“Too late,” Ainsley muttered. She squeezed Kenzie’s hand in goodbye and left with the hulking man who, in turn, reached out and brought her close for a hug before quickly letting her go. Kenzie didn’t understand the two’s relationship, but as it was, she was having trouble thinking clearly with the dark spots dancing in front of her eyes.
“Shit, Kenzie?” Dare cupped her face, and she blinked rapidly. “Let’s get you upstairs. You look ready to pass out.”
She pulled away from him for the second time that day and blew out a breath. “I’m fine. Really. I’m just going to go to my room. Thank you.”
He studied her face for a moment before taking a step away from her. She didn’t know if she was pleased or not that he was giving her space. “I’ll watch you walk up, just in case.”
“You have a bar to run,” she argued.
“And it can run itself for a minute. Come on.” And with that, she followed him to the staircase and left him at the bottom as she walked to her room, her hands subtly shaking. She hated that she reacted this way to raised voices, but with the fight added to what had happened with Jeremy earlier, her nerves were shot.
She forced herself not to look at Dare when she made it to the top of the stairs and turned to her room. She wasn’t sure what she’d say if she saw his face anyway.
As it was, she knew as she locked her door behind her and leaned against the solid wood, that his face would haunt her dreams again tonight.
And there was nothing she could do about it.
Chapter 7
Dare leaned back against the shower stall and gripped his length in his palm. He had to be quick since he was already running late, but his damn cock had been hard all day. So hard, in fact, he was pretty sure he had zipper marks on his flesh that would never go away.
Water slid down his stomach and over his hand as he cupped his balls and rocked into his hold. He only had one person on his mind as he stroked himself, and it was the one woman he knew he shouldn’t.
But he couldn’t help but imagine Kenzie’s lips around his cock as he slid in and out of her mouth. He’d wrap that long hair of hers around his fist and get right to the edge of coming before pulling out and picking her up by her hips. Then he’d thrust into her wet heat, pounding into her as she fucked him back, hard, and they would come together in the cooling water of the shower.
His hand tightened around himself as he thought of her bright eyes going dark with lust, and soon, he was coming, leaving a trail in the water at his feet as it swirled down the drain.
“Fuck,” he muttered. He was a damn fool. He quickly washed the rest of himself in the last of his warm water and turned off the shower. With a sigh, he opened the glass door and grabbed his towel so he could dry off.
He’d had a long morning at the bar dealing with his usual paperwork. And because his mind had been on Kenzie and her reaction to not only her brother but also the altercation the night before, he’d been slow. Now, he was running late for his family dinner, and he was going to hear about it.
It was bad enough that this wasn’t his weekend with Nate so his mom would make pointed remarks about how she wished her grandson were there with her granddaughter. He knew she didn’t mean anything by it other than professing a profound sadness that she didn’t have as much time with Nate as she would like, but it still grated on Dare that he hadn’t been able to be a better man in the first place. If he’d paid more attention to Monica and spent less time at his job, he might have had a fighting chance of getting more time with Nate in the end. But now there was nothing he could do, even though he’d tried to get more time a month through his lawyer.
That meant he’d sit through this meal with a family that loved him but wasn’t complete because he’d made too many mistakes.
And one more issue was thinking about Kenzie the way he had. He needed to stop doing that, or he’d fuck up even more than he already had. She’d pulled away from his touch more than once even though he’d been casual about it, and that meant he shouldn’t think of her in any way that was sexual.
His shower with her as his fantasy would be the last time. It had to be.
Determined to put the temptation of her out of his mind, he quickly dressed, ran a comb through his short hair, and grabbed his things so he could head to his parents’. He could have probably jogged over, but the weatherman had called for rain, so Dare drove the few minutes to the place where he’d grown up and his parents still lived.
He’d loved this house when he was a kid, and loved it even more now. It had a wide porch and tall trees and was big enough for a growing family of three rambunctious boys and a sweet-as-can-be little girl. He knew his parents wanted it filled with more grandchildren soon, and he had a feeling that Tabby and Alex would help them out with that—even all the way from Denver.
Before he could even walk up the steps, his mother opened the door, a hesitant smile on her face. “Dare. You came.”
And now he felt like a heel. He’d kept his distance at first because he was trying to cope with the change—something he’d never been very good at—and then he’d been busy with work and Nate. He’d been hurt, yes, that his parents had kept their plans to themselves, but when he’d taken a step back and thought about it, he knew it was because they wanted to make sure none of their children had to worry about the details. All of them still worried, of course, but he wouldn’t tell his parents that.
As the days had passed since their announcement, however, and Dare calmed down, he hadn’t known how to broach the subject. So he’d avoided it and them and buried himself in work—and dreams of Kenzie.
Not that the latter meant anything. It was something he would never repeat, but he couldn’t quite bury that under the rug now, could he? Not with what he’d just done in the shower less than twenty minutes ago.
But that didn’t matter now. His mother was waiting for him to say something, and he hated that her smile had been hesitant because of him. Dare needed to fix this, and the only way he could think to do that was by walking right up to her and bringing her in for a hug.
She smelled of roast and a little pine, probably from what she’d been cooking and cleaning before he made it to the house. He tucked her close, and she let out a surprised sigh before wrapping her arms around his waist and tightening her hold.
“Missed you, Mom.” Despite how they all sucked at communication, his family was too close for little things to keep them apart, and Dare just needed to get over himself.
She patted his back and kept her hold on him. “I missed you, too. I’m sorry, baby.”
He shook his head as he pulled away so he could look at her face. “Don’t apologize. It’s all behind us now. You’ll have time for yourself and Dad, and Kenzie is doing a bang-up job on the inn. You just surprised me, is all. Everything’s fine.”
His mom went up on her toes to pat his face like he was a little kid instead of her bearded adult son. “Good. Now get inside. You’re late, and I’m starving.”
He couldn’t help but chuckle as he followed his mother inside. Fox stood next to the kitchen island with a beer in his hand, laughing at something his father said. Loch had Misty on his back and was feeding her from the antipasti plate as she bounced and giggled.
This was his family, at least part of it. Soon, they’d be off in Denver to visit Tabby and Alex for the wedding, and everyone would be together. Everyone tried to make family dinners once a month, and usually, Loch brought Ainsley with him. She was family even though she and Loch had never dated.
“I’m sorry Ainsley couldn’t come,” his mother said, echoing Dare’s thoughts. She was strange that way, and he was pretty sure she could read minds like she’d claimed she could when he was a kid. It was a Mom thing, apparently.
“She’s grading,” Misty pouted before looking over at her grandmother and fluttering her eyelashes. “I got a gold star.” Dare’s niece beamed, and he grinned, taking the offered beer from Fox, who had come to stand next to him.
&nb
sp; “She’ll come next time,” Loch said simply and knelt down so Misty could hop off his back. “Go say hi to your uncle, bug.”
“Uncle Bug!” Misty said with a laugh as she crashed into Dare’s legs.
Dare rolled his eyes as Fox took a photo, grinning. Fox was always capturing their memories, though Dare wasn’t sure if it was for their shared cloud album this time or just because Fox liked the name Uncle Bug and wanted to remember it.
“You’re the bug, little bug.” Dare picked up Misty and tossed her over his shoulder, and she let out a high-pitched squeal.
“Don’t drop her, Uncle Bug,” Fox said, laughing.
He was going to have to hit Fox later when his parents weren’t looking.
“Stop roughhousing with your niece,” his mom scolded. “You’re teaching her bad manners.”
“Tabby tackled her brothers as much as they did each other,” his father put in. He held up his hands when his wife gave him a pointed look. “Or maybe just do the wrestling outside?” His parents’ relationship was one Dare had wanted with someone when he’d thought about getting married, but he wasn’t sure he’d ever have that. Not with whom he was as a person now.
Putting those weird thoughts from his mind, Dare laughed and set Misty on her feet. She hugged his legs once more and then went to hug Fox’s before going back to her dad’s and jumping into his lap. Loch had taken a seat at the big table and let out a strangled groan when Misty jumped.
Yeah, Dare had been there with Nate’s knees, as well. Kids were rough, but hell, he loved his damn family so much. One day, if Monica gave in and the courts allowed it, he’d be able to have more of this with his son. It wouldn’t be stolen weekends and hesitant promises.
“Okay, come help me get all this food on the table and let’s eat,” his mom began. “We have lasagna, Alfredo, salad, antipasti, and tons of bread. Plus I made those mushroom things you like, Dare.”
His stomach rumbled, and he took a quick sip of his beer before setting it down at his place at the table before going to help his mom. Both of his parents could cook and, thankfully, had shared their talents with all four of their kids. He was probably the last on the rankings in terms of cooking, but he did okay for himself, and Nate never went hungry the weekends Dare had him.
Dare sat by Fox, who kept trying to steal his bread even with his attention on his phone and not the conversation. His mother had tried to keep electronics away from the dinner table, but with Dare being on call at all hours of the day at the bar and restaurant, Loch the same for his business, and Fox needing to be kept up-to-date on local and national news, it just didn’t make sense.
When they were all in Denver for Tabby’s wedding, they’d either implode or relax. Which, he honestly didn’t know.
They dug in with gusto, catching up on each other’s days and laughing like they hadn’t seen each other in weeks rather than a few hours in some cases. It was times like these that Dare really missed his younger sister, and while he was happy that she’d found her fiancé and his family so she wasn’t alone, it just wasn’t the same without her. Sure, she called in every other day and was constantly in a texting loop with at least two of them at a time, but she was going to be a Montgomery now, and that was still a little weird for him.
His phone buzzed right when they were working on dessert—a custard his mother had made from freaking scratch that, therefore, put her on a pedestal for the night. He looked down at the screen and frowned.
“Who is it?” Loch asked softly as the other members of his family talked amongst themselves. Loch wouldn’t have even asked if Dare hadn’t been frowning since his big brother usually kept out of his business, and Dare tried to do the same for him.
No need to lie since his brother knew about his past. “Jesse.”
“Shit.” A pause. “You going to answer?”
He hadn’t the past three times because he’d been a coward, but he wasn’t sure he could hide for much longer. It wasn’t that he never talked to her, but sometimes, his brain just couldn’t function and get the words out when it came to his partner’s widow.
Dare nodded as he stood up from the table and answered the phone. “One sec,” he said quickly into the phone so he could get out of earshot of his family. Once he was out on the back deck, he sighed. “Sorry, Jesse.”
He didn’t know what he was apologizing for. For making her wait those few short moments? Not answering her calls? Pushing her away when he should have stood by her? Walking away when she’d been the one to push him out of her life first?
Or, really, was it that he was sorry that her husband was dead and he was still here, breathing?
“You answered,” she said softly, her slight Columbian accent a bare whisper.
“I should have before this.” He rubbed his temple and leaned against one of the pillars on the deck.
“I know you couldn’t. I didn’t answer every call you made when it first happened. Sometimes, we can’t talk, Dare, and I understand that. It’s hard and brings up memories that might be better left buried, but every time I look into my little girl’s face, I can’t hide from what I lost. So I’m going to keep calling, even if you don’t answer. I know you’ll call back when you can.”
Shame crawled into his belly like a familiar, icy companion. “How’s Bethany?”
He listened to her talk about her daughter, who had never gotten to know her father, and nodded along as Jesse spoke about her life. And when he hung up, he let out a breath, his hands shaking. Instead of going back inside to the warm house and laughter, he texted Loch, letting him know he was heading out, and walked around the house to his car. His brothers would let the others know why he needed to leave without saying goodbye, and they would understand.
But for now, Dare just needed a moment to catch his breath, and he wasn’t sure he could do that with his family looking on.
Once again, he was running from his problems, but at least he was thinking about them this time instead of burying them so deeply that he knew they’d rot away, leaving him nothing but a husk of the man he used to be.
Instead of going home where he’d drink a beer and just sit there wallowing, he drove to the bar. It wasn’t a busy night, thankfully, and Rick and Claire had the place handled so he went back to his office and decided to get some paperwork done. He didn’t want to be alone in his home without his kid and with all his memories, but he also didn’t care to deal with strangers or his staff.
“Dare?”
He looked up from his desk at the sound of Kenzie’s voice, surprised that she was still downstairs. “What’s wrong?”
She frowned at him before walking fully into his office and closing the door behind her. “Nothing’s wrong with me…why is that your first question?”
He shook his head, leaning back in his chair. “Habit, I guess. I was a cop for too long, and now I’m a bartender. It’s what I do.”
Kenzie studied his face before leaning against the desk. “I tend to look at the world that way, too, I guess.”
He frowned and leaned back in his chair, gesturing toward the other chair in the office. “Want to sit?”
“I’ve been sitting most of the day going over paperwork and scheduling while I let Samantha work the front.”
He remembered that Samantha was the assistant his parents had finally hired a couple of days ago. And since the other woman was in training, he bet that Kenzie hadn’t left the other woman on her own much.
She shrugged when he mentioned it. “True. She’s smart and learns quickly, but while I didn’t want to hover, neither of us is ready for her to take over all the responsibilities completely.”
“You jumped right in far quicker,” he pointed out.
Kenzie smiled softly. “I had more experience, and your parents didn’t cut the strings completely. They’re still around.”
“True, but not as much, and I’m grateful for that.”
She snorted. “Like that your family isn’t in your business as much as they wer
e?”
“I don’t mind that even when I think I do.” He let out a short laugh. “I meant the fact that my parents are actually sleeping in most days and using the word vacation. It’s been far too long, you know?”
At that, she smiled, and his breath caught. He’d known she was beautiful, couldn’t help but realize it. But when she smiled, and the darkness slid from her gaze? Fucking stunning.
But the thought of that darkness reminded him of the fight in the bar. “Did the fight bother you?”
Her face shut down, going back to that iciness he’d first seen, the coldness he’d thought had melted away. “Fight?”
He was messing this up, and he didn’t know why, but he couldn’t stop now, not when he wanted to know more about her even though he shouldn’t. Instead of listening to his inner voice that told him to stop the conversation, he stood and moved toward her so he hovered over her, a mere breath away.
“You know what I’m talking about. Those guys at the bar who were out of line and drunk off their asses. You froze up and looked like you wanted to be anywhere but there. I wish I could have gotten them out of the place sooner, and I’m sorry if it hurt you. Or brought up memories you’d rather forget.”
“I’m fine, Dare.” She met his eyes before looking away, her face expressionless. “Things aren’t always as they seem. I’m fine now. I wasn’t always. But like you, I’ve moved on.”
He cursed under his breath, and she stiffened. Instead of doing what he should, what they both should, he cupped her face with his palm and brought her gaze to his.
“I’m still sorry it upset you. I don’t like when you’re not yourself. Or at least, not like the woman I’ve come to know.”
She blinked up at him and licked her lips, bringing his attention to the curve of her mouth. He wasn’t even sure she was aware she’d done it.
“I’m not upset anymore.”
He inhaled her scent, trying to calm himself, but his heart still raced. “Can I kiss you?”
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