Saving My Submission BN

by Jenna Jacob

  Stepping into the musty smelling room with the gun to my head, Carnation eased the door shut behind us. Shining the tiny penlight around the earthen room, she handed me a battery-operated camping lantern and ordered me to turn it on.

  As light flooded the room, she ripped off the stocking cap and shook out her long blonde curls while staring at me with a venomous look.

  “Down on your knees. You’ve had a lot of practice in that position, now haven’t you?” she chortled with a derisive sneer.

  As I crouched down and knelt on the hard dirt floor, Carnation raced in toward me, slamming the gun against the side of my head with a brutal blow. Pain exploded through my brain and I struggled against the swelling blackness devouring my vision. Blinking rapidly, I tried to clear the spots as I attempted to rise back up, but Carnation stomped a heavy boot into the small of my back, pinning me to the dark soil of the floor.

  Gripping my wrist, she twisted one arm behind my back. Fight or flight took over and I struggled against her claim, ripping my arm from her grip. She landed another agonizing blow to the back of my head and the darkness won me over.

  Slowly rising from the inky veil, I blinked against the bright light. I didn’t know how long I’d been unconscious, but as I tried to move I discovered I was laying on the ground with my hands bound behind my back.

  “You’ve caused me a lot of trouble and shit load of money, you know that?” Carnation bitched as she gnashed her teeth on the end of a long white zip tie. I was sure that’s what she’d used to bind my wrists. “Do you have any idea how much it costs to hire a goddamn hit man? I should have let him blow your brains out instead of ordering him to fuck with you for a little while.”

  “Why do you want to hurt me?” I murmured. “Who are you?”

  “Don’t play dumb with me, you fucking bitch. You know exactly who I am, just like I know who you are,” she sneered. “I was sitting in my car outside the church that day of the stupid wedding. I saw him all over you in the parking lot. And I know you fucked him at the club. I still have a good friend at Genesis. She told me all about the scene Master Kerr made when my Master took pity on you and spanked your pathetic ass. I also know you fucked him that night. I would have thought Master Stephen had better taste, but obviously he’ll fuck any hole. So I had to slash his tires,” she boasted.

  She’d been watching Joshua and me… had a spy inside the club watching us, too.

  “When I asked my friend to cozy up to Kerr, I found out that my Master Stephen had told him to leave you alone. Poor Master Kerr was dumbfounded and still pissed that Mika asked him to leave that night. Stupid prick. Kerr thought you were playing games with him. That’s when I hatched my plot to get rid of you.” The terrifying gleam in her eyes made my blood turn to ice. “Then when my friend told me she was sad that Kerr was leaving the country on business... well, it made my job that much easier.”

  “You could have come to me and told me you still loved him. I would have stepped aside,” I lied.

  Carnation snorted with a sarcastic scoff. “As long as you’re alive, he’ll always want you. He doesn’t love you. He’s never loved anyone but me. You know that, right? He loves me, and he always will.”

  Agree with her. Play along with her irrational rambling. Buy yourself some time.

  “You’re right. Joshua doesn’t love me and I don’t love him. We’re only friends,” I fibbed.

  “Who the fuck is Joshua?” she snarled. “I’m talking about Master, my Master… Master Stephen.”

  “Oh, right,” I whispered as my head screamed in pain.

  “Humph, I must have hit you harder than I thought. Are you trying to pull some psychological mumbo-jumbo on me, whore? It won’t work. A couple dozen shrinks have already tried. I’m not crazy.” She paused and narrowed her eyes. “You think I’m crazy, don’t you? Just like all those other fucking bitch subs at Genesis. They always talked about me behind my back….Always thought they were better than me. But I’ll show them. Master Stephen will take me back and he’ll force that weasel-prick Mika to reinstate my membership. I’ll be back, goddammit. Even if I have to kill them all.”

  “In your fucking dreams,” I murmured. Fuzzy and sick to my stomach, I wasn’t sure if I’d actually said the words aloud or simply thought them.

  Carnation gripped a fist in my hair and yanked my head back. I cried out in pain as she kicked me in the ribs. I grunted, biting back a howl of agony.

