Pulse (Collide)

by Gail McHugh

  Once they entered the kitchen, both women were happy to see neither man was in the process of setting the house ablaze. Father and son had put the groceries away and started mixing, sizzling, and baking what smelled to be something delicious.

  “Don’t ever let them think you can’t train them,” Lillian whispered, her smile as contagious as Gavin’s. “It’s actually quite easy.”

  “I’ll keep that in mind,” Emily responded, completely unable to stifle a small giggle.

  Turning with a frying pan in his hand, Gavin caught Emily’s gaze. He grinned and did some fancy flick with his wrist, popping what appeared to be pasta up from the pan the way a trained chef would. “Quite talented, right?” he asked, reaching for his bottle of cold brew on the counter. After downing a sip, he attempted to show off again only to flop half of the noodles onto the floor. Marinara sauce coated the kitchen from one end to the other.

  Gavin looked up from the mess half-laughing and half-groaning while rolling his eyes. Needless to say, he was the only one groaning, because right along with Emily belting out a laugh, so did his parents. Several damp paper towels, some cleaning product, and a quick mop of the floor later, Mr. Show Off’s failed attempt was a thing of the past. Within a half hour, Lillian had everything under control.

  The four sat down in the dining room for a hearty, home-cooked meal of house salad, breaded eggplant parmesan, Italian bread, and courtesy of Gavin, a tiny helping of pasta. Emily relaxed a bit, enjoying the conversation while she could. She knew their news would soon end it.

  She learned Chad and Lillian met while attending Harvard Law School. Not quite your typical “love at first sight” story, but Emily found out where Gavin gained his tendency to relentlessly pursue what he wanted. Chad had chased Lillian for two semesters, insisting he was the man for her, until she eventually agreed to go out on one date with him. Emily inwardly laughed at how that apple didn’t fall far from the tree. To their surprise, Lillian found out she was pregnant with Colton the following year. They agreed she would leave school for the time being to stay home and raise Colton. A shotgun wedding, another baby, a mortgage, a dog, and Little League baseball practices later, Lillian never made her way back to law school. However, as Emily took in the story of their life together, there didn’t seem to be an ounce of regret in either of their eyes when they looked at one another. Instead, a lifetime of love and memories bled through every word, smile, and hoot of laughter.

  After clearing the remnants of dinner from the table and waiting for his parents to bring dessert into the dining room, Gavin couldn’t help but hear Emily’s heel pat the hardwood floor in relentless, jerky taps. The sound echoed, pouncing off the walls like raindrops against a glass window. God, he hated that she was so nervous. It scorched his heart.

  Before he could tell her everything was going to be fine, his parents breezed into the room, his father gripping a freshly brewed pot of coffee and his mother holding a homemade apple pie. With their seats reclaimed, Lillian sliced into the just out-of-the-oven dessert and served them each a slice. Staring at his father from across the table, Gavin could see he was nervous as well. His ashen, troubled expression told all. Gavin couldn’t even feign a smile as he slugged back the rest of his beer in one long gulp. Hell. His nerves were lighting up, but he knew he needed to strike up the damn conversation. However, his voice got tangled up in his racing thoughts, his words sticking to his tongue like molasses.

  His father looked at him once more, nodding as he cleared his throat. “Lillian, Gavin and Emily have some… news they want to share.” His eyes locked on Gavin’s with such solemn seriousness, Gavin wanted to leave and take Emily as far away as possible to somewhere no one would ever find them. “Go ahead, son. Let your mother know what’s going on.”

  Reaching for Emily’s hand, Gavin turned to her and placed a soft kiss on her quivering lips. “I love you.” His eyes traced over her face as he pulled away.

  “I love you too,” she said softly.

  “What’s going on, Gavin?” Lillian asked with a furrowed, wary brow of a probing mother.

  After a moment’s hesitation, the confession. “Mom, Emily’s pregnant and… the baby may not be mine.”

  Lillian’s face melted into pure astonishment, her shock clear in the bloodless paling of her white skin and flabbergasted, slacked jaw. Bewilderment shadowed her once vibrant green eyes like a cloak. Her gaze roamed over Emily suspiciously. “You’re with my son, yet you may be having a child with someone else?” Pushing her plate away, she leaned back, bringing her hand to her chest. “I guess my impression of you was incorrect, Emily. I mistook you for a woman who would stay faithful to my son.”

