Once Upon A [Fallen] Time

by Samreen Ahsan

  I helped Emma drink the tea, sip by sip, as her breathing settled down. I rubbed the oil on her back by sneaking my hand under her peasant dress, while she continued to finish her tea. The other children were watching silently. Once Emma’s breathing had returned to normal, I helped her stand.

  “Are you feeling better now?” I asked her.

  “Are you a doctor?” she asked.

  I smiled and pulled her into my embrace. “No, darling, but I will take care of you.”

  She looked up, tears welling up in her dark brown eyes. She looked just like Veronica. “Mother used to take care of me like this.”

  I bent down and kissed her forehead. “I know,” I kissed her again. “You can call me your mother.” A hope sparked in her eyes. “I will always be there… I promise.”

  “He will not kill you?” she asked—eyebrows knitted.

  “He didn’t even kill your mother, Emma,” I smiled again. “He cannot kill anyone.”

  “Then who killed my mother?” I broke eye contact and looked around the children who were moving closer to Emma. “Answer me, who killed my mother?” It seemed like all the children wanted to know.

  I wanted to say that it had been King Stefan who had killed her mother, but I didn’t dare. These children would never visit the castle again.

  “Fate…” I looked at her. “Fate took your mother away. But never think you’re alone. She is always watching you from Heaven and she sent me down to take care of you.”

  “Have you met her?” she inquired.

  “Yes,” I looked up towards the long red drapes. I knew Edward was there and could hear me. “She told me to take care of you and your Uncle Edward.” Emma’s expression turned sour, making it clear that she didn’t like this idea. “And she wanted you to come back to your Uncle Edward.” She pulled away from my embrace and took a step back. I knelt down again to come to her level. “He loves you, Emma, and he cannot smile if you’re not around. I promise no one will harm you here. I will keep you safe with me in this castle.”

  She looked around at her cousins who were also contemplating my words.

  The children gathered closer. I stood up and looked around the crowd. “I promise nothing will happen to any of you. You’re not alone. If you have any problem, you can always come to talk to your friend.”

  There was a smile I had been waiting, to appear on their faces—a sense of security. These children needed protection.

  “Can I come to you when I don’t want to have pottage?” The girl, who had shown her dislike for pottage earlier, asked me. I laughed at her question.

  “Yes, anytime!” I looked around the hall. “You can visit me anytime you want. I will ask Prince Edward to make sure you all are allowed to visit the castle anytime.” The children huddled closely around and hugged me, followed by hugging each other. I swore to never break the bond I had created with these children today. As much as my days were numbered in this castle, I vowed to provide them with the sense of protection they didn’t receive from their dreaded parents.

  “Now, all of you, listen to me very carefully,” I gathered the children’s attention. “We will play, learn, sing, and dance every day.” I looked around. “You will visit me every morning at the same time even if you’re sick. I can take care of you here.” I looked at the boy who disliked bean soup. “If you don’t like the bean soup, that’s okay. You can come to me and I’ll feed you something better.” I promised to make sure these children were fed properly and did not face malnutrition and for that, I would have to convince King Stefan to set up the table for the children after their learning session. “Who is hungry right now? Raise your hands!” I asked. All children rose their hands; they were all hungry.

  Oh, poor kids!

  “Okay!” I said. “Follow me to the kitchen—let’s see what we have there to eat.” Edward came out from behind the curtain. I signalled him towards the kitchen, indicating I was going there. The children followed me like as if I were Pied Piper. I had seen this kitchen in the twenty-first century but never had a chance to visit it when it was a fully functioning one.

  As soon as I entered the kitchen, a woman bowed respectfully. “Good morning, Lady Farrow.” It seemed like everyone in the castle knew my name.

  “Good morning.” She was a bulky woman in her fifties, a white apron tied around her brown peasantry dress. “May I know your name?” She actually reminded me of Mrs Patmore from Downton Abbey. How miraculously one could resemble the person in medieval era?