  “My dreams are none of your fucking business, whore. Let me tell you something. You’ve spread your legs for my Master for the last time. I’m going to cut your nasty cunt out and shove it down your throat. Now shut the hell up. My fun with you is just getting started,” she cackled in a dry, brittle whisper.

  “How did you find us here?” I whispered, hoping I could keep her talking long enough that someone would find me.

  She chuckled. “Might as well tell you the truth. You’ll be taking it to the grave, anyway. My Master Stephen used to bring me here sometimes with Ian,” she preened. “I was special enough that he wanted to share me. Show the other less fortunate Doms what a special girl I was. Ian loves me too. Don’t think he doesn’t.”

  I wanted to gag. She was beyond delusional. Outside I could hear voices calling my name. Oh thank god. They’re looking for me.

  “Fuck,” Carnation hissed. “That didn’t take as long as I’d hoped. Be quiet now, bunny, or I’ll have to slit your throat.”

  Snatching a knife off a long wooden workbench, Carnation squatted down near my face.

  “How did you like my texts? Pretty convincing, huh?” she snickered. “It was fun and so damn easy. I played you like a damn fiddle. All this time you thought it was your old Master after your ass. God, that’s classic. Sorry, bitch, but Kerr doesn’t want you anymore, and neither do I. Looks like you’re going to have to die, bunny. You’re in my way.”

  The more Carnation confessed, the more the pieces began falling into place. She was obsessed with Joshua. And in her twisted, totally fucked-up mind she truly thought he would take her back. I wasn’t about to start arguing with her.

  Pulling a blue bandanna out of her pants pocket, she tried to shove the cotton cloth into my mouth. Clenching my jaws, I jerked my head back. A new wave of pain crashed through my brain, but I refused to open my mouth.

  Landing a fist to my cheek bone, then another, she cursed me under her breath. White lights exploded behind my eyes. I cried out, but my wail was instantly muffled as she crammed the bandana inside my mouth. Pressing her knee against my lips, she peeled off a strip of duct tape. Where the roll had come from, I didn’t know.

  My vision faded in and out and I fought the urge to vomit as she slapped the adhesive over my mouth. I knew I was going to die in the cold, musty room. I just didn’t know when or how. I prayed she wouldn’t make me suffer long, that she’d put a bullet in my head before she beat me to a bloody pulp or began to dismember my body.

  Why hadn’t I told Joshua that I loved him when I had the chance? How was he going to survive losing two women that he loved? Would he ever risk his heart again? Tears stung my eyes and made the throbbing in my head expand with a gut-churning spike.

  Sanna’s frantic cries for me grew loud. I groaned as I raised my head off the floor and looked toward the door.

  “Do you want sissy to come in and play with us?” Carnation asked in a manic whisper.

  Grunting, I shook my head no. My brain felt like it was lined with spikes, and my movement sent the barbs piercing inward with an agonizing stab.

  “Oh, but I’d like for little Sanna baby to have just as much fun as you are. Wouldn’t you?”

  A pitiful moan burned in the back of my throat, and I shook my head more adamantly sending shards of white-hot pain piercing inside my brain.

  Long minutes later, I heard Joshua call my name in a tone so rife with panic, it shattered my heart. He called out again. His voice was louder… more demanding. God, I didn’t want to die. Not here. Not now. I’d finally fo
und the man who made me complete. Fate couldn’t be so cruel and take it all away so soon… could it?

  “We don’t want him playing with us,” Carnation whispered. “If he knew what I was doing to you, he might not want me back. He can’t find us, because I won’t be able to finish what I started. And I’ve been looking forward to making you suffer for a long, long time.” The sound of her vile, hissed cackle made my skin crawl.

  Joshua screamed my name again. He was close, so close it sounded as if he were in the room. I knew Carnation would make me pay, and might very well kill me on the spot, but I had to do something to draw Joshua’s attention.

  As the mentally unstable bitch stared pensively at the door, I drew my leg back and kicked her in the shin as hard as I could. She let out a scream that intensified the ringing in my ears. Then as if realizing her mistake, she slapped a hand over her mouth and lunged toward me. My life would be over in a matter of seconds.