  Emily opened her mouth, but she couldn’t sort through the thousands of words flying around in her scattered brain.

  “Now, Lillian, wait a minute. She’s been faithful to Gavin. There’s more to the story than you know,” Chad pointed out with the shake of his head. “Hear them out for a minute.”

  Lillian sucked in an indignant breath, her eyes battering her husband. “You knew about this and didn’t tell me?” Her attention flew to Gavin. “Is there a reason I’ve been left in the dark?”

  “Yeah, mom, there is.” Gavin leaned his elbow on the table. “I anticipated this exact reaction from you. Are you going to let us explain? If not, then we’ll go ahead and leave right now.”

  Thick, tense silence coated the room before Lillian blinked her heavily mascara-painted lashes and nodded. As though she might turn into a statue if she accidentally met Emily’s gaze, her eyes avoided Emily’s path, focusing solely on Gavin. “What happened?” she asked, her voice softer while she raised both eyebrows at him.

  Emily stared at her, stricken by the depth of anger and sadness clouding her face. She felt ill, and in that moment, she swore she wasn’t going to make it through the conversation without heaving. Lips parting without a word, Emily lifted her watery eyes to Gavin, waiting for him to respond.

  “Emily and I were together after she and Dillon broke up the first time.”

  “This is the same Dillon you’re friends with?” Lillian interrupted. “Your broker?”

  “The same man I used to be friends with, yes. He’s no longer my broker.”

  “Well how does something like that happen, Gavin? I’m just assuming here, but it doesn’t sound like any of this ended very well.” Lillian swung her eyes to Chad, her face dripping with mortification. “Did we raise our sons to just go off with their friends’ girlfriends?”

  Chad lifted a brow, his tone resolute. “No. But we didn’t raise our sons to give up on something they believed in, either.”

  “At what expense, Chad?” she asked, seeming astonished by his answer. “Since when did stealing a friend’s girlfriend become popular?”

  “He didn’t steal me away,” Emily softly spoke up. She looked from Lillian to her hands, tangled nervously with Gavin’s, in her lap. As her thoughts tossed her back to the first second she saw Gavin, she was unable to keep the barest of smiles from her lips. She brought her eyes to his, her gaze stroking his beautiful face. “Well, he did steal my heart away from Dillon. But when that happened… your son wasn’t aware he did it.”

  With a light smile that matched hers, Gavin palmed Emily’s cheek, his heart falling further in his chest. Holding his breath, he still couldn’t believe she was his. After a moment, he dropped his hand, inhaled deeply, and glanced at his mother. She seemed more confused than before. “The fact is, our love is so far past the point of return, it’s actually scary. It has been for a while. We just had a few kinks to work out. No, the way we got together wasn’t right in the opinions of some, but I couldn’t care less. I’m pretty sure the woman sitting next to me couldn’t either. We’re in love. A deep, sick, twisted love like they make movies about. We’re looking fear in the face together and telling it to take a hike. This baby might not be mine, but even if it’s not… it is. It’s a piece of Emily, mom, and there’s not a piece of your son that couldn�
��t love it. There’s not a piece of your son that couldn’t love her.”

  As tears soaked Emily’s lashes, she noticed a tear fall from Lillian’s cheek and land with a plop onto the white linen tablecloth. Swallowing, Emily watched Lillian stand, her almond-shaped eyes flashing between her and Gavin.

  “I don’t think I can support this relationship,” she choked out though a frown. “I just…” She brought her hand to her throat, stroking her long, delicate fingers across her flesh. She looked at Chad, who released a heavy, defeated sigh and reached for her hand. He squeezed it before she turned and walked out of the room, her sniffles echoing throughout the home until they disappeared into whispers of nothing with the closing of a door.

  No longer able to witness the grief she’d brought to this once solid family, Emily scrambled out of her chair, her heart breaking a million times over as she swallowed back a sob.

