Dane: Hollywood's Finest

by Wilde, Delilah

  "Ruby, you're not listening to me," said Jeff. I rolled my eyes.

  "That's true," I said. Jeff looked hurt. I tried not to feel too sorry for him. I mean, the man had made my life a living hell and cheated on me with my best friend in the world. But Jeff looked so pathetic that I couldn't help but apologize for my callousness, "I'm sorry, Jeff. I have a lot on my mind. So what's that you were saying about your story?"

  Jeff went into a long spiel about some man finding himself by sleeping with lots of women, before returning to the girl who had loved him all along. It sounded like utter garbage to me but I thought I'd be polite and keep my opinion to myself. Jeff seemed to like that as with every vaguely interested nod I gave he moved his chair closer to me.

  I could sense that Nate was looking at me now and I wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not. I wished that I had made more of an effort to look sexy. Trisha's friends were all so good looking, if I had to compete with them I couldn't see myself standing much of a chance. It was upsetting.

  The waitress arrived with our food. I had ordered satay skewers and I began to dig into them as soon as she put down my plate. Concentrating on my food seemed like a better option than listening to Jeff, or worse, watching Nate getting cozy with another girl.

  "Ruby, you're so rude! You never opened Nate's present!" said Trisha, suddenly. A metallic red package was sitting in front of me. I hadn't noticed it until now.

  "That's OK It's nothing much, really," he said. For what must have been the first time in his life, Nate Watson actually looked shy. It was adorable and made me want to kiss him even more than I already did.

  Trisha drew everyone's attention to her bracelet. It was a small, elegant piece with pink stones and a rose gold chain that sparkled just a bit. It was perfect for Trisha.

  "Look at what Nate got me in Paris. Isn't it pretty? He's the best cousin ever," she sang, smiling at Nate, "I have no idea how you're still single! Laura, isn't that crazy?"

  Laura nodded shyly. I reached out and took the box.

  "I'd prefer to open my presents on my own, if that's OK?" I said, putting it under the table with the others. Nate nodded.

  "Sure that's OK I just hope you like it."

  "I'm sure I will."

  I looked back at my satay and let my hair fall by my face, hoping that it would cover the scarlet color that I could feel my cheeks were now going. I could sense Jeff huffing beside me.

  "God, that guy really thinks he's great doesn't he," he said, poking me, "Didn't you say you were going out with him?"

  I shushed Jeff. Luckily, no one at the table seemed to be listening to him.

  "I said that, but I was lying because I wanted you to leave me alone. I just happened to think of Nate's name. I'm single, OK?" I knew that Jeff would interpret my horrified expression as embarrassment for lying to him. I was right.

  "Oh, I see. There's really no reason to be embarrassed, baby," he said.

  "Ruby," I quickly retorted. He nodded.

  "Of course, Ruby. You didn't even like being called baby when we were together. That's understandable though. I think I get you more than anyone else does. After all, we spent so much time together," he said. I kept nodding as I ate, hoping that if I agreed with him he wouldn't bother

  me too much.

  "And I know it must be scary, seeing as how you lost me last time. I know you're afraid that it will happen again. I guess we were both at fault and we both have things that we need to work on. But we can work on them together."

  "Mm hmm," I nodded, "That's great Jeff."

  I called over the waitress and asked for a glass of wine. The soda that I had been sipping all night just wasn't doing it for me anymore. Not with Jeff babbling shit in one ear and Trisha talking about how great Nate and Laura looked together in the other. I drank my glass quickly and followed it with a second one. The world suddenly seemed a little bit kinder.

  The waitresses took away our dinner plates and we ordered dessert. Laura was the type of girl who didn't eat dessert, I noted, wondering if Nate would like me better if I said no to the chocolate cake that looked so incredible. But fuck it, that didn't matter now. I ordered my cake. To my surprise, the waitresses appeared with a large birthday cake with twenty five candles on it, singing happy birthday. Everyone sang along, wish myself and Trisha the best and cheering us on as we blew out our candles. There was only one thing that I was wishing for and it made me feel silly, as I had already given it away so freely. I looked at Nate as I sat down once again and Trisha began to cut the cake up for everyone.

