Teen Titans Go! (TM): Beast Boy Bro-Down

by Steve Korte

  Begin Reading

  Table of Contents

  Copyright Page

  Hachette Book Group supports the right to free expression and the value of copyright. The purpose of copyright is to encourage writers and artists to produce the creative works that enrich our culture.

  The scanning, uploading, and distribution of this book without permission is a theft of the author’s intellectual property. If you would like permission to use material from the book (other than for review purposes), please contact permissions@hbgusa.com. Thank you for your support of the author’s rights.

  “Eeek! Help us!” the citizens of Jump City cried as a giant monster rampaged through the streets, crushing cars and knocking over buildings.

  On a nearby rooftop, the Teen Titans quickly gathered and prepared for battle with the evil beast.

  “Star and Raven, you two take the left flank,” called out Robin. “Cyborg and I will take the right!”

  Robin turned to Beast Boy, who was eagerly jumping from one foot to the other.

  “Beast Boy,” said Robin, “I want you to go pterodactyl right up the middle!”

  “You got it, Rob!” Beast Boy said enthusiastically.

  “Okay! Teen Titans, go!” yelled Robin.

  With that command, Starfire and Raven flew toward the monster.

  Cyborg transformed himself into a jetpack and launched into the air, with Robin holding on to him tightly. Beast Boy jumped off the ledge of the building and sailed through the air, ready to change into a fierce pterodactyl!

  Seconds later, he crashed to the ground, still in his original Beast Boy form.

  “Whoa!” he said woozily. “What happened to my pterodactyl?”

  Above him, the Teen Titans were battling the monster.

  “Hurry up, Beastie,” called out Cyborg. “We need you!”

  “It’s cheetah time!” yelled Beast Boy. He started running faster and faster, heading toward the monster and getting ready to turn into a savage cheetah.

  Blam!

  Beast Boy slammed into one leg of the monster. He had failed to transform again.

  As Raven zapped the monster with her dark magic, she looked down at Beast Boy with concern.

  “Uh, is there something wrong with your powers?” she asked.

  Beast Boy glared at her as he rubbed his aching head and quickly said, “Of course not!”

  Robin yelled down to Beast Boy, “Glad to hear it, because we need a rhino to knock this guy off balance!”

  “One rhino coming at you!” Beast Boy declared. He narrowed his eyes, used all his concentration to imagine a giant rhino horn on his forehead, and with a loud yell charged at the monster as…

  … Beast Boy.

  Just then, the monster raised one of its legs and kicked Beast Boy, sending him flying through the air. Beast Boy slammed into a lamppost, which cracked in two and landed with a thud on top of the monster. The creature was knocked unconscious.

  “That’s how rhinos do it!” declared Beast Boy as he jumped from foot to foot in a victory dance.

  The other Titans looked at one another doubtfully.

  Back at Titans Tower, Beast Boy’s teammates gathered around him.

  “Admit it, Beast Boy,” said Robin. “You’ve lost your powers.”

  “No way, bro,” said Beast Boy as he walked away. “I was just having an off day.”

  Raven flew in front of him and said, “Beast Boy, we need to talk about this.”

  “Okay,” he agreed. “We can talk about it over the vegan portabella pizza with creamy truffle sauce that I’ve prepared. But first I need to chill our glasses to forty-four degrees for the sparkling apple cider. I added just a hint of nutmeg to the cider to make it more assertive.”

  As the Titans gathered around the dinner table, they were surprised to see that Beast Boy had set the table with fine china dinner plates, gleaming silverware, and a linen tablecloth. There were even place cards to tell each Titan where to sit.

  “Oooh, highly delicious looking!” said Starfire as Beast Boy eased the steaming-hot pizza onto a crystal serving tray. Cyborg reached out to grab a slice of pizza.

  “Ouch!” he cried when Beast Boy smacked his hand with a spatula.

  “Were you just gonna eat that with your hands, bro? Gross!” said Beast Boy. “Use a serving fork.”

  “A serving what?” asked Cyborg, completely confused.

  Beast Boy turned to Starfire and said, “Would you mind chewing a bit more quietly? And, Robin, please wipe your mouth with your napkin, not your glove!”

  “When did Beast Boy become the civilized one?” Raven asked with surprise.

  “That’s it!” declared Robin. “That’s the problem! The comforts of modern living have stripped Beast Boy of his animal instincts!”

  “Then that is why he cannot turn into the animals,” said Starfire.

  Beast Boy started freaking out and jumped back from the table. “You’re right!” he said. “The old Beast Boy would never have used a serving fork to eat pizza! The only way I can get my powers back is to reconnect with Mother Nature!”

  Robin reached out to grab his teammate.

  “Be careful, Beast Boy,” he said. “She is the worst mother of all. There’s a reason we all live inside.”

  But Beast Boy broke away and quickly ripped off his uniform.

  “I got to do it, bro!” he yelled as he ran out the door, wearing just his white briefs. “I got to run free!”

  The four Titans looked at one another and smiled.

  “More pizza for us!” declared Cyborg. They all resumed eating.

  Beast Boy scampered through a beautiful forest, his arms outstretched and a big smile on his face.

  “Finally! Back to Mother Nature!” he called out. “Beautiful sun! Fresh air! Clean water!”

  He paused in front of a small lake and scooped up a handful of water.

  “So good, so fresh, so…” he said happily as he slurped down the water. “Yuck! So hairy!” He gagged, pulling a clump of brown fur out of his mouth.

  Nearby, a giant brown grizzly bear glared at Beast Boy. The bear had been cleaning itself, sending huge balls of fur into the water.

  “No problem,” said Beast Boy as he walked into the forest. Just then, a tiny bug landed on his shoulder.

  “What’s up, buggy bug?” asked Beast Boy. “How’s nature been treating you, baby?”

  The bug didn’t answer. Instead, it slithered into Beast Boy’s ear!

  “Ack! Bug in my ear! Get out! Get out! Get out!” cried Beast Boy.

  To his relief, the bug emerged from his other ear. Then it crawled up Beast Boy’s nose!

  “Even worse! It tickles! Get out!” yelled Beast Boy.

  He then grabbed a branch off a nearby tree and brought it down sharply on his own head. The bug popped out of his mouth.

  Beast Boy wearily sat down on a log. A long green snake slithered up next to him.

  “Yo, snake-dude, good to see you,” said Beast Boy. “You wouldn’t believe the day I’m having out here in the—”

  Before he could finish his sentence, the snake jumped up and bit Beast Boy’s nose.

  “Owwwwww!” screamed Beast Boy as he jumped off the log and ran back to the lake.

  Smack!

  He collided with the grizzly bear, which let out a loud roar and chased Beast Boy back into the forest.

  “Worst day in nature ever!” yelled Beast Boy as he ran from the bear.

  After three weeks, Beast Boy had not returned to Titans Tower, so his teammates decided to search for him in the forest.

  “I warned Beast Boy about coming
into this hostile environment,” Robin said as they walked cautiously through the woods. “We just need to remember that Mother Nature is against us out here. We will have to do whatever it takes to survive until we find Beast Boy.”

  “I just hope he’s alive when we find him!” added Cyborg.

  “Of course he will be alive,” said Starfire. “Because if he is not, the animals will have surely scattered his remains across the forest, leaving no trace for us to find!”

  “Way to look on the bright side, Star,” said Raven with a sigh.

  A butterfly floated by Robin, and the Boy Wonder quickly grabbed it and popped the insect into his mouth.

  Gulp!

  “Eeeew! What did you do that for?” asked Cyborg with dismay.

  “Pure protein,” explained Robin. “Out here in the wild you have to take every meal you can get. You never know when you’ll have a chance to eat again.”

  “Um, crazy boy, you just ate a sandwich five minutes ago!” said Raven.

  Gulp!

  Robin swallowed another butterfly.

  “Robin! Please stop doing that!” implored Starfire.

