The Theory of Deviance: Portland Rebels, Book 3

by Rebecca Grace Allen

  * * * * *

  An hour later, the plans had been made. It was like falling down in an avalanche, telling her parents she needed help, but they’d been great about it, promising to give her all the support she needed instead of the disappointment Krissy had feared. She’d changed her ticket too after that, planning to go home to Connecticut for a while. Once she’d filled Rafe in on everything, she changed out of her dress into some comfy sweats and started to pack.

  They were both nearly finished when she heard front door opening. Mikey stepped cautiously into the bedroom. He paled when he saw their bags.

  “You’re leaving?” he asked.

  “I’m heading back early,” Rafe answered. “Gotta be ready for that show.”

  Mikey glanced at Krissy. “You’re going too?”

  “I’m going home to my folks. Maybe taking some time off school.” She tangled her hands in her sweatshirt sleeves. It still stung, remembering how disgusted he’d seemed by her plan, but expecting him to jump on board hadn’t been reasonable, given his family and his beliefs. “I haven’t been all that healthy. It’s probably why I came up with that idea.”

  Mikey’s pallor went a bit chalky. “So you don’t want to move here?”

  “I don’t know yet. I need to take better care of me before I make any other plans.”

  “What about your apartment?”

  “I want Krissy to have it,” Rafe said. “I’ll look for another place when the tour is over.”

  Krissy shook her head. “We’ll have to sublet until the lease ends. I can’t afford it on my own, and my parents aren’t going to pay rent for a place I’m not living in.”

  Mikey nodded. Slowly, very slowly, he treaded toward them. “How would you feel about…subletting it to me?”

  Krissy’s breath caught. “What?”

  He shrugged. “What have I been saving my money for if not to use it on the people I love?”

  Love? People?

  Krissy threw him a wary glance. “I thought you said you couldn’t do this.”

  “I said I couldn’t do it here.” He took another step forward. “My parents’ views might be wrong, but they’re still my parents, and I don’t want to hurt them. But this place doesn’t feel like home anymore. Maybe it never did. The only place that’s felt like home is with the two of you.”

  He held an open palm out toward Krissy.

  “You were right,” he said. “You knew what I needed all along. I should’ve trusted you.”

  Her heart was pounding. She let her fingertips brush along his. “What about the church? And your job?”

  “I’ll get another one. I’ve saved enough to keep me afloat for a while. I told my parents I was sorry about the business, but if I can’t be me here then it’s time for me to go. And there are other churches that might be more—” he grinned, “—forward thinking.”

  A sheepish smile made its way over her lips. “Last night didn’t scare you off?”

  “It scared me, but it didn’t scare me off.”

  She curled her fingers around his and held her breath as he turned to Rafe. Putting one hand on Rafe’s shoulder, Mikey gripped it tightly, his jaw firm as he gave hard looks to both of them.

  “So you go home, and get better,” he said to her, then looked to Rafe. “And you go on that tour. And when you’re both ready, I’ll be waiting for you.” He shook his head and laughed. “I don’t know if this is nuts, but I don’t really care. Because no one has made me happier than the two of you have, and I’ll do whatever it takes to keep us together.”

  Krissy couldn’t hold back. She buried herself against Mikey’s side and grasped Rafe’s hand.

  “I need to get my head on straight first,” she said.

  “I know,” Mikey said against her hair, putting his arm around her. “I like you with your glasses back, by the way.”

  A sound that was half a sob, half a giggle burst out of her. Rafe was still holding back though, a bit of distance between him and them.

  “You sure about this?” he asked Mikey.

  “I’m sure. I’m not walking away from you. I’ve made my peace with my parents. The rest…” Mikey looked skyward and shrugged. “The rest I’ll work out as we go.”

  Rafe swallowed and looked at Krissy. The piece deep inside her that ached when he said he could never be with her for real wrenched its way to the surface.

  Preparing herself for the same answer, she asked him, “Are you sure about me?”

  He took in a shaky breath. “I’ve always loved you, Kris. I just thought you deserved someone who wasn’t so screwed up inside.”

