Allison and the Torrid Tea Party: A Dark Reverse Harem Romance (Harem of Hearts Book 2)

by C. M. Stunich

  There's a long moment of silence, broken only by the melodic sound of an insect that vaguely—and only vaguely—reminds me of a cricket. Vultures in every color of the rainbow sit perched on a heavy tree limb, watching and waiting.

  "Oh, I do believe we're being spied on, old chap," the Gryphon says, lounging next to the vultures like he's one of them. Now that I think about it, his face does vaguely remind me of one of the ugly scavenger birds. His wings, too.

  "I believe you're right," the Mocking Turtle says, smacking his pointed and deadly mouth with a grotesque, wet smack. "But no prophecies will be held here today. This is a warning to hand over the Alice, not a chance at espionage."

  The Mocking Turtle glances up from his position at the base of the tree and waves his hand, cracking the vision in the Caterpillar's wings and making Lar cry out. Blue, gold, and black dust explodes outward, coating everything.

  Lar collapses, but the King is there to catch him, hoisting the other man up and then laying him on the tabletop with the Duke's help. Cups and teapots scatter everywhere, rolling to the floor and cracking into pieces.

  "We need to get out there," Rab snarls, and he doesn't wait for the King to give him an order of any kind. Instead, he shifts into the massive, hulking form of the bandersnatch, his thick white coat spotted with black, his tail fluffed, the hair along his spine raised. He noses open a set of black shutters I hadn't noticed before, so buried in the shadows were they.

  Silver light from the double moons shines into the room in thick beams, ruining the Torrid Tea Party's ambiance. Tee moves up beside Rab and opens the massive windows for him, throwing them out and into the night air before he makes room for the angry bandersnatch.

  I try to head for the window, too, but Dee holds me back.

  "Oh hell no," he says, shaking his head and wrapping me up in his wings. "They're here because they want to see you—if not snatch you. You're not going out there."

  "But I'm the Alice," I slur, drunk as fuck on boosted tea. I manage to somehow get the Queenmaker off my belt and into my hands, but Dee curls his fingers around my grip and shakes his head. "I'm the …" I stop and sit down heavily in Tee's vacated chair.

  My head is swimming.

  The King and North manage to tie Lar down by borrowing both the Hatter's and the Hare's belts, stuffing a cloth napkin between his lips to keep him from biting his own tongue. The fit he's having looks awfully similar to the one I had.

  Magic is afoot again.

  I stand up and put the palm of my hand against Lar's forehead, glancing over my shoulder to find that Tee has also disappeared from the room. The Mad Hatter and the March Hare are conferring in the corner, and the Duke is already on his way out.

  "Kisses, love," he says, putting his mouth to my cheek. "I won't shift unless I have to, but if I do …" He winks at me as I blink big, stupid eyes up at him. "I'll be quite savage, and I'll need my mate." He tousles my hair and then heads for the window, climbing out onto the roof before shifting his jabberwock wings.

  "Well, you wanted a part of my kingdom. Are you planning on defending it?" Brennin growls at the pair of mercenaries. Chesh simply shifts into cat form and hops onto my shoulders. I'm not sure how useful he is in a fight. I mean, he could very well throw up his hand, shout ‘Moon prism power!’ and change into a magical girl for all I know. Anyway, he takes up residence on my shoulders, prepared to watch the power exchange taking place in front of us.

  "That depends," Raiden says as March balances a butter knife on his fingertip. "I want the Alice to tell me how she plans on weaseling out of our little marriage deal—while she's high on herbs. In fact, have her drink the second round cup and tell me."

  "If she drinks another cup, she'll pass out," Dee snaps, losing his cheerful attitude to defend me. "Fuck you, vampire dick."

  Raiden raises an eyebrow and shrugs his shoulders. I can hear shouting outside, the crash of stone, the crack of a tree limb. I race over to the window with Dee on my heels and peer out, finding Rab scrambling to his feet in a tangle of broken branches, blood dripping from his wolf-y jaws.

  He flattens his rabbit ears against his skull and circles the pair of disturbingly calm men.

  As if they can sense me, they both look up in unison and meet my eyes. A shock travels through me, and I stumble back and away from the open window again.

  "Those are not Recitations," I whisper, feeling my body start to shake. It's involuntary, that shaking. I can't control my emotions right now; I can barely control my own feet. "They're really here."

