He didn’t know why he’d asked, other than the fact that he truly wanted to taste her. With anyone else, he would have just kissed them, knowing they wanted it from their body language and the look in their eyes. He wouldn’t have had to ask. Kenzie? He couldn’t read her, even though he thought he might be able to one day. So he’d asked. He’d bared himself to her and asked.
She didn’t startle, didn’t blink. “You want to kiss me?”
“Yes,” he said patiently. “I want to kiss you.”
“We shouldn’t.”
It wasn’t a no, but he still didn’t move. “No, we probably shouldn’t. But I still want to. Will you let me?”
She swallowed hard, and he could feel her jaw work as she did so. “I…we can’t…okay.”
He was the one who blinked this time. “Okay?”
“Okay…if you still want to.”
He chuckled. “We sound like we’re in middle school now, trying to figure out how to kiss.”
She smiled again, and before she could say anything, he lowered his head and took her lips with his. She gasped into his mouth, but he didn’t deepen the kiss, not yet. He knew he needed to take his time with her, to take his time for both of them.
She tasted like coffee and sweetness, an intoxicating combination that set him on edge. When she hesitantly placed her hands on his sides, he groaned, but still didn’t kiss her harder. Instead, he tasted her mouth, explored her feel, and made sure this kiss would be ingrained on his mind—and hopefully hers—forever.
And when he pulled back, they were both breathless.
“I need to go,” she whispered. “I can’t think.”
He swallowed hard, resting his forehead on hers. “I can never think when you’re around.”
When she let out a strained laugh, he pulled back to look at her.
“You have to stop saying things like that. We don’t like each other, remember? We’re keeping our distance.”
He tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear. “I don’t think we were ever enemies, Kenzie. That was just a lie we told ourselves so we wouldn’t do what we just did.”
“I should go.” She pulled away from him, and he let his hands drop to his sides. “I…” She didn’t say anything else; instead, she walked out of his office, leaving him alone with his thoughts and his hope that he hadn’t just messed things up royally.
He hadn’t meant to kiss her, hadn’t meant to ask.
But now that he had? Well, hell, he wasn’t sure he’d had enough of her.
Not even close.
Chapter 8
Kenzie’s new goal in life was not to make as many mistakes as she had in her past but with that kiss the previous night with Dare…well, she wasn’t quite sure she’d accomplished that. What on earth had she been thinking letting Dare kiss her like that? What had she been thinking kissing him back?
She hadn’t been thinking, that was the only answer.
She’d already told herself that she had to stay away from Dare Collins. He was her boss’s son, first off. Secondly, he worked pretty much two full-time jobs and probably as many hours as she did—if not more—meaning, they’d never see each other except at work. It was also clear that he had as many issues in his past that he hadn’t worked through as she did. She might not know what had happened to make him leave the police force or why his eyes grew dark whenever anyone mentioned it in passing, but she knew when a man held secrets.
Mysteries that were not hers to know for damn good reason.
Dare also had a son, one whom he did didn’t see often enough for his liking. She’d seen the way his eyes lit up at the sight of Nathan, and it killed her that she couldn’t do anything about it for him. His ex had full custody, and while it looked like Dare was a good father, he clearly didn’t get many hours with his little boy.
She didn’t know the whys of that, but she had a feeling all his hurts were connected, and because she had enough of that on her own, she knew she couldn’t risk adding any more to either of them.
“Miss?”
Kenzie pulled herself out of the dangerous labyrinth that was her thoughts when it came to Dare and smiled at Mrs. Roberts, one of her guests for the next two evenings.
“Hello, Mrs. Roberts, what can I do for you?”
The older woman smiled at Kenzie and patted her hair self-consciously. “Um…we seem to have…well, we have an issue in our bathroom.” When she blushed, Kenzie had a feeling it was a clogged toilet. If she couldn’t handle it, then she’d have to call Loch since he seemed to know a little bit of everything, including plumbing, but hopefully, Kenzie could do it on her own.
“I see. I’m sorry about that. Let me go up with you and see what I can do.”
If possible, Mrs. Roberts blushed harder. “You see…um…well…the toilet is clogged,” she whispered.
“I understand. I’ll be happy to take care of it.” Poor woman. She could understand how embarrassing it could be in a public place even though it was a normal occurrence in the grand scheme of things.
“You don’t understand,” she whispered, looking over her shoulder as if someone could overhear. There was no one in the hallway, and voices didn’t carry that well with all the furnishings and wallpaper. “It’s not clogged with the usual, well, you know.”
Kenzie did her best to keep her face neutral. “Oh?”
The woman in her sixties spoke quickly at this point. “Mr. Roberts and I are here on our anniversary. We wanted to spice things up, you see, and it turns out neither of us is particularly fond of the edible panties we brought. Not the best flavor, though the reviews said otherwise. Since there was so much left of it, we thought we’d flush the remaining parts down the toilet instead of leaving it in the trash for the maid or you to find. I’m so sorry.”
Kenzie did not laugh. She didn’t even smile; instead, she nodded and did her best to keep the images of the older couple using edible underwear out of her mind.
Only there really wasn’t any hope of that, was there?
