Forever & Always (Always & Forever Book 2)

by Crossley, Lauren

  If Jake knew the truth… he would kill us both.

  Jake goes off to work the next morning, leaving me in bed with a note on his pillow.

  I didn’t want to wake you because you looked so peaceful. I’ll be home early tonight so we can talk about what happened then. I just want you to know how sorry I am and how much I love you…

  Always & Forever

  Jake.

  I fight back the tears, gasping for air as my guilt threatens to consume me. I stare at the note for a long time, wondering what Jake would do to me if he found out about me sneaking off to meet with Callum.

  It’s not like anything has actually happened between us but Jake wouldn’t see it like that, he would still view it as a betrayal.

  I suppose it is… my subconscious taunts me, me into action.

  I throw the covers off me and jump out of bed, eager to distract myself and get ready to I can meet up with my friend. I’m desperate to get out of this apartment and get some air, anxious to put some distance between myself and Jake.

  I enter the coffee shop where Callum and I have been choosing to meet up in half an hour later. He’s waiting for me already and is seated by the window.

  He waves me over, smiling at me warmly as I approach him.

  “Hi, Beautiful.”

  “Hi.” I reply lightly, trying my best to sound cheerful. “How are you?”

  “I’m good now that you’re here.” He says, standing to greet me so he can place a kiss on my cheek.

  I try my best not to react to it, struggling to fight the instinctive response my body has for him.

  “Oh, really?” I challenge him, somewhat flirtatiously.

  “Really.”

  “Let me just grab myself a drink and I’ll be back in a second.” I assure him, reaching for my bag so I can take my purse up to the counter.

  “I’ll go, you take a seat.”

  He comes back a few minutes later, placing my steaming cup of coffee on the table before me.

  “So how are you?” He enquires, watching me closely.

  “I’m ok.” I lie, forcing myself to smile in an attempt to convince him.

  “Don’t try and fool me, Bethany. I know you too well.”

  “Do you?”

  “You know I do.”

  He speaks with certainty, refusing to tear his blue eyes away from my own. His sandy blonde hair makes his piercing eyes stand out even more, complimenting his features and highlighting his handsome appearance.

  “Things are just a bit difficult at the moment.” I divulge, reluctant to go into any more detail than that.

  “Still?”

  “It’s only been a few months, Callum. These things take time.”

  “Bethany, he’s had months to try and fix things between the two of you. I can’t understand why he isn’t fighting for you.”

  “He is in his own way.” I reply curtly, remembering the heartfelt conversation Jake and I had the night before after the fight.

  “How? How is he fighting for your relationship?”

  I say nothing and remain silent, taking a sip of my drink to avoid looking at Callum.

  “Last night I followed him.” I blurt out, surprised by my own admission.

  “You did what?”

  “Jake’s sister found out where he’s been going.” I reveal, glancing out the window at the children playing outside.

  “And…?”

  “I don’t know if I should say anything else.” I tell him, pondering my dilemma out loud.

  “Baby, you know you can trust me. I won’t say anything.”

  He looks so sincere, reaching across the table to take hold of my hand. I moisten my lips and notice how his gaze drops towards my mouth, staring at it intently.

  “He’s been fighting.” I sigh, deciding to be honest with Callum.

  “What do you mean?”

  “Underground fighting or bare-knuckle fighting, whatever the hell it’s called.” I explain, folding my arms across my chest. “Jake’s been doing it for months.”

  “Are you serious? What kind of psycho would even get involved with something like that?”

  “Don’t speak about him that way!” I chastise him, readying myself to leave.

  “Bethany, wait. I’m sorry, I really am.” He apologises, grabbing hold of my wrist when I stand up. “I just can’t believe you would go somewhere like that. It must have been dangerous.”

  “It was.”

  “Why? Did someone hurt you?”

  “They tried.” I admit, lowering my gaze as well as my voice. “Jake’s opponent somehow found his way into his room and found me alone. He was drunk and pissed off, looking for revenge.”

  “My God… he didn’t…?” Callum’s voice trails off, resistant when it comes to completing his sentence.

  “He tried but Jake found me just in time.” I whisper, contemplating what might have happened if he hadn’t. “It brought back all those memories I thought I’d buried… memories from the night I was attacked.”

  I told Callum about what happened shortly after we started meeting up again. I didn’t plan to but found him so easy to talk to, it just slipped out.

  “Bethany, I’m so sorry. I wish I could have been there for you.”

  “Please don’t be sorry.” I reply, smiling weakly.

  “I have to admit I was pretty surprised when I received your message so late last night, especially when you asked to see me.”

  Callum leans forward in his seat, resting his elbows on the table’s surface. His sky blue T-shirt reveals his toned arms and athletic physique, capturing my attention without even trying.

  “I’m sorry about that. I sent it as soon as Jake and I got home last night.” I tell him, trying my best to distract myself from how good looking Callum is.

