Wolves of Black Pine (The Wolfkin Saga Book 1)

by SJ Himes

  *Shaman…heal yourself first, then I’ll tell you.*

  *TELL ME WHO DIED.* Gray Shadow wasted precious energy demanding the truth, his mental strength faltering for a split second. Gray Shadow sent out a weak mind call along the blood connections he’d established in his family pack, and felt the voids of dead wolves just as Caius responded.

  *Three of our grandchildren and Marla.* Caius whispered softly, his own grief an overtone that was inescapable. Caius stood with his head bowed, eyes closed. Gray Shadow was swamped by pain, purely of the heart and soul. His grandchildren. Marla.

  He felt Josiah, his son lost to his own agony, both of the soul and body. He sent a wave of love and horrible relief that he was alive to his youngest child, but he was too weak to tell if Josiah felt him, his son’s pain was tremendous. Grief rode his son, and Gray Shadow knew that Josiah was fighting a battle with pain on his own, surrounded by the broken bodies of his cubs and mate. Marla was not just Josiah’s mate…. She had been his soulmate, bonded at a level past the commonplace of vows and affection. For Josiah to even be alive after the death of his soulmate was a testament to his son’s strength……and a hint of the hell he would be living in with his soulbonded mate dead.

  River was glaring at Caius and himself, the pale shaman clearly fed up with the delay in healing, muscles in his arms straining from pushing on the gaping entry wound.

  Gray Shadow caught a whisper of doubt from Caius, his thoughts briefly turning to the sound of the rushing waters mere feet away. He believed Luca to be dead as well. Kane hadn’t found him before the waterfall. Their youngest grandson was dead too.

  *No.* Gray Shadow growled, and it took every ounce of strength he had to turn his head at last, and look at the river. It was furious, white capped and rushing so fast a small cub would be battered against the rocks in seconds. Oh, my tiny cub. Not my Luca.

  *He’s gone, my brother. He’s gone.* Caius tried to reach out to him, but Gray Shadow closed his eyes, and withdrew from Caius, and did his best to hide his thoughts from River.

  *What are you doing?* River’s alarmed voice whispered in his head, trying to see his thoughts, the cord of light connecting them flaring once before settling, the stream of life energy still flowing. River was powerful, he may be able to prevent Gray Shadow from doing what he must. He couldn’t give up on Luca.

  When he’d sent the echo along the family pack lines, he hadn’t gotten a sense of emptiness from a void where Luca should have been if he was dead. His youngest grandson was alive. He was out there somewhere, unconscious and hurt. Kane wouldn’t be able to find him, not being a part of the family pack, and not a shaman trained to identify pack and family members by life force signatures. The shamans within his family were still apprentices, and his own former apprentices were not part of his family pack, with no natural blood connection to Luca. For one of the other shamans to establish a link to Luca in time to find him before he died was impossible. No one could find Luca by life energy in time……except Gray Shadow.

  *Luca lives, Caius. I can feel him. Our grandson lives.*

  *Are you certain?*

  *Yes.*

  *What are you planning?!* Caius demanded, his mind voice growing even more worried, and angry. *Heal yourself, dammit!*

  *There is a traitor, Caius. The human who shot me mentioned a contact, someone in the clans. The humans are after shamans. They knew me, and Luca, on sight. It’s why they chased us. There are humans nearby, who were coming as reinforcements of the men who hunted us. Find the traitor, and the humans. Do your duty, and protect our people.*

  *Gray Shadow, don’t do it. Whatever you’re thinking, don’t do it!*

  *There is no time, Luca is dying and Kane cannot find him. Josiah is my heir, he knows what to do. Goodbye, mo ghra.*

  Gray Shadow withdrew as far as he could from the outside world, while still staying aware of his body. He needed an anchor, and his body would be it. Hopefully he could find Luca quickly, before his body succumbed to silver poisoning and blood loss.

  Gray Shadow cast off the bonds from his Alpha, and deftly removed his thoughts from River, letting the other shaman maintain the cord to his body. They both tried to stop him, Caius trying in vain to make the Voice work on him, with River sending out nets of light, trying to hold his mind and spirit in his body. Gray Shadow took less than a second to send to Caius an emotional burst of exactly how much he’d enjoyed every second of the last several centuries at the alpha’s side, and then he worked his spell.

