have me. I had thought that the life of a gay dog out on the town would be diverting, but truth be told, I find it rather dreary. I fear I’m a dull stick.”

  James shook his head. “You are an unusually sensible young man. I had no idea you’d come to that conclusion so quickly, but I confess it’s a relief to hear you say it. There are too many pitfalls in this city, just waiting for young men who haven’t any sense.”

  Brother, you have no idea how right you are! Brendan quickly steered the conversation away from that dangerous topic. “I’m not sure it’s sense so much as a low tolerance for spirits and a dislike for games of chance. In any case, I imagine our mother will have plenty of errands for me. There is no escort so useful or uncomplaining as a son.”

  “It’s only fair you take your turn with Elspeth,” James said. “I had the honor of being general dogsbody when Mama launched Lucy, even though we all knew she and Richard had set their minds to each other before she ever put her hair up.”

  “It should not be too terrible a hardship,” Anne assured him. “Your mother and I will accompany Elspeth to many of the events, and she often shares a carriage with her friends and their own mothers. You will be conscripted for one or two affairs a week, at most.”

  “You need the experience,” James said. “Every man should be required to dance attendance on a sister—it lets him know what he is in for once he acquires a wife.” The smile that passed between him and Anne made it clear that his words were only teasing.

  Brendan felt a deep pang of envy. What a wonderful thing it would be to have a wife, a helpmeet, a companion. But he knew himself too well to think that his fondness for his sisters could ever metamorphose into the tenderness his brother clearly felt for Anne, and he had seen too many unhappy marriages to want the form without the substance. He would never have a wife. He would never have anyone.

  He was in the bosom of his family… and he had never felt so alone.

  CHAPTER 3

  After a more substantial second breakfast with his family, Brendan excused himself to go retrieve his belongings, borrowing the carriage to simplify matters. He left the carriage just outside the house, and was pleased to find Tony absent. With no more than a twinge of guilt for the relief he felt at being able to avoid a scene, he wasted no time in bundling his clothing back into his suit-cases, and setting them beside the door. He could carry them downstairs himself, and save a little time.

  Should he leave a note? Courtesy demanded it, but given Tony’s tempestuous nature Brendan was reluctant to commit anything to paper, where it might be misinterpreted. It took him longer to decide what to say than it did to write the message, borrowing a sheet of Tony’s writing paper as well as his pen and ink-bottle.

  “Dear Tony:

  Many thanks for your gracious hospitality. I am sorry to have missed you, but my mother has summoned me to attend to family duties, and I cannot be certain when my time will once more be my own. I expect we shall see one another before long; I do not believe I shall be sent out of town during the Season, much as I might wish it. Best regards…”

  That should do the job. Simple, noncommittal, and devoid of any suggestion of
irregular attachment or impropriety. He sealed the sheet with a wafer, melted a bit of wax on it, and pressed it shut. Done!

  He did not precisely hurry down the stair and out the door, but he did not dally.

  Galahad was an excessively happy horse. His delight in being released from the confines of his stall expressed itself in far more prancing and head-tossing than Brendan would expect as his usually even-tempered mount was led out of the stable and into the sunshine. It wasn’t fair to blame the horse, though. Everyone knew chestnuts were a bit high-strung, and that had been clear from the moment Brendan set eyes on him. But when Galahad was treated well and properly exercised, that reservoir of energy made him a delight to ride, sensitive and responsive to his master’s every wish.

  “He’s right glad to see you, sir,” said the stable-boy. “I had him out for a walk yesterday, but he’s never so bright as when he sees you a-coming.”

  “Is that so?” Brendan took the lead, handing the boy a coin. “I should have been here sooner, then. This lad needs to stretch his legs.”

  “Yes, sir. Thankee, sir.” He touched his cap and nearly offered a leg up, then remembered that was unnecessary with this rider, and vanished back into the livery stable.

  “So you missed me, did you?” Brendan patted Galahad’s sleek neck. “I missed you, too, old boy. I should’ve been spending more time with you than the company I’ve kept of late.” He swung up into the saddle and turned his horse’s head toward Hyde Park.

  Galahad was more rambunctious than usual, but the sheer joy of being on horseback, out in the beautiful afternoon, soothed Brendan’s own anxiety, and before long the improvement in his mood reflected itself in his mount’s behavior. Just as well, too; a full-out gallop would have calmed them both, but only a witless fool would try a stunt like that here. That would only get him banned from the park for his trouble. He entered at the Marble Arch gate and directed Galahad from a walk to a trot until he was warmed up, then let him glide into his smooth, rocking-horse canter. This was heaven—no quarrels, no threat of temperaments or sulking, just a sweet happiness in the sunshine and the wind of their passage.

  Brendan noticed a few of his family’s acquaintances as he rode around the Row, but they were absorbed in their own socializing. If they saw him, they left him to his exercise, and he was just as pleased with the solitude. Halfway through his third circuit, however, he found himself coming up behind a carriage that seemed familiar. As he guided Galahad to one side in order to pass without alarming the horses, he realized with a shock that Tony and his father were two of the passengers.

  Tony glanced up and blinked in surprise, then immediately looked away. In a flash of hooves Brendan was past the carriage, Galahad’s long strides opening the distance from the vehicle. Brendan was left with a quick, sharp impression of the other two passengers. Two ladies, one young, the other somewhat older, and old George Hillyard had seemed to be engaged in conversation with them.

  Tony had looked somewhat sullen, as he usually did when in his father’s company, and Brendan could imagine why. That young lady must be the prospective bride Tony had mentioned. Brendan did not recognize her, but that meant little, as he would not have met her socially; she would certainly be older than his sister Elspeth but younger than Anne’s set. Besides, if her parents were desperate enough to be considering Tony as a match, she would have some fatal flaw that would exclude her from those young ladies Brendan’s own mother would have introduced him to as suitable.