  When everyone was finished eating, Trisha gave Jeff a knowing look before standing up and tapping her spoon against the glass.

  "Hello everyone, and thank you so much for coming to my birthday dinner. And Ruby's birthday dinner. We are so happy to have you here and we've had an amazing night, full of incredible friends and family as well as beautiful presents. I'm sure I speak for Ruby too when I tell you that we are so grateful for your friendships," she grinned at me, “anyway, now we're gonna do some speeches.

  Ruby, would you like to go first?"

  I shook my head but people already had started to chant "Speech, speech speech!" demandingly, so it wasn't like I had much of a choice. It hated public speaking so much but I told myself that I was among friends, that I would be OK I stood up and cleared my throat.

  "Uh yeah, I would also like to thank everyone for being here and for the amazing presents. This is really an amazing time in both Trisha and my life so we're really happy that we could share this moment with you. Uh, oh yeah, I hope the next year is as amazing for you as I'm hoping it will be for me. You deserve all the happiness in the world and to find fulfillment, whatever that may mean to you," I said it all in one gabbled rush so I paused to take a deep breath, "Thanks for listening and have a great night."

  They all applauded me and I gave a little curtsy before sitting down.

  "That was great, Rubes," said Trisha, winking at me, "Now, is there anyone else here who has something to say? I'm sure we would both love to hear it."

  I looked around. A few people volunteered to speak but Trisha was looking directly at Jeff. Fucking hell, what kind of nonsense would he spew? Whatever it was would be the last thing I wanted to hear on my birthday. It had already been a shitty evening. I just wanted to go home and curl up with a tub of ice cream and some leftover birthday cake. Even so, I listened politely.

  Jeff didn't stand up. Instead, he turned to face me. There were a few chuckles of anticipation among Trisha's friends and I could see that Jeff was now incredibly nervous. What in god's name was going on?

  He fished a piece of paper out of his pocket and began to read from it. It was crumpled and covered with a lot of his tiny handwriting, as well as a few scribbles where he had crossed out his mistakes. He began to read from it as I looked around, bewildered.

  "Ruby, this speech is for you on your birthday. I can't believe that you've been on the planet for twenty five years already. I remember when I met you in college and how shy and nervous you were. Since then you've grown into a confident and sexy woman," someone gave a wolf whistle. I wanted the ground to swallow me up so I wouldn't have to listen to any more of this shit. I glanced at Nate and saw that he was laughing, "I realize now that I am so lucky to know you. Of course we have had our differences, our ups and downs and many arguments over the years. No couple is perfect."

  "We're not a couple," I said, but it came out as a whisper that no one seemed to hear.

  "I don't know where the future will take us. Fuck, I don't know where tomorrow will take us. But I do know this. I may not be a perfect man, but I know that I am without a doubt the perfect man for you. That's why," too my horror, Jeff got down on one knee and pulled out a ring, "I'm asking for your hand in marriage. Ruby Heron, will you marry me?"

  I looked around. Everyone was sitting forward in their seats as if they were witnessing something wildly exciting. Trisha was mouthing 'say yes' over and over again. Nate was the only o
ne who wasn't smiling, or even listening. He was sitting back in his seat, messing around with his smart phone. I looked back down at Jeff, who was staring up at me so earnestly. He really wanted this. My mouth was so dry that when I tried to get a word out a small croaking sound escaped my lips.

  "What was that?" Jeff asked, sounding faintly irritated now, "Was that a yes?"

  "What did she say?" asked Trisha.

  A chorus of 'what did she say' erupted among my dinner guests. I couldn't take it anymore. I grabbed my handbag and got up. "I'm sorry Jeff!" I said, before running out of the restaurant. I could hear the shocked sounds behind me, the new gossip mill opened for business. I didn't even care. I just had to get away.