  “My name is Victoria, Lady Farrow.” She bowed one more time. Why were they bowing in front of me? I was no royalty. “Do you desire anything from the kitchen, Your Grace?”

  “As a matter of fact, I do.” I walked over to the wooden counter and placed my hand on it. The last time I had touched this counter had been when I had visited the castle for game shoots. “The children are hungry. I need food for them.” I looked around the busy kitchen. I wondered how I hadn’t seen any of these servants in the castle before. “Since there was so much food on the table for breakfast for only three people, I’m sure we have enough food to feed these children.”

  The woman watched me skeptically. “I do not have the king’s permission to feed anyone outside the table.” Her voice was shaky; I was sure she was afraid to refuse me. But she was only doing her job. “The food we prepared for the table is only for royalty.”

  “Then you can seek permission from Prince Edward,” I gestured towards Edward, who was standing at the kitchen’s entrance—watching the scene. All the children craned their necks to get a glimpse of Edward, and their faces lost their colour in fear. I was sure they had lost their appetites too.

  “Your Highness,” Victoria bowed to greet Edward, her face full of surprise. I was certain this was the first time he had ever come into the kitchen.

  “Do whatever Lady Farrow is asking,” he commanded and turned around to leave.

  “We’d be honoured if you joined us for the breakfast, Your Highness,” I called out to him. “See…” I looked towards the children. “I told you, you don’t have to fear Prince Edward.” Edward turned around to acknowledge my voice. “Now when you have breakfast with him—you’ll see how nice he is,” I assured children with my smile. They were still expressionless.

  Don’t walk away! Don’t walk away! I recited the mantra, wishing Edward could hear it. He was as expressionless as the children.

  From my visits to the castle with Steve, I knew there was another dining area behind this kitchen. I believed it was designed to feed the servants. There was a long wooden table, surrounded with wooden benches on both sides to accommodate fifty people if they sat close to each other, and I was certain it was capable of accommodating all the children.

  The children followed me as I led them towards the dining area. I settled the children on the benches and walked back to the kitchen where Victoria was setting up to serve them.

  I picked up the stoneware dish of boiled eggs we hadn’t finished earlier. There were hungry children in the village and the king wasted so much food every day.

  My goodness! This man will certainly rot in Hell. He is beyond redemption.

  As I turned around to head back to the dining area, Victoria stopped me. “Please, let me do it, Your Grace.” She took the plate from me. “You are His Majesty’s guest.”

  “That’s all right, Victoria. I don’t mind helping.” I took the dish back from her. “Being a guest doesn’t mean I can’t do any work.” I smiled at her, which brought back the colour of her skin. “Your Highness.” I looked at Edward, who hadn’t moved from his spot at the entrance. “Please, join us.” When he didn’t move so much as a muscle, I walked back to the dining area, not knowing if he’d join us or not.

  The children’s faces lit up as soon as I brought the dish of boiled eggs, followed by Victoria who brought bread and cheese to the table. The second round served pastries, tarts, and other sweet delights. The children devoured the food as if they were eating this much for th
e first time and wouldn’t get this chance again.

  I leaned against the giant wooden hutch table, where the extra plates and utensils were kept, my palms placed on the table behind me. Edward quietly entered the dining room and stood beside me as he watched the children helping themselves to as much food as they could stomach. They didn’t even notice Edward’s presence.

  “Where is King Stefan?” I asked out of curiosity.

  “Hunting,” he replied, raking his fingers through his hair. “He will probably return by sunset.”

  “Do you see what I see, Edward?” I kept my voice low, so as not to distract the children from eating. He observed the children patiently, but I knew he was mainly looking at Emma who was also busy eating. Although Edward had always provided food and money for her, the way she was eating, it seemed like she was also deprived of food like the other children. I wondered where her money and food were going. Was she not getting enough nutrition? I bit my tongue so I wouldn’t ask Edward anything that might hurt him. He did the best he could do, but the expression on his face was that of a broken man. I knew he was blaming himself. No matter if he admitted it or not, you could see it in his eyes; they were the window to his soul.