  Tears welled in her eyes even as her stomach tightened in frustration. He’d been keeping the truth from her for so long, still trying to protect her even at the expense of his own happiness, but it didn’t matter. They had something even more beautiful now.

  “Well, you’re stupid,” she told him, and the tension in the room broke on their laughter.

  “I’ll be gone a long time,” Rafe said. “You both sure you want to wait?”

  Mikey moved his hand from Rafe’s shoulder to grasp the back of his neck. “I’ve waited my whole life for the two of you. A few more months won’t kill me.”

  Rafe exhaled hard and hung his head. When he lifted it, his eyes were shining. A tear streaked down his face, and Krissy’s chest threatened to split in half when Mikey smoothed his thumb over Rafe’s cheek, wiping the tear away. He pulled Rafe closer, and Krissy held Mikey tightly as the two of them shared a brief, sweet kiss. It was stunning, witnessing them together, and her breathing quickened when Mikey turned to her and captured her mouth with his.

  “You’re both leaving tonight?” he asked, his voice husky.

  “Not till the morning,” Rafe answered. “Why? What did you have in mind?”

  Mikey smiled—a scheming one that got Krissy’s toes tingling. “One more fantasy.”

  “Whose fantasy?” she asked.

  “All of ours.”

  He stroked down her arm, clasping her hand once again as he used the other to pin Rafe to the wall. Mikey kissed him, no longer sweet but full of rough passion, then cupped Rafe’s face and turned him so he was looking at Krissy.

  “Tell her what you’ve wanted,” Mikey murmured.

  Rafe’s chest heaved. His eyes darkened. He reached for Krissy, slipping out of Mikey’s grasp to pick her up. Joy bubbled inside her when he wrapped her legs around his waist and pressed her back to the wall.

  “Always,” he said, grinding against her. “Always wanted this.”

  She exhaled on a sigh. Rafe took advantage of her open mouth and kissed her, sending a tremor down her spine. When he pulled back, Mikey’s heavy-lidded expression was pure sin.

  “And I want to watch,” he said. “To start, anyway.”

  Krissy felt splotches of heat on her cheeks. Mikey crossed his arms and quirked an eyebrow. “Don’t you blush. You’re the one who brought this out in me.”

  Her hips bucked of their own volition. He and Rafe might have been the sexiest men she’d ever known, but nothing, nothing was hotter than seeing them at ease with their own desires.

  “And what happens when you’re done watching?” Rafe asked.

  Mikey didn’t answer. Just ran a hand over Rafe’s back, sliding it lower until his pelvis made the same involuntary jerk Krissy’s did.

  Rafe shuddered. “Oh, fuck yes.”

  Hooking her heels firmly over his ass, he carried Krissy to the bed and laid her down beneath him.

  “You packed the lube?” Mikey asked as he pulled his shirt off.

  Rafe groaned. “Inside pocket of my bag.”

  Then Rafe kissed her. Pushed her sweatshirt up and tugged it off, her bottoms next, his own clothes too. He slipped her glasses off her face, then reached for Mikey’s.

  “Guess I’d bett
er get used to this,” Rafe said with a smile, but after he’d placed both pairs on the nightstand, he looked down at her with reverence. Asking her permission.

  Every inch of her nerve endings was on fire when she said, “Make me fly, Rafe.”

  Mikey climbed onto the bed and handed over a condom. When Rafe took it from him, Mikey slid a hand over her hip, then stroked downward, testing her slickness with a swipe over her clit and the plunge of a single finger. Rafe knelt between her legs, and Mikey made himself comfortable, pulling his hand back and propping himself up on the other. Krissy sucked back a breath when Rafe pressed inside her, one perfect inch at a time.

  “Krissy,” he said softly, his forehead sinking down to meet her collarbone.

  Mikey hummed approvingly, one hand in his briefs, fist making lazy strokes beneath the fabric. Rafe took one look at Mikey and bit off a moan, then focused back on her as he started to move.

  He didn’t rush, sliding in and out in long, deep thrusts Krissy couldn’t help but rise up to meet. It felt so good—Rafe finally inside her, Mikey by their side, his grin wide like it was Christmas Day.

