Shattered Lives Mended Hearts

by Lena Nicole

  We pull up to our destination and she just stares at the sign. I’m looking at her, waiting for her initial freak out to happen in 3…2…1…

  “Seriously? Zip lining? What is up with you and all these death-defying activities? Why can’t we go on normal dates like bowling, or the movies?” I see her tense slightly before looking away from me to look back at the sign.

  If she wants normal and boring, then she needs to be with Colin, not me. I’ve always liked pushing her out of her comfort zone. She usually has a small freak out about how she can’t do it, caves when I push her a little, and then ends up loving it. So, I know she doesn’t mind my little shoves here and there, and has told me she actually appreciates being out of her comfort zone from time to time. Well, baby, get ready for a shove.

  “Let’s go. I promise, you’ll love it.” I walk around to her side of the car to open her door and reach my hand inside to help her out. After a moment of hesitation, she grabs my hand and lets me pull her out of the car.

  We have all our gear on and have just finished listening to the instructor on how to do this. It’s actually really simple and should be really fun. I look at Addison and she’s a little pale. I tuck a piece of hair behind her ear and say, “Hey, if you really don’t want to do this, we don’t have to. I just thought it would be nice to be outside.” I lean down to her ear and whisper, “But, I promise I’ll make it worth it.”

  She shivers in response, and I try to hide the grin threatening to spread across my face. I know what that does to her, and by the glare I’m getting from her right now, I’m guessing she’s knows that I just played dirty.

  We climb up the tower to get hooked to the line to begin our adventure when Addison clings to me and says, “What if the line breaks?”

  I rub my hand up and down her back. “Trust me, it’s not going to break. If it’ll make you feel better, I’ll go first. If it holds my weight, then it’ll surely hold yours,” I say in a soft voice, looking into her worried face.

  She takes a deep breath and says, “No, I’ll go. The longer I’m standing here, the more time I have to talk myself out of doing this.”

  “That’s my girl. I’ll see you at the end.” She’s about to go when I say, “Hey, Addison.” She turns around and I push the button on my camera phone I dug out of my pocket to take her picture. “Another one for our album,” I tell her with a wink and a smack on her ass. She squeaks in surprise and steps off the platform on the tower. I hear her squeal for a moment, followed by wooo’s.

  I lean off the platform not too long after she does. It’s an exhilarating feeling, flying through the treetops. It’s not every day a person gets to experience nature from this vantage point. The wind is blowing in my face and the sun is beaming down through the gaps in the trees. I’m looking around, trying to spot any sort of wildlife while listening to the echoes of Addison’s hollering ahead of me.

  By the time I make it to the end of the line, she already has her harness and helmet off, but it’s the beaming expression that catches my attention.

  “Oh my God, Pierce! That was so much fun!” She runs at me and jumps into my arms. The feeling of her pressed against me and wrapped in my arms is the best feeling in the world. I could stand like this with her all day. My lips spread across my face, big enough to split my face in two. I knew she’d love this.

  I pull back from her, but keep my arms around her waist. “I’m glad you had fun. I told you you’d enjoy it.”

  “You know how I get. That’s why I love you.” She stands on her toes and kisses me on the cheek. She pulls back and looks up at me. There’s so much warmth and love in her eyes that if I stare at them long enough, I could forget that we’re in a weird place in our relationship and not technically exclusive. I push those thoughts out of my mind. She’s here in my arms now and nothing is going to dampen my mood while I’m with her.

  “Come on, I have a dinner I want to make for you,” I say as I grab her hand and lead her back to my car. I was a little hesitant at first, since this will be the first time she’s been at my place since the day before our wedding, aside from picking up her clothing.

  The moment we walk through the door, Ali is jumping on us. I know it’s a bad habit that we shouldn’t encourage, but right now, it’s my hope that Addison sees how much she’s missed at home. The way Ali is jumping all over and licking us is a clear indication of how happy she is to see us. By the way she’s acting, you’d have thought we’d left her alone for a week.

  I’m not making anything special, just some barbecue. I want to spend most of my time with her and not in the kitchen, so I’m keeping it simple. I’m about to put some fries in the oven, when Addison emerges from the hallway that leads to the bedroom. My mouth drops and the tray of fries I’m holding falls to the floor. Standing in front of me is Addison clad in one of my t-shirts that stops mid-thigh. I can barely see a pair of my boxers peeking out below the hem of my shirt. Her hair is wet, cascading down her back. I want to lean around her to see if the back of her shirt is wet and maybe offer to move her locks to the front, for comfort, of course. Every part of my body is alight with tension and sadly, she’s the answer that can make it all go away.

  “I didn’t bring any extra clothes. I hope it’s okay that I stole some of yours,” she says to me, walking to the bar stool on the other side of the kitchen counter.

  I blink a few times before it registers that I should respond to her. “Oh…uh, no. It’s fine. You know you can help yourself to anything in the house.” I drop to the floor to clean up the mess I made and Addison gets down on her knees to help. She leans forward to pick up a fry and her hair falls forward in front of her face. The smell of the shampoo coming off her is intoxicating. I take her loose strands of hair and tuck them behind her ear, placing a small kiss there. Inhaling her scent, I cause her to shudder and suck in a breath. I fight against everything in my being that’s telling me to take her right now on this kitchen floor.

