Saving My Submission BN

by Jenna Jacob

  Julianna looked up at the other cop and started to laugh. “Officer Hung, huh? Cute.”

  The pieces fell into place, quickly. The cop with James was a stripper. “Oh for the love of… someone should have hired Commander Cock Choker instead of a damn cop,” I scolded.

  “I’ll be sure to let the guilty party know the policeman was a bad choice.” James shot me a mischievous grin. “I think ‘Ball Gag Green Beret’ would be the perfect stripper for your bachelorette party.”

  I couldn’t help but snort. “Save your money. I’m never getting married. Look, I’m sorry for being so harsh and insulting, but…”

  “It takes more than that to insult me, pretty lady.” James grinned. “I still think you need a ball gag, though. You’d look stunning in one.”

  Even though I was still irked at James for frightening Leagh, I regretted ripping into him so vehemently.

  “You’re here to spy on us too, aren’t you, James?” Julianna asked, cocking her head and watching his reaction closely. “Yep, you’re here to make sure we behave like proper submissives, right?”

  A guilty grin tugged his lips and he winked. “Now, would I do that sort of thing?”

  “In a heartbeat.” Turning her attention back to Leagh, Julianna and I helped the girl to her feet.

  “Come on, baby. Tony’s perfectly fine. Officer Hung here has a present for you… in his pants,” Julianna explained with a giggle.

  “Oh hell, he’s a fucking stripper?” Leagh gasped. “Who got me a stripper?”

  “I think Tony did. Come on, sugar. It’s time for you to sit in the hot seat,” Julianna laughed.

  Suddenly, as if a light had gone off in her head, Leagh scowled and pinned James with a look of suspicion. “Tony’s got a female stripper at his party, doesn’t he?” she hissed, wagging a finger in James’ face.

  “How the hell would I know? I’m here with you.”

  “Oh, that’s a convenient excuse, now isn’t it?” she spat. “Fine. I’ll get the details out of him one way or another. Oh, and one more thing. You do not have permission to record any of this… um I mean, please, Sir… don’t record this for me?”

  “Tony will have a good time breaking you of giving orders, Leagh. And I’m personally going to enjoy the hell out of watching him do it, too.” James smirked. “I may not have your permission, but I do have Tony’s.” James laughed and slid his cell phone out of his pocket.

  “Oh, god,” Leagh moaned.

  Trevor set an empty chair in the middle of the room with a giggle, as Julianna and I led her back into the living room. James and Officer Hung—complete with a 1980s boom box—followed behind us. The subs surrounded Leagh in a big circle, laughing and taunting her as loud dance music echoed off the walls.

  Officer Hung wiggled his hips in Leagh’s face, gyrating in sexual suggestion before peeling off his clothes. Laughing, Leagh pointedly gazed at James’ cell phone as he recorded every bump and grind.

  “Thank you, Master. But just for the record, I’d rather have a lap dance from you. Hurry home and strip for me… please? I’ll pay you with something special.”

  Casting a glance up at the muscular man, he stroked his night stick with hard, jerking movements. Leagh squealed, then looked back at James. “Okay, so maybe this once, I’ll manage to enjoy another man dancing for me. Thank you, Sir. Thank you so much.”

  Several subs pulled out their phones to record every shimmy and shake. Trevor all but drooled as he watched the buff dancer. When the stripper tore away his pants, wearing only a bright blue thong with a massive bulge, the whole room went wild. Screams, whistles and cheers thundered as I stood back, laughing at the raucous bunch.

  Julianna kissed Leagh on the cheek, then placed a wad of money in her hand.

  “See what he’ll give you for tips,” Julianna giggled.

  “Oh, lord. I think I’m going to pass out,” Trevor exclaimed as he grabbed a stack of napkins and began wiping the perspiration from his forehead.

  When Leagh was done carefully tucking money into the dancer’s grinding g-string, he scooped out the bills and shimmied out of his thong, wearing nothing but a nice tan and a hard, thick erection.

  “Ohhhh, sweet jesus,” Trevor whimpered. “If I ever get married, I hope Daddy sends this guy to my bachelorette party. Look at that cock. It’s breath taking. I bet that monster’s at least eight inches.”