  He’s always been handsome, even in college. I remember there being so many girls who were envious of our friendship, wondering why he chose to spend so much time with me over anyone else. I suppose I never really gave my feelings a chance to develop, especially when I was forced to leave College because of my overbearing father.

  This resulted in Callum and I losing touch for two years, believing the other person had moved on and forgotten all about the friendship we once shared. We didn’t see one another again until several months ago and it was completely unexpected. I was waiting for Jake when Callum spotted me, absolutely stunned to find me again after so much time spent apart.

  “And where is he today?” Callum asks, forcing me to pay attention once more.

  “Jake? He’s working at the bar this afternoon, that’s why I was free to meet up so much earlier than usual.”

  “I see.”

  I watch him reach for his phone and type out a response to the text message he just received. My curiosity is piqued when he fails to mention who it is, prompting me to ask the following question.

  “What are your plans for the rest of the day?”

  “Nothing much.” He says, sliding his phone into his back pocket. “I might go out with a few of the guys later on and watch some football or something.”

  “That sounds like fun.”

  “There won’t be any girls there, Bethany.” He adds, observing my reaction.

  “That’s none of my business.” I retort sharply, narrowing my eyes at him in annoyance.

  “I only mentioned it because you didn’t look too happy when I told you what my plans were.”

  “You’re imagining things, Callum.”

  He sighs with frustration, rubbing the centre of his forehead to ease some of the tension.

  “When are you going to stop fighting this?” He asks, choosing to ignore me.

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  “Yes, you do.” He says, lowering his voice so no one else can hear us. “You know exactly what I’m talking about, Bethany.”

  “Callum, you know I’m with Jake.” I remind him impatiently. “I’m not going to betray him.”

  “It wouldn’t
be a betrayal if you ended things with him first.”

  “And why would I do a thing like that?”

  “Because he’s making you unhappy.”

  “I never said that!” I exclaim loudly, rising to my feet with indignation.

  “Please sit down, I’m sorry.” He apologises, taking hold of my wrist so he can trying and coax me back down.

  “You need to stop this, Callum. You need to stop trying to come between what I have with Jake or we can’t see each other anymore.”

  I’m being serious and mean every word, hoping my statement will be enough to convey my sincerity.

  “Ok, ok. I’ll cut it out. I promise you.” He assures me, conceding at once.

  “The reason I got in touch with you in the first place was because I needed someone to talk to. You know how messed up I was during my pregnancy and after the termination.”

  “I know all of this already and I don’t blame you for it.”

  Callum reaches across the table, tracing circles on the back of my hand with his thumb. He used to do this for me every time we met up throughout the time I was pregnant. It was one of the only things that managed to calm me down and the gesture reminds me of the time when he was the only one I could turn to.

  The familiarity of it frightens me because it makes me want more. I find myself craving things I have no right to and pull away from him, desperate to put some space between us so I can think and get my head together.

  “I should be getting back.” I tell him, standing up from the table. “Jake will be home soon.”

  “You know where I am if you need anything.”

  “Thanks, Callum.”

  We leave the coffee shop together, lingering outside for a few moments before we say goodbye. I’m half way down the street when I receive a new message on my phone and I glance down, surprised to see Callum’s name flashing up on the screen.

  You got in touch with me for a reason, Bethany. You’re not happy with him and it’s only a matter of time before you figure that out for yourself.

  You and I are going to happen.

  Callum.

  I come to a standstill and re-read his message, wondering how the hell I’m supposed to respond to something like that. He’s always been certain that it’s only a matter before something happens between us and what I hate the most is knowing that he’s right.

  It’s inevitable… and that’s what scares me.

  Jake's possessive ways and intense nature used to scare me but now... I don't know anything different. I've become so used to raging fires, volcanic disruptions and earth shattering amounts of heartache. He's still the man I fell in love with but I no longer recognise the girl that Jake rescued several months ago. I don't know where to find her or how I'm supposed to start searching for the girl I used to be. The truth is... I'm lost and while Jake wasn't looking, someone else might have found me...

  Chapter Four

  The apartment feels so empty when I make it back. I’m not used to having the place to myself during the day and it feels strange with Jake not being here.

  I wander in and out of each room without purpose, trying to sort out the confusion in my head. It’s times like this when I miss my Gran the most. She would have been the ideal confidante for something like this and I still miss her terribly.

  I miss my mum as well but know I can’t risk making contact with her. I can’t chance my father founding out about it and discovering where I live. I haven’t seen or heard from him since the night I left home, the same night that Jake put him in the hospital.

  I thought it would be a brand new start when I left home… except it wasn’t. We faced the trauma of a termination as soon as we moved in together and we’ve been existing as two separate people ever since.

  Jake spent most of his time at work and I spent each day indoors. Carla is at college now but she would drop in on occasion to see how I was. She’s been a good friend to me over the last few months but she doesn’t know about Callum. I know her loyalties are rightfully with her brother and I can’t trust her not to tell him about it.