  Right now, he despised his existence. Emma was supposed to grow up in this castle and should have received proper food and care, but fate had brought something else for her. Instead of living here, she was forced to live a life of a peasant. Now, watching his niece eating food as if she hadn’t eaten for a long time, I knew Edward’s heart was tearing apart. I could sense he was seizing his emotions to flow through his eyes. He had mastered to conceal his feelings for a very long time.

  I didn’t need to look at him to know what he was feeling. His heartbeat was giving me all the signals. Suddenly, I felt his hand on mine. I looked at our entwined hands and glanced at him. He was still watching Emma.

  “Thank you for taking care of her.” His eyes were full of remorse—defeated by the past. He wanted to change the past, bring back his sister, bring back whatever he had lost—but he couldn’t. And that was what sliced his heart. “I don’t know what would have happened if that had occurred at her aunt’s house.” He knitted his eyebrows. “Do you have healing powers too?”

  “I wish I had, Edward,” I smiled. “It was just the knowledge. My grandmother had asthma too and that was how she was treated.”

  “Will she ever get cured?” he asked, his voice full of fatherly concern.

  “I can’t say that, but she needs proper care and attention.” I met his gaze. “I’m keeping her here with me.” I sighed. “I don’t think King Stefan would even care if she stayed here. He wouldn’t even know. Anyways, he ordered the child to stay inside the castle earlier, so she won’t leave the castle.” I shrugged. Edward looked at me, stunned. “What? Why are you looking at me like that?” He blinked. “You think I don’t know what happened that day?” I could hear Edward’s heart beating faster. “I’ve read everything that happened to you, Edward. Don’t be so shocked every time I tell you something about your past.” He still stared, obviously flabbergasted. He lifted his hand from mine, and created space between us.

  “I’m going for a ride,” he announced and left the dining area before any child could notice him.

  I wanted to run after him, forcing him to talk to me, but I couldn’t leave the children at the mercy of Victoria. But the parents were waiting outside on the ground for their children, so perhaps if the children hurried up, I could still catch up with Edward before he could ride off.

  “All right, children. Hurry up. Finish your food,” I announced. “Your parents are waiting outside.”

  “But we haven’t finished yet,” one boy argued.

  “Please, hurry up. You’ll get food every day. Don’t worry.” I wanted to cherish the children’s joy forever, but I had to chase Edward and talk to him. He needed to open up more to me—that was the only way he could have closure.

  Besides, I wasn’t sure at what time King Stefan would return, and I didn’t want to risk him seeing the poor children eating his food.

  The children finished their breakfasts quickly and followed me to the barren grounds where their parents were waiting. I didn’t have time to watch their reunions or to talk to Emma’s aunt today.

  I had to talk to Edward first. And then convince him to go see Emma’s aunt at her house and bring Emma back. This seemed like the proper way to proceed. They needed to mend things first, and this castle was not a suitable place to make it happen.

  I hurried towards the stable before Edward could leave for a ride.

  This time… I would make him talk to me.

  This time… I promised to open his heart.

  This time… I swore to tear his soul apart.

  “Do not be afraid; our fate

  Cannot be taken from us; it is a gift.”

  ― Dante Alighieri, Inferno

  CHAPTER 16

  EDWARD

  JUNE 13th 1415

  This woman would certainly ruin me one day. I had promised myself not to kiss her again but shit… she was a drug that was already in me… a potent that I could never quit.

  She’d kissed me back with equal compassion, with much more love than I deserved.

  With that kiss, she had given me everything I had craved my entire life, and in that moment, I had promised I’d kill anyone in order to protect her. Even if it involved killing myself, but I swore she would not get a single scratch on her body while she was in my protection.

