by Anna Antonia
“I understand now why you wouldn’t call the police.”
I raised a brow in question. Chancing an assumption could undo all my work.
“Calling the police would force you to share everything—jeopardizing Bridgewater National. The investigation would cause the stock to plummet. Thousands of people would lose their jobs. It would be catastrophic.”
Pained pride caused me to take her mouth for mine. She’d connected the dots I’d painted beautifully.
Risa moaned. She scored her teeth across my bottom lip. It stung but not nearly as much as her pulling away.
“Damian?”
“Yes, my love?”
“I understand now why you didn’t want me to contact Elaine. The phone was probably tracked. But what do she and Thomas think of all this? You’ve been out of the country for days. They have to be frantic with worry by now.”
Seeing how intently Risa looked at me, I didn’t dare clench my jaw. “They’re aware of protocol. The firm I hired is serving as a conduit.”
Risa ran her hand down my arm. It was quick. Nervous. “Remember when you said you were going to wipe them…those people…off the face of the earth? Do you just mean the grandson…or…uh…I mean…”
“No innocent is going to be hurt, Risa. I promise you.”
Except you.
Strange how my conscience decided to make an unnecessary appearance. Risa wasn’t going to be hurt by my deceit because she was never going to find out.
Period.
Her slim fingers lingered on my wrist. “Are you sure there’s no other way?”
“Such as?”
“Maybe you could plant evidence of his wrongdoing so the police can then put him in jail.”
“Risa, his family has a great deal of money and power. No charges will ever stick.”
“I see. It’s just…” She sighed and bit her lip. “I wish there was another way. Something less permanent than death.”
My sweet, sweet girl.
“This man is backed into a corner and he knows it. He won’t allow for a civilized resolution. People like him use murder as just another tool.”
“To go to these lengths means he’s done it before.” Risa’s gaze hardened. “No one just kills unless they already have it in them.”
She had no idea she’d just condemned me with truth.
Would you look at me the same way if you really knew who my people are?
I didn’t have to wonder. I knew. Risa could never love the man I’d become if life had gone differently.
“What’s his name?”
I shook my head. “This I will not share. Plausible deniability won’t work if you know, understand?”
Risa’s mouth compressed into a tight line before relaxing. “Okay.” A sickly smile appeared. “I honestly don’t really want to know. It’s scary that some deranged asshole is out there plotting your death, but knowing his name makes it real.” She flung her hand in the air. “That doesn’t make sense. I’m sorry.”
“Ssh, little girl. You don’t have to apologize for anything. Especially your feelings.”
The tub faucet automatically shut off. The silence overwhelmed.
Risa shifted closer. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. Your feelings matter to me. Always.” This much was the truth.
She reached for my hand and lifted it to her mouth. “That’s not what I’m thanking you for.”
“What then?”
Running her lips across the knuckles, Risa said, “I love you. Thank you for being so good to me.”
And this was the moment when I realized I’d just done more than sell my soul.
I’d also sold hers.
39
RISA
If I expected Damian to be pleased by my appreciation, I was sorely wrong. Unguarded grief imprinted itself on his face.
“You would call this being good to you, Risa? My poor sweet girl. She wants so little in life when she deserves so much more.”
Damian was so wrong. “All I want is you. You’re all I’ve ever wanted, all I’ll ever want.”
My words didn’t please because he kissed my forehead solemnly. “One day I’ll make all of this up to you. I swear it.”
“It’s not your fault, Damian. There’s nothing for you to apologize for.” I placed two fingers on his lips. “I mean it.”
I wished he’d smile. Reaching up, I brushed his hair back like I itched to do earlier. Damian had given up so much today. I understood how hard it’d been for him to share the burden of information.
To think he’d been holding onto all of this himself. I’d have gone crazy if it was me!
Later I’d tell him how proud I was of him for letting me in. Later I’d thank him for taking a chance on trusting me.
“What next, Damian?”
“We continue as we were. Waiting until all the loose ends are taken care of and then it’s over.”
I didn’t let myself dwell on what “all the loose ends are taken care of” meant. It was enough that an end lay on the horizon. I didn’t need to judge how it got there. Not after knowing some psychopath was trying to kill us both over something as foul as money.
Leaning my head against his chest, I confessed, “I can’t wait until we can go home and start our lives again.”
“Together?”
“Together.”
In a rare moment of vulnerability, Damian cleared his throat. I looked up in time to watch him quietly ask, “Does this mean you forgive me for…for everything?”
His uncertainty moved me in a way his typical control and confidence couldn’t. Damian exposed his underbelly and I’d take care to protect it even while honoring mine.
“What happened between us hurt, and it probably will every now and then, but yes. I absolutely forgive you.”
Even though he got the answer he’d been courting, Damian still looked thunderstruck. “Why?”
“Because my pride isn’t worth throwing you away. Us away. I forgot that for a little while but I remember it now. God, especially now. You mean the world to me, Damian, and I’m not going to lose you.”
Damian closed his eyes. His throat worked for several moments before he spoke in a hoarse whisper, “I don’t deserve your forgiveness, but I thank you for it.”
That wasn’t even almost true.
Damian deserved everything good the world had to offer. How could I convince him otherwise?
I lunged against him, knocking Damian off-balance until he hit the wall. Then I kissed him.
Damian accepted my domination far longer than I would’ve thought considering how long it’d been for us. He remained bent to meet my diminutive height. Our lips clung sweetly. Damian held me and I felt his love flow through me. I was his precious girl, the one woman he loved above all others.
I was his and he was mine.
Then it wasn’t enough.
I needed the delicious violence that once marked our intimacy a lifetime ago.
Suddenly, I sunk my teeth into Damian’s bottom lip. He hissed and pulled back, letting go of me completely. We studied each other for long, aching moments. When Damian spoke, it was in a soft, even tone.
“Are you sure you want this?”
“Yes.”
“Once I take control, I won’t be giving it back until I’m ready. Be very sure you want all of me, Risa.”
I wanted it more than anything. Legs trembling and stomach fluttering with anticipation, I was just about to come out of my skin.
“I’m yours, Sir.”
Damian’s hand tightened hard around my arm. He pulled me onto my tip-toes. “As my little girl?”
There was more than just the simple question of consent.
“I wanted answers, Damian. Not to throw any of this away. I’m your partner and equal outside the bedroom. But in here…I’m whatever you want me to be.”
He muttered three words, barely audible to my ear. “Champagne and candlelight.”
When he still didn’t make
a move, I fulfilled the one thing he asked of me.
“Please, Damian. Please, please make me yours. I’m. Begging. You.”
Damian’s head dropped back. He rolled it from one side and then the other, visibly releasing tension. He sighed my name and looked back at me. Damian’s eyes, gorgeous in their otherness, glowed with satisfaction. His beautiful mouth split in a feral grin.
“You’re in big, big trouble and I can’t wait to show you just how much.”
40
I sagged against Damian, shamelessly excited by what was going to come next.
He roughly pulled my head back. I let out a cry of surprise that was cut off by his aggressive kiss. Melting into his hard frame, I didn’t care if I never drew breath again as long as Damian’s tongue filled my mouth.
Each sweep was a rough promise of the hours to come and I couldn’t wait.
He roughly pushed me away. I stumbled, barely catching myself.
Damian stood up straighter, making for an immense giant. He said my name once. It was cold, but beneath the two syllables I felt the hidden forge of his passion.
“Go to my room. Stand by the bed, hands behind you. Don’t take your clothes off.”
Liquid honey stained my panties. I was so hot for Damian and he hadn’t even touched me yet. I didn’t know how I’d stand it.
Tummy tight with tension, I left the room and practically scurried into his. It was dark, shadowed, and in perfect order. Although I hadn’t really spent any time here, it already felt like home. I sniffed. The subtle scents of his cologne teased my nose. It calmed the frantic thrumming coursing through my veins.
I found my place next to the bed as instructed. Crossing my arms behind my back, I clutched my palms tightly. It had been so long since Damian, my Damian, touched me. According to him, I’d transgressed against his will too many times to count.
Did he plan on taking it out on me all at once?
My heart slammed. Excitement dried my mouth. Shifting in place, I closed my eyes and imagined Damian coming into the room.
Would he simply stand there and watch me for an hour, knowing I’d get so wet and impatient for him?
Or would he have me bend over the bed, spread my legs, and finger myself for his amusement?
Damian might order to my knees, mouth open for his inspection before shoving his hard cock inside, choking me as he face-fucked me for being a bad girl.
I shuddered, pressing my legs tighter. I loved his tenderness and worship, but I loved it more after he stripped me down into a creature made for pleasure.
His pleasure.
So lost in my lusty imaginings, I almost missed the sound of the door clicking closed.
I perfected my posture, arching my back and thrusting my ass just as Damian loved. I counted his measured footsteps, losing my composure a bit more with each count.
Six…seven…oh god…eight…
Damian finally came to a stop behind me. He stood there breathing softly while I couldn’t hide his jagged effect on me. A hiss escaped when Damian dragged a knuckle down my spine.
“How long have you wanted this?”
“Since forever,” I whispered like a crazed devotee.
Damian made a sound deep in his throat, a cross between a growl and laughter. He leaned close and kissed my bare shoulder while sliding a hand around my waist.
“And yet you denied me for days, little girl. What am I supposed to make of that?”
I licked my lips. “I don’t know.”
Damian’s palm pressed hard against my stomach, pushing me back against him. His thick shaft branded me with anticipation. I ached to hold it, nuzzle it with my lips, feel it slap against my cheeks while I chased after it with my hungry mouth…
Damian licked a path up my neck. “It makes you a tease or a liar. Which one are you?”
A small cry bubbled up. “Neither.”
My devilish lover bit down. I gasped, arching harder.
“Try again, little girl,” he whispered against the damp, aching flesh.
Looking up at the ceiling, I joyfully suffered the open-mouthed kisses meant to distract me. Damian kept his hand right over my pubic bone while the other closed over my throat.