  My thoughts are interrupted when I hear my phone vibrate against the counter. I look at the screen and see the same number scroll across it that I have for the last week.

  Samantha.

  I hit the decline button and focus my attention back on Addison. I see her hard nipples poking through the thin cotton of my shirt, and think that maybe that’s a bad idea too.

  “So,” I start and have to clear my throat, “how is everything going? Work good?”

  “Yeah, work is great. How about you?”

  “It’s good. Getting busier with everything being finalized at the New York office. I’ll be glad when it’s all over though.”

  “I’ll bet. Seems like you’ve been working on it forever.”

  The timer to the oven starts to beep, letting me know our food is ready. “Do you want to eat out on the deck or in here?” I ask her.

  “In here is fine,” she says.

  Addison is about to say something when my phone starts vibrating again. Surprise, surprise, it’s Samantha. I hit the decline button again and turn my attention back to Addison. She’s looking down at my phone in curiosity.

  “Do you need to get that?” she questions me.

  “No, it’s not important. Now what were you going to say?”

  And, right on cue, my phone starts vibrating again. This time with a text. The preview screen is flashing showing me the message.

  Please call me. We need to talk.

  Do you remember what my mouth felt like?

  It takes a lot of effort not to growl in frustration. I look back up at Addison and raise my eyebrows, letting her know I want her to continue. “Anything else interesting going on at work?” she asks.

  Other than my fight with Max and Samantha’s tantrum in my office? “Nope, not really,” is what I end up saying to her.

  Not five minutes later my phone is vibrating again. “Son of a...” I cut off the rest of my sentence as I look down and see another text message.

  I know you think about how hard I can make you come. It was s
o good between us.

  Not five seconds after I read the preview on my screen does it start vibrating again. This is getting insane.

  “Maybe you should answer it. It could be important since they’ve been blowing your phone up for the past half hour,” she says with her eyebrows creased together.

  “It’s not important, trust me.” To ensure we have no more interruptions from Samantha, I shut my phone off. Her constant calls and texts are getting out of hand, and I’m going to have to sit down and have a talk with her to convince her to stop with all of this.

  The rest of dinner goes perfectly. We talk, laugh, and tease each other. It’s such a casual evening and I’m loving every second. It feels as if things haven’t changed and we’re together in our place again. In my heart, I know this isn’t the last time we’ll be doing this together. I just hope she decides soon, because knowing she’s dating another guy is killing me.

  ON MY drive over to my parents’ house, my mind is going a mile a minute with all the things that have happened recently. First, that awkward night with Lexi. I’m so scared that I might have severed a good friendship with her because of everything that is going on with me and her brother. I keep replaying in my head what she said to me.

  I can’t be there for you when it comes to this.

  I completely understand and don’t blame her for wanting to be there for Pierce, but it kind of breaks my heart that our friendship is suffering because of this. I had gotten really close to her when Pierce and I were together, and the thought of her not being in my life upsets me. I know she’ll completely cut me out of her life if I end up choosing Colin.

  The other thing I keep thinking about is my night with Pierce. His phone kept ringing, and whoever was on the other end was insistent in reaching him. Out of the year I have spent with Pierce, I have never seen his phone blow up like that. And he normally doesn’t ignore phone calls, since they could be business related.

  With my mind circling around the phone calls and my dilemma with Lexi, I’m surprised when I find myself pulling into my parents’ driveway. I must have been deep in thought because I honestly don’t remember most of the drive over here. Walking up to the door, I think back to the time we barbequed with Pierce’s family. Even though my life was semi-complicated, I still had it together, at least it felt like I did. This time, I feel the complete opposite, and I don’t know how I’m holding myself up.

  I walk in and yell for my parents like I’ve done so many times before. “Mom? Dad? I’m here,” I say as I place my keys on the table next to the door.

  “Addison, honey. It’s so good to see you,” she says as she comes around the corner. From the way she’s dressed, it looks like she’s on a mission, away from me.

  “Thanks, Mom, you too. Are you heading out?”

  “Yes, Claire called and her daughter, Joanne, is in labor and her husband isn’t home from his business trip yet. So she asked if I could watch the little ones while she takes her to the hospital.” Claire is a family friend of ours that would babysit me from time to time when my parents were out of town.

  “Oh, that’s great news. Tell her I said good luck and congratulations. I work tomorrow, so I’ll be sure to swing by her room and say hello. Where’s Dad?” I ask before she has a chance to walk out the door.

  “Oh, you know your father. He is sitting in that ugly old chair he refuses to let me throw out,” she says, rolling her eyes. I laugh and shake my head. She has been on my dad for years trying to get him to get rid of his chair. “I’m sorry, I know you said you wanted to talk, but I’ve really got to run. Claire’s waiting and if I don’t hurry, she won’t make it to the hospital in time.”

  I wave my mom off and say, “Mom, it’s fine. We will get lunch and talk. Go and help Claire out. She would do the same if the situation were reversed.” I move my hands in a shooing motion and she hurries out the door.