  “Eight and a half, Goldilocks,” the dancer replied before blowing Trevor a kiss.

  Joshua’s cock is bigger and far more talented. As soon as the thought entered my head, heat rushed to my cheeks and blood pooled behind my clit. Sliding my phone from my pocket, I quickly glanced at empty screen. With a silent curse, I shoved it back in my pocket, convinced that I’d clearly lost my mind.

  “Get over here, Mellie, and get in this chair,” Leagh demanded. “You’re the only one who won’t get into trouble. Come on. Get nasty with this big ol’ cock.”

  Laughing along with Leagh, I shook my head. “He’s all yours. Enjoy him as best you can.”

  Trevor whooped and hollered when the dancer began twirking his cock in Leagh’s face. “Kiss it. Kiss it. Kiss it,” Trevor chanted.

  “Hell, no,” She screeched. Her eyes grew wide and she started to blush “You kiss it.”

  The dancer turned, pinning Trevor with a knowing stare. “Would you like a taste, darling?”

  Trevor turned bright red. Blonde hair whipped his face, as he backed way, adamantly shaking his head. “No way. I love my Daddy. I’m not doing anything to screw that up.”

  “Pity.” The stripper pouted. When the music faded, the naked man bent and kissed Leagh on the cheek. “Have a fun party, and happy wedding night.”

  James escorted Officer Hung to the foyer, waiting patiently as the man redressed. Raising a hand to wave good-bye, James continued to hold the door open, and as all the Doms paraded back in, a hush fell over the room.

  “Mind if I take a look at your phone, James?” Tony grinned as he held out his hand.

  “Oh my god,” Leagh gasped and hid her face in her hands.

  “What’s wrong, angel? You haven’t been a bad girl, have you?” Tony taunted. “You know what I do to bad girls, don’t you?”

  “Aarrggghhh,” she groaned. “No, I was a perfect angel... for the most part. You set me up, didn’t you, Sir?”

  “Indeed I did, princess. Indeed I did,” he laughed.

  “And what about you, boy?” Drake pinned Trevor with a suspicious grin. “You look awfully guilty. Is there something you need to tell me?”

  Trevor raced across the room and wrapped Drake in a desperate hug. “I might have said a few things I shouldn’t have, but I was good. I swear, Daddy. But now that you’re here I really… realllyyyy want to be bad with you… right now.”

  Drake laughed, as he bent and slanted his mouth over Trevor’s in a rough and hungry kiss. “I like you primed and ready for me, sweet boy.”

  “Oh I’m ready, Daddy. I’m sooo, sooo ready.”

  “Yes, I know. I can feel your hard cock against my thigh,” Drake laughed. “Keep it that way, I have plans for it… and you, tonight, my love.”

  “Thank god,” Trevor whimpered.

  “Oh, Leagh,” Tony howled. “My, my, angel. You got a facefull, didn’t you?”

  She gave him a playful pout and nodded. “But as you can plainly see… I was your perfect little angel tonight, Master.”

  Tony laughed and pulled her to his chest. “I’m proud of you, baby.” He beamed, then kissed her long and passionately.

  Claimed subs paired up with their owners, and I tried not to notice the pangs of envy within, but they chaffed. Painting on a happy smile, I visited and mingled, wishing Joshua were a part of the Genesis family. Did he know about the club? Surely living down the street and being a Dom of his caliber, he had to know of its existence. Maybe like me, he’d become disenchanted and left the community. Or maybe he was a natural-born Dom who didn’t know there were others like him outsi
de his artistic bubble. Wishing and hoping for fairy tales seemed a fruitless waste of time. I desperately wanted to see him again, but refused to seek him out like a pathetic fan girl, or, god-forbid, a crazy stalker. I had to devise a way to banish him from my brain, drive out thoughts of the incredible night we’d spent, and find my resilient equilibrium again.

  That sounds all good and fine, yet here you are… still obsessing about him. Why?

  Taking a sip of margarita through my penis straw, I frowned. Because he touched something inside and no matter how hard I try, I can’t wipe it away. At least not yet.

  “Are you ready to head out?” Nick asked. A quizzical look wrinkled one brow. “What’s got you so deep in thought, Mellie?”

