by L. C. Davis
"I told him I didn't want to see him anymore," Angel said, growing ill again at the memory.
"Why would you do that? I've seen you together. I thought you were beginning to trust him."
"That's just it. I don't want to. I had to end it, before we were both in too deep, before --"
"Before you fell in love?" Angel asked in a knowing tone.
Yuri stared at him. He couldn't argue. "How did you...?"
"How did I know?" Angel asked with a sad smile. "Because I was in your position once. I'd experienced the worst things an alpha could be, and I promised myself that if I ever got my freedom, I'd never hand it over to another man. Especially not an alpha."
"But you fell in love with Mitchell."
"And that terrified me more than anything else," Angel murmured. "That's the price we pay for choices we didn't get to make. Abuse leaves scars on your heart, but sometimes the only way to heal them is to open them up again and let all the pain and poison out. Love heals, but it's a hell of a process."
Yuri grimaced. "That's not a very poetic analogy."
Angel laughed. "Well, I am a Mountain Ridge wolf."
"He'll never forgive me for what I said," Yuri murmured.
"Well, what did you say?"
"The truth." Yuri hesitated. "Most of it. I wanted to push him away before it was too late."
"I think that ship sailed a long time ago," Angel said gently, touching Yuri's hand. "You need to talk to him, Yuri. Tell him how you feel, not just the parts of the truth you think he needs to hear. Give him the chance to prove he's capable of handling it, and I think he'll surprise you. Besides, I'm sure he could use some good news right about now."
"What do you mean?"
Angel hesitated. "You don't know about Benjamin's father?"
"No," Yuri said, leaning forward. "Is he alright?"
Angel sighed. "Looks like you're both going to have to learn how to be honest with each other. Yuri, Heinrich is in the hospital and he has been for a while. I just assumed Benjamin would have told you. It's all over the Council."
Yuri's heart lurched at the thought of the kindly Alpha falling ill. "Is he going to be alright?"
"They don't know," Angel murmured, a sad look coming over his face. "He's not doing well. He had a stroke because of the drugs they were using to treat his cancer, and from what I've heard, they're having a hard time finding an alternative treatment."
"Benjamin didn't say anything," Yuri said, a tear slipping down his cheek. He could guess why. The alpha had been trying to give him space. Either he thought telling Yuri would put undue pressure on him or he simply didn't trust that the omega could provide him with the comfort he most surely needed. Either way, Yuri couldn't blame the nausea that crawled through him on the baby this time. "I have to go see him," he said, throwing off the covers.
"You're sick," Angel protested.
"If Dennis is right, then being away from Benjamin is why I'm sick."
Angel considered that for a moment before nodding. "That's a good point. Let me call him at least, and ask him to come here."
Yuri shook his head. "No," he said, finding himself much stronger than he expected when he made an attempt to stand. His body was still weak, but his heart was more settled than it had been in a long time. "Benjamin has been pursuing me this whole time. He's given me space, but no matter what I do to push him away, he's there. This time, I need to be the one who goes to him."
Chapter 28
BENJAMIN
For the first time since he had been there with Yuri, Benjamin found himself sitting on the beach, watching the sun set over the water. He could see the faintest edges of the mountain ridge in the distance, but the pull on his heart wasn't as strong as it usually was. As the days had passed, he had been plagued with doubts for the first time since meeting the omega. Maybe it was possible for a mate bond to fade if it went unreciprocated for too long. Maybe there were supposed to be instant fireworks, an undeniable spark that left no room to question the whims of destiny. That certainly seemed to be the case with Zane and Lita.
He sighed, skipping a rock across the water's surface. It was nearly dark, but he couldn't bring himself to go home. He had been unofficially banned from the hospital, which was his mother's attempt to get him to stay home and rest. His father had been awake that morning, and he had seemed in better spirits than usual, but Benjamin knew that meant nothing after experiencing just how much things could change in a moment's time.