  The humans called it astral projection, the clans called it spirit walking. None of the currently living shamans could do this, but for Gray Shadow, and it took extreme stores of energy and strength. He was dying, and the silver was sapping his magic, each drop of blood seeping past River’s hands a second off his life. His life in exchange for Luca’s was an easy decision for him to make, and he made it without fear.

  Gray Shadow slipped away, his spirit forming briefly on the rocks beside the wolves kneeling next to his body. He nodded once to the wolves who looked up in shock at the glowing form of his spirit-wolf, before Gray Shadow turned his muzzle downstream. The magic in the blood of his grandson was calling to him as surely as if it was dripped in a trail for his nose to scent. They had similar spirits, he and Luca, and he could sense, in the far distance, a faint glimmer on the horizon of his awareness that was the cub. Gray Shadow began to run, his spirit form moving as fast as thought, flowing over the river as if it were a solid earthly path, and not a wild ribbon of water carved through the mountains.

  A thin cord of silver and gold light spun out from his spirit wolf, connecting him to his dying body. He prayed to the spirits of the living world and the Great Mother that the cord would hold, just long enough for him to save Luca.

  KANE THUNDERED through the underbrush, twigs snapping under his paws, earth churning as he leapt and dodged the towering pines. The trees were thick here, and he was forced back from the river by the lack of a shore, a steep drop taking place of the rocks. He would continue along this branch of the river for another half mile, then head back and take another branch. He wasn’t giving up. If there was no sign of Luca along this part of the river, he would return to the basin at the foot of the falls, and start over down a new branch. He would search them all until he found the cub.

  HE HURT. Badly. His chest was on fire, and he couldn’t escape, whimpering, fingers digging into the wet dirt under him. Luca coughed, and water bubbled from his throat, but he couldn’t draw in enough air. He was cold, his legs still in the water, and his head hurt just as badly as his chest. Luca tried to open his eyes, but his body was as confused as his thoughts, and he couldn’t do more than cry feebly.

  *Daddy! Grandpa!*

  GRAY SHADOW paused above the falls, standing on the rushing water as it plummeted down to the basin below. He thought he’d heard something, and he tilted his spectral head, expecting it to be one of the shamans or his Alpha, trying to call his spirit back to his body. He would fight them on this, saving his grandson was more important than them needing him alive. He’d lived long enough. River and Michael were capable and well-trained; Black Pine would not suffer overmuch in his absence.

  *Grandpa.* It was a plaintive whimper, so clear in his ear it was as if the cub was curled in his arms trying to nap, and complaining about too much noise. He was close.

  Gray Shadow threw himself from the falls, directing his path by thought and willpower. He soared through the pine groves, his feet immaterial and striding far faster than any physical gait he could muster. He wove through the ancient giants, their life force shining in pools of green and yellow, the oldest with cores of vibrant deep blue that bleed out to green. He sifted through the colors of life that blocked his view, and followed the river west and south, this smaller branch of the great river leveled out and gentle, unlike the others that traveled through the mountains in white capped fury.

  H
e saw it, a small sun of silver white light. A tiny orb to his Spiritsight, flickering beside the blue lights of the river. Luca.

  Gray Shadow moved as fast as this form would allow, and re-materialized above the cub. Luca was laying on his stomach, tiny fingers curled into the damp earth, lower legs still in the water. He was soaked through, his t-shirt and shorts clinging to his thin arms and legs.

  *Luca?* He could not speak aloud in this form, nor could he touch.

  His magic was still strong, strong enough to help the cub until help came for him. No response from the cub, his thoughts faint, as faint as the lights of his spirit. The frigid water from mountain runoff was killing the cub, and blood ran in a thin trickle from the light corn silk hair on his head. Bruises littered his arms, and Gray Shadow was certain the boy had internal injuries from being buffeted about in the river.

