A Stag in the Shadows

by S E Turner

  'Yes, that one, why is it so valuable?'

  Philipe leaned in closer to the bars. 'One day many months ago now, I overheard two guards speaking.'

  Cornelius leaned in to hear the story better.

  'I heard them saying how Hezekiah was a nomad, travelling to find his fortune in the kingdoms,' he whispered lower. 'Some say he was the devil's advocate...I believe he was just a nomad.'

  Cornelius smiled, for he sensed the good heart in the old man.

  'It seems that the book was found in a stream, somewhere in the forest. It had probably been there for some time, but it was still intact. Hezekiah retrieved it, cleaned it up and read it from beginning to end. I do not know what the contents are. But the guards said it changed him, and it was the book that gave him the desire to create this place.'

  'So the book made him a bad person?"

  Cornelius heard the sigh on the other side of the bars.

  'I do not know for sure. I sometimes think these things are meant for the good, but in the wrong hands...' his voice trailed off.

  The conundrum tired him and he dozed again. His thoughts took him back to what he had just been through. How, for the past six months, he had been chained, starved and beaten. He had lived in the dark and ordered to work for most the day for a morsel of food. He had barely spoken to anyone, the guards had tried to strip him of his dignity. He was like the falcon, tethered in darkness and kept at starvation so he would respect and honour the master. But he had done that to Namir. He had starved him and beaten him. He had kept him under lock and key whilst he demanded more knowledge and more power. He couldn't bear it. He shook his head from side to side, trying to free himself from the image. He was screaming at the voices and the pictures in his head.

  But they wouldn't let go.

  He saw his former self; a lone disfigured vagrant, hunched over a weak fire, with a tattered leather-bound book at his side, skinning a rabbit and planning his revenge. His old self would have hunted the perpetrators down—the ones that had tried to kill him—tried to overthrow him. He would have hounded them until they were all dead—every single one of them—becoming even more bitter and depraved in the process.

  Now, with Saskia at his side, and six months hardship as a terrible memory—he wanted redemption, he wanted forgiveness; he wanted to show everyone that he had changed. He wasn't like these monsters, these rulers that destroyed the very heart of a man though avarice. He wasn't the evil tyrant that everyone thought he was. No, he had to do something, and he had to do it fast, to ease his troubled mind.

  Chapter Thirty-Eight

  She saw him awake and handed him a plate of food and a flagon of water.

  'Are you okay?' she looked concerned. She had seen him thrashing around in his sleep.

  'Not really.'

  'What's wrong?' she asked.

  'Demons. A past. Bad decisions. Wrong assumptions. They have all come back to haunt me.'

  'What haunts you dear friend. Tell me what worries you, it might ease your burden?'

  'It's a long story Saskia. At the end of it, you may not want to know me.' His face was long and tired.

  She tore at the meat from the cooked rabbit and wiped away the fat running down her chin.

  'You saved my life back there dear friend. Whatever happened to you in the past, has surely been redeemed. But tell me your story. I really want to know.'

  'I don't know where to begin Saskia.'

  'Try the beginning. '

  She munched hungrily and watched him devour his food. He tore off another leg and stripped the meat and tendons in seconds. He took a large swallow of water from the flagon and then inhaled a deep breath.

  'My name is Cornelius Gneaus of Ataxata. I am the fourth Emperor of the Gneaus dynasty. My father was Gneaus the third. My mother is the Empress Eujena. I have a sister called Ajeya. My father banished them both into the wilderness when I was five years old. My sister had a facial disfigurement... though I recall that someone inflicted it.' He pushed a silent laugh through his nostrils. 'But how could they? That's absurd. My memory must be playing tricks now.' He shook his head. 'Nevertheless, the Emperor couldn't bear to look at her. He called her a monster, a deviant, not worthy of this earth.' Cornelius wiped away a tear at the irony of it all. 'He died in a siege several years ago, and I am the heir to that Empire.'

  Saskia looked at him with her mouth wide open.

  'Are you sure that knock to the head hasn't distorted your perception of things?'