Well, it wasn’t the most embarrassing story she’d heard in her life while in hotel and inn management, but it might be up there on the list.
“You know what? Why don’t you and Mr. Roberts go out for dinner like you’d planned to this evening? I know you have tickets for the theatre we have in town, and you wouldn’t want to waste them. While you’re gone, we’ll take care of your room for you so when you get back, you won’t have to worry about it.”
Mrs. Roberts nodded, relief clear on her face. “Thank you so much. Oh, just thank you.”
“No worries. It’s what I’m here for.”
And when the couple left, Mr. Roberts not meeting Kenzie’s gaze, she let out a breath and went to find her plunger. This was the life she’d signed up for, after all—the non-glamorous parts and all.
“Thanks for helping,” Kenzie said two hours later as she sipped whiskey at the bar next to Ainsley. “Apparently, that was a two-person job.”
Her new friend shuddered before taking a sip from one of the three glasses on their shared flight. It had become their thing to try out different whiskeys and mixed drinks with the namesake liquor, and thankfully, they made mini-flights for those who didn’t want to end up stumbling their way to their rooms. It was also Whiskey Wednesday at the bar and on social media, so everything was half price. That was a win in her opinion.
“Thank you for not only letting me shower after that, but for lending me your clothes.” Ainsley picked at the sleeve of the billowy tunic Kenzie loved and grinned. “I might need to steal this.”
Kenzie narrowed her eyes, though her lips twitched. “Do, and I’ll hunt you down. I can run in heels, you know.”
“I can only run in sensible heels, not those stilts you wear.” She eyed Kenzie’s legs and sighed. “It’s not fair that your legs always look that good, even in your flats right now.”
Kenzie looked down at her pretty black and pink flowered lacey flats and smiled. “They’re my favorites.” She had a thin
g for shoes, she couldn’t help it.
“If only you weren’t a half size smaller than me,” Ainsley said with longing.
“I have a feeling I’m going to have to lock up my closet.” She grinned as she said it. She’d never had a friend who she could share clothes with before or ask for help in unclogging a toilet full of edible underwear.
That was true friendship right there.
“I’m glad we got the mini-flight because I need to go home and work a bit. I probably shouldn’t even be having these three tiny sips I’m having at all on a school night, but after what we just did? It’s bottom’s up.”
“Sips up,” Kenzie corrected, frowned. “Or just sips? I’m really not good at this whole talking thing, and I’ve only had two sips.”
“Next time, we’ll just share a whiskey sour and call it a night,” the other woman said on a laugh. “And with that, I should really go. I swear the stack of papers gets bigger each time I look at it.”
“My desk looks the same, mostly likely.” And though they were both complaining, she knew, like her, Ainsley loved her job and wouldn’t trade it for the world. Though she would probably say goodbye to grading if she could.
Since they were almost done with their drinks as it was, she downed the last of the one she liked the most and paid her bill before going back upstairs to see if there was anything else she could do before she called it a night.
And if she were being truthful with herself, she was doing her best to avoid seeing Dare before he showed up like he usually did in the evenings when he didn’t work. The man was more of a workaholic than she was, and that was saying something. She didn’t know what she was going to say to him, nor what she could say the next time she saw him.
So avoidance seemed like the best answer.
And the weakest, but she never claimed to be strong.
She’d just gotten to her desk when her phone buzzed. Since she’d had a little whiskey and was thinking about Dare and too in her head, she answered without looking at the screen.
“Kenzie. It’s about time you answered my phone call. You’ve always been useless, but at least once you did what you should and answered the damn phone.”
David. How could she have been so stupid? She hadn’t heard his voice since the divorce and always archived his messages for her lawyer without listening. Why hear him when his voice haunted her dreams?
She didn’t say a word, she just hung up, her hands shaking and her palms damp. She knew he’d call again and yell into her voicemail.
“Kenzie? What’s wrong?”
Dare had her in his arms before she could protest or even get her thoughts in order. And as much as she wanted to pull away and find her balance on her own, she couldn’t. Instead, she leaned into him, taking his comfort and strength and hating herself just that much more for it.
He slid his hands through her hair and held her close, and she did her best not to break down into tears. Thankfully, her eyes didn’t sting because she’d told herself that she was done crying over David’s words and threats. He meant nothing to her.
Okay, that was a lie, but she refused to let her ex-husband’s hate control her actions and dictate her emotions anymore.
“Kenzie?” Dare’s beard rubbed the top of her head as he held her close, and she closed her eyes, relishing his hold, his touch, even though she told herself she shouldn’t.
“I’m fine,” she lied, her eyes still closed.
Dare didn’t say anything, but she could hear the disappointment in his drawn-out breath. She didn’t know why she felt such a connection to this man. And she could still taste him on her lips though she’d done her best to forget it.
And she was letting him hold her, something she’d never thought she would let another man do.
“It was my ex-husband,” she said after a moment, her voice almost wooden.
Dare’s hands froze on the back of her head before he started petting her again as if he were trying to make everything better with just a simple caress. But nothing was that simple.