  I’ve been forced to consider that my newfound feelings for Callum are down to the fact that I feel so isolated from Jake. He put so much distance between us after the abortion, refusing to acknowledge what had happened or the sadness which consumed me. Our relationship suffered and now I’m left unsure if either one of us has the strength to repair what has been so badly damaged.

  His anger has no limits and it frightens me. I can’t even bring myself to think about what he would do if he found out that I’ve been meeting Callum in secret. Jake gets so jealous and he refused to believe that Callum simply wanted a platonic friendship with me when we found each other again. There’s no way he’s going to trust me if I tell him that nothing has been going on between us.

  Jake gets home a couple of hours later, finding me in the bedroom where I’ve been taking a nap for the last hour or so. I’m still pretty tired from going to bed so late last night and the boredom from being on my own caused me to retire to our bedroom.

  “How come you’re in here?” “Are you ok?”

  “I was just feeling tired so decided to take a nap.”

  “You sure you’re alright?”

  “I’m fine.” “How was work?”

  “Busy.” “There was a function on so we were rushed off our feet. I’m glad I don’t have to go back in tonight.”

  “How’s your hands? Do they hurt?”

  “They’re fine, I promise. I took some painkillers this morning and kept them bandaged up since last night.”

  “Do they need changing?”

  “I can do that myself, baby.”

  “Do… do you want to talk about what happened?”

  “Not really.” “I’m scared I won’t be able to control myself if I start thinking about it again.”

  “Ok.”

  “There is just one thing I need to know.”

  “What’s that?”

  “He didn’t… he didn’t touch you, did he?”

  “Not like that, no. I was terrified that was what he had in mind though.”

  “I’m sure it was.” “That son of a bitch has been trying to double-cross me for years. I guess losing the fight was enough to tip him over the edge.”

  “I’m just thankful that you found us just in time…”

  “Thank God it didn’t take me too long to find Carla.”

  “Where was she?”

  “She spotted a couple of friends from college or school or whatever and stupidly decided to leave the room I told her to stay in. She wasn’t far away but I still went mad with her for putting you in danger by forcing me to leave you.”

  “It wasn’t her fault, Jake.”

  “Let’s not think about it anymore.” “I decided to stop fighting, if that’s what you still want from me.”

  “You know it is.”

  “Then it’s over. I won’t step foot in the ring again, not if it means putting you at risk.”

  “You know I didn’t want to go there last night, Jake. It was Carla’s idea but she was only trying to help us.”

  “I know that now. She explained things to me and made me realise how stupid I’ve been.”

  “How… how do you mean?”

  “Bethany, I’ve failed you these past few months and I’ll never be able to explain how sorry I am for that. I should have been there for you and I wasn’t.”

  “You were in pain… it’s understandable.”

  “And so were you… God, when I think how badly I’ve behaved and how hateful I’ve been to you, it makes me despise my own reflection.”

  “Please don’t say that, I can’t bear it.”

  “Let me… let me make it up to you.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Come on, Bethany. It’s been months.” “It’s been months since you let me touch you.”

  “That’s because I thought you hated me.”

  “Sweetheart, I could never hate you. I’m m
adly in love with you and I always have been. It drives me insane when I think about all the time we’ve wasted these past couple of months.”

  “I thought I’d lost you…”

  “Never.”

  He takes hold of my hand, pulling me to my feet before he lifts me up into his arms. My legs wrap around his waist and my arms circle his neck, drawing out mouths even closer.

  “You are mine.” He growls directly into my ear, walking forwards until my back meets with the wall behind me. “You’ve always been mine and you will be forever. Bethany… if you don’t understand that by now then it means you don’t understand me. No matter what you do, no matter how hard you try to push me away... I won’t let it happen. I can’t let you go. I just can’t. You are the one thing in this world that matters to me and I am never, ever going to give up on that. You belong to me and I’m going to make sure you never forget it.”

  He towers above me, penetrating my soul with his smouldering brown eyes. His thumb slowly makes its way across my bottom lip before he slides the tip of it into my mouth. My lips automatically wrap around it, my tongue swirling around him as I bite down on the pad of his thumb. I suddenly snap out of it when I recognise the intensity behind Jake’s gleaming gaze.

  “Jake... don’t do this.” I plead with him, struggling to fight the indescribable arousal that’s already building up inside of me.

  I don’t want our first time together in so long to be like this. It shouldn’t be about him proving I belong to him or marking his territory… it should stem from love and our need to feel united once more.

  “Don’t do what?” He taunts me, invading my personal space by lowering his lips towards my own.

  He’s breathing heavily and I can feel his heart hammering against his chest. I deliberately try to ignore my instincts which is screaming at me to give in to his demands and surrender myself to him.

  “Don’t torture me.” I beg him, fighting the arousal which is already building up inside of me. “I know I belong to you. I know you have no intention of letting me go but you don’t have to prove anything to me.”

  He glowers at me when I go quiet and the fury in his eyes causes them to glimmer. The moonlight is peeping in through the window behind me, highlighting his masculine features and magnificence.