To Love and to Cherish

by Leigh Greenwood

  “Hundreds of people die on that trail every year.”

  “But how many couples with three small boys who were adopted by three separate families?”

  “Why are you so anxious to find your brothers? It’s not like you don’t have family.”

  “Ever since I can remember, I’ve known I had two brothers. I’ve always felt like a part of me was missing. The need to find them grew stronger after my father and both of Steve’s parents died.”

  “I used to feel that way, too, but not anymore.”

  “So you’re not going to help me?”

  “How can I help you?”

  “You must have something from before our parents died. A toy, a blanket, something that I might remember.”

  “Didn’t you hear me say I ran away? My father beat me, and my mother tortured my mind. There wasn’t anything, but if there had been, I wouldn’t have kept it. I didn’t want anything to remind me of them. If there had been anything, they’d have destroyed it. They didn’t want me to be reminded of my family.”

  Jared was trying to come up with a counterargument when Colby spoke again.

  “What difference would it make if we were brothers? For the last twenty-nine years we’ve lived totally different and separate lives. We’re strangers who know nothing about each other. I’ll be happy to be your friend, but it would be better for both of us if you stopped trying to make us brothers. We’ll never have proof. Without it, it will just lead to a lot of frustration.”

  “I understand what you’re saying, but I can’t give up. All I ask is that you keep an open mind.”

  “I’ll do that if you won’t mention it again until you have that proof.”

  Jared wasn’t sure he could do that. “I’ll try. Now I’d better get to bed.”

  “Not so fast,” Naomi said. “I’ve got a few questions of my own.”

  “The man’s tired,” Colby said to his wife. “Let him go to bed.”

  “This won’t take long. I just want to know what he did to make Laurie work for him when she knows everybody is against it.”

  Jared had expected to face some questions, but he hadn’t expected anyone to be so direct. What could he say to convince Naomi without revealing Laurie’s secret?

  “I didn’t do anything to convince her. Actually, she came to me. The part about traveling back and forth was the only problem, but we worked it out.”

  “Laurie says she wants to be independent, but I know there’s more to it.”

  “You would have a better idea of that than I would. All I know is Laurie had a horrible marriage. Because of that, she refuses to let Norman control her the way her husband did. I don’t know why somebody in this community wasn’t able to do something about Noah and isn’t able to do anything about Norman.”

  “Those are good questions for which I don’t have answers,” Naomi said. “I tried to help Laurie—Sibyl, too—but she wouldn’t let me. I mean to do something about Norman. I haven’t decided what yet, but I’m working on it.”

  “You haven’t said anything to me about that,” Colby said.

  “Because I don’t know what I want to do. Now I think we ought to let Jared go to bed. He has to get up early in the morning.”

  “Not before light,” Colby said. “I can’t stop Laurie from working at your ranch, but I won’t have her traveling in the dark.”

  “At least that’s one thing we agree on. Now if you will show me my room, I think I would like to go to bed.”

  Jared was jealous of Colby’s house. It was bigger and better built. Cold didn’t seep in around windows and blow through cracks. The furnishings were sparse, but what they had was of good quality. It was the kind of house he wanted when he finally had enough money to get married.

  “There’s nothing in here but a bed and a chair,” Naomi said when she showed Jared to his room, “but there are enough quilts to keep you warm.” She laughed. “They haven’t been out of the trunk since we left Kentucky. I was beginning to think I’d never have to use them.”

  “Laurie said Kentucky winters could be bad.”

  “We got snow like this all the time. If you need anything, let me know. I’ll wake you. The children never sleep late. They’d miss seeing Colby if they did.”

  “Are they that crazy about him?”

  “No worse than he is about them. If they didn’t wake up, he’d wake them.”

  “When did Colby stop wanting to find his brothers?”

  “When he got a family of his own.”

  “I understand how important that must be to him, but wouldn’t he still like to find the rest of his family?”

  “I’m sure he would, but there’s no way to prove the relationship. Rather than go through more years of pain and disappointment, he wants to concentrate on what he has.”

  “I understand, but I can’t give up looking.”

  “Then you’d better look somewhere else. If you upset my husband, you’ll have to answer to me, and you won’t like that.”

  When Jared didn’t respond, Naomi left the room.

  Jared didn’t immediately get ready for bed. He was certain Colby was his younger brother. He was equally certain there was some way to prove it if he could only find it. Much to his surprise, he had no idea what he would do if he did find the proof. Twenty-nine years had passed, and Colby had been a baby when their parents died. They had no memory of each other. There was nothing to connect them beyond the knowledge that they had had the same parents. They had no shared experiences. They didn’t even know anything about each other. How would knowing they were brothers change anything?

  Jared didn’t know. He was just certain it would.

  ***

  Laurie knew she shouldn’t be spending so much time with Jared in his study, but she’d finished her work and enjoyed his company. She wasn’t especially interested in the war—it had come too close and brought too many unpleasant consequences—but she enjoyed hearing about other people and other parts of the country. Despite traveling more than a thousand miles, she felt she’d never been anywhere and didn’t know much of anything.

  “I thought about moving to Tucson when Noah died,” she told him. “I might have if Norman hadn’t withheld my money. In any case, I might not because I would hate to leave my family and friends. I don’t know anyone else.”

  “You’d make friends wherever you went,” Jared said, “but I’m glad you didn’t. I would never have gotten my Herefords.”

  “Is that all you think about, cows?” She had meant it as a joke, but she realized immediately that she’d strayed into dangerous territory. Fortunately, Jared noticed a horseman riding toward the house.

  “I wonder who that can be? It’s not one of the men, and it’s not Colby.”

  It took only one look for Laurie to know. “It’s Norman,” she said with disgust.

  “What’s he doing coming all the way out here? Do you think he changed his mind about lending me the money?”

  Laurie was certain he had an entirely different purpose. “He’s come to spy on me. He thinks me working for you is disrespectful of Noah’s memory and prejudicial to the way he sees himself.”

  “How’s that?”

  “Norman is certain he’s the most important person in Cactus Corner. As his brother’s widow, anything I do reflects on him. Working for you is just about the worst thing I could have chosen to do.”

  “Do you want me to tell him to leave?”

  “No. He’ll only corner me when I’m at home. Don’t get upset by anything he says. Nobody listens to Norman unless it’s about money.”

  “I’m not going to let him abuse you.”

  “Neither will I. I can tell him to leave. It’s a lot harder at home.”

  By this time, Norman had reached the house and dismounted.

  “That’s a beautiful horse,” Jared said to Laurie. “Where did he buy it?”

  “Somewhere in Kentucky.”

  “Do you think he’d let me use it as a stud?”

 
; “You’ll have to ask him.”

  When Jared opened the front door, Norman’s sour expression made it clear this wasn’t a social visit. “What brings you out this far?”

  Norman stalked into the house without a greeting. “I came to see exactly what my sister-in-law is up to.”

  “I’m no longer your sister-in-law,” Laurie told him from her position in the center of the hall, “and I’m not up to anything. And if I were, it wouldn’t be any of your concern.”

  Norman didn’t bother to answer her. Instead he peered into the study before crossing the hall to open the kitchen door. “I stable my horse in a barn that’s better than this,” he said to Jared. “How can you expect a decent woman to work here?”

  “I don’t live here, Norman. I just work here.”

  “It’s a disgrace. You don’t need to work.”

  “Have you changed you mind about the provisions of the will?”

  “Of course not.”

  “Then I need to work. Say what you have to say, then go. I have a supper to fix before I go home.”

  “Then why weren’t you in the kitchen?”

  “How do you know I wasn’t?”

  “I could see you through that window,” he said pointing to the parlor window overlooking the porch. “You can’t cook in there.”

  “My job is to cook and clean. However, I wasn’t doing either. I finished cleaning early, and Jared and I were talking. He was telling me about some of the places he’s been and some of the things he’s done.”

  “A woman shouldn’t be interested in things like that. Her entire focus should be on her home and family.”

  “Since I have neither, I can’t be accused of neglecting either.”

  “Where did you sleep the night it snowed?”

  “That’s none of your business.” Jared looked angry enough to throw Norman through the door.

  “I’ll tell him,” Laurie said. “If I don’t, he’ll just make something up.”

  Norman was incensed. “I’m a banker. We do not make things up.”

  “Well, see that you don’t start.” Laurie led him to Steve’s bedroom and opened the door. “This is Steve’s old room. He moved to the bunkhouse.”

  Norman sniffed in disdain. “It’s hardly bigger than a closet. Where did he sleep?”

  “I slept here.” Jared opened the door to his room. “A slightly larger closet, but adequate for my needs.”

  “That’s too close,” Norman said.

  “The house has only four rooms. There was no other choice.”

  “Don’t say I should have gone home,” Laurie warned. “Even Colby agreed it would have been dangerous. I’m surprised you’re here. It’s a long ride.”

  “Now that the sun is out and it has turned warm, the snow is melting rapidly.”

  “Which is why you needn’t have bothered. Steve and I will be back before dark tonight.”

  “I don’t like you being alone with that boy. There’s no telling what ideas he might get in his head.”

  “He’s only fifteen, but I expect you know very well what ideas get into his head. However, he’s smart enough to keep them there.”

  “Steve adores Laurie,” Jared said. “He wouldn’t let anyone hurt her.”

  “Norman knows how protective Steve can be.” Laurie smiled at the memory. “Now that you’ve seen where I work, you can go back to your bank.”

  Norman didn’t move—he even appeared to be at a loss for what to say next. He looked around as through reassessing something. Finally, he turned to Jared. “I’d like to see your ranch.”

  “Why?”

  “I might change my mind about giving you that loan.”

  “Why would you do that?” Laurie asked.

  “I haven’t said I would. I said I might.”

  “Do you think that’ll make me stop working here?”

  Norman’s attitude turned superior. “This is a financial matter. It has nothing to do with you.”

  “I think it does,” Jared said

  “I don’t see why it should.” Laurie glanced meaningfully at Jared. “I only work here.”

  Jared returned her look. “With more money, I can build a bigger house, hire more men. My need for a cook and housekeeper would be even greater.”

  “Don’t start making plans yet,” Norman cautioned. “I haven’t decided to give you the money. I’ve got to see your operation first.”

  “That means you’ll be in the saddle most of the day,” Jared told him.

  “My horse is a Morgan. He’s easy to ride.”

  “I want to talk to you about breeding him to a couple of mares.”

  “There’ll be time enough for that later. Right now I want to see your ranch.”

  Laurie watched Jared and Norman leave the house with a deep sense of misgiving. Norman never did anything without a reason, and that reason was nearly always to his advantage. She didn’t understand why he should have changed his mind or what he hoped to gain by it.

  She was more worried about what Jared would do if Norman lent him the money. Would he decline her offer to be his partner? Jared had never said he wanted a partner for the ranch. It would decrease his control as well as his share of the income. Regardless of how much he liked her cooking and having a clean house, control of the ranch was more important.

  No man she’d ever known accepted a woman on an equal basis unless forced. Having been forced into it, Jared would probably like to get out of the situation at the first opportunity. She could no more imagine Noah having giving her control of the mercantile than she could Norman letting Sibyl run the bank. Why should Jared be any different? Even Colby was more comfortable now that Naomi was spending most of her time at home with the children.

  What would she do if Jared said he no longer needed, or wanted, her money?

  She wandered into the study and sank down in the chair next to Jared’s desk. There was a lot more at stake than just a safe investment for her money. This was her first chance for real independence. If she failed, she might not find another opportunity that suited her so well. She couldn’t just sit at home and spend money without people asking where she got it, any more than she could invest in a business in Cactus Corner. She would have to leave, go as far away as Santa Fe or Albuquerque. Preston was too close. Tucson probably was, too.

  Yet she didn’t want to leave her family to live among total strangers. She longed for independence, but not the kind that distanced her from everyone she knew and loved. She wanted to watch Sibyl’s daughter and Naomi’s three children grow up. She enjoyed being Aunt Laurie. She wanted to feel free to make her own decisions, but she needed the support, the love and companionship of friends and family. She wasn’t a rebel, nor did she suffer from wanderlust.

  Then there was Jared. Not that she felt she had any claim on him. She was certain everyone she knew would say she’d made a terrible mistake by sleeping with him, but she was grateful it had happened. He’d restored a part of her that Noah had nearly destroyed. For the first time in many years, she felt like a whole person.

  She got up and headed to the kitchen. Worrying wouldn’t achieve anything. Besides, she was certain Norman had an ulterior motive, one so shameful it might cause Jared to refuse the loan if it was offered. She would wait to see what Norman decided.

  ***

  Jared had already known Norman Spencer was a man whose acquaintance he didn’t want to pursue. After spending the better part of a day in the banker’s company, Jared was certain he didn’t want to know him at all. He gave Norman credit for being a shrewd businessman, but the man was a lousy human being. He was so cocooned by his own sense of superiority that he had no idea how offensive he could be. None of the hands had ridden with them for long. Steve took one look and rode off in the opposite direction.

  “You seem to have a good operation here,” Norman said as they headed back toward the ranch house. “Why do you want to buy Herefords when everybody else is running longhorns?”

  “Grass here i
s limited. Herefords carry more and better-quality meat than longhorns, and they can do it on the same amount of graze. You come from Kentucky. Surely you’re familiar with several superior breeds.”

  “That was in Kentucky, not in the desert.”

  It hadn’t looked like a desert today. The abrupt change in the weather overnight had caused the snow to melt with such rapidity that only patches remained where drifts had been the deepest. Water poured off the rim above in cascading ribbons that glistened in the sun. Dry washes ran fetlock deep in water. Creeks overflowed. Pools had become lakes.

  “Eastern breeds of cows need a lot of water,” Norman said, “and you won’t see this much water again in ten years.”

  “I’m planning on a small, select herd that won’t cause overgrazing,” Jared told him. “I learned the importance of that in Texas.”

  “I don’t have much opinion of Texas,” Norman declared. “My uncle died in the war down there.”

  Jared decided there was little point in defending Texas to a man whose opinions were as inflexible as they were arbitrary. He was relieved to be reaching the house. He felt compelled to invite Norman to stay for supper—he hoped he would refuse—but then he would be rid of the man. All he wanted now was to know if Norman was going to lend him the money to buy the herd.

  Would he take it? If he did, what would he do about Laurie and her investment in the ranch?

  If he borrowed the money, he would have to pay interest, but he wouldn’t lose half his ranch. That had been a difficult decision that he’d made because he had no other choice. He had given away half of all that he and Steve had managed to salvage from their ranch in Texas as well as everything he’d saved from his years in the army. He’d be eager for the opportunity to get it back.

  Borrowing from Norman would mean he could give the men bigger shares. That would be important when they left and got married. He’d never expected that they would stay with him forever. The ranch was to be their means of reestablishing themselves in the world. Giving Laurie half of the ranch would make that more difficult, if not impossible.