  Gavin surged to his feet, catching Emily’s arm as she headed for the front door. He stroked the hair away from her face. “Wait! Emily, listen to me—”

  “No, you listen to me, Gavin.” She cradled his face in her palms, as she gulped for air. “Do you remember telling me you almost picked up the phone to call me when I left you, but you didn’t?”

  With confused, worried eyes, Gavin searched her face. “Yes. What does that have to do with this?”

  “I hated myself because every time I looked at my phone, I wanted to call you. I wanted so desperately to call and tell you how sorry I was for not believing you, but I couldn’t. Something held me back. You also told me you got in your car and almost drove to my apartment, but you didn’t. I did the same. I jumped in a taxi and had them drive me to your building. I stood outside looking up, wondering what you were doing and fearing who you were doing it with. I wanted so badly to see you. My heart was torn, broken into pieces, Gavin. I felt physical pain while we were apart. I didn’t believe that kind of pain existed. It was something so entirely different than what I felt when I lost my mother. It cut deeper. But I couldn’t bring myself to get in that elevator and go to you. I didn’t want Dillon. I wanted you.”

  “Emily, stop.” Gavin gripped her waist, pulling her against his chest. “Why are you saying all of this?”

  “I’m saying this because it’s said breaths are stolen during a passionate kiss. That’s not true, Gavin, because I literally can’t breathe before your lips even touch mine. I try, but I’m unable to. I can’t think when you look at me. You strip my mind bare. You always have, and it’s beautiful and consuming. It’s magical and everything a girl is supposed to feel. It’s said you’re truly in love with someone if your skin tingles from their touch. Mine tingles when I hear your voice; I don’t need you to touch me. I can feel you when you’re not near me. I feel you in my dreams. I felt you when you were a thousand miles away.

  “You scared me the moment I saw you, and I think it’s because I knew, I just knew, I was going to fall in love you. I didn’t know our worlds were already intertwined, but my heart somehow knew it belonged to you from the start. I didn’t believe a pain so deep existed while we were apart, but I also didn’t believe a love like ours existed. You’ve shown me it does. You’ve shown me good when there was bad. You’ve given me pleasure above all of my pain. You’ve given me life when I thought I was dead.”

  Emily paused, tears streaming down her face in a rush. “It’s also said if you love someone enough, you’ll let them go if all you’re doing is causing them pain. That’s all I’ve ever caused you, Gavin. From the moment we met, I’ve turned your world upside down. And now this. I can’t have you not speaking to your mother because of me. I love you enough to let you go so she can continue to love you.”

  Gavin recoiled. Feeling knocked off balance, a flash of pain shot through his chest. He swallowed, inhaling a deep, broken breath as he stared into her eyes. “You can’t leave me,” he said, hearing the desperation shaking in his voice.

  “I have to,” she choked out, dying from the fear she saw on his face. “I can’t be the reason your family falls apart.”

  “You won’t be,” Lillian’s soft voice hummed through the air, reassuring certainty filling her tone. Emily faced her, blinking her wet eyes in surprise. Head spinning with confusion, she swiped her fingers across her cheeks, her body shaking. “You won’t be the reason our family falls apart because I wouldn’t allow a woman who loves my son as much as you do to walk out of his life.” Stepping closer, Lillian placed a tentative hand on Emily’s shoulder, her eyes spilling over with tears. “I wouldn’t allow you to walk out of our lives. What you were about to give up, though it would’ve hurt my son, was selfless. I once knew a girl who loved a man so much it scared her, too.” Lillian paused, her gaze falling on Chad. The corner of her mouth turned up in a small, sad smile as he made his way toward her. Bringing her eyes back to Emily’s, Lillian shook her head. “It would’ve killed me if I had to give up those stolen breaths before he kissed me. Whether or not the baby you’re carrying is my grandchild, I’d be honored to call you my daughter.”

  Emily’s breath caught, her heart pounding so hard she could hear it as Lillian pulled her in for a long hug. Emily cried against the shoulder of the woman who brought life to the man she loved so desperately. Not only was Emily thankful she didn’t have to give up the stolen breaths he took from her, she was thankful that somehow on this cold, snowy night, in the year her life would change in multiple ways, she gained a mother.