He didn’t squeeze, not yet, but the beautiful threat pushed me on my tip-toes. I fisted my hands to keep from running them down his hard thighs.
I wanted to draw this out for as long as possible.
This addiction to control, pain, and ecstasy was the secret of us. No one would know us like this.
And I loved carrying it with me with every beat of my heart and breath in my body.
Opening my eyes, I waited until Damian stood higher to look down at me. The soul-taking gorgeousness of his gaze beckoned me to fall.
So I did.
“I’m whatever you want me to be. Make me, break me, love me—just say I’m yours.”
Damian’s brows arched ever-so-slightly. His nostrils flared almost too quickly to notice.
“You’re so good, Risa. So. Very. Good.” He pushed my neck until I leaned my head back further. Our mouths parted, so close and yet not enough. “You’ve possessed me. Did you know that?”
Before I could answer, the time for civilized kindness came to an end.
Damian grabbed me roughly by the hair and turned me towards him. His mouth captured mine while his body crashed against me. He consumed me whole.
I wanted more of this wild beast. I needed him to make me scream as he tore me apart.
Beautiful madness. Adored violence.
His hands became a flurry as they tore the remaining clothes right off my body. Damian imprinted on my naked skin. He touched every part of me he could, never spending more than a few seconds in one place.
My nerve endings burned alive. It was too much and never enough.
“Fuck me…please!” My mouth swallowed his answer. I reached for his zipper, yanking it down with crazed aggression. Damian gripped my wrist and pulled me away.
“Not yet.”
I bared my teeth. “Why not?”
He met my snarl with a smile. “Who controls this, Risa? Not you.”
Twitching, I reached for Damian again. “Just let me suck you off. You know I can make it good.”
He closed his eyes for a moment. I knew he imagined the feel of my lips around his thick length, the perfect suction I created…
“Who controls this?”
“Please.”
“Who controls this?”
Defeated—only for the moment—I answered properly. “You do, Sir.”
“That’s right, bad girl.” Damian left me to sit on the side of the bed. He patted the spot next to him. “Come here.”
My thighs pressed so hard I shook. I recognized the dark little smile teasing his perfect mouth.
“Yes.”
An arch of a brow. “Yes what?”
There was just enough threat there to make it so fucking sexy. I could push, be saucy, and defy him. I chose another path.
“Yes, Sir.”
“Good girl.”
Damian’s purr sent chills throughout me. Limbs tingling with every sweep of his heavy-lidded gaze, I replayed those two words with each step I took towards him.
Good girl.
Good. Girl.
Good.
Girl.
I took his hand. A quick tug and Damian pulled me up onto the bed. Naturally, I curled towards him, leg sliding over his knee and head finding its spot against his chest. Damian scraped his nails across my back, sending a scattering of goosebumps to rise over me.
It felt so good to have his hand touch me gently, but this quiet moment made the anticipation pull me apart even harder.
His gentleness never lasted and I didn’t want it to. Not today. Not after the rollercoaster I’d been on since he left me that long-ago night in France.
As if he heard my heart’s secret yearning, Damian cupped my chin. His eyes drew me in. “You’ve been such a good girl during these months, Risa. So, so good…
”
“But I’ve been bad too.”
“Yes. Very bad.”
I leaned closer. My breath quickened. I craved my sins’ inventory. I needed to be punished so I could be give it voice and let out all the fear, loneliness, and misery I’d locked up for so long.
I could be a brat and force his hand. Or I could trust him to give me exactly what I needed.
Damian feathered kisses against the corner of my mouth. “Would you like to tell me how bad?”
I curled my fingers. Swallowing past the sudden lump in my throat, I tested the boundaries by moving my head. Damian’s fingers dug into my chin. He wasn’t going to let me hide my emotions.
Relief flowed through me along with gratefulness.
“Yes, Sir, I would.”
“Go on then.”
“I took everything on my shoulders, treating you like an invalid. I blindly trusted Elaine’s counsel instead of my own.”
He came closer, pressing his cheek against mine briefly. “Why?”
“I doubted you,” my voice broke. “I doubted us.”
Damian pulled me closer and threaded his fingers in my hair. “What else?”
“I thought you never loved me.”
“Go on.”
His soft tone inspired more confessions.
“I thought of getting you back for not loving me like I loved you. I thought of it often. When I was in Denver I fantasized of replacing you with a different man each night.”
“Did you now?”
It would’ve been so much easier to ignore the pain in Damian’s gaze if I wasn’t forced to see it for myself.
Blinking through a flood of tears, I said, “Yes. Every night.”
“What stopped you?”
I cut my attention to the side only for Damian to growl my name.
“What. Stopped. You.”
Fixated on the raw pain in his face, I had only one truth.
“You, Damian. The memories of you stopped me because you are irreplaceable. I can’t see anyone else because you’re all there is for me. I’ve never been in love before you and now I know why. I’ve waited for you my whole life.”
He exhaled. The shaky cadence echoed mine. He let go of my hair and placed his large hand on the middle of my back. I obeyed the subtle pressure and draped myself across his lap. Damian adjusted me, moving my hair off my face, and then we sat there in silence.