  The girl was not a beauty from the quick glimpse he’d had, though one could not fairly call her unsightly. Her looks had not been enhanced by a discontented expression that was regrettably similar to Tony’s. Some girl of better breeding than dowry, willing or instructed to lower her sights to a husband whose money came from trade. That courtship would not be conducted at Almack’s; Brendan remembered Tony being vindictively pleased when his father’s attempts to procure a voucher for his heir had been unsuccessful.

  Brendan felt a pang of sympathy for the girl, whoever she was. What a sorry situation—a suitor who would rather debauch himself with strange men than tie himself to a wife, and a young woman who had no choice but to marry beneath her station or face some even more unhappy alternative.

  As the Hyde Park Corner gate loomed closer, Brendan brought Galahad down to a walk and turned him toward the exit. It was not the gate nearest the stable, but that was perfectly all right; neither of them had had enough exercise, and taking the long way around would extend the ride without the risk of Mr. Hillyard recognizing his son’s noble friend and calling him over to introduce him to the ladies. A month ago, Brendan knew, he would have avoided the encounter out of jealousy—he would not have wanted to see his lover with anyone else, man or woman. But Tony’s shameless promiscuity at the Arbor had cured him of that; at this moment, he all he could feel toward either of them was pity.

  Once Galahad was stabled, Brendan walked around from the mews to the family’s house in Brook Street. He’d barely changed into proper attire when he heard light footsteps hurry down the hall, and found himself enveloped in a warm hug from his younger sister. He gave her a kiss on the forehead. “Hello, my dear! How was your trip? Where’s our mother?”

  “The trip was lovely, but Mama has been so busy in Bath that she quite wore herself out. She’s taking a little rest in her room. Come, I was just about to have a cup of tea in the drawing room. You must tell me about your Town adventures. Have you been to the gambling hells?”

  He laughed at her enthusiasm as she settled herself and poured them each a cup of tea. “A few, and I must say that they were really rather boring—harmless enough for an hour or two, but no more. I would rather spend an evening with a good book.”

  “How is your friend from Oxford, Mr. Hillyard?”

  “Oh, he is well.” Brendan felt himself slip into his habitual state of caution, weighing every word to yield truth, but never in full measure. “He’s being set to learn his father’s business, so I thought it best to leave him to it. We had our little holiday, but we both need to stop wasting time with foolishness and games of chance.”

  He looked her over critically; her pale green gown was one he had seen many times, but her demeanor had altered ever so slightly since the last time they’d met. She was changing, too, from the lively playmate of his childhood into a poised young lady. “And how is your own game progressing, my dear? James tells me you already have a pair of admirers looking daggers at one another.”

  “You are too bad, Brendan! James told you no such thing.” She sipped her tea, eyes dancing. “They are both perfect gentlemen, and I am having a grand time. When Lucy was doing her first Season I felt I would never get out of the nursery and be able to put my hair up and sit at the big table with the rest of you.”

  “Your patience has been rewarded. You have arrived, and you look very grown-up and elegant. Who’d have thought either of us would be so presentable, after all the time we spent spoiling our clean clothes in the nursery?”

  “You do look most impressive,” Elspeth admitted. “Handsomer than James, I think, but I would never tell him so.”

  He grinned. “You are exceedingly perceptive, Ellie, but pray let us keep that between ourselves. Have either of your admirers spoken to Father yet?”

  “No… and I don’t mind, truly. I am enjoying myself so, I would prefer not to receive a formal offer too soon. But I do like the Honorable Harry. I think we might suit very well. Do you know him?”

  “Edrington? I think we have met once or twice,” Brendan said. “He finished at Oxford the year I began; I would not say I know him well.”

  “I thought not. I would very much like for you to meet him at Almack’s, and tell me what you think.”

  “I should be happy to. But if James and Anne approve, he must be unexceptionable, and surely my opinion is not as important as Father’s?”

  “Of course Papa will have the final word. But I think you know me better, in all truth. Papa will ask questions a
bout Mr Edrington’s income, and his relations—all important matters, I am sure, but not the things I most need to know. You would be the better judge of that. Will he suit not only me, but the rest of the family?”

  “If you love him, Ellie, I’m sure the rest of the family will do our best to make him welcome.”

  She selected a biscuit from the plate, and nibbled at it thoughtfully. “I do hope you like him, Brendan. I am quite dazzled. We dance well together—he is not too tall for me—and he has lovely manners. Quite handsome, as well. And… Brendan, he has asked me whether I would mind if he spoke to Papa.”

  “Is that not the wrong way round? I thought he was supposed to ask Papa first.”

  “And you are my elder brother!” she said, laughing. “Brendan, when you find yourself in that position, remember that the proper thing to do is to speak to a lady’s father. The sensible thing to do is to ask the lady first. Not to make an offer of marriage, but to find out whether she would be willing to receive an offer.”

  It occurred to Brendan that men and women operated by two different sets of rules, and men were floundering in the dark. “I suppose that is sensible,” he said cautiously, not wanting to appear any more ignorant than he already felt.

  “Of course it is! Considerate, too. Only think how foolish we would both have felt if I had taken him in dislike!”

  “Then you gave your consent to Edrington asking if Father would give his consent?”

  “Oh, yes.” Elspeth seemed reluctant to speak further, but Brendan knew her well enough to be sure he had only to wait patiently. Finally she said, “I do like him, very much. But there are so many things men know about each other that a girl would discover only after it is too late.”

  That was a shot too near the gold. Brendan thought instantly of Tony and Miss Unknown in the park. “What do you mean, Ellie? Has he said or done anything to make you uneasy?”