The Change-Up

by Syd Parker

  “Yes, it took the chill out of the air. I can make another one.”

  “No. I’m good. I find houses with fireplaces fascinating. If only we could figure out a way to use them to cool the house the other 364 days of the year.”

  Bellamy and Sawyer ate in amiable silence, content to fill their bellies before returning to their conversation.

  “That was delicious. I didn’t realize I was that hungry. And you were right. The fries were a completely acceptable side to pasta.” Bellamy set her plate on the coffee table and curled her legs beneath her, wrapping a throw around her feet. “How’s the season going?”

  “Lost our first three games. We won yesterday. We’ve got a game tomorrow at two.”

  “I wish Kevin was awake to chat baseball with you. These past six months have beaten him mentally. He’s lost his spark, Sawyer. I’m worried about that as much as him being sick.”

  “I picked up on that when we talk. He makes backward comments about never playing ball again. No matter how many times I try to cheer him up, he goes back to his career being over. I understand that. It’s tough when someone or something makes the decision which way your life will go, especially when it isn’t the way you planned. It’s kind of hard to lift yourself up from the dumps. I just keep trying. Lord knows, the kid could use something to smile about. Think he would feel up to coming to some games this spring? I know the guys would love to see him.”

  Bellamy thought about it. She couldn’t say for sure. Kevin had one or two good days sprinkled in with a bunch of bad ones. And good only meant he didn’t sleep every hour outside of school. “I’m not sure. I know he would like that. I’ll see if he is up for a road trip. Any games close to here?”

  “We’ve got a couple games in Valdosta next month.”

  “We could do that in three hours. That wouldn’t be too bad. Let me check. Maybe it would help take our minds off of this. Lately, I can’t think about anything else.”

  “I understand that. You know if there is anything I can do to help, just let me know.”

  Bellamy smiled gratefully. “I know. You know how hard it is for me to ask for help.”

  “Which is why I offered. Then all you have to do is accept. Makes it easier on us all.” Sawyer enjoyed razzing Bellamy about her ridiculous need to face the world alone. She couldn’t understand going through life not leaning on folks. Maybe it was her inherent need to be helpful that blocked her mind to stalwart independence. She felt it alienated people. No sense making yourself an island when you were surrounded by land. “Besides, I might get My Best Self Brownie badge.”

  “Really?” Bellamy smiled wryly. “I can no more picture you a Brownie then me a ballet dancer.”

  Sawyer placed her palms together and tilted her head on her hands, portraying her best innocent school girl look. Her gesture earned her sufficient guffaws. “Okay, you got me. Never a Girl Scout or a Brownie or Junior Cookie Dough Bite.”

  “There is no cookie dough bite.”

  “There isn’t?” Sawyer feigned confusion. “Well, there should be. Any group that peddles that much sugar in cookie form needs to rethink their name. Sacrilege, I tell you. Sacrilege.”

  “I don’t think that counts as sacrilege either.” Bellamy tried not to smile, but Sawyer’s attempt at lifting her spirits was working. She realized how much she needed the visit. Kevin’s health had worried her to the point of physical and mental exhaustion, but it was only when she held a mirror up to her current state, that she recognized the extent. “Thank you, Sawyer. You always know the right thing to say.”

  “Or the wrong thing, it would seem.”

  “You know what I mean. You always seem to know what I need.”

  Sawyer studied Bellamy’s face, biting back the words that sprang up in her mind. She knew Bellamy like she knew the back of her hand, despite the short time they’d known each other. Their friendship grew with each visit, which in turn made her feelings for Bellamy deepen. It was something Sawyer worked very hard at hiding. She didn’t want to push Bellamy away. The delicate relationship was one Sawyer did not want to damage. “Ziti and chicken fingers have always been the perfect comfort food.”

  “That’s not what I meant.”

  “Bellamy.” Sawyer paused long enough to allow the seriousness of her tone to sink in and for her eyes to speak all the words she normally kept hidden. “I know how you feel.”