  She urged him faster. Rafe choked out a grunt. “Slow down, sweetheart. I’m not gonna last if you keep that up.”

  Mikey rose to his knees, eyes flashing. “That’s the idea.”

  Krissy quivered, her insides going molten over his words even as her heart swelled. It was something they’d all said at one point—each of them wanting to get the others off, to drive them wild, dredging up their kinkiest desires and reveling in the aftermath. But what the three of them were about to give each other wasn’t just sex. It was everything.

  Mikey shed the rest of his clothes and positioned himself at the foot of the bed. Rafe’s thrusts slowed even more at the sound of the lube bottle popping open and the rip of another condom wrapper. He cursed and shivered, his breath washing hot along Krissy’s neck. Over Rafe’s shoulder, she caught a look of absolute concentration on Mikey’s face, the subtle movements of his shoulder as his arm flexed. She could hear the wet noises of his finger moving.

  “Tell me if it’s too much,” Mikey said. “Don’t want to hurt you.”

  “Not gonna—ohh.” Rafe’s moan vibrated through her. He slid his arms under hers to grip the pillow. The mattress dipped, and Krissy’s lungs went tight with anticipation as she spread her legs wider.

  “Good thing I’ve got all that dance training,” she teased. “Super flexibility.”

  Rafe laughed against her cheek. “Just, hold still a minute,” he pleaded. “You feel so good, you both feel so…oh God.”

  He pinched his eyes shut and panted out several breaths, his head bowing with the unmistakable pleasure of Mikey easing inside him.

  “Shit…I can’t believe…so fucking tight,” Mikey said. Then, more quietly, “You okay?”

  The rough timbre of his voice had Krissy grasping at Rafe’s back, nails digging into his skin in her effort not to move. Mikey’s hands were on Rafe’s waist, their legs all entwined, the three of them holding still and trembling.

  Rafe nodded. “Stay with me, Mikey.” Every inch of him was shaking when he slid his hips back and exhaled. “Okay. Move, both of you, now.”

  He rolled into her again, and after a few jerky thrusts and whispered curses, the three of them found a rhythm.

  Their noises were a harmony of pleasure, Krissy’s high-pitched whimpers offset by masculine groans, sensual mmms and oh yeahs that switched when one of them arched forward and the other dragged out. The combination of all their body heat had sweat pooling along Krissy’s thighs and in the crevices behind her knees, their bodies so close that every tilt of Rafe’s hips put pressure on her clit. She needed more direct contact to come, but her release took a backseat when Mikey started moving faster and Rafe’s hand flew backward to grasp Mikey’s.

  “Don’t,” Rafe said sharply. “It’s too good, I’m gonna—” His jaw dropped open, his thrusts going fast and sloppy. “Damn it. Mikey, Krissy…fuck.”

  He went rigid, his shoulders hiking up to his ears as he moaned. One hard shake of his entire torso, and he collapsed against her.

  “Sorry,” he said meekly, then kissed her cheek. “Thank you.”

  “Love you,” she whispered back.

  Rafe’s hiss was the sign of Mikey pulling out of him. He rolled to Krissy’s side, his breathing still fast when he glanced up at Mikey.

  Mikey’s face was flushed, his smile sly and bright, looking positively exhilarated over what he’d done. The two men shared a quick kiss, then Rafe disposed of his condom and handed Mikey a fresh foil package.

  God, yes. Mikey went back on his heels and switched condoms with shaky hands.

  “Get her ready for me, Rafe.”

  “Oh, she’s ready,” he drawled, a bit of that southern accent creeping back in as he palmed her belly. His fingers dipped and swirled, one pinky swiping lower to graze her back entrance. “Maybe one day Mikey and I will take you together. What would you think of that?”

  She panted, writhing from Rafe’s touch and the idea that they’d be doing this again. That a future of this was ahead of her. “One day.”

  Mikey braced his arms on either side of her. His hair flopped over his eyes as he hovered over her, sunlight coming in the window and making a halo on the crown of his head.