  'Not at all. Ataxata is my home. Three miles long and two miles wide, people seeing it for the first time are always speechless. The city within is made up of painted villas and spiralling mansions; where palm trees and orange blossom, honeysuckle and jasmine, rise from tiled courtyards and creep along stone arched walls. There is a bustling market, lush green gardens, marble statues and huge porticos. And merchant ships come from far across the oceans to dock in the bay of Ataxata.'

  'Cornelius, I am struck dumb. I would never have believed such a thing. I don't know what to say. '

  'The person I want to seek forgiveness from will vouch for who I am.'

  'Who do you want to see?'

  'I wish to see Namir, the leader of the clans, and his brother Lyall.'

  'King Lyall? At Castle Dru? What do you want with him?'

  Cornelius looked puzzled, he didn't know that Lyall lived in the castle. He didn't realise that his fellow inmates were referring to Lyall when they said about their links with the king. He didn't even know that Namir's brother was King Lyall.

  'How do you know King Lyall at Castle Dru?' He switched the question around to Saskia.

  'My father has spoken about them. He remembers King Canagan and Queen Artemisia. It's quite a remarkable story how the brothers found each other.'

  'Do you know where Castle Dru is?'

  'Yes I do. It's north of here. But why do you need to see them?'

  'Because I imprisoned Namir.' The shame he carried was heavier than the weighted clouds behind them.

  'What?' Why?' The look on her face was heavier still.

  'Because I was afraid of him. I thought he would attack me.'

  She tilted her head and furrowed her brow to seek clarification.

  'The clans overthrew my father and the General. I thought they would overthrow me.'

  'But they are peaceful people.'

  'I know that now, but I didn't know it then. I was a different person then Saskia. I was driven by greed, power and total domination. Now, I have changed. I promise you—I have.'

  She wasn't listening to that part, she wanted to know about Namir. 'What did you do to him?'

  'I lured him to the palace with the pretence of a peace treaty. In reality I wanted him to surrender everything to me.

  Saskia looked at him. How could this beautiful man have been so vile? 'So what happened to Namir?'

  Cornelius smiled and looked at the book.

  'The owner of that transcript saved his life.'

  Saskia looked bewildered.

  'The Marquis de Beauchamp was my guardian for many years. He taught me how to fight, how to take care of myself. He was given this book as a gift, because it details all the knowledge that one needs to survive.'

  'But in the wrong hands—it can be dangerous,' she surmised, remembering the King of Hezekiah Hall.

  'Exactly.'

  'This book was stolen from him in a fight, he thought that it was lost forever. So he came to the palace to take care of me.'

  Saskia knocked back a large swill of water.

  'We were exiled. My father didn't think I was a worthy Emperor. As a young boy I was very timid, I was scared of everything. I preferred to sing and dance—I didn't want to hunt and kill.'

  Deep in reverie, part of him wished for that boy to return. He saw Saskia smile at him with affection. 'I lived on the other side of the world for ten years.' He paused at that bitter memory. 'When I heard of my father's death, we came back. That's when I heard about the uprising, and s
et my plan in place.'

  Saskia shuddered. Cornelius saw her tremble.

  'The Marquis was really a woman—called Gya—she had taken the guise of a man to accept the position as my guardian. But on our return journey she revealed who she was. A can girl from the Smilodon tribe.

  'Yes, I have heard of them as well.' Saskia nodded. 'A proud formidable tribe.'

  Cornelius dipped his head.

  'And a proud formidable woman by the sound of it,' she concluded.

  He nodded again, and remembered her exceptional fighting skills; exactly the same as Saskia's.

  He continued. 'She had been very ill on our return journey, and was bedridden for many months when we finally reached the palace.'

  'So she didn't know what was going on?' Saskia shook her head in dismay.

  'No she didn't. When she got better, she went out for a walk and she found him.'

  'Where?'

  'Imprisoned in a tower.'

  Saskia looked right through him. 'You imprisoned him in a tower?'

  Cornelius nodded in shame, his head hung low, his breathing deep. He knew what she was thinking. Hezekiah had done the same to her.

  'What did Gya do?'

  'When she found out what I had done to Namir, she challenged me to a fight—and I lost. She disposed of my comatose body in Break Pass Ridge.'

  'And you survived?' her shocked face grimaced.

  'I did.'

  'How did you survive? That drop is several hundred feet.'

  'That's a story for another time Saskia. Too many shocks in one day is not good for anyone.'

  She shivered again and nodded. She was not sure that she wanted to know anyway. 'And you were found by the guards?'

  'Yes, frozen in the snow, disorientated, not knowing anything. Not knowing my identity, and it's only today that I have discovered who I really am.'

  'And you want forgiveness from Namir?'

  'I do, and his brother, and his wife—Skyrah. I want forgiveness from them all. I want to return this book to Gya—its rightful owner. I seek her forgiveness as well.'

  'And what makes you think that they will want to see you?' Saskia's tone was grim.

  'Because I will have you with me. I have the names of respected gentlemen who will be known to the king—they will vouch for my character now. I have this book, and I know that they will give it to Gya.'

  'Why do you need me, if you have all of that?'

  'Because I can't do this without you.'

  All of his dreams had been terrifying since his memory had returned, and each one more haunting than the one before. He had dreamt he was back in the cell again, dark, foul and terrifying. He saw himself as a hunched figure in the corner, the straw on the floor wet with urine, a pail overflowing with faeces. The lamplight revealed the face of the figure. But it was not him, it was Namir reaching out to him. His limbs were stiffening, his ribs stuck through a transparent skin.

  He saw himself as the monster, growling as he shouldered aside the heavy wooden door and stepped into the foul stench of darkness. The walls were smeared with blood, where an imprisoned man had pummelled them, till his hands were raw and shredded.

  He was going to give Namir the beating of his life now. Namir staggered backwards towards his pallet. He was petrified, he had nowhere to run. Cornelius was right in front of him. Namir could smell his rancid breath. The baton was raised in preparation for a strike. The prisoner caught sight of his face; broken veins, bloodshot eyes, loathsome, wretched and hateful. Cornelius looked at Namir, a shaggy beard streaked orange and grey, covered his face. Unwashed black hair, coiled past his shoulders in matted tangles. Brilliant eyes, glinted in the lamplight. He cowered on the palette and raised his hands to cover his face, the chains around his feet holding him down. Cornelius raised the baton high, he heard Namir scream out.

  He awoke with a start. It was his own voice screaming. It was his own heart thumping with fear.

  Saskia ran to him.

  'Please help me Saskia, please help me seek forgiveness. '

  'I need to go home Cornelius; my family will be worried about me.'

  'Please Saskia, I will never ask anything of you again. I promise. Just do this one thing for me. Then I will take you back to Aiden Hall, and I will return to the palace in Ataxta.'

  She thought of her father, and how he would still be in the cell if it wasn't for Cornelius. She thought of her dancing partner, and how much he reminded her of him. She thought of Coben and how much he had changed, from a tyrant who destroyed peoples lives, to a man who sought forgiveness, and gave his own life in the process. People can change, if they want it enough, she thought to herself. 'Okay, I will come with you, and then you take me back to Aiden Hall.'

  He lifted her high into the air and kissed her face. He twirled her around the cave in joy. She threw back her head and laughed, then kissed his mop of golden hair. He felt her breath on his neck. He felt her soft warmth rise and fall. He breathed the smell of her, and then he felt her kiss lingering on his lips; he had never tasted anything quite so sublime. He gently put her down onto the ground and kissed her forehead again. They held an embrace as they looked into each other's eyes. He took her hand and kissed it gently.

  'Now, shall we finish that dance.'

  Chapter Thirty-Nine

  Castle Dru in Durundal.

  The air was full of laughter, and wine had flowed in quantities. That evening they had dined on ox tails, cabbage tossed in walnuts, duck with summer greens, fish cakes served with gingered grapes, and a selection of the finest cheeses. The puddings of apple pie and damsons had been set aside as the guests were so full.