  I walked out of the rear door of the kitchen that led to the backside of the castle, towards the stable. I wanted to breathe in the fresh air. Each day with her was chaos, rattling every fibre of my body and soul. She had the ultimate power to strip me bare and make me rot in purgatory forever, but goddammit she also had the power to breathe life into my dead soul. I had never thought I’d ever had the courage to bring Emma back to the castle or would be able to convince her to let me look after her. I knew I had lost her trust because I had killed her mother, but I couldn’t believe that Myra had taken care of her so affectionately that Emma actually thought Myra had met Veronica. Or had she really met V in heaven? Was she truly an angel from heaven?

  The children were so in awe of her—the way she had taught them, the way she had made them speak, joke, laugh, and fed them—they were totally besotted with her. I could be the future king of England, but she’d rule my heart forever. Even if I ruled the entire world, I could never make children love me the way they had loved her. Would she really bring Emma back to the castle? Would she really keep her with us and look after her?

  I took vigorous strides to reach the stables where Ulysses neighed, acknowledging my presence. I needed to run away for now—as far as I could. She had said she wanted to bring Emma home. I was not ready to face the child in my own chamber. I was not ready to face King Stefan’s bullshit regarding this child again. I was not ready for Emma to go through all of it again… living in fear.

  Dammit!

  I was not ready for Myra to take any risk and go against King Stefan’s decision. I knew what the bastard was capable of. He had ruined my past, he had tortured my presence, and now he wanted to steal my dream too. There was no bloody way I would let him invade my dream. He could take away the wealth, throw me in the darkness, take out my soul from my body, and freeze my heart—but I would not let him enjoy my dream. She was mine—mine to dream, mine to fantasize. I would not give that bastard the privilege to hope—hope for redemption. He thought she was there for him? But he didn’t know that if she had the power to weave a fantasy, she had the power to drive us to Hell too. I was ready for both, but I knew my father was only looking for hope.

  I changed my boots and approached Ulysses to adjust the saddle. King Stefan was not supposed to return till sunset, so it was the perfect time to go for a ride without her and not worrying about her wellbeing. The stableman checked my horse before I could take it out of the stable.

  “If anyone asks for me, just say I’l
l return by sunset,” I commanded the servant. He nodded, bowed, and walked away. Just as I was pulling Ulysses out of the stall, I heard footsteps running towards the stable. I looked up at the entrance to find Myra breathing heavily.

  “Where are you going?” She was catching her breath. Her beautiful dark brown curls draped flawlessly across her marble skin.

  I focused on examining my horse to avoid eye contact with her. “I told you… I was going for a ride.”

  “No, you don’t!” She walked slowly towards me. “You’ll sit down and talk to me.”

  “I have nothing to say,” I snapped, but I didn’t dare look at her.

  “But I have something to say and you will listen to me,” she said, her tone commanding and urgent. She walked closer to me—my heart sped up.

  Shit! What the hell does she do to my heart?

  “Edward.” She placed her hand on my shoulder. “Please… don’t run away like this.”

  “I will return by sunset.” I knew she was not talking about me going for a ride, but I had nothing else to say.

  “You know what I’m talking about, Edward,” she said softly. “I want to keep Emma with me.” She placed her warm hand on my face. “I want to look after her.” I closed my eyes for a moment and let her touch me. Her touch was soothing, healing—something I had never experienced before. Warmth of sun and joy of rain tumbling together in my body—my soul took a flight and soared high into the sky—just one touch of her hand had shown me the stars I had not witnessed all my life.

  Without opening my eyes, I turned my face away to escape from what she was offering me. I knew she was here for me—for my atonement—but should I drive her to Hell in my hope for redemption? Should I be so selfish to throw her into the same darkened pit in which my soul had been rotting for ages?

  No! She didn’t deserve to live in Hell. She was born to live in Heaven—with beautiful bright lights and all the delights nature could offer.

  “Edward.” She placed her hand on my shoulder again to gain my attention. “I promise I’d stay with you… no matter what.” She didn’t know what she was promising. “I love—”