  "If they're willing to approach Castle Heart, they're not afraid," the King says, moving to stand beside me. "That's not good at all." I have the Queenmaker still clutched in my hand, but as I stand there, I find my fingers inching toward the Vorpal Blade. "Don't touch it," Red snaps, grabbing my wrist. The cat hisses at him and scratches out with a paw, but it's all for show. He knows better than to make the King bleed. "They're trying to get a read on your magic, so they can summon the Anti-Alice. The Vorpal Blade is power incarnate; activate it, and the Anti-Alice will come running. I can smell her out there in the woods, like dusty coffins and death."

  My eyes widen, and I choke back a small sound of terror. This tea is making me paranoid as fuck.

  "Can they get in?" I whisper, watching North stalk along the top of the wall. There's a huge fucking hole in it, but neither the Gryphon nor the Mocking Turtle seem inclined to cross that invisible barrier.

  "They shall not touch, with hands of hate, the pleasance of our Heart’d gate," the King says, and clearly he's reciting some poem or prophecy or something. He turns ebon eyes to me, the silver moonlight turning his red hair into fire. "They can't get in, but the Anti-Alice can … if you fuck with the Vorpal Blade while the wall is down. And anyway, even if those two can’t get in, it doesn't mean they can't hurt you, Allison Liddell. If I were you, I’d leave. Now."

  "If you'd fucked Liam and his friends, your brother would still be alive," the Mocking Turtle calls out, and my entire body goes cold. I turn my head slowly to look at him and find those cold, dead eyes watching me with interest. I have a feeling he's not the only audience in that macabre stare; someone else is looking at me through his face.

  And, if possible, they're even more terrifying than the Mocking Turtle himself.

  "If you'd just relaxed and let it happen, your family would be whole. How does that make you feel?" I just stare at him because there's bile in my throat and a horrid, righteous anger clawing its way through my heart. If I lose my temper now, while drunk and confused, I'll regret it later.

  So I say nothing.

  Because there's nothing bullies hate more than being ignored.

  I back up and leave the raucous outside to the men … for now.

  One day, I'll kill those bastards.

  Tonight is not that night.

  "Here," Raiden says, handing me a teacup and a needle when I turn around. "Do me a favor, and I'll end the chaos outside." I look down at the tea and then up at his face. He really is gorgeous, like a movie star or something. His eyeliner is flawless, his lips full, his smirk just arrogant enough to be attractive.

  But I don't need magic tea to deal with him.

  "I won't fuck someone I don't love—not ever again. If you want to try to win my heart, go for it. Otherwise, I'll marry you as a political move and nothing more. You can have your slice of the kingdom I'm going to turn around." I push the teacup aside and lift my chin while Chesh nibbles my ear and lets out a wild purr. "So, help those men outside or don't. Your choice."

  The Mad Hatter lets the teacup go, letting it crash to the floor in a sea of boiling liquid and shattered China. He looks at me for a long moment, smirks, and then reaches out to tap the brim of my new top hat.

  "I knew I liked you, little Alice." With a jerk of his head, the Hatter moves toward the window with March trailing behind him. As his boss jumps out the window and into the garden, March turns back to look at me with eyes like wet earth, brown and endless
and deep.

  "Good choice, Alice-Doll. You make smart moves with your pieces." He wiggles his ringed-fingers, and then starts to shift into a bandersnatch, brown fur sprouting up through his clothes, the sides of his muscular body marbled like a Bengal cat.

  The March Hare shakes out his coat, and then hops down next to the Mad Hatter.

  "Party's over, my friends," Raiden says, slow-clapping as he approaches the wall. "Nothing to see here, move on."

  "You, sir, are a right bloody traitor," the Gryphon replies, shifting his ragged, ugly wings as Rab pants and watches M.T. and the Gryphon like he'd rather enjoy biting their heads off. Tee is standing on the wall opposite North, flanking the giant hole in the stone.

  In the distance, I hear the scream of a jabberwock and blood begins to trickle down my ears. North stiffens up, so I figure it's a female, but he's safe inside the castle walls, right? The King seemed to think the Anti-Alice’s ability to get in was unique.