  'You certainly put on a fine spread,' said Dainn fisting his mouth to stifle a belch.

  'That we do,' said Namir, dribbling wine on the front of his doublet. He tried to wipe it off, but kept missing, so Skyrah had to intervene.

  'He's still not used to liquor,' she nudged him playfully and winked at Arneb.

  'Plenty of time for him to catch up,' said Lyall and raised a glass to his twin .

  Namir responded but Skyrah put her hand over the glass. 'I think you've had enough for one night.'

  'Oh Skyrah...' but he didn't pursue it, after everything that had happened in the past year he didn't dare to question anything that she said now. Instead he broke off a nibble of cheese and kissed her on the cheek before popping the morsel in his mouth.

  'You have had a lot to take in tonight,' said Gya thoughtfully. 'I do hope you will not be too aggrieved with me that I had to kill your brother.'

  Ajeya found Dainn's fingers and knitted them between her own. 'Not at all dear friend, you had to do what you had to do. If he had lived, then Namir would have died. Though in the end Cornelius brought it on himself. But I know that you took care of him for many years, giving him the love and protection that no one else could.'

  'That she did,' said Macus humbly. 'She taught him everything he knew, and did the very best for him.'

  'Unfortunately I could not be with him all the time, goodness knows what happened to him in the cave; that's when he really changed. Towards the end I barely recognised him.' She let out a deep sigh. 'He would never talk to me during that time, and certainly not when he found out that I was a woman.'

  'Thought he had been possessed by something,' mumbled Macus remembering the sword fight all too vividly. He found Gya's hand and squeezed it.

  'There is only one person I hold responsible for his demise,' said Meric as all eyes turned on him. 'His father; if he hadn't have sent him away, then the outcome would have been very different.'

  'There are quite a few people that have to take responsibility,' said Lyall. 'Of course it was his own father for ousting him like he did, but as Gya has told us, it was the General who put the seed there in the first place.'

  Chay was deeply saddened and shook her head. 'His mother was sent away when he was so young, and he lost his beautiful sister at the same time. Without good role models, the poor boy didn't really stand
a chance.'

  Ajeya thought of all the people who had been instrumental in her life; and how differently the two siblings had turned out. A wave of sorrow tugged at her heart, and she took her last gulp of wine and sloshed it around her mouth before swallowing.

  'I think that's me done for the night,' she said. 'It has certainly been very insightful; and thank you, everyone, for your kind hospitality and openness.'

  Dainn rifled a few grapes and popped them into his mouth, one after the other. 'Yes, you are all good friends, and I hope that friendship will last forever; but now, I believe my good lady wife is ready for bed.'

  Lyall called the servants in and they cleared the table quickly. He knew that Ajeya had something very pressing to tell Dainn and it probably wouldn't wait till morning.

  'Goodnight dear friends.' Lyall stood up to escort them to the foot of the stairs. Skyrah and Arneb followed. Namir was unceremoniously draped over his plate—snoring for all the kingdoms. Gya and Macus were ready to help him upstairs.

  Only one lamp was alight in the bedchamber, its glow shielded by an ancient bronze cover. Above the bedhead, sticks of sweet burning yarrow were smouldering in a gold holder shaped like an eagle in flight. The garden was right outside their window, still and shadowy in the warm night air, and as Ajeya went over to close the shutters, a succulent breeze of cherry blossom and jasmine wafted past her, so she decided to leave it ajar. The pillows were plumped up and voluminous against a luxurious satin bedspread. Dainn kicked off his boots, threw his doublet on to the elegant bedside chair and launched himself onto the bed.

  'What an incredible evening,' he said and held out an arm for her to join him.

  'I know, who would have thought we were all connected in so many intricate ways.' She nestled into the crook of his arm and laid her head on his chest.

  He kissed the top of her head and softly played with her hair. 'Are you all right, you have gone very quiet.'

  'I am fine; though I am plagued with thoughts that I have to share with you. Perhaps I should wait until the morning, but I feel the need to do it now.'