  In the prolonged glance they shared, Bellamy knew Sawyer could read her deepest thoughts. No matter how well she tried to keep them hidden, she knew they simmered just beneath the surface. An understanding look passed between them, and Bellamy realized that Sawyer would never bring it up, save a longing glance. Bellamy’s heart clinched tightly, screaming to be heard. She dismissed it just as quickly. “Wait. Did you say your game was at two tomorrow?”

  “Yep.”

  “How are you going to make it back in time?”

  “I’ll leave from here. I’ll get back in the morning. I have plenty of time.”

  “It’s so late.” Bellamy’s voice registered her concern.

  Sawyer shrugged, not overly concerned with the late-night drive. “I do it all the time. Besides, there is way less traffic on the road at night. I can just roll right along.” She accentuated the comment with a hand gesture similar to a car driving down the road.

  “But you won’t get any sleep.” Bellamy’s brow furrowed, wholly unconvinced that the proposed idea was a good one. “You could stay here.”

  Sawyer wanted to ask if that was a proposition, in a teasing manner, of course, but she stopped herself. “I’m fine.”

  “No, it could work. You could leave around 4 and make it with plenty of time to spare.”

  “Eh.” Sawyer groaned loudly. “I’m not exactly a morning person.” She glanced at her watch, realizing how late it actually was. “Oh man, I should get going.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yes, Mom. I’m sure.” Sawyer smirked at the look she got in response to her kidding. She pushed herself out of the chair, reluctant to leave the warmth of the house and Bellamy’s company.

  Bellamy followed suit. “I worry about you driving by yourself.”

  Sawyer crossed the room and stopped in front of Bellamy. She cocked her head, studying the disquiet on Bellamy’s face. “I like that you worry about me.”

  Bellamy’s stomach fluttered at the nearness, but the couch blocked her moving further away. Distancing herself would have required an awkward step sideways. She felt heat in her cheeks, and she looked away self-consciously. “I care about you. Of course, I worry.”

  “It was almost enough to make me stay. Almost.”

  “What would it take to convince you?”

  Sawyer smiled wickedly and shook her head. “Something you’re not prepared to offer, my dear.” She moved closer, brushing her lips against Bellamy’s cheek softly. “Thank you for the company. Give Kevin a hug for me.”

  Bellamy managed to catch her breath and get to the front door before Sawyer left. “I, uh, thank you for dinner. It was the nicest Valentine’s Day I’ve had in a long time.”

  “Even if we aren’t dating?”

  Bellamy smiled shyly. “Yes, even if we aren’t dating. Goodnight, Sawyer. Please be careful.”

  “Goodnight, Bell.” Sawyer held Bellamy’s gaze then disappeared.

  Bellamy headed toward the living room, amazed at how dark and alone it felt without Sawyer to brighten it. For brief moments, Bellamy was allowed to feel the sun, and she craved it when it was gone. It should have concerned her how quickly Sawyer became a necessary part of her life, but she didn’t allow herself to worry. It was one minor deviation from her usually tidy life. There would be time to fret once everything else was fixed. For now, she wrapped it up in a small box and placed it on a shelf for later. She eyed the blanket on the couch and was half-tempted to curl up in a ball for the night. Instead, she opted to tidy up their dishes and go to bed. Tomorrow, that was when she would think about it. Tonight, she
would just try to sleep.

  Chapter Twelve

  March 2014

  Bellamy waggled her fingers at Sawyer and sat down on the bleachers closest to the visiting team’s dugout. The smile she received in return made her heart soar. It had only been three weeks since she saw her, but Bellamy was quickly realizing that not seeing Sawyer left her feeling incomplete. She was a much needed respite in a difficult time.

  When Bellamy mentioned the game to Kevin, he eagerly accepted. She could tell the drive down wore him out, but it hadn’t wiped the excited smile from his face. She watched Cody leave the dugout and saunter up the bleachers, plopping down beside Kevin. They exchanged a one-armed hug.

  “S’up, man. Coach says you’re trying to bag out on us next year.”

  Kevin nodded. “Yeah, I got better things to do than play ball with a bunch of second-rate wannabes.”

  Cody’s laugh echoed around them. “Whatever, dude. Your ass is lucky to be on the same field with mine.”

  “You’ll be hauling the tarp over my field.” Kevin nudged Cody with his shoulder, the excitement of seeing the team giving him a surge of energy.