  "What can I say?" the Hatter asks with a shrug as Dor makes his way out of the castle to stand beside his boss, on the side opposite the March Hare. The Dormouse crosses his arms like a Hollywood bodyguard, holding his wrists in front of his junk. "I received an offer I couldn't refuse. Send the King of Clubs my apologies. Oh, and let him know my army will be joining the King of Hearts' on the borders of this illustrious kingdom."

  The Gryphon visibly bristles, but the Mocking Turtle does not take his eyes off of me.

  "Untie me, please," Lar chokes out, and I whip my head around to find him lying there with his wings curled inward, like he's in a serious amount of pain. "You and me, Sunshine, we need to get out of here. You don't want to be on the end of the Mocking Turtle's stare."

  "Why not?" I ask as Dee helps me stumble over to the table. He very gently pushes me into a chair while Chesh shifts back into human form and helps untie Lar. The Caterpillar sits up, chucking aside the saliva soaked red napkin he's just spit out.

  "He can sense your mettle. That's something we want to keep as secret as possible." Lar stands up on shaky legs and holds his hand out for me.

  "Let's get you back to your room," Dee says, peering into my eyes and brushing some hair from my forehead. "They've got this, I promise you. Nobody can cross onto the castle grounds without permission from the King.” He pauses and grits his teeth. “Well, nobody but the Anti-Alice.”

  "Or the Knave?" I ask, but Dee shakes his head, and I let out a sigh of relief.

  "Just the King," he says, and then pauses. "Or the Queen."

  The way he looks at me, I know there's no doubt in his mind that one day, I will be the Queen of Hearts.

  Dee tucks me into bed next to Lar when we get back, but try as I might, I cannot stay awake.

  Guess I'm a boosted tea lightweight, huh?

  The only time I wake up that night is to check on my men.

  "Everyone's okay," Tee whispers, kneeling next to my bed and stroking hair from my forehead when I wake up in a blind panic, thrashing around and tangling the sheets up in the process. I have a full bed tonight, too, with the Caterpillar, the Cheshire Cat, the White Rabbit, Dee, and North.

  The bed is plenty big, at least.

  "You're sure?" I ask, panting and trying not to think about finding Fred in that dark alley, dead and bloody and alone. I'm not sure I'd survive that a second time.

  "Positive," he says, bathed in yellow and orange from the dying fire. His journal is open on the desk, so I figure he probably came back, showered, and starting writing—all without waking me up. "They left; it's over."

  "For now," I say, trying to figure out why those pieces of trash showed up in the first place. But my head is too full of sleep, and my hands are still shaky from my boosted tea. "But they must've come for a reason; they weren't just stopping in for tea."

  "Definitely not." Tee smiles at me and then moves to close the gap between us, kissing me with this soft, gentle sweetness that curls my toes. His wings unfold from his back in glorious folds, the dark feathers catching the moonlight, the chains falling to the floor. Waking my prince at midnight. It'd be like a fairy tale, if everything weren't drenched in blood. "A distraction, maybe?"

  He sighs as I lean back in the pillows and scoot to make some room on the edge of the bed, patting the mattress to invite him to lie next to me.

  After a second's hesitation, he climbs up, dressed in pajama pants and nothing else.

  I'm still wearing my bat dress, but it's ridden up to my hips, and it only takes a minute to kick my panties off.

  "What are you doing?" Tee whispers, but I just smile and roll onto my back, encouraging him to follow after me, so that he’s on top.

  Before you can say o frabjous day!, he's sliding into me and we're making love by moonlight.

  I wake the morning of the ball to find a pirate standing over my bed.

  "Lory?" I choke out, scrambling to sit up and swiping the drool from my face. My increasingly bright rainbow hair is stuck to the corner of my mouth. Oh, I must really look like the future Queen of Hearts now, huh? I’m hungover, slightly confused as to where I am or what’s going on, and now sporting a brand new tattoo on my freaking thigh—a tattoo made of skin. "What are you doing here?!"

  "I invited her to the ball," Dee says, sitting up, his hair scruffy but somehow still cute. Wish I could wake up with a playful pink in my cheeks and a mischievous grin hovering around my full, delicious mouth … fuck. I’ve been up all of two seconds and I’m ogling Dee again. Before I forget, I lean over and give him a quick kiss on the lips, freeing his wings from their cursed prison. He grins at me as I sit back, refocusing on Lory and blinking to clear the sleepy cobwebs from my vision. "Anyone from the Kingdom of Hearts is allowed to attend anyway."

  "They wouldn't give me a visa for Eaglet," Lory says with a loose shrug of her shoulders, and I remember vaguely the bandanna covered in diamonds he was wearing on The Long Tale. "Border control is tight right now." Lory adjusts her black tricorne hat—that's what a pirate hat is called, you know—and then plants her hands on her hips.

  Tee is standing behind and to the right of her, so I figure he's the one that let her in. Stretching, I lift my arms above my head, and curl my toes against a soft, fuzzy pillow tucked under the blankets. Wait.

  "Chesh!" I admonish, lifting up the covers to find the black and white striped cat purring and kneading the sheets near my toes. Before I can escape his reach, he flicks his little pink tongue out and licks my toes. "Shoo," I growl, pretending he's Dinah and grabbing his scruff. My little black asshole cat likes to sleep in my blankets and then attack me when I climb into bed. I'm used to this maneuver.

  I pull Chesh out by the scruff, but he shifts back into human form just as I'm dragging him from the blankets, landing on top of me with all of his beautiful muscles and that delicious fresh honey and black tea scent of his.

  "What the …" I start, but I find the words stuck in my throat, heart thundering like a herd of wild bandersnatch. That is, if bandersnatch even run in herds? I have no fucking clue. "Get off of me," I breathe, but the words don't come as bitchy or forceful as I intend them to. I haven't forgotten that I almost killed this guy a few days ago. Or that last night was a serious clusterfuck.

  "Yes, mistress," he purrs, the tags on his collar jangling as he leans in and licks the side of my face.

  "Should I go wait in the hall?" Lory asks, flicking some of her brunette braids over one shoulder. "You about to get it on in here?"

  "No, no," I snarl, scrambling out of bed and rubbing at my sleepy face with the heel of one hand. Looking around, I notice most of the men are missing. It’s just me, Chesh, and the twins left now. I suppose they’re all out preparing for the ball. I’d almost forgotten that tonight’s the night. "What time is it?"

  "Time to be up and about," she declares, dressed in brown breeches, a red peasant blouse, and black boots. Reminds me … I move over to my satchel, hanging on the hook near the door, and reluctantly pull out the outfit she lent me: corset and knives and all. "
You lazy assholes better start getting ready. Guests are already arriving."

  "Here," I offer up my borrowed clothes, but Lory waves them away with a hand covered in gold rings. They make a pretty contrast against her ebony skin.

  "Keep 'em. We got paid handsomely by the King to bring the best tea in the kingdom down the river. I can afford new ones." She grins at me with white-white teeth. "Plus, I got an in with the Queen. That makes me pretty special, don't you think?"

  "I'm not the Queen just yet. I won’t ever be if I have to spend much time around Brennin Red. I’m as liable to murder as marry him," I start as Tee offers up a cup of coffee and a muffin. Our hands brush together and we exchange a look. It very clearly says I know what you did in the dark, and I smile. If I close my eyes, I can still feel him sliding inside of me last night. Other than that, the night is pretty much a blur.

  "Yet," Lory repeats, turning, her long hair swaying against the backs of her calves. She moves over to the refreshments table and gets herself an EAT ME cookie, tucking it into her belt. There's a small wooden cabinet there as well that she opens, revealing several tiny glass bottles with FUCKING DRINK ME tags dangling off of them. Lory pockets two, and then turns back to face me, leaning her butt on the edge of the table. "You're not the Queen yet, but you will be."

  "So you already know I'm the …" I stop talking and she throws her head back with a raucous laugh. It's nice though, to hear someone so free and unrestrained. Sitting in this palace, I'm starting to feel fucking stifled.

  "The whole kingdom knows you're the Alice now," she says as Dee stumbles out of bed and knocks over a table with his wings. I don't think he's quite used to having them out all the time. Our eyes meet across the room as he flushes and does his best to fix it. Too bad the legs are broken into several pieces. I just smile, thinking of last night, the way he oh so carefully tucked me into bed.

  Lory snaps her fingers in front of my face, and I groan. I’m doing it again, the stupid teenager daydreaming thing. After last night’s nightmare, don’t I deserve it though?