Finally, Kenzie pulled back so she could collect her thoughts and get her words out. “David and I have been divorced for almost a year now, but he doesn’t seem to understand that divorce means I don’t want to talk to him. Ever.”
Dare’s jaw tightened, but he didn’t say anything, as if he knew she needed time to say what she had to before she could respond to any of his questions.
“I met David when I was nineteen. He was a few years older than me, but I didn’t care at the time. I thought I knew what I was doing. He was so charming, so caring. He was a big player in a major company and eventually became the CFO. In fact, he still is. He’s powerful and knows it.”
“Kenzie…”
She shook her head, needing to get it out. “I didn’t realize he was controlling everything I did until it was too late.” She paused. “I could have said almost too late, but in reality, it was too late for me to go back to the Kenzie I was before I met him. I’ll never be that person again.”
“Did he hurt you?” Dare growled out, his voice low. “Did he fucking touch you?”
She met his eyes, raising her chin like she always did when she was facing her fears these days. “Just once. He hit me once, and I left. Or I tried to. It took me a while to get out and figure out how to be me without being his wife. But abuse doesn’t have to be with fists.” She pressed her lips together, collecting herself once more. She’d said the words, and there was no going back.
“What did he do, Kenzie? You can tell me, unless you want to stop and go have coffee and talk about nothing important. Don’t share with me because you think I need you to. Do it because you want to.”
And that right there was why she was going to tell him about her past. The more she kept it bottled up inside, the more she hid it from her present, the more important it became. Her path was not defined by a single instant. Her way in life was not delineated by her marriage. She was not defined by him. By David.
Her life was hers—hers to live, hers to thrive within.
And that was why she wanted Dare to know her. Because it was her choice, not a set of circumstances.
“I married David six months after I met him. I never once believed he was my Prince Charming—I don’t believe in fairy tales. But I thought he was my happily ever after, knowing that with that comes work. Everything started out okay as those things usually do.”
“There’s nothing usual about what you’re telling me,” Dare said softly. “There’s nothing normal about abuse.”
Again, she could see how he’d been a cop before this. He’d seen more than she could ever dream—not that he’d told her anything about his time then. But they weren’t together, were they? They didn’t know each other beyond what they were slowly learning. Why was she telling him this? Why did she need to? They’d kissed, they’d touched, and they had a connection, though she wasn’t sure what it all meant. And because something inside was telling her to tell him, she continued.
“He slowly changed the way I worked, made sure I was home more often for him. He belittled me. Told me I was fat or ugly or not caring enough. He said I never lived up to his needs. But he never truly yelled at first or made it seem like he was doing any of that. It was all the little things that added up to the bigger ones.” She met his gaze and tried to catch her breath. “I know others had worse. Have worse.”
“Stop.” He reached out slowly to cup her face, and she didn’t pull away from him. Progress. “Don’t compare your pain to others. It’s your pain. It matters.”
She swallowed hard. “I hated myself for what I let him do to me. I quit hanging out with my friends.” She didn’t have any left by the time she left the city. “I quit being me. But I’m working on that. I’ve been working on it. I might still jump at loud noises or freak out in a bar when two big men start to fight, but I don’t break down like I would have before. I’ve come a long way.”
Dare brushed her cheek with his thumb, and it took all w
ithin her not to move into his touch. “Hell yeah, you have.” He paused. “He called you today.” Not a question since she’d already told him, but it brought her back to the present rather than wading through her past.
She turned from Dare, the numbness from before replaced by anger. “He’s been calling since the divorce. I usually ignore him, but I wasn’t looking when I answered today. My mind was on so many things.” On you, she thought, but she didn’t say that.
His eyes narrowed as if something she’d said clicked. “He was the one who called you during your first lunch here in the bar.”
She’d almost forgotten. Not because it hadn’t meant something to her, but because David called so often, it was hard to focus on each and every occurrence. But she did vividly remember the way Dare had come over to make sure she was okay. She’d been so wrong about him. So, so wrong.
“I keep the voicemails for my lawyer, but that’s all I can do.”
“And you don’t have a damn retraining order?” He roughly ran his hand through his hair but didn’t move toward her.
She shook her head, clenching her fists in front of her. “He never leaves messages that could be used against him. He only yells and threatens me when it’s not recorded. He’s never let the world see who he truly is, and because of that, the system doesn’t work for me.” She shrugged, but she was anything but casual about her words.
“I was part of the system. And I know for a fact that it fails more than it should. But, hell, Kenzie, I’m so damn sorry.”
“I’m better. I promise. I’m not the same woman who married him. I’m also not the same person who finally left him,” she said honestly. She couldn’t have Dare see her as weak. She didn’t want to be a frail imitation of the woman she could be. “I’m better,” she repeated.
Dare studied her face. “I believe that, Red. You’re damn strong if you can stand here and even tell me any of this. You shouldn’t have been forced to go through what you did, and you damn sure shouldn’t have to feel like you need to tell me anything more if you don’t want to. You don’t owe me anything, but the fact that you opened up? That you trusted me? That means a whole hell of a lot.” He paused, a frown marring his face. “And your brother? You said you were cut off from everything, but I met your brother.”
Whiskey Secrets Page 8