  “I love you,” he said. “I’m so happy you came.”

  Pure delight. No other words for it. “I love you too. But I haven’t come yet.”

  He gave her a snarky grin. “I think we can fix that.”

  There was no preamble, just him filling her and starting a quick pounding, speeding them both toward the edge. Rafe drew Krissy’s arms over her head, anchoring them to the pillow with one hand as he read her body’s cues with the other, rubbing fast.

  “A week of pure deviance,” he mused. “Who would’ve thought it could end in love.”

  Krissy let go and they caught her, Mikey swallowing both their moans with a kiss.

  When they’d curled up on either side of her and had panted back to quiet, Mikey sat up and looked around the room. “There’s one more thing I need from you guys before you leave.”

  Krissy quirked an eyebrow at Rafe. “What’s that?”

  “We’ve got a ton of laundry to do.”

  Chapter Fourteen

  April 20th: Feeling excited today, and a little nervous. Can’t wait to see Mikey.

  Krissy saved the journal entry on her phone and looked out the airplane window. The landing pattern into Portland Jetport had taken them over the Atlantic, and she’d smiled as soon as she saw the coast dotted with boats, blue water sparkling in the early morning sun.

  Her phone buzzed with a text.

  You landed yet?

  Rafe checking on her, even from hundreds of miles away. Just got in. Quick flight too. Only a little over an hour.

  It had seemed silly, flying north out of LaGuardia just to turn around and drive back south, but she hadn’t wanted Mikey to travel all the way to New York alone.

  Good. Give Mikey a kiss for me. Bring him home safely.

  She sent back a kiss emoticon and pocketed her phone. The tour was in the Midwest now but would be on the East Coast next month. She and Mikey already had tickets to a Pennsylvania show.

  Her heart raced as the plane stopped and the passengers disembarked. Krissy took several calming breaths. It was different, having positive feelings to combat the anxiety. Now that she’d found a new balance of meds, remembering how she’d been before was like looking through a dirty window. Muddy, with every day pulling her forward in a blur of words and gravity, her thoughts too loud for her to hear herself.

  She’d learned how to start listening.

  The journal was one of the new habits she’d started once she switched therapists. No more mood app or check-ins with her parents. Now she was responsible for
keeping track of her own thoughts, but her parents had a login to the diary, agreeing to only use it if it looked like she was slipping. She’d started a new treatment called EMDR, a psychotherapy involving sound and light to help manage her triggers.

  She’d also stopped avoiding the word crazy. Fearing a word didn’t help her deal with it, and she’d sent her old college roommate a long email to explain what had happened, discovering the power in taking ownership for her actions. Dance had replaced yoga—she’d begun training once again at her childhood ballet studio, and she’d tiptoed back into acting by giving voice lessons and doing some community theater. NYU was on hold until the fall, and she’d be taking it slow. No full course loads, and a part-time job to bring balance to her life.

  And when she had trouble finding it, she had Rafe and Mikey.

  She sprinted out of the gate, her carry-on over her shoulder. As she raced toward baggage claim, she could make out Mikey’s form in the crowd. His grin widened as she got closer, and then he was scooping her up in his arms and twirling her around. He kissed her before she had a chance to say a word, and she laughed when their glasses clicked together.

  “I missed you so much,” he breathed against her mouth.

  “Me too.” She passed a hand through his hair. The floppy locks were now layered and spiked, the round frames he’d worn traded for more fashionable ones. “Rafe’s gonna love this cut.”

  He blushed. “You’ve both already seen it.”

  “Not in real life.”

  Three-way Skype calls several times a week had kept them connected. Not all of them had been PG-13. Mikey had gotten really comfortable with the whole voyeurism thing.

  He clasped her hand and led her outside. A U-Haul truck waited in the short-term lot.

  “Okay, let me see it,” she said as soon as they slid in the cab.

  Mikey lifted the sleeve of his shirt, revealing a smaller version of Rafe’s tattoo on his upper arm. Krissy clapped and then hiked up her pant leg. The same design was on her ankle.

  Mikey fingers were light over the image drawn on her skin. “He’s going to love these.”