  Luca was breathing, albeit raggedly, his lungs partially filled with water, and his heart beat was slow and laborious. Gray Shadow lowered his spirit form next to the broken cub, and fought back the urge to howl in despair and frustration. He could not pick the cub up, nor use his magic to heal him. He was too weak to physically affect Luca in this form, his own body dying, the thin golden cord tying him to his corporeal form thinning with every minute that passed.

  *Kane?* If the alpha was nearby, then he could at least help, keep the cub warm until shamans came. He heard nothing, his strength failing him, his usual reach with mind calls diminished.

  The flickering orb of silver white light that glowed within Luca was still strong, and Gray Shadow wanted to weep seeing how alike his grandson’s nascent magic was to his own. If only the cub were older, he could shift, and the Change would spur his natural healing. Luca was only five summers, and the youngest a wolf had ever been recorded making their first Change was nine summers.

  Luca… not like this. I won’t let you die like this. A thought came to him, wordless, more instinct than complete realization. It was a subtle epiphany, but it may work. Gray Shadow curled his spirit wolf around the cub, and reached out to the tiny orb of light within his grandson.

  The initial touch of spirit to spirit was always a shock, like touching a moving wall of cool water with a warm hand. Their light flared, two fires burning brighter on first contact. Gray Shadow sent what strength he could to Luca’s spirit, and sought out the pathways in his heart and mind that led to his slumbering wolf. He was no Alpha to order the Change to an already awakened wolf within a stubborn clan mate; his power lay in the less physical aspects of their kind. While the body was the vessel for the Change from man to wolf and back, it was the spirit of the ancient dire wolf within them all that let them become more than human. It was that spirit which Gray Shadow sought.

  The Shaman went deep, guiding Luca’s spirit to that place inside his soul where the tiny shadow of the wolf he would one day become slept. He was years away from being ready, his spirit and body not yet aligned nor mature enough for the Change to happen on its own now. Yet Gray Shadow was old, his wolf and man fully joined to make one soul and spirit, both halves experienced in how to interact with each other. His duality was functional and seamless, and if he could show Luca at this primal level how to connect to his wolf, then the boy may be able to Change.

  *Grandpa?* Luca’s whisper was faint, full of exhaustion.

  *Sshhh, Luca. I’m here, just watch me. Reach out to your wolf. He’s waiting for you. See?* Gray Shadow led Luca’s mind to that small, quiet place, where the vaguest hints of a curled up wolf cub slept in the shadows. Gray Shadow’s old wolf was big, and fully melded to the human side of him, and Gray Shadow stepped to the sleeping wolf cub, letting Luca see as he walked what the man blended seamlessly to the wolf could look like. Two spirits become one during the first Change, never to be undone.

  *He’s sleeping. I’m tired. Can I sleep now?*

  *No Luca. Wake him up. Reach out and hug him. Then you’ll both feel better.*

  *Sleepy.*

  * I know, my little cub. Be strong. You can do this. Wake your wolf, and you can rest, I promise.*

  Luca was stubborn, even dying and exhausted. His spirit trembled, edging towards throwing a fit and refusing to cooperate, and risking death as he wasted his few reserves of energy.

  Gray Shadow gave him what energy he could, feeling himself falter, the connection to his own faraway body thinning rapidly. The cub must Change, and now.

  *Luca. You can do this, you’re a shaman just like me. Wake your wolf, and show me how strong you are.* Less cajoling and more of an order, and Luca responded. His orb of silver-white light zipped through the shadows of the darkest parts of his soul, akin to a wolf-den dug out of a stone cave, towards the young wolf that slumbered peacefully, tiny head tucked under a colorless plume of a bushy tail.

  *Yes! Wake him, Luca!* Gray Shadow followed, watching, waiting, impatient and hoping.

  Luca shivered, the light bouncing off walls of damp black earth and gray stone that didn’t exist, and he hovered in front of the slumbering wolf pup. The light grew, and Gray Shadow sent him all the love and reassurance he could. To be brave. He could do the impossible.

  The spirit cub glowed, unmoving, becoming more substantial the closer Luca’s spirit got, the brighter he shined. Colorless fur darkened, each wave of color more defined. The bushy tail quivered, the tip thumping on the cave floor as if it were real. Luca laughed, and flew closer, so close, nearly touching now, and Gray Shadow could hear another heart beating. Luca’s wolf.

  He almost missed it. One moment Luca’s spirit shined like a miniature sun, independent and contained. The next, Luca was within the wolf, lighting him….no…them….lighting them both up like a starry vista painted on an ink black horizon. The cub lifted his head, gray snout capped by a solid black nose, eyes as silver as the ones Gray Shadow saw in the mirror, ears pointy and big for his small head.

  *Yes! Run Luca! Run!* Gray Shadow exalted, happiness overriding his own exhaustion. Luca the wolf rose to his feet, gangly and clumsy, yet beautiful. He took one hesitant step, then another, tail sweeping out in an excited arc. *Follow me, Luca. Come on, one last step.*

  The cub wagged his tail, and tried to run, tripping over his feet but following Gray Shadow’s spirit with the enthusiasm of youth. He led the way, pulling his consciousness from Luca’s, returning to the real world beside the river just in time for the Change to embrace his grandson.

  RIVER CRIED out in frustration, and Caius knelt at his side, one hand heavy on the Shaman’s shoulder. Gray Shadow was still unconscious, his spirit walking far from them, searching for their grandson.

  “What is it?” Caius asked, fearful of the shaman’s answer.

  “He’s deliberately pulling his own life force out of himself. He’s draining himself for some reason,” River growled, sobbing past his anger. “Great Mother, no.”

  “River?” Michael moved closer, eyes worried, tears of his own streaking down his cheeks.

  “Gray Shadow is doing something, I can’t tell what. It’s drawing tremendous power from his body. I didn’t know he was this strong…. He knows….he knows it will kill him. Whatever it is he’s doing…… He’s not planning on surviving this.”

  USUALLY WHEN a cub shifted, Changed, for the first time, it was an awkward, drawn out and painful affair that left cub and parents exhausted and hurting. It was very near to actual birthing, and just as messy. Many times an alpha would assist, to order the last few waves of the Change into completion, if the cub wasn’t strong enough to do so on his or her own. Hands and feet first, torso last, or vice versa, always a mess.

  This time….. Gray Shadow rejoiced as the Change came over Luca. It was like watching the spirit be reborn; there was no pain, no warped body parts or cries of fear. Luca rolled to his back, eyes open to the canopy above, human brown melting away to be replaced by mercurial silver, shining like shards of a mirror. A white and silver mist coalesced around the
cub, his spirit manifested in the physical world. Tiny pinpoints of brilliant white light sparked in the mist, little bursts of lightning arcing as the cloud grew and solidified. Silver stars shimmered in the cloud, as if he were seeing the night sky through breaks in a storm. Gray Shadow pulled back, lest his spirit-wolf mingle with the Changing cub, and he watched the impossible, a transformation that his people had long attributed to myth and legend. Not since the days of the First Wolves had a Change happened like this.

  Luca yipped, a writhing wiggle of half-seen limbs and gray fur that Gray Shadow could just make out through the sparkling cloud. As quickly as the mist formed, it was gone, sucked back into the cub, now a true wolf standing on four splayed paws. Luca shined for a second, miniscule spots, like distant stars, glimmered in his eyes and along his coat, before the magic faded, leaving a soaking wet cub shaking on a river bank.

  *I am so proud of you.* Gray Shadow refused to let the cub hear anything from him but pride and love; his heart was breaking. By encouraging the melding of boy and cub so early, without Luca having any training, Gray Shadow had inadvertently torn down any walls that inhibited Luca’s magic until he was mature enough to wield it effectively. His power was now his own, fully accessible. There would be no waiting for Luca to hit puberty to learn what he was—he was a shaman now. Untrained, and incredibly pure in power.

  And Gray Shadow would not be there to teach him.

  Gray Shadow heard an offbeat echo along the cord tying him to his body. Deep, yet erratic. His heart. His body was about to die. The weakest of cries shivered along the cord, as if River or Caius were calling him back. Caius’ call made his heart ache sharply, but he refused would not regret his decision to save Luca. He ignored the pleas, refusing to leave Luca until the very last, when he had no choice. The child may be a wolf now, but he was still a tiny thing, helpless and alone in the woods.