  I found myself hyperventilating against a wall in the parking lot, in the shadows where I hoped no one would see me. I heard Trisha's voice calling out for me but she soon gave up and returned to her party.

  She'd planned this all along, I realized. She knew that Jeff was going to propose. That's why she said tonight would be my night. That's why she forced me to sit next to him. It all made sense now. I felt horrible for what I had just done but the idea of marrying Jeff made my stomach turn. It was better to humiliate him in front of a few dinner guests than at our wedding in front of a hundred or so wedding guests.

  "So, not gonna be Mrs Jeff then?" said a voice that I instantly recognized I turned around and saw Nate behind me, lighting a cigarette and smirking at me.

  "Oh god, this is just what I need now," I said, "Besides, I thought you were quitting."

  Nate shrugged and stubbed out the cigarette on the wall.

  "I am. I just like having an excuse to leave awkward situations. And boy, that party you just left.," Nate gave an impressed whistle, "It is the most awkward of awkward situations. That Jeff guy is actually crying. Like, full on sobbing. It's kind of funny, actually."

  I frowned, feeling the guilt weighing heavily on my chest.

  "You're so mean. I didn't want to hurt him. I just couldn't say yes when I know he's not the one for me," I said. Nate shrugged again, smirking mischievously.

  "Why feel bad? Isn't this the guy who screwed your best friend? No wait, excuse me. Isn't this the guy who had an emotional affair, which may or may not have involved screwing your best friend?" he asked. I hated when Nate was right. He always knew it too.

  "Yeah it is. But no one deserves that."

  The two of us stood against the wall, both reluctant to go back inside. Nate lit another cigarette but didn't smoke it. He just held it in his hand and watched the smoke rise from the end for a while.

  "Why didn't you call me?" I said softly. I regretted it as soon as the words came out but it had to be asked.

  "Because the last time we slept together you freaked out after. I figured that you don't want to be put through all that stress every time we have sex, so I thought it would be best to cut things off," he said, "Was I wrong?"

  I sighed and kicked a small rock away. That questioned seemed impossible to answer right now.

  "I don't know."

  Nate sighed now.

  "I'm guessing you don't know what you want either," he said.

  "I never do," I replied. There was a long silence before Nate began to chuckle. I nudged him. "What's so funny?" I insisted, annoyed that he would laugh at a time like this.

  "Nothing, really," he said, stifling his laughter with his hand, "Anyway, why don't I give you a ride home?"

  Nate

  Ruby only argued a little bit about getting on the bike in her pretty dress and sky high heels. In my opinion, she liked the bike, she just didn't want to admit it. She got on behind me and wrapped her arms tightly around my waist. That was one thing I loved about riding with that girl. The speed frightened her so much that she would hold me so tightly that it felt like she would never let go. I couldn't say that I didn't enjoy it.

  "This is so rude. Trisha is gonna kill me for leaving the party without saying goodbye," she said. I laughed at her logic.

  "Ruby, Trisha's probably gonna kill you for breaking Jeff's heart in front of a room of spectators. I mean, that was probably worse. She might let leaving without saying goodbye slip," I said. Ruby gave me a playful slap on the back.

  "Hey! You know I feel horrible about that! Don't make it worse," she said, "Now come on, let's get away from this shit hole."

  She didn't need to ask me twice. I revved up the engine and we made our way across town to her apartment block. I parked right outside in the same space I had the last time I dropped her off.

  Just like last time, she got off the bike first and looked at me expectantly.

  "Uh Nate," she said, swallowing nervously, "I hope this doesn't sound weird, but would you like to come up for coffee or a cup of tea or something? I'm kind of wired right now and I could use someone to talk to."