  Emily closed the penthouse door behind her, smiling when Gavin stood from the couch, holding a box of Valentine’s Day chocolates. She peeled her coat and scarf from her body and tossed them onto the couch as she moved through the living room, toward him. “You do realize those are almost two weeks old, right?” She smiled as she looped her arms around his neck. “And do you ever eat anything healthy?”

  With a chocolaty smile, he kissed her. “I do realize they’re almost two weeks old, and no. The unhealthier the better.”

  She smacked her lips together, tasting the small bit of chocolate he stamped on them. Considering he had teeth any dentist would be proud to say they worked on, she was surprised he basically lived off of anything coated in sugar. The sweeter, the better. Over the last couple of months, she’d discovered other little things about Gavin that made him who he was. Who she kept falling in love with. Without fail, twice a day, he’d spend at least thirty minutes, sometimes longer, in the shower, filling up the bathroom with hot steam while blasting Breaking Benjamin from a surround sound system built into the walls. Oh, and in his best efforts, he sang along. To her surprise, but without a doubt to her liking, he had a wonderful addiction of sleeping nude. She was a lucky girl who awoke every morning to nothing but rock hard, naked alpha male.

  He wasn’t without odd habits either. Emily considered him borderline OCD and possibly in need of therapist intervention. He was a clean freak in the worst possible way. Shit, if he found a crumb from a sandwich she’d eaten, it didn’t take him but a split second to grab some paper towels and Windex and swiftly wipe down the surface. This she’d laugh at, confused, because he had a housekeeper who came to clean four days a week. It was as if he needed the penthouse sparkling before the woman came to do her job.

  Needless to say, Emily was attempting to break him of that quirk, easing him into the fact it was indeed okay to leave some laundry piled up in the corner. However, that was a battle she usually lost. Either way, she considered every one of his little quirks and idiosyncrasies ravishingly cute. She couldn’t help but love his many layers.

  With a smile, she dropped her purse and a towering stack of mail onto the kitchen island. Gavin followed her and lounged into a chair, watching Emily pull open the refrigerator. Shuffling through the slush pile of invitations to local charity balls, Gavin plucked out his first delivery of Architectural Digest.

  “You have a letter here,” Gavin informed her, sliding the envelope across the granite countertop. Opening the magazine, his eyes scanned a luxury Italian villa in Agropo
li, straddling the Tyrrhenian Sea. “I also paid off your Visa. I suggest if you’re going to hide your credit card statements in a horrible effort to dissuade me from taking care of your bills, you should come up with a savvier hiding place than your jewelry box.” Sporting a devious smirk, he lifted his shoulder in a casual shrug. “There’s a surprise for you in the lower level compartment. Now we’re both sneaks.”

  Pressing her lips together, Emily lifted two guilty brows, but she couldn’t deny he was correct about finding a better spot to hide her bills. Challenge accepted, she yanked the envelope from the counter and popped a kiss onto his sneaky temple. “What did you get me?”

  Eyes locked on his magazine, his tone was as cool as a lazy fall breeze. “I’ll pass on that question and let you figure it out for yourself.” With a slight jerk of his head in the direction of the bedroom, those baby blues still glued to the magazine, a smile curled the corner of his mouth. “Go.”

  On a sigh and a smile of her own, Emily started for the bedroom. She slid her finger under the lip of the envelope, tearing it open. With a small gasp, she stopped, looking down at the finger that’d been assaulted with a fresh paper cut. She sucked the wound, trying to ease the pain. With the envelope in her uninjured hand, and the burn starting to dissipate, she flipped over the envelope, her heart nearly stopping when her gaze triggered in on the handwriting on the front.

  Though it was void of a return address, there was no mistaking Dillon’s scrawl. She swallowed and pulled out the paper, quickly unfolding it. Heart jumping wildly, she scanned a photocopy of an explanation of benefits from her old insurance company. It was a detailed breakdown of her doctor’s visit from a few weeks earlier. Confused, because she specifically remembered giving the receptionist her new insurance information and address, Emily didn’t understand how the paperwork wound up with Dillon. With a blood red marker, he’d circled the words “First trimester fetal sonogram.” At the bottom of the paper, he wrote: