Hard Habit to Break

by Linda Cajio

  She smiled. “Do you?”

  He gasped in surprise as she very slowly pulled down the zipper of his black jeans. Leaning forward, she ran her tongue around his navel.

  “Liz! Ahhhh.”

  She smiled again at the strangled cry, and pushed his jeans off, let her mouth drift lower. Matt gasped and clutched her shoulders. She raised her head and chuckled.

  “You could kill a man doing that!” he exclaimed, pulling her up the length of his body and settling her between his hips.

  Instantly he thrust himself inside her, and Liz’s playfulness vanished as she felt herself enclose him in a silken cocoon. She closed her eyes at the feel of him, strong and hot. He gripped her thighs as he began to move, thrusting upward. She met each movement of his in a delicate counterpoint. His heart beat wildly under her hands, and her own pounded just as frantically. As the pace quickened, her body quickened. Sensations tugged at her until she was twisting and turning helplessly. And through it all she could feel the love fiercely bonding them together and demanding the final commitment of man and woman. She surrendered to it in the same moment Matt did. Crying out together, they were fused into one being, one mind, one heart, one love. The joining tightened in one supreme burst, then ebbed into a gentle but unbreakable silken chain of love.

  As they snuggled together in the afterglow, Matt lazily caressed Liz’s back.

  “Matt? How do we go public?”

  “I’ve been wondering that myself,” he said, then added forcefully, “I love you, and I want to marry you.”

  Very gently he kissed her. She sighed. “How about a whirlwind courtship tomorrow and a quick wedding the day after?”

  He chuckled and kissed the tip of her nose. “Don’t tempt me, woman. But I’m afraid this will have to be handled delicately. I don’t want to cause any talk about Hopewell’s upstanding banker.”

  “Naturally not,” she agreed in a very innocent voice. “That’s why you’ve parked your car in my driveway, made all those ‘innocent’ remarks in front of my tellers, and mowed my lawn. If you had been any more subtle, I would have been in real trouble.”

  Giving an exasperated groan, he lightly slapped her bottom. “You would bring that up.” He grew somber. “But I think we should take it slowly. A little more open talking over the hedge during the daytime. The occasional dinner …”

  “And how long will that take before we get around to marriage?” she asked eyes narrowing as she gazed up at him. “A year? Two? Three?”

  “No! Three or four months at most, probably. Now, don’t lose your temper,” he added when she stiffened in his embrace. “I’ve heard how people in this town talk, and I’m not about to expose you to it. As you just pointed out to me, I did more than enough damage in the beginning. I won’t add to it. We’ll be seen talking a little more, have a few dates, and announce our engagement. By the way, is the Hope diamond big enough for an engagement ring? Or something more the size of California?”

  Relaxing, she chuckled and shook her head. “I don’t need a diamond ring. And certainly not one the size of a grapefruit …”

  Her voice trailed off, and to his puzzlement, he began laughing.

  “I didn’t think the joke was that funny,” he said, cocking an eyebrow.

  She sobered, although an occasional unladylike snort escaped while she explained. “I was worried in the beginning about keeping my image. Especially when you came on like gangbusters.”

  “I seem to remember you kissing me several times before I even had a chance to pucker,” he mused aloud. “Ouch!”

  “Sorry,” she murmured, and patted his beard in apology for having yanked on it. “I’ll admit I had a little problem being around you.”

  He chuckled and immediately grabbed her hand as she tried to pull his beard again.

  “Okay. Big problem,” she admitted. “But you were right then. People will gossip no matter what we do—”

  “And I refuse to expose you to any of it,” he broke in.

  Pulling the bedclothes around her torso, she sat up and turned to face him. Her voice stern, she said, “But you were the one who said it in the first place. And some people will gossip. We can’t do anything about that. It was only because of Joe’s retiring and my maybe being promoted that I had been worried.”

  Matt sat up. “What promotion?”

  “You mean it isn’t all around Hopewell already?” Liz asked in amazement.

  “What promotion?”

  “My boss is retiring in September, and he’s recommended me to replace him as district manager. However, some of his superiors are having second thoughts about my age—”

  “That’s discrimination!” Matt shouted indignantly. “We’ll sue the pants off them! Age! I’ll yank all my money out right away.”

  “Oh no you won’t!” She curled her arms about his shoulders, the spread dropping unnoticed onto her bare lap. Her tone softened to almost a plea. “Matt, darling. It’s okay. I’m not upset. In spite of Joe’s recommendation, I doubt I’m really in the running because of my low seniority with New England Bank. And seniority will probably be the biggest factor in the directors’ decision. I guess I acted like a nut with you because I was afraid the least little thing would jinx whatever chance I do have of being promoted. And because of what happened in Chicago. I’m sorry.” She kissed him. “Frankly, I’d rather have you than a promotion.”

  “You love me enough to throw away a chance at a good career move?” he asked in wonder.

  She laughed and kissed him again. “What woman wouldn’t, for you?”

  “I could name millions,” he murmured, caressing the smooth flesh of her back.

  “Then you’ll want to hang on to me, won’t you?” she murmured back, spreading more kisses along his bearded jaw.

  He gathered her against his chest, her head tucked under his chin. “I’ll never let go. Joe’s retiring in September, eh?”

  “Mmmm.”

  “Then we’ll go very slowly until after September.” He held her in spite of her sudden struggle of protest. “I want you to have every chance at that promotion, sweetheart. And that includes your keeping your sterling reputation. Besides, you’re forgetting one thing. The board of directors might not care if you dated the guy next door. But they’ll very much care if you’re dating a bank customer. It’s only two months, my love. Two short months.”

  “And what if I say no? I want you more than any damn promotion, Matt.”

  He grinned into the deep shadows of the bedroom. “You forget, honey. I’m running this relationship now. Good thing too. You’d only make a mess of it. Ouch! Will you quit pinching me!”

  She chuckled before saying in a very innocent tone, “But I was so overwhelmed by the nearness of you that I couldn’t help myself, Matt. I just had to touch you.”

  “You’re lucky I’m a sucker for a woman who’s warm for my form. Ouch!”

  “Any woman?”

  “You. Only you,” he assured her. “Now, where were we? Oh, yeah, I’m the head honcho here.” He tenderly stroked her thick blond hair. “But I do mean it, Liz. I love you, and I’ll do nothing to jeopardize your chances at the promotion. So we’ll wait, okay?”

  He tilted her mouth up to his, not giving her a chance to answer. Her lips were so soft, he thought. All of her was always so soft. He tried to express all of his feelings in the kiss. And to persuade her that he was right. Liz was the most important thing in his life, and he needed to show her he could be patient for a little while longer, until the promotion was finalized.

  As he lifted his head, she sighed. “I have the feeling you’ll be stubborn about this. Very stubborn.”

  He sensed the resignation in her words, and triumph shot through him.

  “Dense and stubborn, that’s me.”

  He lay back on the bed, pulling her with him for another kiss.

  “And unmovable,” she finally murmured, her hands tightening on his shoulders with clearly renewed passion.

  “Wanna bet?�
� he answered, and dragged her mouth back down to his.

  Thirteen

  “This is ridiculous,” Liz muttered under her breath as she returned Matt’s polite wave with one of her own.

  Continuing to walk past his house toward hers, she decided that Matt’s idea of slowly building their relationship in public was on par with walking the distance of the earth’s equator. It would take years!

  But it was so sweet of him to do this for her, she thought as she reached her front door. So sweet. She opened the door and strode inside.

  Very calmly she shut the door, then yelled, “And I can’t stand it anymore!”

  Tossing her purse and briefcase onto a chair, she marched upstairs to her bedroom. She stripped off the conservative white suit and royal blue blouse she’d worn to work, then yanked on jeans and sweatshirt.

  She sternly told herself she should have fought harder that night when Matt had insisted they wait until the district manager’s replacement was confirmed by the bank’s directors. But she’d been so touched at the time by his concern for her. And she had seen his point about her superiors frowning on her having a personal relationship with a customer—especially a customer with a major account. Unfortunately though, she hadn’t realized how far Matt had intended to go to preserve her “sterling” reputation. He hadn’t made a midnight visit since the night they made love and talked about how to go public. Five days! The only thing she’d had to sustain her were his daily telephone calls.

  “Praise the saints for private lines,” she muttered between clenched teeth as she went back downstairs to the kitchen to make dinner. “Otherwise, Matt would have nixed phone calls too.”

  She’d been right about a quick surprise marriage to him. That was what they should have done, she decided, banging a pot on the stove. Yes, there would have been speculation. But it would have been after the fact and therefore would have been brief and quickly forgotten, not only by Hopewell, but most likely by the bank too. Being businessmen, her superiors probably would think her marrying Matt was a wonderful way to keep his account at New England Bank permanently. Dating the bank’s largest private depositor might be a no-no, but marrying him could be justified as good business, not to mention true love. Which, dammit, it was!

  Banging several more pans helped cool her temper, and she wondered with bitter amusement if some unseen person was pulling an imaginary rug out from under her. It was ironic, she thought, that she and Matt had come full circle. Only this time it was Matt making noises about maintaining her pure banker’s reputation. She had the feeling he’d have a good deal more control over the issue now that their roles were reversed. So far, no amount of reasoning or pleading over the telephone had swayed him. No matter what she said, Matt still insisted on keeping the intensity of their relationship quiet. And she loved him all the more for his reasons for doing it. But he was driving her crazy with his methods.

  Liz gave a dry chuckle. Clearly that part hadn’t changed.

  “That part hasn’t changed,” she repeated out loud as a wild idea about their swapping roles ran through her mind.

  She started laughing.

  Good thing her roses were still blooming.

  At midnight Liz let herself out the back door. Stopping for a moment on the top of the porch steps, she checked the dethorned rose she had tucked into the waistband of her dark blue jeans. Finding it secure she took a deep breath, pulled the navy scarf lower over her hair, and walked down the three steps. She ran across the dimly moonlit lawn. Reaching the garden shed, she headed around the side before finally stopping in front of the hole in the hedge.

  She took another deep breath to calm her jumping stomach.

  “We meet again,” a deep voice whispered.

  Liz shrieked and whirled around, banging the back of her head against the side of the steel shed.

  “Owww!” she yelped, rubbing the painful spot. She focused her eyes on the voice’s owner, who was standing on the other side of the hedge. “Matt! I really wish you wouldn’t sneak up on me like that!”

  “Well, you scared the hell out of me when I saw a shadow running across the lawn,” he complained with a chuckle. “It took me a moment to realize it was you.”

  Dropping her arm back to her side, Liz smiled when he disappeared from view. There was rustling and grunting as he scrambled through to her side of the hedge.

  He straightened and gave her a very visible grin. “I’m definitely cutting down the hedge tomorrow.”

  “About time,” she murmured, stepping into his embrace.

  She felt a shudder of longing when his lips met hers. How she had missed him—missed his warmth, missed his strong arms, missed his devastating kisses. Missed his love.

  Finally he raised his head and murmured. “This is killing me.”

  “I know.”

  “I’m sorry, sweetheart. I thought I could stay away until … but I can’t.”

  “Neither can I,” she admitted, then chuckled. “In fact, I was bringing you a rose.”

  She reached between them, pulled the rose from her waistband, and handed it to him.

  “You would have had a real surprise if you tried to leave this on my pillow,” he said in an amused voice.

  “I was banking on it,” she replied, stroking his shoulders. “Matt, I can’t stand not seeing you.”

  “I can’t stand this arrangement either. But it’s just a few weeks. At least that’s what I keep telling myself.

  “Matt—”

  “Liz, do it my way. Please. I’d never forgive myself if I were the reason you were turned down for that promotion.”

  She sighed, not having the heart to fight him when he was so ready to blame himself. Any woman would kill to have a man like Matt, she thought. She knew he would encourage her in anything she wanted to do. Unfortunately, what she really wanted to do was exactly the opposite of what he wanted to do. She felt almost selfish for actually wanting to talk him out of this madness. But if she didn’t, the weeks ahead would be sheer torture for them both.

  “Matt—”

  “No more arguments,” he broke in, caressing her back. “Now, promise me you’ll do this my way.”

  “Then promise me the nights.”

  “Liz, it’s too risky.…”

  His voice trailed away as she snuggled closer and kissed his jaw. “Promise me the nights, Matt darling.”

  With a loving mouth she traced his jawline, and he uttered a soft curse. But his hands tightened on her back in spite of himself.

  “Why do I have the feeling I’m being sucker-punched?” he asked huskily as he pulled her to the ground.

  “Because you are,” she murmured.

  His mouth covered hers.

  As she surveyed the Friday evening customers gathered in the bank lobby, Liz found herself wishing for the thousandth time that she were with Matt. She sighed at the growing frustration inside her and suppressed it yet again. Another hour and she’d close the bank. Several hours more and maybe she’d see Matt. For a brief time.

  Nothing had been resolved last night, she admitted to herself. Nothing except their obvious inability to keep their hands off each other. They had to talk—and soon. She couldn’t stand the little snatches of time they had together.

  “ ’Evening, Liz,” Fred Corliss said, breaking into her thoughts. “Busy, ain’t it?”

  Turning her attention to Fred, she smiled and exchanged small talk with him.

  After Fred Corliss left, she realized the bank was busier than usual. Customers patiently waited three or four deep in the tellers’ lines. Other customers chatted in small groups. She remembered how surprised she’d been when she’d first come to Hopewell to discover the bank was a kind of Friday night gathering place for the residents. In more heavily populated areas people were always impatient to finish their banking business and be on their way. People here never hurried. She wished she had a large dose of that patience, especially where Matt was concerned.

  Another customer claimed her att
ention, and then she was occupied with several more who had questions about their loans or accounts. Once the rush of business was over, she glanced up and saw Matt coming through the front doors.

  Forcing away the urge to run to him, she permitted herself only a polite smile. But she couldn’t stop herself from rising to her feet and walking around the wrought-iron divider.

  “Good evening, Matt,” she said as she approached him.

  He gave her a private frown for her singling him out in the crowd of people. She didn’t care. She needed to be next to him, feel his closeness.

  “Good evening, Liz,” he finally replied.

  “Is there anything I can do for you this evening?”

  Liz smothered a grin when his green eyes darkened for a moment. She hadn’t meant her words as a double entendre, but it didn’t matter to her how he interpreted them.

  “Just cashing a check for the weekend,” he said loudly. “Busy tonight.”

  “The nights usually are,” she replied impulsively, then looked around to see if anyone was paying attention to them. No one seemed to be.

  “Stop it!” he muttered under his breath. Louder he said, “Well, I better get in line with the others.”

  “I’ll be glad to cash a check for you if you’re in a hurry,” she said with a saccharine smile. She lowered her voice. “You’ve probably got a busy night ahead of you.”

  “Keep it up and it won’t be,” he muttered.

  Chuckling quietly, she wondered how he liked being on the other side of the fence. She decided role reversal was more fun than she’d first thought.

  “Actually Matt, if you’ve got a minute, I’d like to discuss your last deposit.”

  Anger blazed in his eyes, and Liz admitted that if looks could kill, she’d be dead. She knew she really shouldn’t tease him.

  Then again, maybe if she provoked him enough now, he’d have to make a midnight visit—if only to wring her neck.

  Smiling innocently she said. “I was thinking about another type of account for you.”

  “But I’ve already got an—”

  “This is a long-term account, with a lifetime guarantee, and the occasional nine-month dividend,” she broke in smoothly.