  “You coming to dinner after the game? Coach takes us to this great Italian place. The waitresses are smokin’ hot.” Cody caught Bellamy’s eyes. “Sorry, Ms. Carter.”

  “Don’t apologize to me. If you can get Kevin interested in dating, you are doing better than me.”

  “Cool. So, y’all coming?”

  “Sure, yeah.”

  “Awesome. Guess I better get back. I’m putting on a pitching clinic for you today. Might want to take notes.” Cody loped down the bleachers, turning around to smirk at Kevin and offer an exaggerated bow before joining the team in the dugout.

  “Do you need a pen and paper?” Bellamy teased as she rummaged through her purse. “You wouldn’t want to miss anything important.”

  “Nah, he’s just being Cody. I taught him everything good anyway.” Kevin smiled and looked up at the sky. He closed his eyes and let the warm spring sun wash over him. He inhaled the smell of the grass, the dirt and old leather. Smells that were so familiar he could taste them. He missed the feel of the ball in his hand. He could picture his catcher flashing signals. He wasn’t religious like his mom, but lately, he’d started praying. He wasn’t sure where his prayers were going, but he was certain the response he wanted. He prayed to be healthy again. He stopped short of saying he would give up baseball to get well. That might come one day, but for now, he figured he would pray for a chance at both. So far, he didn’t have an answer. But he wasn’t sure how the whole prayer thing worked.

  Bellamy watched the smile on her son’s face and she silently thanked Sawyer for the invitation to the game. Her eyes crept back to the dugout, stealing glances of Sawyer as she interacted with the team. She couldn’t see her eyes behind her dark sunglasses, but nothing could erase the memory of Sawyer’s gray eyes. Her gaze traveled down the length of Sawyer’s body, her muscles pressed tightly against her usual softball shorts. Bellamy knew she could stare at Sawyer all day, if she had the opportunity. Her body remembered the feel of Sawyer against her and she brushed it aside quickly. It would do her no good to swoon the entire game, especially with her son beside her. She leaned toward Kevin. “All good?”

  The smile that crossed his face stole her breath away. It was the first real smile she’d seen in months, and she knew he was where he needed to be. “All good. Thanks, Mom.”

  “It was Sawyer’s idea. She thought it might cheer you up.”

  “She knows what we need.”

  Kevin spoke the words plainly enough, but even as his attention turned to the game, Bellamy was left to wonder about the tone in his voice. He seemed to know something she didn’t. It wasn’t unsettling to her, just odd. As though her son were trying to share some cryptic truth she was too blind to see yet. Bellamy shook the feeling off. The action had started below, and before she knew it, the Statesmen were up 3-to-1 in an exciting six innings. “They’re on today.”

  “Yeah, Cody is killing it at the plate. They can’t touch his change-up.”

  “Coach said they lost a few already, so they could use a win. Maybe they are showing off for you.”

  Kevin shrugged coolly, but Bellamy saw the corners of his mouth turn up. Despite his illness, he felt like part of the team, hoping he would still be joining them in the fall. “The guys are probably just tired of losing. I would be.”

  Bellamy heard the sadness in his voice and knew that Kevin would rather be playing, even if it meant losing a few games. “You getting excited?”

  “Kind of hard to. Who knows if I’ll be well enough to play?”

  “I’ll do whatever it takes to get you better. Whatever this is, we will beat it. You were meant to play baseball, and that’s what you’re going to do.” Bellamy didn’t mean to speak as fiercely as she did, but part of it was her own insecurity. She didn’t know what was wrong, and she needed to convince herself he would get better. “Besides, I already have the T-shirt.”

  Kevin rolled his eyes. “I wouldn’t want you not to be able to wear your Fighting Okra shirt. God forbid.”

  The loud crack of a bat grabbed their attention, and they both turned in time to see a high fly ball soar over the left field wall. They watched as Brandon Collins trotted around the bases, a giant smile on his face. The two-run homer upped the lead to four runs. Kevin groaned. “B’s on fire today. We will never hear the end of that.”

  “At least, it’s not Landon.”