  The weathered worn door exploded with a deafening crack as Joshua burst into the room, gun drawn and pointed. A look of absolute shock registered on his face when he realized he was aiming his weapon at his former sub. As she raised her gun and started to point it to my head, Joshua fired. Carnation sailed backward with a shriek of pain that crashed through my thundering head.

  Loud footsteps running overhead mixed with the cacophony echoing in my ears. Closing my eyes I tried to combat the pain vibrating in my head.

  “Down here,” Joshua yelled.

  The agony inside my skull grew unbearable. With a whimper, I faded into the darkness.

  “Come on, baby, wake up. Please come back to me,” Joshua’s poignant plea coaxed me toward the surface.

  Opening my eyes, I tried to blink the blurry fog away. The light from the room felt like daggers, stabbing unmercifully into my skull. Squinting I saw Joshua sitting next to me on the couch, a tiny smile of relief tugged his lips, but his eyes still wore a veil of fear. Leaning over the back of the leather divan, Sanna gazed down at me as tears spilled down her cheeks. Reaching down, she softly caressed her hand over mine. Briefly closing my eyes, I savored her loving touch before realizing something cold and wet lay pressed around my head.

  “Did you kill her?” I asked Joshua licking my lips.

  “No,” he murmured. His tone was contrite.

  I raised a hand toward my throbbing head, but Joshua reached out and tenderly drew it back down. Static buzzed in my ears as commotion and chaos seemed to ripple all around me, making it hard to focus.

  Glancing over Joshua’s shoulder, I saw Carnation tied to a kitchen chair in the middle of the room. A silver strip of duct tape covered her mouth. Drake pressed a thick pad of gauze to her blood-stained shoulder as she jerked and thrashed, fighting his attempt to offer first-aid.

  A part of me wanted him to let her bleed out, while another part of me felt nothing but pity for the twisted and demented girl. Locking gazes with me, Carnation stopped struggling and shot me a hateful glare. Turning her attention on Joshua, she stared at his back; longing and rejection filled her tormented eyes.

  A few feet away, a heavyset man lay face down on the floor, hog-tied and silenced with another strip of tape. White gauze had been wrapped around his thigh. Blood seeped into a bright red circle, marking the spot where Dylan had shot him. Tideway. As if resigned to his fate, he didn’t struggle against his awkward position, but the dark evil flashing in eyes promised retribution.

  Anger chiseled Nick’s features. He looked deadly standing guard, gun aimed on the stalker as if ready to blow him away if given half a chance. A shiver raced up my spine.

  “Can we go home now?” I asked.

  “Soon, baby. Soon,” Sanna cooed.

  It seemed that Dylan had appeared out of nowhere. As he crouched next to my head, he set something on the floor and leaned in close to my face. Lifting each of my eyelids, he flashed a small light into my eyes and I winced.

  “How’s the head, sweetheart?” he asked in a soft, concerned tone.

  “Hurts,” I affirmed. “Can we go home now?”

  “Baby, I told you already, soon,” Sanna sniffed and shot Dylan a worried look.

  “She’s asked the same question before?” he quizzed my sister, who nodded. “Concussion. Don’t be alarmed if she asks it again, kitten.”

  I didn’t remember repeating myself, but my thoughts felt scattered like confetti in the breeze. I could pluck them out, but couldn’t hold onto them.

  “This is going to be a little cold, and it might sting. I’m going to put some betadine solution on your head. You’ve got a couple pretty good lacerations there, sweetheart,” Dylan explained as he pulled the cold, wet compress off my head.

  Alarmed at the amount of blood saturating the thick squares of gauze, I gasped.

  “It’s all right, baby. Head wounds bleed a lot.” Joshua’s soothing words contradicted the tension vibrating from his body. “Dylan is trying to minimize the risk of infection. Let him work on you, okay?”

  “Okay.”

  Dylan trickled the cold solution over my scalp and I hissed as the liquid stung my open lesions.

  The front door opened and James rushed in, followed by two white-shirted paramedics with Ian close behind. Quickly darting a glance at Tideway and Carnation, incapacitated and guarded by two men toting large rifles, the first-aid responders exchanged a nervous glance.

  “Check her out first,” Ian instructed as he herded the two men my way. “She’s a victim of the other two.”

  “I’m not a victim,” I corrected softly, as Dylan stood and stepped aside. “I’m a survivor.”

  Joshua grinned, a true grin that lit up his face and reached his eyes. “That you are, my love. That you are.”

  “Can we go home now?” I asked.

  “Oh, Mellie,” Sanna moaned. “Do something for her. Fix her. I want my sister back,” she instructed the paramedics as fat tears streamed down her cheeks.

  Dylan stepped around the couch, pulling her into his arms as she broke down in pitiful sobs.

  “I’m right here, sis. I’m fine,” I confirmed, wondering why she was coming so unhinged. “I got a couple bumps on the head, but I’m fine.”

  “You will be, little one,” Joshua assured.

  Two more paramedics, several firemen, and a couple of police officers paraded through the front door. Joshua stood up as the men in white slowly helped me sit up. I closed my eyes. There was too much motion in the room, and being in a vertical position made my stomach churn and my head spin.

  “Mellie?” Joshua softly called to me. Lifting my heavy lids, I peered up at him… all tall, handsome, and strong—and mine. “I’m right here if you need me, sweetheart.”

  “I’ll always need you,” I promised with a tiny smile before closing my eyes again.

  Listening to the conversations going on around me was hard, but I garnered bits and pieces of them. The fire had been contained and was purposefully set, but the lodge was no longer in danger. Someone had removed the duct tape over Carnation and Tideway’s mouths as they both responded ‘yes’ after being Mirandized.

  One of the paramedics told Joshua that I needed to go to the hospital, but that Tideway’s and Carnation’s gunshot wounds took precedence over my concussion. A derisive string of curses erupted from my sister’s mouth. Neither Dylan nor Nick reprimanded her, but a few soft chuckles resounded in the room. Even Joshua chuckled as he cradled me in his arms. Peeking up, I watched Sanna storm across the room, going toe-to-toe with one of the paramedics as she demanded I be transported in one of the ambulances. A tiny smile curled on my lips. We were indeed cut from the same cloth.

  Several minutes later, I lay nuzzled up in Joshua’s arms, but this time in the back seat of Nick’s truck as he drove us back to Chicago, to the hospital. Dylan peered over his shoulder in the passenger’s seat, watching me with a worried expression and gazing lovingly at Sanna as she sat next to me skimming her hand up and down my leg. Ian, James, and Drake remained behind to finish answering
the sheriff’s questions and to lock up the lodge.

  “Hey, Mel,” Sanna grinned, with a mischievous twinkle in her eyes. “We’re going home now.”

  #

  Two days later I sat in Joshua’s massive bed, loopy on pain meds and looking like I’d been in a cage match with a gorilla as he spoon-fed me soup that Sanna and her Masters had brought over earlier. Joshua had pampered me non-stop since I’d been released from the hospital the day before. My heart swelled at the adoration brimming in his eyes and the care he gave, tirelessly.

  It was time. Time to tell him the things I thought I’d be taking to my grave in that dank, cold cellar.

  “There’s something I need to say to you,” I announced, nervously.

  His brows furrowed slightly. “Okay. Tell me.”

  Swallowing tightly, a quivering smile fluttered on my lips. “I love you.”

  Joshua’s face fell lax in a bewildered sort of amazement, and he dropped the spoon. It landed with a clatter inside the glass bowl and I giggled.

  A stunned smile crawled across his lips, growing wider and brighter before he placed the soup on the nightstand and repositioned himself next to me. Carefully dragging me onto his lap, as if afraid he’d break me, he fluttered his skillful hands around my cheeks and stared at me… studying every freckle and pore.

  Leaning in, he brushed his lips to mine. “It’s about damn time, little one,” he whispered against my mouth. “I love you, too.”

  Sliding toward the center of the bed, he drew the covers over us and held me in his arms. Neither of us said anything for a long time; we simply savored the strange and newly fortified connection that bound us to each other.

  When nighttime came, he helped me into a long silk robe and carried me down the stairs, out the loft and all the way to the rose garden behind Christian’s gallery… the place where it all began. Seated on the padded bench, Joshua slung his arm around my waist, and we stared up at the stars.

  “When you were in England, I came here every night,” he confessed.