  “Nothing. Yes, of course.” I smiled, trying to deflect his concern. “I’m good to go whenever you guys are ready.”

  After kisses and hugs and lots of good nights, we climbed into Nick’s big red truck and headed home. The silence was deafening and I caught Nick’s concerned gaze in the rear view mirror more than once.

  “Okay, enough,” Sanna announced as she squirmed in her seat and turned to face me. “What’s going on, Mel? Spill it, and don’t tell me nothing’s wrong. I know you.”

  “Easy, kitten,” Dylan instructed.

  “It’s called tough love, Master. And she needs it,” Sanna explained as she continued to probe me with a stern gaze. “Out with it, chicky-pooh.”

  “Oh, my god,” I moaned. “All right. I had a wonderful time last night. More earth shattering than I’d expected. It’s rocked me a bit, but I’ll be fine. I just need to get it into perspective.”

  “Tell me what happened with Scotty… before the fire, I mean,” she pressed.

  “Nothing. Absolutely nothing. And nothing is ever going to happen with him. Okay?”

  “That’s quite an about turn from the other night,” Nick interjected.

  “I know,” I sighed. “That’s another thing that’s got me stumped. He kissed me—Scotty I mean—and it was like kissing a brother. It felt awkward and gross.”

  “So the man from last night, why do you think he’s left such an impression?” Dylan asked.

  I knew exactly why Joshua had unnerved me so, but I wasn’t sure I wanted to confess it to the world.

  “Don’t stall, Mellie,” Dylan coaxed. “Don’t try to analyze it, just spit it out.”

  “Because he was… he was a Dom.”

  “Who was he?” Nick asked.

  “Joshua Lars,” Savannah offered.

  “The artist who created your statue?”

  “Yes.” I nodded to Nick’s arched brows reflecting in the mirror.

  “By the look of his work, I’d say he most definitely is a Dominant,” Dylan chimed in. “And it’s dredging up old feeling in you, isn’t it?”

  “Yes,” I whispered in a dejected tone.

  “Don’t make it sound as if it’s a death sentence, girl,” Dylan chuckled. “I told you the other day, it’s not a light switch you can turn off and on. Your true desires will come out no matter how hard you try and wish them away. I think you’re finding that out, aren’t you?”

  “Yes, but it doesn’t change the fact that I can’t allow myself to go back to the woman I was… the submissive, I mean. I just can’t.”

  “Can’t or won’t?” Nick challenged.

  “Both. It’s too much of a risk. I can’t put myself through that again, and I won’t.”

  “So what do you propose to do about it? Obviously running from your desires isn’t working. You’ve not tried to stand and face your fears yet. So where does that leave you?”

  Nick’s eyes twinkled. The man was actually smiling as he figuratively backed my ass into the corner.

  “It leaves me exactly here… coping with it until I get back home. I can shove it under the carpet, like I always do, and go on about my life.”

  “Okay, but if Scotty didn’t flip your switch after Joshua what makes you think some other—”

  “Don’t go there,” I cut Sanna off. “I’ve already thought it.”

  “And?”

  “And… I don’t know. It’s only been a day. Give me some time to put it behind me, okay? I’ll work him out of my system… eventually.”

  “You hope,” Dylan smirked.

  “I will,” I argued defiantly.

  “Look, I’m not finding fault with anything about your life, Mel, but you have a history of running away when things get too intense,” Sanna interjected.

  “Like you don’t?” I challenged.

  “Not anymore,” she bragged.

  “I’m happy for you,” I scorned, immediately wishing I could take the sarcasm out of my reply.

  “I know you are, you already told me… and meant it.” She waved her hand at the growing tension between us. “Have you ever sat down and asked yourself why you won’t get close to anyone besides me?”

  “No, Doctor Phil, I haven’t.”

  “Stop being pissy with me. I’m trying to help you,” Sanna huffed. “I know why. It’s the same reason I closed myself off from my own life, Mel. You’re afraid of loving someone and losing them.”

  The air left my lungs in a rush. Tears prickled my eyes and my heart felt as if she’d punched through my chest and yanked it out.