  I only needed to think for a split second before I agreed. I put down my helmet, got off of the bike and allowed Ruby to lead me up the steps that lead to her apartment. As we made her way up she seemed to be pretty embarrassed by the hallway, which was dirty and covered in graffiti. She was treating me as if I was far too good for a crappy place like this. Of course, now that I had money I wouldn't rent in a shitty apartment complex but just a few years back this place was like a palace to me.

  Ruby opened her apartment door and a small cat greeted us. I was never that interested in animals but this one was cute so I dutifully petted her as Ruby heated up the water for my coffee.

  "So, let's not talk about tonight. What have you been up to since I last saw you?" she asked, handing me a pink dotty mug of instant coffee that smelled like tar. I drank it anyway, to be polite.

  "Oh you know. I've been everywhere. We had a few stops in Asia. Then there was Paris and Berlin. And now I'm back here. How about you?" I asked. Ruby frowned, sitting down next to me on the couch.

  "I've been trying to focus on work. It's gone OK. The furthest I've gone was getting the bus to the next town over to get some new oil paints. They have them here, I just wanted to feel like I was going somewhere special," she said. The sadness in her voice was palpable. Had she really been that depressed without me? It seemed crazy that a woman could miss me so much. Especially a woman who insisted so vehemently that she shouldn't be with me.

  I drained the last of my terrible coffee and thanked Ruby for it. She put the mugs in the sink before returning to her spot on the couch next to me.

  "This was a shit birthday," she said, "Maybe the worse I've ever had." I looked at my watch. It was only ten pm.

  "It's not over yet," I said, "There's still time to make it a good one." Ruby looked up at me sadly.

  "I know. But like I said before a million times. It's wrong. We can't," I put my hand on her thigh, suddenly desperate to feel that smooth skin and she gave out a tiny moan, "Please don't. I can't. Not now."

  Thought I wanted so badly to touch her, to make her feel good, I knew I could only do it if she wanted me to. I removed my hand.

  "OK. It's your choice. I should probably get going anyway," I said, getting up. Ruby got up too and for one amazing moment I thought that she was going to leap into my arms and kiss me. All she did was reach her hand out to me.

  "No, please don't go. Not yet!" she said desperately, "I can't go another month without hearing from you. It's not fair. I know that I don't know what I want, well not yet. But I know that I want you in my life."

  I took a deep breath and nodded as I let her words sink in. I wasn't sure what she meant but I knew that I wanted her in my life too.

  "I promise you, I'll keep in touch this time. At the very least, we'll be friends," I forced myself to smile but the idea of being friends with Ruby as she dated idiots like Jeff infuriated me. Her eyes lit up. I had obviously said exactly what she wanted to hear.

  To my surprise, Ruby gave me a big hug. It felt strange having her body pressed so closely against mine without being able to caress it the way that I so desperately wanted to. Still, I went with it and we had a brief but a
ffectionate embrace.

  "I'm gonna go now, but we'll see each other again soon," I said. I reached into the pocket and of my jacket and handed her my present, which she had obviously forgotten about, "Happy birthday, Ruby."

  I couldn't stop myself from giving her a goodbye kiss. Just a little one.

  Chapter Five

  Ruby

  Nate had given me a beautiful, marquise cut ruby on a silver pendant for my birthday. I put it around my neck and looked at myself in the mirror, wondering if he had chosen it himself or gotten an assistant to do it for him. Either way, it was the most beautiful and expensive piece of jewelry I had ever owned in my life. I didn't want to take it off, but knowing my penchant for losing and damaging important things, I put it away and vowed to save it for very special occasions.

  I was emotionally exhausted from my birthday dinner and fell asleep on the couch within a few minutes of putting the necklace away. When I woke up, my voice mail was once again crammed with messages from concerned friends and family members. Trisha left ten messages, each of them asking me if I was crazy seeing as I turned down a man as incredible as Jeff. Maybe I was, but if I was I didn't care anymore. The only person I called back was my mother, who I assured that I was fine and not emotionally damaged after being embarrassed by Jeff in front of so many people.