  “Pure protein!” said Robin before he let out a gentle burp.

  In another part of the forest, far away from the other Teen Titans, sat a very dejected Beast Boy. He was wearing just his underwear and shivering in the cold.

  “Man, I wish I hadn’t torn off my uniform,” he grumbled to himself. “I’m freezing, and I’m hungry. I sure could use something warm to eat.”

  Just then, a plump and fuzzy rabbit hopped up and cuddled next to him.

  “Hey, bunny,” said Beast Boy. “Wow, how do you stay so meaty, bro? I mean, look at your delicious, thick thighs. And that soft, warm fur of yours would make an awesome sweater!”

  The rabbit looked nervously at Beast Boy.

  Beast Boy licked his lips and then lunged for the rabbit, which ran away in alarm.

  “Come back, bunny!” Beast Boy called as he ran after the rabbit. “Let me put you in my mouth!”

  The rabbit jumped through a giant bush with Beast Boy right behind it.

  Crash!

  Beast Boy slammed into a beautiful young woman who was floating above the ground and holding the rabbit in her arms. She was dressed in white, with tiny wings on her back and a glowing golden crown on top of her head. She looked down at Beast Boy with a smile.

  “Whoa,” he said. “Who are you?”

  “I am Mother Nature,” she replied.

  “Well, that’s my lunch, Mama!” declared Beast Boy as he reached for the rabbit.

  Beast Boy and Mother Nature struggled for a minute, but then he dropped to the ground and started sobbing.

  “What am I doing?” he cried. “This place is making me crazy! I almost ate that adorable bunny!”

  Beast Boy looked up and noticed with surprise that the rabbit was no longer in her arms.

  “Hey, where did the bunny go?” he asked.

  “He’s right over there,” Mother Nature said, pointing to the giant grizzly bear that had just gulped down the rabbit in one tasty bite.

  Beast Boy gasped and said, “Robin was right! You are the worst mother ever! How could you let that bear eat the bunny?”

  “I preach survival of the fittest here,” she explained. “One animal eats another. It’s the circle of life.”

  Beast Boy was not convinced.

  “You don’t need any circles if you have taco stands!” he declared.

  Mother Nature was intrigued and said, “Taco? Can you explain this taco to me?”

  “No problem, Mama,” Beast Boy replied with a smile. “Tacos are exactly what this place needs!”

  Deep in the forest, the other members of the Teen Titans continued their search for Beast Boy. Robin had stripped down to tiny green shorts and covered his body with green camouflage paint in an attempt to disguise himself as a leafy bush.

  “Interesting new look, Robin,” said Raven sarcastically.

  “If Mother Nature wants to attack me, she’s going to have to find me first!” he said smugly. He then fell to his knees and started sniffing the ground.

  “Titans, I have discovered Beast Boy’s trail!” he declared. “Follow me!”

  Robin led his teammates deeper into the woods, where they came upon a pile of bones on the floor of the forest, next to a bush covered with plump red berries.

  Robin stuffed a handful of berries into his mouth and said between gulps, “I know exactly what happened to Beast Boy!”

  “And I know those berries are definitely poisonous, and you should stop eating them,” said Raven.

  Ignoring her as he ate more berries, Robin continued, “Beast Boy regained his instincts and was able to turn into animals again!”

  Starfire clapped her hands in delight. “That is the great news!” she said happily.

  Robin swallowed more berries and added, “But then Beast Boy got cocky. Prancing through the forest in the form of a deer, he had a fateful meeting with the majestic King Deer! They couldn’t come to terms, so Beast Boy challenged him to become the emperor of the forest. It’s all so very clear now!”

  “Those berries are going to your head, dude,” said Cyborg.

  “I do not understand,” said Starfire. “Where is Beast Boy now?”

  Robin pointed to the pile of bones on the ground and said dramatically, “This is Beast Boy!”

  “No, that’s not him,” Raven said with a shake of her head.