  “It’s okay to let someone in. It’s okay to take a chance, because it’s so worth it. I could keel over and die tomorrow, but I’d go happy. I have these two incredible, wonderful men in my life who fill me full of all the things I’d missed out on by being afraid. Listen to me and believe me… the joys outweigh the risks by so much, it’s incomprehensible.”

  Tears slid down my cheeks as Sanna scrambled over the bench seat and wrapped me in her arms. “It’s okay, sis. You have so much love inside your heart. You have to stop wasting it all on me.”

  “It’s not a waste,” I sniffed.

  “No, but you’ve got so much more to share. Give it to someone who deserves you...Someone who understands your needs, even when you don’t. You knew long before I did that a Dom would complete you… fulfill the longings buried deep inside you. So, you picked the wrong one the first time. You might even pick the wrong one the second time, but somewhere along the way, you’re going to pick the right one. Just imagine how wonderful your life will be. You’re not a quitter, Mel. You don’t walk away from a job until it’s totally perfect. You didn’t bat an eye at moving back home to finish raising me when Mom and Dad died. So why are you letting your fears make you quit and cheat you out of a chance at happiness?”

  CHAPTER FIVE

  When I woke the next morning my eyes felt like they’d been dipped in kitty litter. After a second night of tossing and turning while residual images of Joshua filled my head, I couldn’t stop thinking about all the things Savannah had said. The two combined proved to make sleep an elusive indulgence.

  Of all the questions that spooled in my brain, one in particular continued to stump me… when and how had my little sister found such profound enlightenment? Finally it dawned on me. “When she found her Masters, of course,” I whispered aloud.

  I tried to close my eyes and get some sleep, but it was useless. Dragging myself out of bed at nine o’clock, I shuffled to the bathroom and climbed into the shower. Leagh and Tony’s wedding was at three. Even though Julianna and Trevor were her bridesmaids, Leagh wanted extra reinforcements to prepare for her big day, and had asked if Sanna and I would come early to help her get ready. I was strangely excited to be a part of it all. Usually I avoided weddings, but after spending so much time with Leagh and the rest of the gang from Genesis, I was actually looking forward to it.

  When I stepped out of the shower, I found a hot cup of coffee sitting on the vanity. Sanna. A smile spread over my face as I quickly dried, donned my robe and opened the door. A pensive look lined my sister’s face as she sat on my bed.

  “Hey. I’m sorry if I was too hard on you last night. I know you’re a big girl and live your life exactly the way you want. I had no busine
ss sticking my nose in it.”

  “Oh, baby,” I groaned. “You have every right to stick your nose in. You’re my sister, and you’re worried. I get that. You have no idea how many nights I spent worrying and wondering if I’d done the best I could to raise you… to prepare you for the big bad world out there.”

  “You did.” Sanna smiled. “I just needed a little help breaking out of my cocoon. Thankfully I found the two men who could get the job done.”

  “Yes, you did.” I grinned. “I’m sorry about my snarky comments last night. I am happy for you.”

  “I know you are… and I know you were lashing out because, well… I was attacking you. I’m sorry for doing that to you. I just want you to be happy. Honestly, that’s all I’ve ever wanted. So whether you’re with someone or alone, as long as you’re happy, then I’m happy for you.”

  “I am happy. I’m just a little screwed up at the moment because of a certain man. But don’t worry. I’ll be back to my old self soon. I promise.”

  Savannah gave a resolute nod, then hugged me tight. “We need to be at the church at one. The guys are going to start fixing breakfast, so come down when you can.”

  “I will and thank you for the coffee, baby. I love you.”

  “I love you too.” A broad smile spread over her lips as she scurried out of the room.

  Three and a half hours later, I stood staring at the two dresses draped across the bed. Vacillating between the designer tea length cranberry twist silk chiffon, strapless, or the designer knee length champagne chiffon halter… I couldn’t decide.

  There was a soft knock at my door, and I let out an indecisive sigh. “Come in,” I called, too distracted to glance over my shoulder.

  “Oh, Mel, you’re not dressed yet?” Sanna gasped.

  Spinning around, I took a look at my sister and gasped. Wearing a knee length ruched strapless chiffon, the royal blue color made Sanna’s brown eyes pop and her pale skin glow. She looked like a princess.