Going home was inevitable, especially since his betas had taken his delegation and run with the chance to give him the time they thought he needed. It was just a matter of which home he went to. More often than not, he had been sleeping in his old room at his parents' house. With Thomas' help, he had built the two-story he owned on the outskirts of the village with his own hands, but these days it felt more like a mausoleum for a dream that just wasn't meant to be. He had always imagined that at least one of the four extra rooms would be occupied by a pup by that point in his life, and that the master suite would be decorated to his mate's tastes. It was one thing to walk into an empty home when he had been officially single and another to feel the ghost of an omega who had never even stepped foot past the threshold.
Exhaustion coupled with some unknown urge pushed him to walk back in the direction of the village, but he kept walking past his family's house and slowed when his own came into view. There was an SUV he didn't recognize in the driveway, but it was the familiar scent that caught his attention.
"Yuri...?" He rushed up the steps and opened the front door, his heart surging with warmth at the sight of the omega on his couch, even as his thoughts whirled with confusion. Even more bewildering was the fact that the Mountain Ridge Alpha himself was leaning against the wall, sipping the brandy Benjamin kept stocked for company.
"I know you country wolves are quaint and all, but you're really gonna have to start locking your doors now that you're a family man," said Mitchell.
Benjamin looked between them, at a loss for words for a moment. "You...why?" That was all that would come out, and far more eloquent than his thoughts.
"I'm sorry. I tried to call, but you weren't answering your phone," Yuri said, wringing his hands as he stood. The omega was a bit paler than usual, but every bit as beautiful in person as he was in Benjamin's dreams and every waking thought.
"It's fine," Benjamin said, afraid to blink and chase the vision of him away. "I'm glad you're here, but...why are you here?" he asked, looking at Mitchell. "Both of you."
"I'll let you two talk things over," said Mitchell. "Mind if I give myself the tour?"
"Sure," Benjamin said warily, watching as the other alpha ascended his staircase. He turned back to Yuri, still in a state of disbelief. His confusion took a backseat to concern for the moment. "Are you alright? You look tired."
"I'm fine now," Yuri said softly, stepping forward. "The nurse at the compound was right. I started feeling better the closer I got to you."
"Nurse?" Benjamin asked, convinced he had somehow fallen asleep for an entire segment of his life while the world continued around him. The best segment, if Yuri's presence was any indication. The only pity was that he had missed out on it.
Yuri gulped. "I'm getting ahead of myself. Benjamin, I...I don't know how to say this or how you'll react, so I'll just say it. I'm pregnant."
Benjamin struggled to process the words. None of it seemed real, but the omega's announcement was downright unfathomable. "You're what?"
"I'm pregnant," Yuri repeated, pressing a hand against his stomach, as if for emphasis. The omega did look a bit softer than usual, now that Benjamin was paying attention, but it was hardly a noticeable difference at first glance. The change in his scent was equally subtle, but it was there.
The surge of hope in his chest was immediately soured by doubt cast by Yuri's last words to him. "You won't be the last." Just because Yuri was pregnant didn't mean it was Benjamin's, of course. His wolf raged in protest at the mere idea of i
t being anyone else's, but his logical mind knew it was a possibility. "Mine?" he asked, his voice hoarse with apprehension.
Yuri winced. "Yes. Benjamin, what I said before was only partly true," he began in earnest. "There's no one else at Mountain Ridge, and there hasn't been anyone else since I met you. I was afraid if I didn't end things, you'd eventually come to your senses and realized you don't really want me. There are so many things about you, about the way you make me feel, that terrify me, but when I found out about your father and the baby, I realized what a horrible mistake I'd made."
Benjamin frowned, struggling to make sense of the words tumbling from the omega's lips. Yuri's words had raised far more questions than answers, but he forced himself to replay them and sift out one thought at a time. "How did you find out about my father?"
"Angel told me," Yuri murmured, stepping forward to take his hand. Benjamin's wolf purred at the touch, but he wouldn't allow himself to enjoy it. Not until he knew whether it stemmed from genuine affection or obligation. "Why didn't you?"