  “Poor, poor Beast Boy!” wailed Robin. “You could never be emperor of the forest! Couldn’t you see that? Why did you challenge King Deer for his throne? You were just a boy! Just a boy!” He fell to the ground, sobbing.

  “Um, Robin,” said Raven. “That’s not the skeleton of a deer. That’s a moose. And there is no such thing as King Deer.”

  Robin jumped up and said, “Well, that’s a relief! Come on, Titans. Our search continues!”

  As they continued walking, Cyborg wiped his brow. “All this searching sure is hot work,” he said. “I could use something cold to drink.”

  “I could also use the liquid refreshment,” agreed Starfire.

  “Here you go, Star,” said Robin. He reached into his backpack and handed her a canteen. She happily started drinking and then gave the canteen to Cyborg and Raven, who each took long swigs of water.

  Cyborg licked his lips and looked suspiciously at Robin. “Where did that water come from?” he asked. “From that dirty lake with all those fish swimming in it?”

  “It’s clean,” Robin declared. “It came from me.”

  Raven looked up, surprised. “Yeah, but where did you get it?”

  “I made it,” Robin said with exasperation. “It came from me!”

  Cyborg, Raven, and Starfire stared at Robin in horror and simultaneously spit out the water.

  “Please tell me that wasn’t what I think it was!” yelled Cyborg.

  “It was distilled, purified, and filtered four times,” Robin said with annoyance. “We have to do what we have to do to survive in the wild!”

  Just then, a butterfly drifted by. Robin jumped in the air, snatched it, and gobbled it down.

  “Pure protein!” he yelled with a laugh, and went running deeper into the woods.

  Raven looked disgusted. “I am so ready to go back to the Tower,” she said.

  In another part of the forest, Mother Nature and Beast Boy were standing in front of a beautiful glade with a tiny pond that was surrounded by tall pine trees.

  “This is the perfect place for our taco stands,” declared Beast Boy.

  “Are you sure that these taco stands will improve the forest?” she asked doubtfully.

  “I guarantee it, Big Mama,” he said. “But first, you gotta ditch most of these trees.”

  Mother Nature hesitated for a moment, but then she shrugged and raised her right hand.

  “Well, okay,” she said.

  Zap!

  All the trees at the edge of the glade magically disappeared.
Beast Boy was delighted.

  “See how that opens everything up?” he asked. “Now for some real estate. You need to put some buildings in there.”

  Mother Nature waved her hand again.

  Poof!

  A row of bushes disappeared and was replaced by dozens of homes and skyscrapers.

  “Now we’re cookin’!” Beast Boy said happily. “And speaking of cookin’, let’s get some of those taco stands in here.”

  “Bueno!” said Mother Nature with a wave.

  Crackle!

  The pond was magically transformed into a giant taco stand. All the fish in the pond were changed into fish tacos!

  “Now some billboards to advertise the taco stand,” said Beast Boy. “And more buildings. Lots more buildings!”

  By the time she was done, not a trace of the forest around them remained.

  “Maybe some air-conditioning?” asked Mother Nature eagerly.

  “That’s a no-brainer!” agreed Beast Boy.

  The two of them surveyed the scene. All the animals were peacefully lined up at the taco stand, waiting patiently to order their fish tacos.

  “Look at that!” said Beast Boy with satisfaction. “No one’s eating anyone. Well, except for the fish in the tacos, I guess. Everyone’s got their own home and air-conditioning! That’s what I call nature!”

  “This is so much better, Beast Boy,” said Mother Nature. “How can I ever thank you?”

  She reached down to embrace Beast Boy and hugged him tightly to her.

  Pop!

  Beast Boy suddenly transformed himself into a happy green rabbit.

  “Look!” he yelled happily. “I reconnected with nature. Literally! Yo, my powers are back!”

  Pop! Pop! Pop!

  Beast Boy rapidly transformed himself into a bear. Then a wolf. Then a Maine coon cat.

  “That’s what I’m talking about,” he purred.

  Pop!

  Beast Boy turned himself into a green butterfly.