  “True.” Kevin clapped and whistled loudly as Brandon crossed the plate, doling out high fives to his waiting teammates. This was his element. He missed the smell of the grass. The dusty ground beneath his feet. The bag of sunflower seeds always present on the bench. He missed the feel of the ball pounding against his glove. It seemed longer than six months since he’d played. It seemed even longer until he would play again. He let his mind drift the remainder of the game. He could just make out the signals from catcher, Matt Barnett. He imagined waving them off until he got the one he wanted. He closed his eyes, his body going through the motion as he pitched in tandem with Cody. It wasn’t the same, but as each ball thudded against the catcher’s mitt, it calmed him down. He knew that no matter what the future held, he had been a part of something magical. Something he would never forget as long as he lived.

  Several hours later, Bellamy pulled in behind the bus and found a parking spot as close as she could. The game ended with the Statesmen winning 6-to-3. They had two more games in the series, but it was a good start and the boys were particularly loud in their celebrations. Bellamy caught Sawyer’s eyes and shot her an oh my God, what are we in for smile. Inside the restaurant, they let the guys sit together and opted for a small table that sat just away from the rowdy group. “Great game, by the way.”

  “Thanks.” Sawyer took a menu from their waitress and smiled. “Hey, Shelley.”

  “Sawyer. Heard you guys won. Coach isn’t too happy.”

  Bellamy watched the exchange with a curious stare.

  Sawyer saw the expression and quickly explained who Shelley was. “This is Shelley Martin. Her husband, Greg, is the head coach at Valdosta State. As the owner of Giulio's, she is kind enough to let us eat here, even if we win. Of course, when we lose, dessert is on the house.”

  Shelley extended a hand toward Bellamy. “Shelley Martin. Pleasure meeting you. Sawyer isn’t being entirely truthful. She cried one time over a particularly bad loss. Woman to woman, I knew chocolate would help, so I gave her a huge piece of our tiramisu. Of course, somehow that translated into free dessert after every loss.”

  Bellamy shook her hand firmly. “It’s nice to meet you. Sawyer raved about the food here, so it must have made her forget about losing.”

  “Let’s not go that far.” Sawyer interrupted dutifully. “Don’t get me wrong. The tiramisu is amazing, but nothing tastes better than winning. Sorry, Shel. I owed Greg for the last series. Three losses is unacceptable.”

>   “True enough. Figure I better get started with this rowdy group. Want your usual?”

  Sawyer nodded. “Bellamy, you have to try the chicken piccata. It’s amazing.”

  “Make it two?” Shelley asked, her pen poised to write down Bellamy’s order.

  Bellamy eyed the menu quickly then nodded. “You sold me. And, I’ll just have water with lemon.”

  “Sweet tea for me. Thanks, Shelley.”

  “You must come here a lot.” Bellamy’s eyes danced laughingly. “I think she likes you.”

  “She does. As a friend. She usually makes the games, but they must be short-staffed today.”

  “I meant as a friend, silly.”

  “Oh.” Sawyer frowned. “I’m never sure with you. I just assumed you meant liked me like that.”

  “I don’t assume every woman likes you.”

  “If you did, you would be wrong…at least about one woman.”

  “What do you mean?”

  Sawyer cut her eyes at Bellamy. “You know.”

  Bellamy looked away and fiddled with her napkin. “I do. But I wouldn’t be wrong. You know that.”

  “I do.” Sawyer paused as Shelley delivered glasses of tea and water, first to their table and then to the guys. “So, Kevin had a good time today?”

  “He did.” Bellamy glanced at her son as she spoke. He was smiling, but he looked tired. She had planned on driving back home after dinner, so she hoped Kevin would be comfortable sleeping in the car. “It was a good idea, Sawyer.”

  “Indeed, it was.” Sawyer’s face lit up with delight. “No news yet?”

  Bellamy let out a frustrated breath. “No. Nothing yet. More tests, but no answers. The doctor thinks it may be some type of autoimmune disorder. He ordered a new round of tests to look for that. We should know for sure in a few weeks.”

  “That would be good.”

  “It will be nice to know. Then we can figure out what our next step is.”

  “How’s Kevin holding up?”

  “Good, considering. I think he needs answers more than me. He knows it could affect his baseball career. Not knowing that is killing him.”