"I was going to," Benjamin admitted.
Realization dawned on Yuri's soft features, followed immediately by guilt. "But I didn't give you the chance," he offered, his lips quivering. "I'm so sorry, Benjamin."
"It's alright," he said gently. "I'm alright, but those things you said had to come from somewhere. I want you here, more than anything. Don't think that I don't, but I want you here for the right reasons. Because you want to be."
"But I do," Yuri insisted, squeezing his hand. "I thought I was protecting you, Benjamin. I know I lied to you and I haven't given you any reason to trust me, but please believe me when I say I thought that pushing you away was the best thing I could do for you."
"Why?" Benjamin asked, afraid to take solace in the omega's words. There were two sides to everything, and omegas were no exception. With their emotional gifts and empathy came the potential for manipulation as well. Usually it was in the service of preserving the peace or protecting someone's feelings rather than any selfish end, but it was dangerous nonetheless.
Yuri's face fell and Benjamin could feel the emotions around him like a shroud, but one emotion in particular was winning out. "Shame," Yuri said, echoing Benjamin's own thoughts. "I was ashamed of my past."
Benjamin led Yuri over to the couch, gently pushing him to sit since he didn't seem quite as strong as he had a moment ago. "I'm listening. I want to understand."
Yuri took a deep breath, but it trembled on the way past his lips. "There was some truth in what I said before, about you not being my first."
Benjamin's wolf bristled at the reminder, but he kept it in check, listening in patient silence.
"Some of the packs I lived in before coming here were alright," Yuri said softly. "Others weren't. There were alphas who viewed me as expendable and they used me however they saw fit."
As the omega's words fit a few more pieces into the alpha's understanding of his mysterious past, it wasn't just Benjamin's wolf that raged. The thought of anyone laying a hand on his omega under any circumstances, never mind nonconsensually, was enough to set him on a war path. He was dangerously close and the only thing that held him back was the knowledge that Yuri needed him there more than he needed vengeance at the moment. There would be time for that later, but Yuri's needs had to come before his own, especially then.
"I'm so sorry." It was all he could trust himself to stay, but the words still came out rough and stilted.
Yuri looked up under heavy lashes, his eyes full of doubt. "I was afraid you wouldn't want me if you knew I wasn't a virgin like an omega is supposed to be in your pack."
Benjamin frowned. "Yuri, how could I not want you? Especially because of something that was stolen from you." His voice grew rough, so he cleared his throat and tried again. "I love you. I'm only sorry I couldn't have found you sooner, to protect you from that."
Hope flickered on the omega's face, but he worried at his bottom lip. "Are you sure? There are other omegas. Better omegas than me, gentler and kinder... We're still not mated. You don't have to be with me just because I'm carrying your pup."
"The hell I don't," Benjamin scoffed. "But that isn't why I want to be with you. And Yuri, I wanted to wait to tell you this until later because I knew it would put pressure on you to come back before you were ready, but you are my mate."
It was the omega's turn to be confused. "What?"
"I've known for a while now," Benjamin said gently, taking Yuri's hand in his. "The more time that passes, the more I'm sure. I don't know why you don't feel it the way I do, but it doesn't change what I feel. What I know. You're mine," he said, kissing the back of Yuri's hand. "The fact that you're having my pup is just confirmation of the bond that's always been there. Maybe we were both just too stubborn to see it at first."
"But I feel it, too," Yuri protested, leaning in. Benjamin searched his eyes and wanted to believe the longing in them was real, but he couldn't. It didn't matter. The moment the omega had come into his life, his own feelings had ceased to matter nearly as much as Yuri's wellbeing. He had hoped that with time, Yuri would come to love him without obligation, but it seemed the Spirits had other plans. His parents had turned a marriage of obligation on both sides into a loving relationship. Surely there was enough love for the omega in his heart to do the same over time. Maybe Yuri meant his words, or at least thought he did, but Benjamin was set on maintaining the course he had set long ago. It would be harder to give Yuri space now that there were traditions that had to be honored. They would have to be mated and Yuri would have to be marked as soon as possible, for the sake of the baby and for his own health, but Benjamin would find a way to manage his own emotional expectations.