  Looking around the house, the family photos on the wall catch my attention. I walk over and admire how easy life is when you’re a child. I spot my favorite picture of me sitting on my dad’s lap, holding a tooth in the air. I was about six and had just lost my first tooth and was so excited to get a visit from the tooth fairy. I ran to my dad and jumped on his lap holding it up yelling, “I’m getting some money, Daddy!” Running my fingers over the glass frame, I know if Mom ever got Dad to throw his chair out, I would have to steal it before she could get rid of it. I turn down the hall to go see him.

  “Hey, Dad.” I lean down and kiss his cheek.

  “Hey, pumpkin. Want something to drink?” he asks, holding up his beer and turning slightly in his chair to look at me.

  “I’m good,” I answer, and sit on the couch next to him.

  “You said on the phone you needed to talk,” he says before taking a sip of his beer.

  My dad gives me the most honest advice and does it with tough love. He’s not afraid to voice his opinion and doesn’t tip toe around my feelings. This is why he’s always my go-to whenever I need someone to listen.

  “I guess I’ll start with the Bahamas. While I was there, I was trying to figure out what to do about Colin and Pierce. Needless to say, I had no answers for myself. Well, Morgan had come up with the idea that I date both of them.” I pause for a moment to look at my father’s reaction. I’m a little embarrassed to talk about dating two guys at the same time with my father, but I need his advice. When I see he is staring at me and waiting for me to finish, I adjust myself on the couch and continue, “I know I love them both, that isn’t the problem. I just don’t know how I’m supposed to make a choice that seems impossible. In the end, someone is going to end up getting hurt. There is no avoiding that. But what if I can’t decide? I mean sure, they both agreed to date me, so I can see where my heart truly belongs, but what if I just can’t bring myself to make that decision? How long can I honestly expect them to wait while I drag them along this painful process for me to make up my mind? It feels unfair to make them wait around for me anyway.”

  I get up off the couch and walk over to the mini fridge by the bar, deciding I need a drink after all. I grab myself a beer and grab another one for my dad. I hand my dad his beer and sit back down on the couch.

  “So, are you comfortable dating two men at once?” my dad asks.

  “Yes? No? Kind of?” I answer honestly with a shrug. I’m so confused.

  “So yes, no, and kind of. Got it,” my dad jokes.

  “I mean, in the past I would have never thought about dating two guys at the same time, let alone actually do it.”

  “Well, that was the old Addison. I have had the pleasure of seeing you grow out of your shell the past year, and I think this new Addison can handle it. I think it’s a good thing. You can’t possibly make up your mind and expect it to be the right decision if you don’t give both guys a fair chance, in my opinion. You’ve been with Pierce for the last year or so, so you’ll need time to reacquaint yourself with Colin to make sure you guys still mesh well. You’re lucky you have two great guys willing to wait for you. Tell me, how have you and Colin been getting along since you regained your memory?”

  I start to pick at the label on the beer bottle, suddenly wishing I didn’t shoo my mom away. I think this next part of the conversation is going to be extremely awkward.

  “Things have been great with Colin. I can remember all the good along with all the bad. I can remember everything that made us, us.” I pause, thinking back to his proposal with a smile on my face.

  “But…” my dad draws out, pulling me away from that memory.

  “But… well.” I look around the room, avoiding eye contact with my father and continue. “Even though Colin and I have been spending a lot of time together we haven’t been…well you know…together.” My face immediately heats up as my embarrassment shows and I hear my dad choke on his beer. Shoot me now.

  “Wow. Well I wasn’t expecting you to say that,” he says as he is wiping the beer that trickled down his chin onto his shirt.

  �
��Dad, we don’t have to talk about that. I can wait until Mom gets back.”

  “No, no, its fine. Really. You just caught me off guard, that’s all.” He assures me. “Continue.” He waves his hand in front of him, gesturing for me to keep going.

  “Well Pierce and I are, uh… let’s just say, more familiar with each other and I know how we connect emotionally and physically. I know the feelings behind those connections. But with Colin, I haven’t connected with him physically since the accident, so I’m not sure if what we had is still there,” I tell him, looking down to avoid eye contact.

  “I can’t say that it’s okay to be physical with both men, Addison.” I look back up at him and see he is rubbing the back of his neck, clearly as uncomfortable with this topic as I am. “I’m still your father and that would be horrible parenting advice. I can tell you this: do what feels right in your heart. Just be sure you give it plenty of thought beforehand, because if you feel like it could be a mistake, then just think about how badly that will hurt Colin. You have a lot of hard decisions to make and you need to think hard about the ramifications of your choices before you act on them. Just don’t lose sight of who you are during all of this. You have a lot of pressure on you, but do what is right for you. I understand someone will get hurt in the end and you don’t want to be the reason behind it. But you have to know that not only does the man you choose deserve to be happy, so do you. Choose a happy ending that is right for you, not what everyone else thinks is right. You’re a smart woman, Addison. Listen to your heart and it won’t steer you wrong.”

  I get up off the couch and lean down to hug my father. He wraps his arms around me. “Thank you for the advice, and thank you for always listening to my problems.” I give him a kiss on the cheek as we pull apart.