Even as the omega collapsed in his arms, breathing a sigh of relief, Benjamin reminded himself that it wasn't safe or fair to project his own certainty onto Yuri. He had made that mistake once already. Besides, he thought. Having Yuri in his arms was more than enough of a gift. Winning his heart was another matter entirely.
Chapter 29
YURI
Waking up in the guest room alone hadn't exactly been in Yuri's plans for the morning after he had professed his feelings for Benjamin, but he decided he should be grateful he hadn't been relegated to Benjamin's parents' house. That really would have felt like being back at square one, but Yuri knew he would only have had himself to blame.
After all he had said--and all the things he had said much too late-- it would take time to build Benjamin's trust. He could feel the alpha's distance, and the fear that inspired it. Benjamin was giving him what he had always wanted: time and space. Now Yuri understood why they said to be careful what you wished for. The universe might eventually align to grant that wish, but things had changed enough in that process to turn the answers to his prayers into a curse.
The sun still wasn't quite up when Yuri dragged himself out of bed. He showered quickly and slipped back into the T-shirt Benjamin had given him to sleep in. It was clean but it still smelled like the Alpha, as did everything else in the house, and it did far more to quell Yuri's morning sickness than any of the medicine they had given him at the hospital. Dennis' theory seemed to be correct.
Yuri headed downstairs, relieved to find that he had woken up before Benjamin. Either that or the Alpha was up even earlier than usual. Yuri cracked a bowl full of eggs and whisked them up into a passable omelet, deciding that a trip to the grocery store was in order if he was going to be cooking for Benjamin on a regular basis. He hoped he would have the chance.
By the time he had served up two omelets and was pouring a couple of glasses of juice, Benjamin came shuffling into the kitchen. Yuri had only seen him once in the morning, and he had been sleeping peacefully. He couldn't help but smile at the sight of the Alpha, usually so self-assured and put together, with rumpled clothing and half-open eyes. Benjamin yawned and glanced at the table with a look of surprise. "I was going to make you breakfast."
"Don't be silly," said Yuri, pulling Benjamin by
the hand over to the table. "You've got enough to worry about with your duties and taking care of your dad."
"You're sick," Benjamin protested, collapsing into his chair.
"I'm feeling much better," Yuri admitted. "Better than I have in a long time." Since he had left the Cold Water Pack, he realized.
"That's good," Benjamin said, taking a bite of the omelet. His eyes widened. "So that's what they're supposed to taste like."
Yuri laughed. "Surely your mother makes them."
"Between you and me, she's better at planning parties than cooking," he said, wincing. "But don't tell her that."
"I'll take the secret to my grave," Yuri teased, sitting next to Benjamin. "Thanks for letting me stay."
"It's your house," Benjamin murmured, taking a sip of his juice. "I built it for my mate. I'm rarely here as it is."
"You built it?" Yuri asked in disbelief.
"You sound surprised," Benjamin said with a chuckle. "I tried my hand at carpentry before I decided finance was more my speed."
"Wow," Yuri breathed. "That's impressive." As if he needed another reason to feel like Benjamin was out of his league.
"I did have help," Benjamin admitted, looking him over. "I'd like you to see the doctor later. Just to make sure everything is alright with you and the baby."
"Don't you have work to do?"
"My betas can manage without me for a couple of days, while I get you settled in."
"That's sweet of you," Yuri murmured.
"I figure I can take you to the store to pick up some things after the appointment," he offered. "Then I'll drop you off here to rest and unpack. I can have Lita come over to stay with you while I'm at the hospital."
"Are you visiting your dad?"
"I try to go over every day at noon," Benjamin said, glancing up at the clock on the wall. "I can push it back a bit today."
"Can I go with you?"
Benjamin hesitated. "I wouldn't ask you to do that."
